I think the girl I'm dating is ignoring me. Considering things were going well last time I saw her, I'm kinda confused.

Nice. Works well.

Tighten up the filming and audio, and make the cuts quicker would be my advice, but as far as material goes, spot on. I genuinely laughed.

So far so good, yes.

You don't know what v-card is, and yet hymen just trips off the tongue? You clinical medical textbook fox, you

Elomin, this conversation with you seems to be turning in to the script for a very bureaucratic porno...

And yes, Avistew, it was a good experience. I understand what all the kids are talking about.

Then phone up your local council and let them know about the mistake, because you're entitled to one.

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1779788_10202742891590079_206519736_n.jpg You know. This place. Could be good. For. Going to. For. Beauty needs. http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/christopher-walken-76th-annual-drama-league-awards-01.jpg Also: http://www.talktostrangersblog.co...

Thank you for the high-five, here's your receipt.

Elomin, a V-Card is something that you are born with, that you have until someone takes it from you, and when someone takes it, they don't get to keep it, and they can't give it back. And sex is involved.

I believe it does.

Didn't think I'd be the one to necro this thread... but yeah.

I have a spare v-card that I can't use anymore, if anyone wants it.

A giant squid of anger is definitely something that needs to be a meme if it isn't already.

I love it. Someone please draw this or gif it or something.

So we've seen each other a couple more times. We have a lot of fun, and I think she really likes me. My only worry at the moment is (apart from her bi-polar disorder and past suicide attempt which, though I don't hold it against her in any way, I know will be a conversation we're going to have at so...

Actually, that's a fashion choice. I have been told this many times by friends who understand fashion.

Did someone say pull?

PULL!

(Launches clay pigeons)

So, last minute things got in the way of us getting together tonight but I still feel great about this. I don't think I've been this excited about someone and felt that they were just as excited about me. Last night she stole my iPod while I wasn't looking and changed the home screen to a picture of...

Most of my writing is in script form, so I'll post links when the filming is done or if a performance is going on. That said, I did a little writing for Uncyclopedia of few years back. Some of it's a bit schlocky (it was written a while back), but here's a few of my better satirical/humour pieces An...

She likes me! I like her! I'm seeing her tomorrow! Exclamation marks!

It's kind of been going that way anyway, haven't seen her in ages. Once in a while I expect more of someone than they can deliver...

It's so fucking stupid, everything that I am about to say right now. To start with, it happened on Facebook, which is always the start of something that shouldn't be worth your time, but somehow is. A friend of mine, known for drug problems, not being the brightest spark, and high melodrama posted a...

We'll all help, Professor Sloth.

I've always objectified you Elomin... (Bats eyelids)

I like it, the costume looks dashing, minimalist, yet exciting. Go Peter!

I have met someone I like and I have been texting. She has red hair, she is clinically bi-polar, has attempted suicide, (on meds and doing well now) is very pretty, seems to like me. She's faintly bizarre, but nice, and I want to see her again. She hasn't dated anyone for a while because of a bad br...

She didn't come through the house. Only her mother did.

I didn't even recognize Jenny McCarthy, someone had to explain to me who she was, and I pieced it all together afterwards.

Below the quote it also says that The Queen legalized gay marriage in England and Wales. She did no such thing. Parliament legalized gay marriage. The government passed the law. The Queen is not a member of government and wields no political power. I can believe that the Queen would be sarcastic (al...

Last three days have been intense at the Haunted House in Jekyll and Hyde. I have had a lot of compliments about my performance. Friday night we did a series of covert scares, where I would go in to the haunted house pretending to be a normal person, then freaking out in the final room of the house ...