Holy moly, this is going to be one big ass blog post today, because I have a lot to talk about, and I’m not about to start cutting out jokes in the name of lame things like “conciseness” and “ease of reading.”

Those things are for… well, I was going to say chumps, but in reality, all writers should strive for simplicity. But then again, I also have a ton (or in Canada, a metric butt tonne) of stuff to talk about.

First of all, as summer winds down, aren’t you looking for a hot playlist of certified hits*? No? Well, you’re getting one anyhow. I (Kathleen) invited myself onto the That Thing You Like podcast to talk about awesome summer music. Feel those sweet Jamz™ wash over you. Perfect tunes for the beach, makeouts, or just sitting in a dark room.

Next up, I just have to remind everyone we have a Pinny Arcade pin! It’s Professor Pigglesworth, the cute, unofficial mascot of CheckPoint.  These pins are limited edition, so if you want one but won’t be at PAX Prime, maybe track down someone who will be? I hear our forums are a lovely and inclusive community! This pin was designed by none other than me (Kathleen) to be as cute as Penny Arcade would let us make it!** A great gift for fans of CheckPoint, pins, LRR, Pinny Arcade AND pigs!

Moving on, this week in video related news, we give you another deceptively educational The Whole Story video, this one about batteries. What is real? What will get you in trouble if you put it in an essay?*** You’ll just have to watch and find out. Also the stinger is supposed to be epic.

For Unskippable, Graham and Paul take on Dead Space 3, and tackle what is surely one of the most asinine premises for a video game series, the Dead Space markers.

So we have these towers called Markers. They make energy. But they also turn everyone around them into horrible monsters. Yet for some reason, people keep building them. Even though we know what they do. This is stupid. Is this the conversation people are having every time one gets built?

Scientist: So these markers give you FREE energy.
Dude: But… don’t they also turn people crazy and then into horrible undead monsters?
Scientist: Well, yes but the energy is free!
Dude: I would argue the whole “monster thing” should be included in how you’re defining “free.”
Scientist: You lack vision.

Moving on, this week’s CheckPoint is looking to branch out a bit. We’ve heard Sony Santa Monica is up to something big, and that sounds like fun. We have skills. And various body parts. Please call us.  Also in the news, the Xbox One is also changing again and the COD: BLOPS zombies have decided to up their game a little.

Finally, thanks for everyone who said they wanted more cat tokens. Look for more news on those sometime after PAX!

*These hits were not certified by any body whatsoever.

** Penny Arcade placed no limits on the amount of cuteness we were allowed.

*** Most of it.