This thread is so gay

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Aeralis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Aeralis » 31 Jan 2012, 18:13

This woman's choice of words makes me sad, because I know it shouldn't matter, but it really, really does. If everyone was strong enough to fight for who they are and what they want, it wouldn't matter that some claim that being gay is a choice, because it would be a completely baseless accusation.

But the thing some people tend to forget sometimes is that some members of the gay communities just can't or don't want to fight. They live in the closet, or try to come out, but then get pushed back in. My ex is one of these people. He made such a huge deal about being gay, but being cut off from his family because of it eventually made him want to take the easy way out and just play straight. Admittedly, he's bi, but with a strong preference for men, but none of that matters because it's not the point that anyone is going to look at. What matters is that his entire family can now say, with proof and a living example, that being gay is indeed a choice.

And that is what causes so much damage to the gay rights movement. Really, on its own, the fact that she said she "chooses" to be a lesbian is meaningless. It could be taken to mean that she is clearly bi, but prefers women, and that sounds to be what she was getting at in the first place. But the snag lies more in the struggles that many go through because of this argument, and how that taints the points and gives people a weakpoint to exploit.

...I can't tell if I hit the point I was trying to make. :|

Anyway, let me wind the drama down a tad with a rather silly question. For a while now, I've been kinda bummed that I don't really own any kinds of "pride paraphernalia." I am proud, and I want to show it, and I would quite enjoy the way to tell any cute guys in the area that, yes, you can totally come give me your number or whatever, so I've been thinking of getting a simple bracelet or necklace or something.

But I've always been of the opinion that a person's sexuality doesn't matter to anybody, and there's really no need to bring it up unless it's needed. It's not a secret that I'm gay, but it's also not something I ever voluntarily say unless it's necessary or comes up in conversation, and I respect that most people don't care or want to know.

As you can see, these two mindsets clash a bit. I know it is incredibly insignificant and silly, but I'm actually a little torn over it! Anyone got any advice?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Duckay » 31 Jan 2012, 18:20

I used to have this problem a lot (when I was single). I wanted to signify that I was out to any prospective women I might like to date, but I was one part worried about making a scene (especially since during high school, I had a teacher tell me to stop acting like a lesbian in public, and another tell me that the reason I was targeted for homophobic bullying was because I should have kept it to myself), and one part thinking that it just shouldn't matter and I shouldn't just bring it up all the time.

I never really came to a conclusion myself. Then I got my haircut and realized that's what I'd been missing; I've been "read" as a lesbian or bisexual woman a lot more by strangers or casual friends since getting my hair cut short. I suppose there's nothing like that for guys, though.

I guess I can't really offer you advice, but I hope that this ramble at least reassures you that it's not just you?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby theDreamer » 31 Jan 2012, 18:24

I believe that one's religion is a personal thing, and shouldn't be pushed into others' faces.

It is as personal as sexuality, in my mind. Among certain groups (church, or perhaps a group of friends who go out hunting for sexual adventure, for example), it is important, but to the general public? Private.

That never stopped me from wearing a Chai when I identified as Jewish (or even my bracelet with my hebrew name [or even USING my hebrew name]), nor should it stop a person from wearing a cross, dagger, or other religious symbol.

It equally shouldn't stop you from wearing a pride symbol of any kind.

Sure, it's a conversation starter, which is nice just for meeting people (potential partner or not), but so long as you are wearing it for pride first, then do it.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Aeralis » 31 Jan 2012, 18:27

That... actually makes a lot of sense. Thanks!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 31 Jan 2012, 20:08

Avistew wrote:
AlexanderDitto wrote:Because if it's a choice, a parent has every right to "convince" their child to change their mind.


Do you mean they feel they have every right to, or that they actually have every right to? Because if it's the latter, I strongly disagree.


I meant they legally have the right to. Of course I don't think they have every right to, but under the law children are pretty much at the mercy of their parents, unless the state deems the children to be in danger, and in the south, conversion therapy would probably not be considered a danger. Parents have the right to "do what they think is best" for their children, and if that means conversion therapy, their child will be subjected to psychological damage, no questions asked.

Aeralis wrote:But I've always been of the opinion that a person's sexuality doesn't matter to anybody, and there's really no need to bring it up unless it's needed. It's not a secret that I'm gay, but it's also not something I ever voluntarily say unless it's necessary or comes up in conversation, and I respect that most people don't care or want to know.


I'm torn in exactly the same way, and I don't really know what the answer is. Part of me wants people to know who I am and who I like and wonders if I'm behaving a certain way because I'm just scared of being "perceived" as gay. The other part of me thinks that's ridiculous, that it's not really anybody's business but my own, that it shouldn't matter what I am, and that if I try to get people to perceive me as gay, THAT would be altering my behavior.

Plus, being out to the people around you means breaking down prejudice just a little bit more, and fights the automatic "straight" labeling that most people apply to everyone.

Plus, it's damn hard to meet a boyfriend if no one knows you're gay.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 02 Feb 2012, 21:01

I have the same problem in that I want to cut my hair to be more obviously lesbian, but I don't look good with short hair. I would wear gay rights shirts or something, but where I live most straight people wear them.

Also, Washington is one step closer to gay marriage! I can hear the conservatives readying their petitions as we speak.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 02 Feb 2012, 21:17

Hooray for Washington!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby tak197 » 03 Feb 2012, 22:32

AlexanderDitto wrote:Plus, it's damn hard to meet a boyfriend if no one knows you're gay.


I found mine online. But to be honest, we both talked about the fact that we really lucked out on finding each other. So I know what you mean.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 04 Feb 2012, 08:35

tak197 wrote:
AlexanderDitto wrote:Plus, it's damn hard to meet a boyfriend if no one knows you're gay.


I found mine online. But to be honest, we both talked about the fact that we really lucked out on finding each other. So I know what you mean.


Thus the old joke: finding a boyfriend/girlfriend if you're gay is like finding a job: you either have to know someone, or find it on the internet.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Deedles » 06 Feb 2012, 09:06

Psyclone wrote:I have the same problem in that I want to cut my hair to be more obviously lesbian, but I don't look good with short hair. I would wear gay rights shirts or something, but where I live most straight people wear them.

Also, Washington is one step closer to gay marriage! I can hear the conservatives readying their petitions as we speak.


I know that this isn't really part if the gay rights discussion, but I know what you mean. I had short hair once, and I actually really liked having short hair, but I kept being mistaken for a guy .. probably because I dressed like a boy back then.

Anyway, just felt like sharing the love for short hair as a female. :D

----

On topic I don't find it bad in anyway to wear a symbol that signifies something about you. Wearing a necklace, or bracelet or something to show your religion or sexual preference I don't really see as very different from wearing a shirt, a button, a patch or something like that to show that you like something, like Star Wars, Doctor Who, Super Mario, etc. In the end it's something that's part of you.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 06 Feb 2012, 13:37

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 06 Feb 2012, 18:15

Short hair definitely rocks. You don't need to dry it or style it or anything. You don't even need to use shampoo on it, just warm water works just as well. I miss short hair.
This being said long hair allows for more hairstyle variety.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 06 Feb 2012, 22:41

I have curly hair though, so if I don't weigh it down a bit with length it just turns into this mass of frizz sticking straight up from my head. Still, I'd love to be able to pull off short hair.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby tak197 » 07 Feb 2012, 14:50

I figured it was overdue, but I should post this picture.

My friends, meet my boyfriend, Dan.

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 07 Feb 2012, 14:52

N'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :3
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Matt » 07 Feb 2012, 15:20

So uh, the the ruling that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional was upheld 2-1 by the ninth-circuit court of appeals today, and they subsequently decided that judge Walker's ruling on the case was valid and did not warrant reexamination.

That's pretty big news.

Federal precedent and shit.

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby tak197 » 07 Feb 2012, 18:38

Yeah, I know. Now, I am not a scholar on procedure and stuff with regards to the Supreme Court, but I have yet to see see someone correct me on this, so here it goes.

The Supreme Court has the ability to say which cases they will and will not hear, based on many factors, one of which being stepping out of their constitutional boundaries. Because this is a state matter involving a State's constitution, it would be a violation of state rights for the Supreme court to make any ruling for or against the decision, because marriage is seen as a state decision. If it did go to SCOTUS, it would also affect the other states that do have current laws allowing same-sex marriages and civil unions, which are not involved in the case.

Therefore, the chances of this going all the way to the Supreme Court and seeing a "Prop 8" hearing are basically zero, because the Constitution of the United States prohibits it from happening.

NOW, if you know more about this and I made any errors in my statements, please let me know so I can be better educated on this matter.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby TheRocket » 07 Feb 2012, 18:59

tak197 wrote:I figured it was overdue, but I should post this picture.

My friends, meet my boyfriend, Dan.

Image



D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.


<3<3

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby tak197 » 07 Feb 2012, 20:01

No, I have not assimilated him yet.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Matt » 07 Feb 2012, 21:29

tak197 wrote:Yeah, I know. Now, I am not a scholar on procedure and stuff with regards to the Supreme Court, but I have yet to see see someone correct me on this, so here it goes.

The Supreme Court has the ability to say which cases they will and will not hear, based on many factors, one of which being stepping out of their constitutional boundaries. Because this is a state matter involving a State's constitution, it would be a violation of state rights for the Supreme court to make any ruling for or against the decision, because marriage is seen as a state decision. If it did go to SCOTUS, it would also affect the other states that do have current laws allowing same-sex marriages and civil unions, which are not involved in the case.

Therefore, the chances of this going all the way to the Supreme Court and seeing a "Prop 8" hearing are basically zero, because the Constitution of the United States prohibits it from happening.

NOW, if you know more about this and I made any errors in my statements, please let me know so I can be better educated on this matter.


That is probably true. And it is likely that it would be appealed to a lager panel of the ninth circuit before it was appealed to SCOTUS anyhow.

Furthermore, the ruling was narrow and applicable to California's situation specifically.

That said, the ruling was that Prop 8 is unconstitutional based on the a reading of the US constitution, so it could conceivably make it' way to SCOTUS if they decide they care to hear it.

Still. It's a pretty big deal.

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby tak197 » 07 Feb 2012, 22:03

Matt wrote:
tak197 wrote:Yeah, I know. Now, I am not a scholar on procedure and stuff with regards to the Supreme Court, but I have yet to see see someone correct me on this, so here it goes.

The Supreme Court has the ability to say which cases they will and will not hear, based on many factors, one of which being stepping out of their constitutional boundaries. Because this is a state matter involving a State's constitution, it would be a violation of state rights for the Supreme court to make any ruling for or against the decision, because marriage is seen as a state decision. If it did go to SCOTUS, it would also affect the other states that do have current laws allowing same-sex marriages and civil unions, which are not involved in the case.

Therefore, the chances of this going all the way to the Supreme Court and seeing a "Prop 8" hearing are basically zero, because the Constitution of the United States prohibits it from happening.

NOW, if you know more about this and I made any errors in my statements, please let me know so I can be better educated on this matter.


That is probably true. And it is likely that it would be appealed to a lager panel of the ninth circuit before it was appealed to SCOTUS anyhow.

Furthermore, the ruling was narrow and applicable to California's situation specifically.

That said, the ruling was that Prop 8 is unconstitutional based on the a reading of the US constitution, so it could conceivably make it' way to SCOTUS if they decide they care to hear it.

Still. It's a pretty big deal.

-m


Well, the quote that I read from Twitter was the judge said "Proposition 8 served no purpose, and had no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California." So yes, it's still a pretty big deal, but also that quote there serves as a logical reason that it must be repealed.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Matt » 07 Feb 2012, 22:05

Pretty much, which is why this is good news!

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 08 Feb 2012, 09:20

Every time I read "SCOTUS" my mind first sees it as "scrotum".

Great news though, but I'm afraid it's only a very small step.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 13 Feb 2012, 08:00

This thread is so on page 2! There's got to be SOME gay stuff going on or topics of discussion.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Master Gunner » 13 Feb 2012, 09:56

A friend of mine finally committed to a lesbian relationship? I dunno, not a lot has been going on, I guess. Also, I'm straight (allegedly), so what am I even doing here?
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