Phailhaüs - 04

[Vaughn]

Except...don't make phun phof phour phussies phin pharmor...

fun fof four fussies fin farmor?

[DicyDax]

INTERLACE!

I know, I know.



I forgot.

You know, one of my mates were at this anime con, and they were showing fan parodies (also AMV's), and he was sitting besides this guy who would shout "INTERLACE" when he would spot it. And he did. At several occasions.

[webrunner]

I read "Ask Kathleen" as "Ash Ketchum"


Take from that what you will.

[Wraith]

Tell you what.

You get a team of pale European Rugby players together, and I'll gather up a group of three hundred pound NFL linebackers. We'll set them up to play American Football without any padding and just see who's the first one cry and demand "armour."

Seriously, I've heard the "Rugby is tougher because they don't wear padding" excuse so many times. LOOK WHO'S PLAYING IT.

Here's a thought, by that logic, the ice Hockey that you Canadians love so much is just women's field hockey played on ice by "pussies who need to wear armor."

[DicyDax]

Tell you what.

You get a team of pale European Rugby players together, and I'll gather up a group of three hundred pound NFL linebackers. We'll set them up to play American Football without any padding and just see who's the first one cry and demand "armour."

Seriously, I've heard the "Rugby is tougher because they don't wear padding" excuse so many times. LOOK WHO'S PLAYING IT.

I bet the Rugby players would win.

[Graham]

I don't think you've actually looked at who's playing it, Wraith.
Have you seen the All Blacks? The Springboks? If you're thinking some weeny, lanky Brits are mincing about on the rugby pitch, you've got another thing coming.

[DicyDax]

you've got another thing coming.

Ain't that like some song. From ... the 80's or summat?

[Wraith]

Have you ever SEEN the average rugby player? They're about my size. You ever see a 300lb Rugby player? First time they got the ball they'd be snapped in half first time they were tackled.

[Lyinginbedmon]

I notice no-one has pointed out this little factoid:

Neither Salisbury, Conneticut or Salisbury, Wiltshire are related to the Salisbury Steak, also known as the "hamburger steak". It's actually named for James Salisbury, an American from New York around the time of the American Civil War, who was convinced that diarrhea suffered by the soldiers could be cured with regular meals of coffee and lean beef steak.

And I agree on the Rugby/American Football argument. Yes, it's true that because they wear armour the AF players can do even tougher things. Why don't Rugby players? Because they'd all be killed if they did. Rugby easily trumps AF in terms of contact danger.

I'm sure the argument could continue for a good long while, neither side winning but a stalemate, so I'll cover points now:

Americans used to be Britains. We're capable of the same stuff, Rugby players aren't "pale Europeans" and I doubt that AF players are weaklings either.
AF players wear armor, Rugby players don't. The former runs head-long at eachother with little compulsion to stop, the latter tries quite often to clothesline you because the former tactic would end up killing both in a bloody muddy mess.
Af players generally avoid kicking the ball because it leaves it open to interception, so run across the field with it. Rugby players kick the ball because the contact is rougher, so keeping the ball about your person is a suicide move.
AF players get more coverage, because AF is pretty much the national pasttime. Rugby players get less coverage, because Britains tend to be less favourable of violence, so we generally prefer Football.

So, points in favour, points against, let's just agree to disagree, like we all did back in the late 1700s. How are the French, by the way?

[Red Charlie]

Have you ever SEEN the average rugby player? They're about my size. You ever see a 300lb Rugby player? First time they got the ball they'd be snapped in half first time they were tackled.

I don't understand!

[Lyinginbedmon]

It's just occured to me:

An American is arguing against a Britain, a Canadian, and an Irishman now...


I don't think this is fair odds.

[Wraith]

Most of The All Blacks' (who would get their asses kicked for having that name alone, considering they're from New Zealand and don't have a single black player) players average just over 200lbs, with half of them not even weighing that much. The defensive line in in the college football circuit averaged 285 lbs, while the offensive line hit 300.

Pro football players players are bigger, meaner, and hit harder than any Rugby player you'll ever see.

[Wraith]

It's just occured to me:

An American is arguing against a Britain, a Canadian, and an Irishman now...


I don't think this is fair odds.

Yea, but I'm the American. If I'm arguing with less than three people I get uncomfortable .

[JohnyMcmuffin]

Most of The All Blacks' (who would get their asses kicked for having that name alone, considering they're from New Zealand and don't have a single black player) players average just over 200lbs, with half of them not even weighing that much. The defensive line in in the college football circuit averaged 285 lbs, while the offensive line hit 300.

Pro football players players are bigger, meaner, and hit harder than any Rugby player you'll ever see.

I wonder if the armour is the reason that football players are bigger. It allows one to take much harder direct hits, while without it, you have to be able to avoid taking too much punishment. Smaller people tend to be more agile, and therefore are better suited to a sport in which contact has to be avoided.

There is not a shortage of large men in the rugby pool. The All Blacks pull from the Maoris and other islander cultures, who tend to be very large. (The university I attend starts multiple Tongans/Samoans/Pollies on the american football team.) It isn't the lack of large men that decides the size in rugby, but the nature of the game.

[Lyinginbedmon]

To give a vaguely-apt analogy, against a guy with small arms fire you want body armor, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.

[Wraith]

Americans used to be Britains. We're capable of the same stuff,

And humans used to be monkeys (BAD Wraith, BAD. Totally uncalled for. I just couldn't not say it once it entered my head).

About a quarter of us used decended from Britains. Namely the ones that didn't fit in well over there, came here, gave up tea and krumpets for coffee and steak, then decided they were sick of England and proceeded to kick their ass. If you had been capable of the same stuff, we would still be British. [/macho American chest-beating]

AF players wear armor, Rugby players don't. The former runs head-long at eachother with little compulsion to stop, the latter tries quite often to clothesline you because the former tactic would end up killing both in a bloody muddy mess.

Have you ever actually clotheslined anyone? There's two ways to do it: one involved the arm going into the neck. If the other person is running, this will likely kill them. The other involves the arm hitting the person's chest, which is to a propper tackle what an open-handed slap is to a strong right hook.

Af players generally avoid kicking the ball because it leaves it open to interception, so run across the field with it.

Actually, we avoid kicking because with the rules the way they are, it just doesn't accomplish anything.

Rugby players kick the ball because the contact is rougher, so keeping the ball about your person is a suicide move.

In other words, they don't want to get hit.



yea. We're the pussies.

AF players get more coverage, because AF is pretty much the national pasttime. Rugby players get less coverage, because Britains tend to be less favourable of violence, so we generally prefer Football.

yea. We're the pussies.

[Wraith]

I wonder if the extra hundred pounds of angry black man is the reason that football players are bigger.

You know, I think it is.

[Wraith]

To give a vaguely-apt analogy, against a guy with small arms fire you want body armor, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.

No, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.





We just want a bigger rocket launcher. Used to be British.

[Lyinginbedmon]

...then decided they were sick of England and proceeded to kick their ass. If you had been capable of the same stuff, we would still be British. [/macho American chest-beating]

I'm trying not to laugh here...

Okay, without going into a big historical tirade, you're way off. You never left America, your best ally was France, and you were against the entire British Empire and then some. "Kick their [hind-quarters]" is our theoretical perspective, not yours. Fortunately King George thought it wasn't worth the bother to slaughter you treasonous dogs than it was to simply trade.

The American Revolutionary War was akin to the Iraq War, but with a better ending.

...In other words, they don't want to get hit.



yea. We're the pussies.

Here's a question then: If someone points at gun at you, do you duck?

Seriously, you're the wimps because you wear armour to avoid insta-death. We're not because we forgoe the armour and avoid the insta-death. For you it's a bad bruise, maybe a concussion, possible a broken limb, for us it's a near-death catastrophe in the least.

[Vaughn]

To give a vaguely-apt analogy, against a guy with small arms fire you want body armor, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.

No, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.





We just want a bigger rocket launcher. Used to be British.

against a guy with a rocket launcher, i'd rather have a portal gun.

[Lyinginbedmon]

No, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.

We just want a bigger rocket launcher. Used to be British.

Most people prefer to run from a rocket launcher, that's the smart thing to do....which may explain a few things.

Okay, enough with the hyperbole, on with valid argumenting.

[Wraith]

...then decided they were sick of England and proceeded to kick their ass. If you had been capable of the same stuff, we would still be British. [/macho American chest-beating]

I'm trying not to laugh here...

Okay, without going into a big historical tirade, you're way off. You never left America,

When did I say we did?

your best ally was France, and you were against the entire British Empire and then some.

Yeeea, I'm not sure if you meant that part to make your losing seem more pathetic, but if not, well...epic fail.

"Kick their [hind-quarters]" is our theoretical perspective, not yours. Fortunately King George thought it wasn't worth the bother to slaughter you treasonous dogs than it was to simply trade.

Yeeeea, I used to hear that a lot after a fight.
:::guy gets up with a black eye, stumbles around:::
"You're not WORTH IT, MAN! You hear me? YOU'RE NOT WORTH IT!

Men who get their ass kicked seem to frequently decide that whoever is kicking their ass "just isn't worth it."

Funny, that.

Here's a question then: If someone points at gun at you, do you duck?

Depends on the range. Within three feet, no. If you know what you're doing, you have better odds of survival if you attempt the disarm. The person behind the barrel is either the type of person who's going to shoot you regardless of your actions, in which case you have nothing to loose, or they're the type that don't really WANT to shoot you, but will if they feel you're forcing them to. The latter rarely expect you to try anything and can be surprised.

From further away, yea, I get out of the way because the other person has the tactical advantage. Your analogy is flawed, however, because in that scenario, one person is armed, and the other isn't. In Rugy, everyone's equally equipped (well, there's physical differences, of course, but in that case, if they're better equipped than you, that's largely your fault).

Seriously, you're the wimps because you wear armour to avoid insta-death.

Yea, and so would Rugby players. The difference is that they don't FACE insta-death, because they're only going up against other rugby players instead of 6'6" 300+ pound football players. I guarantee you, you put a Rugby team up against a pro football team, both without pads, the Rugby team would either be begging for pads or dead by the end of the first quarter.

We're not because we forgoe the armour and avoid the insta-death.

Wow. You don't wear a helmet to a pillow fight. What balls.

[Wraith]

No, against a guy with a rocket launcher you want to run like heck.

We just want a bigger rocket launcher. Used to be British.

Most people prefer to run from a rocket launcher, that's the smart thing to do....which may explain a few things.

We prefer to stop it so that it doesn't threaten anyone else.



Guess we're not most people.

[Master Gunner]

According to the Bathroom Reader (ok, maybe not the most reliable source, but whatever), the American Revolution got off to a very bad start, and was almost defeated before it began, until Washington crossed the Delaware and defeated who? The Germans. Why were you able to defeat the German mercenaries? Because they were too drunk to translate a note they had received detailing Washington's entire plan. Up until that point Washington's troops had been resoundingly beaten by the British, and moral was at it's lowest point.

So in summary, the American revolution didn't gain any momentum until they defeated an army of drunk German mercenaries...who they outnumbered almost 2:1.


That's all in the past and besides the point though. I'd rather go to a Rugby game than a (American) Football game any day. Also in Rugby, how many two second plays are there? (Although I'm sure Wraith will find a way to make that convince him that he's right).

[Zed Alpha]

Most of The All Blacks' (who would get their asses kicked for having that name alone, considering they're from New Zealand and don't have a single black player) players average just over 200lbs, with half of them not even weighing that much. The defensive line in in the college football circuit averaged 285 lbs, while the offensive line hit 300.

Pro football players players are bigger, meaner, and hit harder than any Rugby player you'll ever see.

Er..I'm on your side.

Bigger, yes. Harder. No. They're about the same. Meaner....Fuck no.

Aaand...Did Master Gunner just call George Washington a cheater? I think he just called the FATHER OF OUR COUNTRY a cheater!

And the All Blacks would, in all honesty, stomp around half of the NFL into the mud by themselves. Except for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.