Would you donate any hairs split to my collection that I will eventually sell off to hair-extension makers for a lucrative sum?

Sun of the Mother

Pasta punner?

How close do I have to be to be considered his friend?

My avatar hits the secret LAZOR CHARGING button on the keyboard and performs that secret flail-shake to activate it.

Okay, so here's my 5 cents: 1. It's not that bad at the moment. 2. It can get worse if we let it. 3. The papers and TV stations are making a huge fucking deal out of it that doesn't need to exist. Seriously, there are NO confirmed cases in Australia and they're already putting in articles "What...

Clearly evil by association

Thing is, I know I have a fast metabolism and all, but I quite regularly eat quite a bit of junk food, like bacon and melted cheese, and I eat a couple chocolate bars every day. Maybe it's all the walking I do between college and home... I'm in the same situation as you. I'm close to 6 foot (I'm pr...

Do you even have any knowledge beyond post wars?

It is certainly a dark video, but I really liked it. It was funny, and well-shot too. It does what all humour is essentially supposed to do - take something that we can all relate to ("has this ever happened to you"-style infomercials that are clearly fake) and takes it to its logical extr...

Do you even know what a short straight is?

Some Aussies who live near an airport are told to piss off. They have a fight about the constitution.

Why does the number of times I've slept with your mother matter?

www.twitter.com/taylorrtay

Have fun, if you remember me from the days of yore.

Faster runner.

I am 100% in support of LoadingReadyRun posters, I'd be more likely to buy them than a t-shirt probably...

Also,

Jillers wrote:You know what I would buy? Buttons. I seriously love buttons.

Buttons with quotes on them! DO IT!

Epic winner.

someone else come up with one.

Don't feed them, but let them sit there.

A: Get the high score beforehand.

Q: What's the new epidemic today?

Forum-type Pokemon

Why AREN'T carrots?

A: It'd probably bite me first but I'd try.

Q: What ridonkulously influential album from 1997 had the song "Paranoid Android"?

Have you even read the Bible?

So, I was sick of Austria being the world's biggest douchebags, overtaking Serbia and then having the balls to send their Archduke driving round town in an open-top car, so I shot him in the back of the head, and downed a vial of cyanide. Turns out, the cyanide was shoddy and only made me throw up. ...

Seriously, WTD?