This thread is so gay

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 21 Oct 2014, 11:59

Heh. This is true. I should be more communicative. I guess I'm just reluctant to. Not because of anything to do with him but I'm not exactly without my own issues, y'know? Like I say - I don't want to fuck anything up.

Aye, true.

I guess. I just don't really like unloading my issues on to other people that much, and yes I appreciate the irony given what I'm doing right now. I also know what it's like to be going through insomnia / sleep deprivation (which is what I think he was going through) so I didn't wanna unload on him like that.

Heh. I think his sister actually worded it best - I mentioned offhandedly that I got about as much attention as a white crayon - when she said I just needed to find someone who used black paper.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 21 Oct 2014, 12:07

Fenrir wrote:Most of the time I get about as much attention as a white crayon XD


Nothing most of the time, but around Easter everyone wants to get their hands on you?

(Sorry)
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 21 Oct 2014, 12:09

Fayili wrote:
Fenrir wrote:Most of the time I get about as much attention as a white crayon XD


Nothing most of the time, but around Easter everyone wants to get their hands on you?

(Sorry)


*facepalm* XD
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 21 Oct 2014, 13:26

Fenrir wrote:I guess. I just don't really like unloading my issues on to other people that much, and yes I appreciate the irony given what I'm doing right now. I also know what it's like to be going through insomnia / sleep deprivation (which is what I think he was going through) so I didn't wanna unload on him like that.


You don't have to unload your issues, but I think a lot more people could do with just vocalizing and acknowledging their feelings and how they're impacting their behavior. Like, "I am feeling frustrated right now" or "I am not at my best today."
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 21 Oct 2014, 14:53

Mhm. I kind of realized after the point that I really could have done with just saying that I was having kind of a shitty day and all but yeah....what's done is done. On the one hand I wonder if maybe he's avoiding me but on the other the whole thing with twitter has happened since I lost spoke to him so .... *shrug*
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 21 Oct 2014, 18:28

Why don't you say something nice to him? So he knows you weren't mad at him?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 21 Oct 2014, 22:53

That would require seeing him first. :P Haven't caught him on Steam in nearly a week now.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 22 Oct 2014, 15:41

Well, we've now spoken. I wanted to say something about how I left things last time but we ended up talking about Gravity Falls for like three hours instead. Well...talking about / my giving commentary on the first few episodes as I watched them online / switching between talking to him and his sister / talking with him about his writing. .....That counts, right?

It was...nice. We just kind a picked up as if it hadn't been a week since we'd spoken. I also found out something amusing. This is a direct quote as to how I was introduced to his sister : "--I recall only insistent pestering that I should introduce her to: "My British Whovian friend." " Also, according to his sister, she was told that I am apparently hilarious.

Ok, really, am I just being SUPER dense here or something?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 22 Oct 2014, 18:04

Why would you need a white crayon on Easter? I'm missing the joke >.> Do you use crayons on eggs? Do you use paper that's not white on easter specifically?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 22 Oct 2014, 18:12

Yeah, you use them on eggs before you dye them to produce patterns because the dye doesn't go through the wax.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 23 Oct 2014, 01:27

*headdesk* XD
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 23 Oct 2014, 13:03

Aaah. I've never done that. I only painted eggs once but as I remember, we painted the eggs directly. Why don't you want the dye to go through? Were you painting shells that were still full? We emptied ours first.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 23 Oct 2014, 13:23

Avistew wrote:Aaah. I've never done that. I only painted eggs once but as I remember, we painted the eggs directly. Why don't you want the dye to go through? Were you painting shells that were still full? We emptied ours first.


ImageImage

Fenrir wrote:Well, we've now spoken. I wanted to say something about how I left things last time but we ended up talking about Gravity Falls for like three hours instead. Well...talking about / my giving commentary on the first few episodes as I watched them online / switching between talking to him and his sister / talking with him about his writing. .....That counts, right?

It was...nice. We just kind a picked up as if it hadn't been a week since we'd spoken. I also found out something amusing. This is a direct quote as to how I was introduced to his sister : "--I recall only insistent pestering that I should introduce her to: "My British Whovian friend." " Also, according to his sister, she was told that I am apparently hilarious.

Ok, really, am I just being SUPER dense here or something?


Good! If there's no hard feelings then it's OK to let it go, and you'll be more prepared for next time. I'm glad you got to talk. :)

You're overthinking this. His sister is a nerd who wants to be around/is now obsessed with a hilarious British dude who likes Doctor Who. UNSURPRISING.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 23 Oct 2014, 13:50

Heh, true. I guess I had assumed the pestering was from him, aimed at her. Looking at it now it would make sense for it to be the other way around.

Still, I think it counts for something that I at least get along with his sister and she seems to like me well enough so *shrug* Maybe it really is a sibling thing.....
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 28 Oct 2014, 15:27

I told my sister I was bisexual.
Well, I later said, "I have never been in a relationship with anyone. So really, I'm just not discriminate about gender".

She asked me: "so... like, if you're in a relationship with a woman... would you feel temptation for a man..?"

My reply was "It would be no different than for a heterosexual person in a relationship. Gender is merely irrelevant".

I was surprised by her question, but I found it interesting. Since I know myself being bisexual for so long, I have no idea what it means to people who are not.

I was unsure if telling her was a good thing to do. It sort of, spurged out. We were talking about a thing, and somehow I dragged the conversation into emotions and feelings and relationships. And then I spoke in innuendos. I suppose I told her flatly because I was tired of thinking of ways to dance around it. First family member I've told because it made the conversation much less awkward.

Parents don't know because I don't know why they need to know unless I get a boyfriend.
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We were talking about a mutual friend we were missing. And I was saying how I reserved myself to assess how I felt towards them (trying to work out if I was sexually attracted to them, or if it was something new [SPOILERS. It was something new. It was brotherly attachment]). I wonder how many times I've confused being sexually attracted towards someone and just feeling a strong social none-sexual bond.

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Fenrir » 04 Nov 2014, 02:55

*wakes up, checks his facebook account, finds the brother of the previously mentioned guy he has a thing for has added him on facebook, accepts add*

......Welp.

*screams internally*
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AdmiralMemo » 04 Nov 2014, 04:09

I've always been curious: why is there no male analogue to "lesbian"? (At least in English. I'm not well-versed enough in other languages to know if this is just another English quirk.) You can have a gay woman and a gay man, and they'd be a lesbian and... a gay man... Seems lopsided to me.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 04 Nov 2014, 05:25

Might be just how gendered labels work.

Actor.
You can have an actor or an actress.
You can have a female actor. But you rarely hear about male actresses.

Replace actor with gay. Replaced actress with lesbian.

Could also be that same sex relations between men was known about for thousands of years. But perhaps they didn't care about same sex relations between women because they probably ignored women or just thought women are allowed to be weird because they're women.

Basically I think it's probably due to sexism. And in an irony, in modern day it's lopsided the other way now.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 04 Nov 2014, 07:07

AdmiralMemo wrote:I've always been curious: why is there no male analogue to "lesbian"? (At least in English. I'm not well-versed enough in other languages to know if this is just another English quirk.) You can have a gay woman and a gay man, and they'd be a lesbian and... a gay man... Seems lopsided to me.


It's an interesting question. I'm not sure there's an obvious answer.

This and then this may give some perspective.

There are other words for "gay man." Sodomite, for example. But in general, there was much more debate over male homosexuality (which was considered a vice that would destroy society) than female homosexuality (which was considered a mental illness) around the turn of the century, so a lot of those words gained a very negative connotation. Also, none of them had an attachment to an idea of a culture: lesbian from its inception has been connected to the early works of Sappho, which may have helped it to persist as a positive term. Also, the word lesbian is much older than any other term for male homosexuality.

Actually, there are a number of such terms for female homosexuality: Tribadism and Sapphism, for example. None gained strong negative connotations.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 04 Nov 2014, 13:58

As I understand, gay has only recently meant homosexual for females as well. In other languages it only means homosexual male, which makes it the male version of "lesbian". However, because it's been used as the general term so much (because female and female homosexuality erasure), it now means both.

Still, if someone says "I'm gay" and I don't know their gender, I think male. If it turns out they're female, I have to do a mental adjustment. Same as if someone said they were an actor, but they're female, so that was actually a pretty good example.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 22 Mar 2015, 11:15

I'm really mad. An acquaintance was talking on tumblr about how they don't think het aros and aces should be allowed into queer spaces. They say that het aros and aces are part of the gsrm community but not part of the queer community, and don't belong there. I'm really fucking angry.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Elomin Sha » 22 Mar 2015, 11:36

Aces? GSRM? Those are new terms. When did Hetero become het aro?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 22 Mar 2015, 11:43

Aro = aromantic. Ace = asexual. A het aro is someone who is aromantic, but heterosexual. A het ace is someone who is asexual but heteromantic.

GSRM stands for Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities, which people were originally like, "Hey, this is more inclusive and easier to use than LGBT+" but it turned out it was coined by a pedophile who wanted to use it to represent himself as well, so it's fallen somewhat out of favor. MOGAI (Marginalized Orientations, Gender identities, And Intersex) was supposed to be a better alternative, but faces similar problems.

I used GSRM in my post because they did in theirs.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Elomin Sha » 22 Mar 2015, 11:49

Thanks. People really like labels.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 22 Mar 2015, 11:52

When you feel broken or wrong for a large percentage of your life because you don't match up with the "norm" a label can tell you that there are other people like you, and you're not alone. That's a powerful feeling, and very important.
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