Taken Literally

[iwashere33]

no matter how hard you look, or how many people will tell you it's true. Your princess is always in another castle.

[Arius]

If you don't die in a poetic or dramatic way, you get another chance.

EMP bombs cause tanks to explode at random.

A good night's sleep cures everything, even death!

[Vaughn]

Time waits for you to figure out what youre going to do.

[PearlSpark]

Nothing can take out a wall unless its in the script or the engine allows it.

[the amativeness]

Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character.

Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character.

Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character.

I was SO waiting for someone to do this.

[Jillers]

Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character.

Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character.

Talking to people multiple times can reveal more about their character.

I was SO waiting for someone to do this.

I was surprised no one else did by the time I got here.

[Genghis Ares]

Somehow, missions/cases/quests you are on tend to scale in difficulty as you progress deeper, in an extremely unnatural and illogical manner.

[Cap'n Jonny]

The entirity of the mightiest empires in history, from stone age to high technology, consist of about a dozen villagers, few soldiers and maybe a boat if you get a water map.

[Arius]

The world is brown.

The world is shiny.

Ankles never bend.

[wartjr2373]

When monkeys get hurt, they run away and hide in barrels.

No matter how many allies you have at your disposal, you can only take a few of them with you. The rest must stay behind.

[Genghis Ares]

Yet they still follow you around to various towns and places of interest. In case of an opening.

[Vaughn]

The moment you get a papercut, your superpower to shoot lasers goes away.

[Gordon Fearman]

You can only attack with the same 3 hit combo over and over.

[Arius]

Relationships are easy. Just give a lot of cake to a girl and see her twice a month and you'll be married before you know it.

Bullets may tear through metal, glass, and wood but you'll never have to worry about getting bullet holes in your clothing.

Sword defeats gun.

[Genghis Ares]

Bullets sometimes can't go through chain link fences.

[Machalllewis]

While bullets can go through wood that has been processed and turned into furniture a single leaf on a tree can easily stop a rocket.

[Arius]

Never wear a helmet, doing so guarantees you'll die. Especially if the helmet covers your face. Unless, of course, you're the only one wearing a helmet.

[theDreamer]

It doesn't matter if you can climb tall buildings, jump off, and land in a pile of hay, then walk away as if nothing happened. Nor does it matter that the man with a sword cutting you is nearly incapable of injuring you. If you touch water, you WILL die.

Aliens are required to move from side to side while slowly descending.

A wooden shield makes you immune to rockets.

When you die, any bombs that you have planted vanish.

There are always three bosses/weakpoints/items you need.

If an master assassin gave you his horse, you can use it's dead body as a giant chest. Don't worry, it will revive and let you ride it soon.

A set of blue clothing can allow you to breathe underwater.

Pipes are populated by carnivorous plants that sometimes shoot fire.

Rolling makes you immune to damage.

If you die, you will magically wake up in the nearest special pod you past, completely safe from enemies, despite being utterly alone. Don't worry, no time will have elapsed.

Playing a song on your instrument can change it from night to day and back again. No one will notice you've altered time's flow.

Traveling forward and backward through time is the only way to defeat your most dreaded foe.

[the amativeness]

Invisible walls exist in random locations, to keep people from going where they're not supposed to go.

[theDreamer]

The most effective aerial dodge is the barrel roll, so one must ALWAYS DO THEM.

[girhen]

A fart not only causes yellow smoke, it propels you, hurts/kills enemies, and recharges in five minutes. Less if you eat other people.

You can recover from a few AK bullet wounds in about 5 seconds. You're vision will be a little red and blurry though.

If you can't stab it, shoot it. If you can't shoot it, throw a grenade. If you can't throw a grenade at it, shoot it with an RPG. If that still fails, the flamethrower or Molotov cocktail will easily destroy it or the people inside.

If your lightsaber like thing runs out of energy, act like it's a dildo and it'll recharge.

If you name all the games from their odd pieces above, you win brownie points. Like all games, they do nothing really, they just give you a smug feeling of what a great gamer you are.

[ThrashJazzAssassin]

In the future, one ex-security guard will control the world's entire supply of crowbars.

[Arius]

In some rooms, it is completely impossible to even throw a punch, no matter how much Otis pisses you off.

[Vilun]

When telling a story to a pretty girl you may sometimes tell her you died, before remembering you didn't.

[theDreamer]

No one is ever capable of saying your name. Instead, they just imply it when talking to you.

When talking to you, people always stare directly at you unnervingly.