EXTREME MAFIA TO THE MAX (Day FOUR)

[Vaughn]

I SUPPOSE THEY COULD, BUT UNLESS THEYRE CONCEPTS ABOUT BONING 2 LADIES WHILE FREEFALLING OUT OF A PRIVATE JET, WHILE ON FIRE, INTO A POOL OF JAGGED SHOT GLASSES AND BISON STEAK, THEN THEY MUSTN'T BE TOLERATED.

[Allen!]

Metcarfre: Thrash, Tim, Josh, Master Gunner, Curbee, Jester, Lavos
No Lynch: Genghis Ares
Gordon Fearman: Gordon Fearman
Yet to Vote: Metcarfre, Emperor Gum, Beta Guy
LOL: Vaughn?

He screamed. "Don't make me drink it man, don't make me drink it! I'm not extreme enough for that shit!"
"That's right!" they shouted. "You aren't! And now... it's time to die, PUSSY!"
They forced the volatile green liquid down his throat, and he died, gasping for air, for life, even in spite of himself and who he goddamn was.

Metcarfre has been lynched by some GOONS.

BATMAN



Who's more badass than anything? Besides Chuck Norris, man. BATMAN. THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH "WHERE DOES HE GET THOSE WONDERFUL TOYS" BIG BAD BAT MAN. FUCK. You're not even Bruce Wayne, you're just Batman. You could be any Batman you wanted to be, or any Batman you DIDN'T want to be, because Batman does not get to choose. Batman is chosen by Batman, and Batman does not get to choose if he wants to be Batman or not. That's not how it fucking works, buddy.

YOU ARE TOWN

ALSO. You are a roleblocker, which means you can fucking kick the teeth in of somebody during the night, and it effectively blocks their powers. ALTERNATIVELY, you can block somebody's vote during the day, effectively telling them you don't give a shit about their opinion. You can only do one or the other per day/night cycle.

You win when all threats to the town have been elimidated.

BAHAHAHAHA. NICE WORK, ASSHOLES. I HOPE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF DURING THE NIGHT, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE ALL FUCKED.
No more talking, it's night. Send in your abilities, please and thanks! You have(give or take) 24 hours.

[Metcarfre]

[Allen!]

****DING DONG****

A man in a house sits straight up, as the door bell's toll fades.

"What? Who would be calling at THIS hour? That is most unnatural. But, as an extreme man myself, I must heed the call. Being wicked cool doesn't stop when the sun goes down, and people might have need of me!"

He opens the door, glancing about. "What's this? Nobody about? Oh, what have we here?" The man glances down. "It appears somebody as set a fire upon my porch! How very outrageous! I'll show them extreme! I'll put it out my stomping on it with my bare feet!"

****KABOOOOOOOOM!****

Master Gunner is dead!

You are...

RUSSIAN ROULETTE



The most death defying of amazingly awesome games. Six men in, five men out. The last man? OH FUCK HE'S DEAD AND WE DRANK HIS VODKA. FUCKING ROCK THE SHIT OUT, HIDE THE SMOKING GUN. Oh and make sure we didn't leave any vodka behind. Are you alive? THEN YOU WIN. EVERYBODY IS A WINNER. Except that one guy. Fuck that guy, anyway.

YOU ARE TOWN

You win when all threats to the town have been elimidated.

He was also(secretly) The Crazy Old Man At The Edge of Town!

If you are investigated, you appear as guilty. You don't know this, though, you'll find out when you die!

In a bush nearby, a group of young rogues snicker and toss their detonator away, before skateboarding off down the street. Across town, another man drinks himself into a stupor, but only succeeds in giving his wife a black eye.


IT IS NOW DAY TWO, FUCKERS. ROCK THIS SHIT OUT, TRY NOT TO FAIL AGAIN.

With 11 people alive, it takes 6 to force a lynch. La dee da!

[Joshua]

WHO NEEDS THE GODDAMNED BATMAN ANYWAYS! HE WASN'T EXTREME AT ALL NEVER KILLIN ANYONE AT ALL, WE NEED TO QUIT DICKIN AROUND AND FINDS THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

I FIND YOUR LACK OF SORROW EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS!

I SUGGEST WE SELECT OUR NEXT TARGET FROM ALL THOSE WHO SUDDENLY JUMPED ON THE GET-METCARFRE-DEAD BANDWAGON: ME, TIM, JOSHUA, MASTER GUNNER, CURBEE, JESTERJ., AND LAVOS. WELL, MAYBE NOT LAVOS, SINCE HE REFRAINED FROM IMMEDIATELY PILING IN WITH THE UNHOLY GLEE EXHIBITED BY THE REST OF US. AND NOT ME, BECAUSE I DON'T BE THAT SCUM.

[Master Gunner]

DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL!

[Tim]

HEY MAN, MORE PEOPLE DYIN' AIN'T COOL. I MEAN, ONE PERSON'S GOTTA DIE SO'S WE CAN GET THE GAME STARTED, BUT TWO PEOPLE JUST AIN'T RIGHT.

ALAS FOR BATMAN. HE WAS AWESOMEXTREME...

[Beta-guy]

2 PEOPLE DIED BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T EXTREME ENOUGH TO REALIZE WHAT WAS GOING ON, NOW THE SCUM THAT DID THIS ARE CLOSER TO VICTORY. WE'VE GOT TO POOL OUR KNOWLEDGE AND EXPOSE THE SCUM FOR WHO THEY ARE. DID ANYONE SEE ANYTHING LAST NIGHT?

[Gordon Fearman]

FUCK, BATMAN OWED ME 5 BUCKS!! HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA GET THAT BACK NOW!? I NEED MORE WHISKEY!!!

LYNCH: EWARD JAMES OLMOS
REASON: I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS AND HE MAY BE THE SPY!!!

[curbee]

TRASHJAZZASSASSIN SEEMS TO BE AWFULLY DEFENSIVE....
FOS ON YOU.

[Tim]

TRASHJAZZASSASSIN SEEMS TO BE AWFULLY DEFENSIVE....
FOS ON YOU.

THAT'S A PRETTY EXTREME POINTING FINGER YOU'VE GOT THERE, SON!! YOU'RE ALREADY JUMPING INTO LOOKING FOR ANOTHER LYNCH VICTIM!?!

WOW!! MOVING FAST!!!!

[Lavos]

VOTE JESTERJ. HES A LITTLE TO UNFUNNY FOR HIS NAME, I DONT LIKE THAT SHI.

[JesterJ.]

VOTE LAVOS ANYONE THAT SAYS THEIR OWN NAME FOUR TIMES PRECEDING EVERYTHING THEY SAY IS UNTRUSTWORTHY.

[Tim]

WE HAVE A STRAIGHT-UP "HE SAID SHE SAID" SCENARIO GOING ON HERE, FOLKS!! EXTREME!!

OUR GOAL HERE IS TO FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE OF THEM--IF EITHER--IS THE "SHE"...!!


OR WE COULD JUST LET THEM FIGHT IT OUT. HERE, LAVOS, YOU TAKE THIS SHOTGUN, AND JESTER J, YOU GET TWO DESERT EAGLES. HAVE AT IT, EXTREMERS!!

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

TRASHJAZZASSASSIN SEEMS TO BE AWFULLY DEFENSIVE....
FOS ON YOU.

WHAT, BECAUSE I SAID I'M NOT SCUM?

THE FOLLOWING IS EXTREME SARCASM-> HOW REMARKABLY SUSPICIOUS THAT I SHOULD SAY SO. I MUST BE SCUM.<-THE PRECEDING WAS EXTREME SARCASM

NOTICE HOW I STILL INCLUDED MYSELF IN THE LIST OF SUSPECTS. THAT'S NOT DEFENSIVE, IT'S EXTREME. IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, JUST STAY BACK AND WATCH, MISSY.

[Gordon Fearman]

I've always wondered, how do you know if someone is mafia after you kill them? It's not exactly something that shows up on autopsy.

[Allen!]

They have membership cards.

[Gordon Fearman]

Why don't we just search them first?

[Emperor Gum]

I'M SORRY GORDON FEARMAN, I CAN'T READ YOU, YOU'RE NOT TYPING LOUDLY ENOUGH.
LYNCH: GORDON FEARMAN

[Gordon Fearman]

That's because I'm asking these questions out of character for my own curiousity. In character:

IF I GET LYNCHED MY LAST MEAL BETTER BE A TURKEY STUFFED WITH A WHISKEY BOTTLE COVERED IN SCOTCH!!!

[Tim]

YOU WOULD EAT A WHISKEY BOTTLE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


THAT IS SUPER EXTREEEEEME.

BUT WHY AREN'T YOU REALLY DEFENDING YOURSELF FROM THE ACCUSATION? ARE YOU WORRIED THAT IF YOU TRIED HARDER TO DEFEND YOURSELF YOU'D LOOK EVEN MORE GUILTY? SEEMS KIND OF TRICKSY TO ME.

[Gordon Fearman]

AND SO YOU'RE BACK
FROM OUTER SPACE
I JUST WALKED IN TO FIND YOU HERE
WITH THAT SAD LOOK UPON YOUR FACE
I SHOULD HAVE CHANGED MY STUPID LOCK
I SHOULD HAVE MADE YOU LEAVE YOUR KEY
IF I HAD KNOWN FOR JUST ONE SECOND
YOU'D BE BACK TO BOTHER ME

GO ON NOW GO WALK OUT THE DOOR
JUST TURN AROUND NOW
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT WELCOME ANYMORE
WEREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO TRIED TO HURT ME WITH GOODBYE
YOU THINK I'D CRUMBLE
YOU THINK I'D LAY DOWN AND DIE
OH NO, NOT I
I WILL SURVIVE
AS LONG AS I KNOW HOW TO LOVE
I KNOW I WILL STAY ALIVE
I'VE GOT ALL MY LIFE TO LIVE
I'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE TO GIVE
AND I'LL SURVIVE
I WILL SURVIVE

WHOO!! I NEED A DRINK!

[Tim]

...

VOTE: GORDON FEARMAN

[curbee]

I THINK I SMELL A MEXICAN STANDOFF!
VOTE: TIM