Happy Memorial Day to all our US viewers. For those of us who have other days to remember veterans and military personnel, I dub today “Memory Eel Day” since many internet blogs and content creators are off today, we can sit around thinking about Morley, the brave eel who saved the day with his near photo-perfect recall. Oh, Morley, I will never forget your highly entertaining and unique adventures. Highly memorable.
Anyhow, while many people have the day off, you know who doesn’t? LoadingReadyRun! We have three new videos for your enjoyment.
First up is Meatfist’s Terrible Choice. You’ve seen the ads for Zach Meatfist’s unique brand of problem solving on MEN, but have you ever seen one of his movies? We dial up the orange and the teal for this meatfisty showdown.
Next up is Unskippable. This week Graham and Paul take on Call of Duty: Black Ops II and… I have no clue what is supposed to be happening in this scene. It’s got like… 3 layers of nested flashbacks. At least. I’m not kidding. Every time a new character comes onto screen they seem to bring a flashback with them. I’m surprised one of the soldiers doesn’t show us a flashback of the breakfast he ate earlier that day.
And finally on this week’s CheckPoint, after years of speculation and fake rumours, Microsoft has finally unveiled its new console. The Xbox One.
The Xbone. My Xboner. Your Xbone’d! We are being watched by our Xbones.
We also cover The latest shadiness from Dennis Dyack, some silly marketing from Sony, and a boneheaded idea from Ouya. An action packed episode!
Well, that should provide you with at least 15 minutes of entertainment for Memorial Day/Memory Eel Day. If you’re still looking for something else to do today, remember the words of Morley, the famously brainy eel we are all extremely familiar with: It’s not a fox if it’s a cat.
Back in 2003, I met a young man at a journalism conference. He said he was starting to make videos to put on the internet, a concept that was alien to me at the time, since YouTube hadn’t been invented. I asked to see one. He showed me, on a laptop in a hotel room, a grainy, black and white video of him and his friends walking down the street with Pumpkins on their heads. I was transfixed.
Well, whoops, this is another late blog update from me! But fear not, dear LRR blog readers, this time instead of being lazy, I was just sick, which while different, is still an excuse. So there’s that. But there’s also… VIDEOS! So many of them. Long ones, short ones. Ones with shorts in them. Ones without shorts. A whole… variety of pant length options to choose from in this week’s assortment of videos.
First of all, let’s talk about the latest LoadingReadyRun video, SPRING!
Have you ever wanted to focus the horrific bro-energy of your local frat into a force for good? No?
Well have you thought about what it would be like? No?
Is it really just me then? Imagining an army of bros, all popped collars and salmon shorts, high-fiving and fist pumping as they walk old ladies across the street and help out with municipal improvement projects? OK, even if it is just me, you must admit this video has also given us this gif, which is basically the pinnacle of human gif-making achievement.
This video raises many questions. Why did EA make a third Army of Two game? Why wasn’t the first game just Army of 2: 2? There are so many sequels I’m sure they could have slipped that one by us. Why would they think spelling it as “TIIIO” in the game would make any sense? Were they actually just going for a very subtle Bill Cosby joke? Science may never know the answers to these questions. Because they are stupid.
This week’s CheckPoint also focuses on something stupid, in that it focuses on the business dealings of one E.A. Inc. Ha! See what I did there? I am a genius. EA is going to be doing all the Star Wars games. That is horrible. Except that means people like Bioware are going to be doing them. That’s actually probably just fine.
This was also the 100th episode of CheckPoint! Hooray! We didn’t do anything spectacular for it, but there is a neat graphic at the end.
Speaking of 100 episodes, we also put up the 100th episode of Feed Dump last week! Featuring basically every Feed Dump host we could put together, Feed Dump 100 is basically Feed Dump All-Stars.
This week’s Feed Dump is Insects for Dinner, in which Graham, Paul and Alex discuss the merits of feeding on insects. The UN thinks you should do it. An honestly, if those insects were ground up into hamburger patties we really wouldn’t be able to tell. I ate a McDonald’s cheeseburger last month and it barely tasted like beef.
I think the UN is just trying to gear us up for the inevitable future where long, hot showers are a luxury of the rich and children don’t like the taste of beef because it’s weird and not what they’re used to eating. DayQuil is in short supply in this future too, just to make things even more miserable. The horrible, Mad Max future is coming. That’s what the UN is trying to tell us. Get your taste for bugs ready now. It’ll make stuff way easier down the line. The only solace I can take in this future is celebrity gossip probably won’t matter because Kim Kardashian will be our new Queen. She will rule from a throne made of insect carapaces and the remains of Kanye West, whom she devoured, spider-like after she finally bore his blessed, fashionable centipede spawn.
“Kathleen,” she will whisper, the words becoming clipped as they leave her thorax. “There is no law now. There is no hope. There is only Kardashian.” Then she will reach out with a hybrid arm/mandible/spider leg thingy and touch my face. It will be black, firm and glossy.The tip will be expertly manicured.
“Does this floral print make my butt look big?” she will hiss. There are no right answers to give to the Kardashian Brood-Queen. That is how I will die.
Huh. Maybe I shouldn’t take DayQuil before I write these posts.
So… moving on.
If you’ve watched all those, why not watch this week’s Loading Time? Shot by our friend Dammit Liz, it’s all about Paul, Matt and James’ trip to the Calgary Comic Expo!
2. Relied on quick, back and forth dialogue (we haven’t done one of those in a while)
3. Capable of offending millions of people*
Of course, this video also has Andy in it, so I’m sure it will be beloved by all.
Next up is this week’s Unskippable, which is particularly funny, largely because it includes a Look Around You reference and covers an incredibly awful cutscene from Resident Evil 6.
CheckPoint this week is all about piracy. Turns out video game piracy means developers have a hard time making money, and one developer had thought of an insidious way to teach pirates what their actions can do.
Last week’s Feed Dump also brought us the all-new Cray Scale (TM). Get yours today.
We ALSO have a new episode of Friday Nights called Guild Fight. No spoilers, but remember, there is never such thing as too much Dimir.
*Seriously. I didn’t include certain countries in this video simply because I couldn’t think of anything rude to say about them.
Also, I totally forgot to update last week as well. Check out our Videos page for any other stuff you might have missed!