New Game Plus

[Effervescent Gloom]

Life is tough -but not when you start out with all the best equipment and skills.

The premise is that Morgan already beat Life, and decided to start over for an achievements play-through. Morgan recants to Graham some of the details and strategies he used the first time around, which cut to flashbacks of using Paul to upgrade his equipment, sacrificing Jeremy and Matt in scripted choice events, and various other scenarios.

I have a script, but since I'm new to these forums, I don't know if there's any extended steps I should be taking, so I'm throwing this out there. If anyone is interested, please let me know.

[Arius]

Welcome to the forums. And a great way to start out. This is actually a really great idea. You can always email the script to the crew if you have it all finished.

[Effervescent Gloom]

Thanks. I'll set to doing that when I'm back on my own computer.

[DmitriW]

That's...really, really good, actually. I'd love to see the working script, if you want to post it.

[Machalllewis]

Sounds interesting. I am suitably intrigued. Any other details you care to reveal dude?

Also I would just like to say that your username is simply awesome.

Is it just me or is it weird that this guy has presented a video idea and I'm not poking holes in it for once? Have I just become 'that guy'?

[xpk3]

i really like this suggestion

Life is tough -but not when you start out with all the best equipment and skills.

just that line sounds brilliant

[Metcarfre]

I like this idea. I'm just imagining Morgan walking in to the moonbase with power armour and a gauss rifle.

Oh! And the haircut he got at Desert Bus would totally work!

[aurora.melody2]

This is a really good idea. I can really see this working as a video.
That tag line is great.

[Effervescent Gloom]

I appreciate the positive feedback. I have to visit family this weekend, so I'll shoot to have the script online Monday. At that time, any and all criticism would be appreciated. Before I submit it, I need to pare it down a touch for time and feasibility. Au revoir.

[Effervescent Gloom]

Ugh, very long holiday.
So I had to cut a crap-ton out of the original, but I'm ready to throw it up for anyone around to critique before I submit it to the people who matter.
Only technical difficulty is that I have to re-write it by hand here, because the Word program on the computer I'm using is locked and Celtx doesn't lend itself re-formatting.
But, up soon.

[Effervescent Gloom]

INT. GRAHAM'S APARTMENT -DAY

Morgan is passed out on the sofa.
Graham enters and sits on his couch; fervently grabs a controller to play Fallout.

graham:
One more, one more, one mo- Morgan!?

Morgan snaps awake, draws a side-arm that was tucked in his pants.

morgan:
Oh, oh, sorry Graham! I just needed to crash for a bit and your place was closest. So, what are you up to?

graham:
B-Bobble-hunting. Um, why do you have a gun?

morgan:
What?

Graham gestures towards the weapon.

morgan:
Oh, right. Sorry, I know, you're not supposed to see that yet. My bad.

graham:
What do you mean 'yet'?

morgan:
You're not supposed to queued in to the climax for a month or so.

graham:
Clima- Bu- Okay, sense, now.
(pointing to the gun)
Why -no. For?

morgan:
Final boss fight.

graham:
You're going to a final boss fight?

morgan:
No, I finished the final boss fight.

graham:
You shot somebody!?

morgan:
Not yet.

graham:
I told you to start making sense.

morgan:
Alright, I'll go slow. Here.

Morgan sets the gun down on the coffee table and puts Graham's controller back in his hands.

morgan:
Comfortable now?

Graham nods and stares at the screen, absently playing while Morgan continues.

morgan:
Okay. So, how's life Graham?

graham:
Need a stimpack.

morgan:
Good? So was mine, the first time.

graham:
Question?

morgan:
I beat life.

graham:
You... beat... life.

morgan:
Right. I'm on an achievements play-through right now.

graham:
Wow. What kind of achievements are there?

morgan:
Well, there's an achievement for keeping people alive through various stages, and last time I kinda took the easy way out.

FLASHBACK- INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM AT EXPO -DAY

Morgan, Matt, and Jer are in a small room.
Outside, legions of LRR fans attending the exp waiting to swarm them can be heard.

jer:
I had no idea this many people knew who we were.

morgan:
I had no idea this many of the chicks were guys in cosplay.

matt:
Well I fucked myself. Now every time I yell 'go away you sons of bitches' it just makes them swarm me with fervor.

jer:
Well the way I see it we can either bite the bullet, spend hours signing autographs and answering questions until the crowd dies down enough to get back to the hotel, or one of us can distract them while the other two sneak out.

matt:
It'd have to be Morgan then.

morgan:
Bullshit, you're always going on about being the most popular member.

matt:
Well normally I am, but here, you garner the lust of all the guys dressed up as the Evangelion girls, plus some regular people.

jer:
That makes sense. Otherwise, Matt and I would both have to suffer, or we could just go out there and deal.

Morgan shoves the two out the door.
Jer and Matt's screams clash against the sounds of fans cheering.
Morgan sneaks out the door and away while it can be heard that Matt and Jer are being mobbed to death.

INT. GRAHAM'S APARTMENT -DAY

morgan:
You gave a very touching eulogy.

graham:
Jer is dead?

morgan:
No, he just died.

graham:
Ah. So, you beat life, and started over. Shouldn't you be like, a baby or something?
...Because that makes sense.

morgan:
Well last time I did have the foresight to upgrade the particle accelerator to it's max, so I just climbed in and traveled to when we were this age, so it wouldn't be awkward for you guys. Though I did make a pit-stop when we were nineteen to hook up with Kate at your birthday party. It was an achievement.

graham:
Thanks for not making it awkward.

morgan:
So are you caught up yet? 'Cuz I got a few more things to take care of.

graham:
Just one: I'm not going to ask where you got a particle accelerator, but who -oh god.

FLASHBACK- INT. PAUL'S LAB -DAY

Paul is staring into his refrigerator, a baseball mitt on his head.
Morgan enters, an armful of supplies.

morgan:
Alright, I got the stuff.

paul:
Ah, excellent.

Morgan hands over a pocket watch, a poke ball, and a pineapple.
Paul ducks under the shot and comes back up with the pistol, which he hands to Morgan.

morgan:
Thanks Paul.

paul:
Now if I can just find a baseball mitt then the particle acc-

Morgan takes the mitt off of Paul's head and gives it to him.

paul:
Excellent! Now remember-

Morgan runs out of the shot.

INT. GRAHAM'S APARTMENT -DAY

graham:
Wow. So what else do you have to do?

morgan:
Well I just got back from one achievement and I think I lost her, so now I guess it's time to move on to my last one. I just have to find a yellow bike suit and Uma Thurman, so I guess I'll get on that. Have a good one Graham.

graham:
Wait, what happened to me last time?

morgan:
You're going to visit Kathleen tomorrow, right?

graham:
Yeah...

Morgan hands him the gun.

morgan:
Tell her that they're hibernating and that they're working on an app. Gotta run dude, Uma Thurman.

graham:
But-!

morgan:
-Uma Thurman!

End

[Arius]

Yes.

[tak197]

Wait, which Kate are you talking about? Cuz I'm pretty sure that Morgan being 19 would mean Kate Stark would be an uber LG...

[Effervescent Gloom]

Yeah, I thought about that, but for the life of me I can't remember what my original joke was when I re-wrote this. I'm doing it off of memory because I still haven't been back on my computer, but I don't like being so late after I set a deadline for myself. I had a long-running theme that Morgan's second play-through was solely to get laid, but again, forgot. I'll edit that one later. This kind of video doesn't lend itself to such crass humor.
By all means, any questions, critiques, or comments appreciated.

[tak197]

Oh no, it can be as crass as you want it to be, just look at the videos on the site. Three Words: Slightly Naughty Nuns.

[Arius]

Alternatively:
One word: Morgan.

[aurora.melody2]

Someone in the crew should really check this out, if they haven't already.
What you have here is a good start, but I think it needs some refining.
However, I've never written a script before, so I don't really feel qualified to tell you exactly what's good and what isn't.

[Effervescent Gloom]

Thank you, but by all means, tell me what works and what doesn't. If I submitted this, it would be with hopes that it would be presented to all of you guys, plus others. If something doesn't sit well with you then let me know, even if you don't know how to correct it.
Besides, I cut about five pages of stuff anyways that I might be able to switch in.

[epocalypse]

I agree with the others, much check outing should be had by crew members. Nice draft! The one thing I'd say it needs is a few more quick cut jokes playing on things like continues, and extra lives, maybe even a false start where Morgan does shoot Graham and has to start over with out the audience having been explained the concept yet. Play up the "Game" aspect of the idea a bit more, maybe have some kind of collecting achievement mentioned, too. Also, you I feel you either got to have Kate changed to someone else or have Graham be a bit more indignant. The Last critique I have is that Morgan is a bit too in control and making sense in his dialogue, it's got to be a little more scatter brained. Maybe this is like his eighth or ninth attempt to get a certain achievement. right now it all smacks a bit too much of forethought; remember that Morgan is like a force of nature, acting and reacting to the world around him, more an agent of change then a well organized planner. Again, great start.

One other thing I thought would be great is if Paul showed a bit more self awareness in his role as the tech/shop keep character in the game, and required Morgan to pay him 50 gold or some such.

[Unclever title]

I am liking this idea VERY much!

One other thing I thought would be great is if Paul showed a bit more self awareness in his role as the tech/shop keep character in the game, and required Morgan to pay him 50 gold or some such.

Count me in as a second on this idea.

Also I had a thought for something involving rare named equipment/weapons Morgan missed on his first run.

Though when it comes down to it I think you did well on the general pacing, so I'd be wary of adding TOO many details.

[Metcarfre]

Very good, but yeah, needs a bit of tightening and maybe an edit or two. Also, definitely needs XBox achievement notifications with punny names.

[Ed.]

Very good, but yeah, needs a bit of tightening and maybe an edit or two. Also, definitely needs XBox achievement notifications with punny names.

Seconded

also it should be a little less sensical

[Evil Jim]

I like this idea too & pretty much agree with the other suggestions in this thread. One thing I need to add tho' is that the conversation is rather one-sided. You have Morgan explaining all this crazy stuff & Graham is basically feeding him opportunities for more explanations. Think "Down With the Sickness" & engage Graham more in the conversation. He could know about the achievements in the game of life but just hadn't gotten as far as Morgan. Perhaps Morgan had cheated his way to the end the first time. Perhaps Graham is working on a different set of achievements.

There are lots of opportunities for a variety of humour in this scenario. From the expected oddball stuff to the practical, nailing every girl you ever wanted, to the darker, avoiding the inevitable agony of watching your parents die of old age by preventing them from aging. Especially funny if they are now currently younger than you.