This thread is so gay

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Psyclone
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 17 Mar 2012, 14:16

That's great! And it's completely relevant, because it's always good to know when someone comes to terms with themselves.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby The Jester » 17 Mar 2012, 15:11

Yeah, that's awesome, Blitz. He probably wouldn't have been able to do it without your support, so props to you. :)
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 17 Mar 2012, 16:23

BlitzRunner27 wrote:So a friend of mine has been fighting against his own homosexual tendencies for his entire life. He grew up in an extremely catholic household, and his parents are harshly anti-gay. He came to me after I came out to everyone myself and confided his own struggle, and I've been helping him come to terms with himself for the past four years. It's been a long, difficult struggle, but it is with great joy that I report: he fully came out to me two days ago, and is finally content with who he is. We've been slowly exploring his interests (completely platonicly,mind you. I already have a boyfriend.), and we've had a lot of fun. I'm really proud of him ^_^

Anyway, not really relevant to anyone here, but I thought it was a good story.


That is wonderful. You're a great friend, one a lot of people wish they had. Good for you. And totally relevant! I love hearing stories like that. Gives me hope. <3
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby BlitzRunner27 » 17 Mar 2012, 17:38

Thanks for all of the kind words, everyone! I've been relaying the responses to my friend, and he's been incredibly thankful for all of your support!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 19 Mar 2012, 18:34

Just got back from a talk by Dan Savage at my university. He talked about It Gets Better and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Brilliant speaker. Just as I thought I was going to start crying, he'd make the whole room laugh. He's a good guy doing good things.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 19 Mar 2012, 19:14

I really like Dan Savage. His bit about their dog always has me in stitches. He's definitely a great speaker, his columns can be good too but I find I appreciate him better when I hear him than when I read him.

EDIT: Also his husband is hot.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby River_Annarchy » 21 Mar 2012, 08:00

I honestly don't think ill ever get to see Dan Savage live. Curse where i live.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Danzama » 22 Mar 2012, 15:50

So, pride. What is one meant to wear or do?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 22 Mar 2012, 16:49

Danzama wrote:So, pride. What is one meant to wear or do?


Wear whatever you want. If you want to express yourself with crazy rainbow flags or whatever, that's fine, but you can just go wearing whatever... as for do... well, usually there's a parade of some sort? It's like any outdoor event. You walk around and there are maybe booths and food and musical acts sometimes. That's my impression.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 22 Mar 2012, 17:13

River_Annarchy wrote:I honestly don't think ill ever get to see Dan Savage live. Curse where i live.


I probably won't either, but he has plenty of videos on youtube if you're interested.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby River_Annarchy » 22 Mar 2012, 19:06

I'll be sure to look them up. When i've got a new power cord for my laptop.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 23 Mar 2012, 12:28

And with that, our annual attempt to beat sense into bored fifteen year olds is over. Thank Christ.

To their credit, this year went much better than the last few years. They were mostly apathetic or just sort of passively homophobic, and we had some good discussions. I still don't feel particularly accomplished.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby TheRocket » 23 Mar 2012, 20:14

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 23 Mar 2012, 20:20

It's in the same mindset as, 'some gay men rape boys, therefore all homosexuals, male or not, are rapists and pedophiles.' Still, that's a comparison I haven't heard before. Is she religious? I know recently the church has been trying to be more open to gay people, if by 'more open' you mean telling them their thoughts are okay so long as you never, ever act on them.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby TheRocket » 23 Mar 2012, 20:28

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Tally » 23 Mar 2012, 20:44

Thing is, she probably really needs to have some friends who encourage her to rethink such statements and to look at these matters in a different, more thoughtful and compassionate light. Often people's minds go to those places automatically, without real consideration, from a background or upbringing that is ok with or even encourages that sort of thinking (or not thinking). But if you point out the problems with their idea, they might be willing to rethink it. Sounds like she did that a little bit, at least.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 23 Mar 2012, 21:01

I wasn't trying to say anything about religion; simply that her reluctance to accept or act on her own feelings could stem from her upbringing. I agree that her comment was inappropriate, however.

On the other hand, she seemed to think about what she'd said after you confronted her about it, so maybe in future she won't say it.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby tak197 » 23 Mar 2012, 21:33

Tally wrote:Thing is, she probably really needs to have some friends who encourage her to rethink such statements and to look at these matters in a different, more thoughtful and compassionate light. Often people's minds go to those places automatically, without real consideration, from a background or upbringing that is ok with or even encourages that sort of thinking (or not thinking). But if you point out the problems with their idea, they might be willing to rethink it. Sounds like she did that a little bit, at least.


I do agree with you, Tally. She does need people to reinforce the opposing argument.

But at the same time, you really have to be dedicated to the cause to keep trying to change their mind. As horrible as it may sound, there are people that it isn't worth the oxygen to explain it to, because they will never change their mind on it until they change themselves.

To me, it sounds like her conflict is all internalized and she has to work on her own issues and reconcile those first before she rethinks things like her position on gay marriage. It's the whole basis of the jokes and stereotypes that "homophobes are self-hating gays", because internal sexuality is one of the more common issues that need to be reconciled in these cases.

(For example, we know Rick Santorum is straight, but he seems awfully obsessed with gay sex and marriage. What is it inside of him that makes him want to be so vocal about it: a failing marriage, insecurity of status, or something more base, like a psychological disorder?)
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby TheRocket » 24 Mar 2012, 06:42

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby TheRocket » 24 Mar 2012, 06:44

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby The Jester » 24 Mar 2012, 07:38

TheRocket wrote:If I were trying to convert atheists to Christianity it would be horrible in peoples eyes.

Except that analogy doesn't quite fit. Trying to make people more accepting of homosexuality (and any other orientation than hetero) it would be equivalent to making people more accepting of other people's beliefs. If you were going around trying to make people gay, that would be like trying to convert them.

I don't think it's so bad to try and get people to open up and be accepting, even if they don't want to be.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Drinnik » 24 Mar 2012, 09:02

TheRocket wrote:
tak197 wrote: As horrible as it may sound, there are people that it isn't worth the oxygen to explain it to, because they will never change their mind on it until they change themselves.


This.

Guys, I'm not really telling you the whole story here, so I do appreciate your input. But her and I literally stopped being friends for years because she did not want to hear my opinion on such things. She didn't want to be confronted with my lifestyle every time we hung out. Simply by being in my home you know four things about me. I am a gamer, a photographer a pin up artist and a gay rights activist. She is uncomfortable with 2 of those 4 things.


She has issues with you being a gamer and a photographer?

I think there comes a time in most friendships where they have to naturally end, but for some reason you don't want to. Maybe it's a sense of nostalgia for the good times you've had with that friend, or maybe it comes from either a loyalty or shared incident that means you feel that you can't live without them.

I think this is what you're experiencing, and believe me, I know what it's like. There's a person in my circle of friends and, as far as we can tell, not one person in the group actually likes him, but none of us can actually bring ourselves to severing ties with him because, well, because of 2 reasons mostly; 1) It's genuinely hard to break a friendship that has lasted a long time (I've known him 7 years, but there's people who've known him for 20+ years) and 2) Unfortunately, he is the bottom of our social ladder, so inevitably, we end up moaning about him. As toxic and as cruel as it makes us, I think we need him around to moan about.

That said, he's still a friend and we still look out for him, but he is so unreasonable and has so many frankly stupid ideas and morals (he literally has a Klingon sense of honour, and sees nothing wrong or unusal about this), and will always take the most extreme response to a situation, that we often question why we still associate with him.

Yeah, this has nothing to do with the thread in general, but I thought I'd share.

tl;dr: Some friends need to be left at life's wayside.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 24 Mar 2012, 14:45

I also have a friend who is homophobic. We're mostly out of touch due to that.
In her case, she's not religious, just bigoted. So her arguments have nothing about it being in the Bible or not, she couldn't care less about that.

But her stupidest argument ever? That gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry because gay people don't want to get married. How stupid is that? Obviously some do, or they wouldn't ask for the right to. And on top of that, nothing would force them to get married, just like nothing forces straight people to get married, either. It's pretty ridiculous.

Another of her argument: gay people are miserable due to being gay. Her uncle is gay and depressive, but with a family like hers, it's easy to understand why. I've never been able to make her understand that the reason gay people kill themselves more, are depressed more, etc, is because there is such a bias against them, and that LGBT people in supportive communities are just fine.

It all came up when we were in high school. It was pretty hard, but we were also close friends for a lot of other reasons. I ended up sticking with her because I thought maybe she'd change her mind by being next to someone who didn't have the prejudices her family did. She's also not the kind to actively do anything against LGBT rights, so she's not as harmful as some other people.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby TheRocket » 24 Mar 2012, 15:16

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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AlexanderDitto » 27 Mar 2012, 17:21

Now for some lighthearted gayness: yesterday night I realized I've listened to the same three ABBA songs probably 100 times each, so I just went ahead and downloaded the ABBA Gold album. (I fucking love ABBA goddamnit.)

I'm listening to it now while I'm working, and suddenly I fully understand the name of a store I saw three years ago while I was walking around the Castro in San Francisco.

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