In other news, how is everyone holding up? Any new stories or news from mah gayzorses?

I was chatting with a good friend of mine, we've both been bitten by the 'dressing well' bug. His wife and someone else jokingly said we 'might be mistaken for gay men' because we started dressing well.

Not cool, right?

Very. I have little to no fashion sense. In my experience most gay men just dress more expensive, not necessarily better. Except me. I still shop at Old Navy.

But you dress like a proper athlete. I think that's okay.

Also, why does dressing well mean you like cock? That never made sense to me.

Because only women dress well, and if you dress like a woman, then you're OBVIOUSLY a fairy. It's very simple.

I don't know if that's actually the thought process behind that accusation, but it's the reverse of the reasoning behind the butch lesbian stereotype, so it seems possible. Ignoring the fact that I wear more skirts now that I'm out than I ever did when I was straight.

Speaking of clothes, I went clothes shopping with a gay friend of mine today. I don't hate clothes shopping, but I don't really give it a second thought most of the time, so he picked out stuff for me to try on and all that jazz. Interestingly enough, though, he talked about being kinda freaked out by clothes shopping because he doesn't want to be seen doing it and stereotyped as a "fairy," as it were - i.e. a "fashion gay." Is that a thing that other people feel too?

Its quite simple, if a man dresses well he is thinking about penis.

Sometimes someone elses, sometimes his, sometimes both.

Gay or strait Im betting the guy is thinking about penis and how the nice cloths will take that penis into sex.

I think the stereotype is that males are more attracted by appearances, and therefore straight females and gay males (and bisexuals) need to worry more about their appearance. So really I think that more than homophobic, it's sexist towards men.

The stereotype might also be pretty regional -- when I lived in/near SF, I can't think of anyone assuming that a guy who dressed well was gay... hell, I knew lots of straight guys who'd go to man-spas. I'd be surprised if Vancouver was different.

I have little (or no?) fashion sense, other than finally stopping wearing too-big t-shirts and knowing either belt or suspenders, never both


I'm not sure why "if a man dresses well" is a necessary qualifier on this

I think it's more, "oh, interested in something that's not football or monster trucks? Must be teh gay."

Ah, the crappy stereotype that's been driving us geeks insane for years, whether actually gay or not...

Maybe they just dress really well for when they go to monster truck rallies.

I know I do; but then, I'm straight.

Actually, I should dress up and go to the next monster truck... thing that comes here. Get all pretentious wearing a tweed suit or some such. "I say, you common street urchin, quite the good show these mechanical wonders are engaging in, eh?"

Edit; this just popped up on my tumblr, and it's so good and so topical I'm posting it here and the Menswear thread;

Gay monster truck rallies. Not that the patrons are gay of course, just that the trucks enjoy revving over the backs of cars just a little too much.

Ok screw it.

I wanted to post this on Sunday, but I felt like it's all I talk about with you guys.

Sunday I had my third date with Dan, the guy I mentioned a few weeks ago with the New Year's day date. We went to a mall in NJ with two of his friends (both of whom said I was "gorgeous", which got me blushing), looked around, got some Japanese food. Then we went to see a movie, and ended up seeing Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Amazing movie by the way.

We get back to his place and much cuddling and kissing continues, because we are that adorable (his friend Leah said she wanted to vomit because of how cute we are). So that all happened, then I got quiet and wanted to ask him something. After five minutes of getting stopped, I finally spit it out.

"would you be my boyfriend?"

Without missing a beat, he said yes. He then told me that there was something I had to know before we went further. He has Cerebral Palsy. Now I had noticed the leg brace and the right arm tension since we first met, but I didn't know how to ask him about it. But to be perfectly honest, I didn't care or mind, nor do I now. So I asked him if he still wanted to be my boyfriend after telling me that. He called me adorable and kissed me.

So I have my thyroid surgery in February, with a huge question mark on the rope connected to the Sword of Damocles over me, and I am still working in retail and struggling to make ends meet. But because I have my first real boyfriend, I'm walking on air.

On the flip side, I am terrified that I'm not going to be a good boyfriend, and I like him too much to screw things up, so I need any friendly advice (though I took the first step and gave him permission to tell me to knock it off if I start getting too worried or start overthinking it all.)

Ermm. I can't say much, though as friends with someone with early onset Parkinson's, I can say that people that have come to a kind of acceptance of their disease might rib about it early on in the relationship as way of reducing tension and making you more comfortable talking about it. If you are an easily incensed person, this might strike you as a little offensive or bleak. Try to get over that quick... remember they want you to be at ease about it and getting up on a PC horse about the wrongness of joking about disabilities is the opposite of that. I will say though, before you start cracking wise about it, let them drop the first joke. Otherwise you might be assuming a level of confidence that you don't yet have. Or that this is a person that uses humor that way when they actually don't.

That's adorable! Don't be afraid to talk about this, because that's super awesome news.

I know absolutely nothing about relationships, though, so I can't help you there.

Ok, first off, I think I'm going into a diabetic coma from all the sugary cuteness over there. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous! :p

Now, I know it's not something that you can just immediately start doing, but really, don't worry about it. He wants you to be happy, and seeing you fret will make him stressed. Of course, let him be there to comfort you for important things, like your surgery, but stressing about screwing up the relationship is one of the best ways to screw up the relationship. You'll overthink and be generally stressed, and you'll go a little overboard in your efforts to keep things good.

There's a reason that he liked you before it was official, so just keep doing what you've been doing! The best thing you can be is yourself, and enjoy the ride.

Oh I will wait for him to make any jokes about it, but I won't be offended if he makes jokes about himself. I come across very sweet and subdued, but I have a wicked sense of humor that shocks most people.

I think though that I am going to set up a special date for Valentines day for us, because I want to give him a nice time, and also, my surgery is the 13th, so I will be out of commission for at least a few days if not a week. I won't have much money, but I want it to be something nice for the two of us.

Good deal, tak, awesome. You guys sound really cute. I don't know what his condition entails but it's good that he told you from the get go so that's done with.

Awesome. Hope it goes well for you and one day they're the kind of person you can get an kick-boxing class gift certificate and share a good laugh over it.

Gay marriage is going to pass in Washington State! Unless some asshat pulls out at the last second, of course.

... sounds like my first time?

-m

I considered wording it differently, but meh.

Incredibly poor phrasing for this thread