Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

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Boofinka
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Boofinka » 19 Jan 2014, 04:10

Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:
r4v5 wrote:
Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:Prayer Warriors for Hope anyone?


There is no hope to be found here.


Prayer Warriors for Nope.

Yeah, that would be like Bizarro Desert Bus.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 19 Jan 2014, 04:29

I found it disturbing how militaristic the game was.
And I found it interesting how the easiest option to play the game was to not kill.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Elomin Sha » 20 Jan 2014, 07:54

What the HELL?

Alex and the helicopter.

I'm crying.

NOTHING IS REAL.

Help me.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby empath » 20 Jan 2014, 08:21

...I warned you. :P
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Foxmar » 20 Jan 2014, 09:17

We tried to warn you! Now the only thing you can do is inflict it on other people to lesson your pain.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 20 Jan 2014, 09:24

The game conflicts with Christianity on so many levels.
It conflicts with sanity on so many levels.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby empath » 20 Jan 2014, 11:33

"I don't think that's how salvation works, guys."

Kinda sums up the whole game.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby CrazyMax46 » 20 Jan 2014, 15:36

"I need bourbon."-Cameron Lauder.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby CrazyMax46 » 20 Jan 2014, 15:37

Watching it again. Alex losing it at the helicopter might be the funniest thing ever.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby empath » 20 Jan 2014, 18:38

The whole "Let's just run off the map into the ocean and die...oh wait, okay, let's run off the end of the ocean and die in 'red hell'...oh wait, let's run off the end of the second ocean...nope." segment made me genuinely wet myself, watching it again. Alex is just so...sincere in his "okay, we're just going to kill ourselves and finally find peace from this", and just keeps breaking as each suicide attempt is denied. :)

That, and I want a gif of just the three of them reacting to the first time Alex grabs the armor in "Club Pillz - no adults" and it warps them to the 'Hunter S. Thompson simulator' level around 27'35" (in the YouTube vid). All three of them going

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And then:

Graham:"...experiencing fear..."
Alex:"Cam...please tell me you're seeing the same thing I am."
Cam:"God, I hope not."
*unseen 'gorilla' attacks, changing angle of view*
Alex:"WHAT? NO! HOW DID IT GET WEIRDER? NO! HELP!!!"
*'gorilla' finishes off Alex's Prayer Warrior*
Cam:"Oh good, we're dead."

I think it's...safer to watch this as a recording, rather than take part in it LIVE as it was happening; maybe that's what damaged my psyche so much - I couldn't pause when I was reaching my limit and step back. :)
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby RedNightmare » 21 Jan 2014, 06:18

That was the most harowing thing I have ever seen. It was like watching a game being built in the Stone Age. I just...

I'm going to drink the beer in the fridge. And I hate beer. But it's the only way to know if I'm still alive!
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby empath » 21 Jan 2014, 07:19

I realized something a did a little math:

- a typical AAA game offers 20 hours of gameplay, and is priced at $60us.

20h / $60 = 0.333h/dollar

That comes to a 'value' of 20min of entertainment per dollar spent.

- Dark, that got a MetaCritic score of 41, and is objectively bad enough for a GPLP, cost $40us and is said to have around 10 hours of gameplay.

10h / $40 = 0.25h/dollar

That comes out to only fifteen minutes of 'entertainment' for each dollar you spend.

-but Prayer Warriors: All Out for God? It *seems* like it'd be a good deal, only costing $7us...until you realize that our LRL streamers went through this game from start to finish, with only one having watched a six-minute speedrun for advance knowledge, in just NINETY-ODD MINUTES, the 'value' sinks right through the floor.

1.5h / $7 = 0.21h/dollar

Or, almost thirteen minutes for each dollar you spend.


Ergo, Prayer Warriors:AOfG is a considerably unwise purchase, from a value standpoint. :P
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby mariomario42 » 21 Jan 2014, 07:37

empath wrote:- a typical AAA game offers 20 hours of gameplay, and is priced at $60us.

20h / $60 = 0.333h/dollar



triple A games these days have 20 hours of gameplay? Since when?
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 21 Jan 2014, 08:50

You forgot that none of us needs to buy Prayer Twats now.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby RedNightmare » 21 Jan 2014, 10:17

mariomario42 wrote:
empath wrote:- a typical AAA game offers 20 hours of gameplay, and is priced at $60us.

20h / $60 = 0.333h/dollar



triple A games these days have 20 hours of gameplay? Since when?
It is if you count the needlessly tacked on multiplayer.

Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:You forgot that none of us needs to buy Prayer Twats now.
In all honesty, did we need to before?
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Kapol » 21 Jan 2014, 10:43

mariomario42 wrote:triple A games these days have 20 hours of gameplay? Since when?


A lot of AAA games offer around 6-10 hours of gameplay if you do everything once, not including multiplayer (which a lot of multiplayer games fall towards the shorter end but offer more content for multiplayer). RPGs often run much longer unless you fast-track it.

But it's important to keep in mind what a AAA game is. I don't think that Dark would be a AAA game. More like a medium-budget game falling slightly more on the expensive end of the 'Indie to AAA' scale of games. one of the problems is that many gamers are still mostly trained to look at games as AAA or indie, with not much wiggle room in the middle.

Merrymaker_Mortalis wrote:You forgot that none of us needs to buy Prayer Twats now.


Let's be honest here. Before Alex played through it, how many of us had even heard that this game existed?
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Geoff_B » 21 Jan 2014, 12:55

That was amazing :D I was laughing so hard I was crying - both at the first Very Trippy part (Graham: "I'm feeling fear!") and the helicopter where all semblance of sanity vanishes :D

This might be my new most favourite LRR video in the world ever :D
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Preacher » 21 Jan 2014, 19:36

Sorry if this seems redundant but is this unholy abomination I have yet to watch called "Inflicting an awful game on Alex", because you people, if you can be called this because judging by the posts here you've all changed after watching this, have intrigued my curiosity

edit: Never mind, I found it. Dear god, I've found it.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby phlip » 21 Jan 2014, 19:38

I watched this live, and have watched the replay through again since, and I've been all over the game's website... and I still can't get past Poe's Law... I'm still not entirely sure either way whether the game is real or if it's intentionally bad (as Alex so masterfully put it, "Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: The Game").

On the one hand, many of the later levels (especially the penultimate level, with the break-dancing giant scorpion) are just ridiculous, and it's hard to picture anyone straight-up making them and think it was reasonable. The game starts at merely terrible, and then the bad-acid-trip ramps up over time, which is what you'd probably do if you were intentionally making a terrible game of this kind. On the other hand, that could also be a reasonable result if it were honest, with the earlier levels being more polished (the first level having a full fetch-quest setup) and later levels being more rushed and thrown-together (most being variations on run through the level and touch the exit).

Also, a number of the glitches are things which you probably wouldn't do intentionally, and feel like honest glitches... the time Alex lost control of his character after saving, that time when the aggro broke and none of the enemies moved, or the way the texture mapping broke when they task-switched away and back... these don't seem like things you'd do intentionally, and imply that the game is honestly shoddily-coded.

I... honestly don't know what to think.

[edit]
Also, it's understandable that they had so much trouble with the game, since they didn't have the full manual.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Foxmar » 21 Jan 2014, 23:39

I think this is the exact moment Graham gave up on humanity...
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby phlip » 24 Jan 2014, 20:59

While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.
but how about watch phone?

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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Foxmar » 24 Jan 2014, 21:52

phlip wrote:Well, that was fun.


WHAT?!
I love this :D
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby TimeLoss » 29 Jan 2014, 06:04

Well that... that is a new lifelong memory (nightmare?)

I remember once walking into one of those "stealth" christian bookstores. The kind that looks innocently like a regular bookstore from the outside. If I am not mistaken I saw this game in there, thinking at the time it was probably just a more modern Super 3D Noah's Ark. I mean how could a christian game be violent?

How little I knew... how I naive I once was to this world...
Huh, I forgot I made this account...
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 29 Jan 2014, 07:51

I guess we should remember the 100% in keeping with the whole not be evil Christian episode of the Holy War(s).

There have been violent Christians.
It seems they haven't gone away (pretending West Bros. doesn't exist).

Perhaps someone should make Super West Bros. Land WiiU.
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Re: Support group for people traumatized by prayer warriors.

Postby phlip » 06 Feb 2014, 06:04

(Saw this older post in the IDDQDerp thread, but figured I should probably post my reply over here since that thread has moved on to non-AOFG discussion, and I don't want to ruin that...)
Kapol wrote:As for the release, I saw a trailer on Youtube that had been released in 2009, so it's possible that's around the time the game came out. Here it is.

The earliest archive of theprayerwarriors.com on the Wayback Machine is from 2001. At that point they were charging $30 for it, and the news section says it was "Version 3.0", released in Nov 2000. My guess is the original release was probably 1997, and archive.org just didn't see the site for 3 more years.

Scrolling forward through time, the version number goes up... later versions allegedly added more levels, and the final version being sold by Family PC Games is version 5.01, which was originally released sometime in 2002 (which didn't stop them updating the copyright at the bottom of the page every year). Also moving forward through time, the price starts going up, to $30 and $40... before eventually plummeting back down to $19 when the site died.

Incidentally, it seems that Family PC Games aren't the original devs, just resellers, which is why their website seems to actually work. If you buy the game from them, I don't know how much of that $7 goes to the original PW dev, but they're essentially GOG for terrible fundie-Christian knockoffs.

As an aside, browsing around various versions of their site (it was rebuilt on many occasions, changing from one completely incomprehensible layout to another), I found a gem on this page which I'll post without comment:
2/1/2001-THEPRAYERWARRIORS-A.O.F.G. Mission1
wins 2nd place in international game competition. Thank God !
While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.
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