Forum Game: Your Debut Album

[Fenrir]

1. Northumberland National Park
2. Better understanding of ourselves.
3. http://www.flickr.com/photos/norbert1948/7168638452/

Hmm....I predict mixed reviews for this album...

[Kapol]

1. Elmont
2. Shots You Never Take.
3. http://www.flickr.com/photos/icedsoul/7164088666/

Gonna be the new breakout hit I tell ya!

[Keab42]

Psst. It's more fun if you throw them together in a photo editor.

[empath]

...heck, even M$-Paint...

[TomBrend]

1. Elmont
2. Shots You Never Take.
3. http://www.flickr.com/photos/icedsoul/7164088666/

Gonna be the new breakout hit I tell ya!

It's a 1200 CD set!

[Kapol]

1. Elmont
2. Shots You Never Take.
3. http://www.flickr.com/photos/icedsoul/7164088666/

Gonna be the new breakout hit I tell ya!

It's a 1200 CD set!

Well of course. The coverart alone spans 12 cases of 100 disks.

And I'm not gonna be a follower! I'm not gonna make an actual image, cause I'm cool like that...

Oh, and here.



It's Tiny here. >_> Working with such a giant image was hard.

[Under_Score]

Huh, apparently I had these made up but never got around to posting them.



The first is an ironically titled Grunge/Metal album design to prank those people who buy meditative ambiance albums.



It Doesn't Go Away is a return to the classic stylings of the 70s, blending the music techniques of Eric Clapton and Donna Summers.

[Thysane]

These turned out way better than I expected them to. I put way too much work into them The following come complete with vaguely pretentious write-ups, as is only fitting.


Xinmin is a Berlin-based synthesizer electroclash band, formed in 2002 by front-woman Cora Kempf along with keyboardist Steffi Schult and bassist Henning Baumbach. It Doesn't Lead Anywhere, their madcap debut album, was a riotous delve into the neon-drenched, multi-coloured world of Berlin nightlife, shot through with a few tracks that wouldn't be unwelcome at a laid-back summer beach party near Hamburg. Get beer, wear shades indoors and turn up the volume.


The happy-go-lucky title of Swedish jazz pianist Jakob Hallberg's debut album belies the cool, moody tones to be found within. The title track is a twenty-minute cascade of smooth riffs and walking lines you can nod your head to. The band rotates throughout, moving from big trad pieces to intimate, smoldering elegies. The legend on the inside of the cover invites the listener to "sink right in." Take its advice.

[meisbored]

I just found a folder full of these that I made 2 years ago for some other forum or something, can't remember. On seeing this thread, I assumed this was where I posted them, but it seems not. So here:

[Matt]

if you don't have a software photo editor available to you, use this:

http://pixlr.com/

-m

[Kapol]

We're, like, this totally deep and dark band. Nobody understands our pain and stuff. Our emo haircuts show the depths of a darkness that is our soul.

[Matt]

-m

[Drdiggit42]

I screwed up the quote was supposed to be "Trying to please everybody"

[empath]

Thanks for the advice, Matt - that thing's nice and simple! And the original rules seemed to work just fine for me this time (right down to the pic-owner having a CC license that permitted downloading.)




Trent Mastersen of The Tahlequah Broadsheet has this to say about the new material brought forth by the classical-orchestral experiment, Ljubljana Botanical Garden:

Pretentious and condescending in its innumerable 'musical allusions to' (read "plagarism of") famous classical 'pops' pieces.

Gina Berhoven of der Woche refused to review the work, as did Nigel Locke of The Praetorian.

We're not sure what Emily Green of The Fargo Dispatch felt about the album, because her only reply during a phone conversation was unceasing laughter that was only terminated by us hanging up.

...but WE like what we did. Mostly.

[Kapol]

[Utilitarian]

I am not good at fonts... still pretty happy with it though. I've decided that Theodotus Hemiolius must have been reincarnated as a Jazz singer.

[Jamfalcon]

Well, I was bored and tried to decide my hand at some of these.

1st Airmobile Division (Ukraine)'s debut album, Eyes, Not Your Ears, was an experiment in the most extreme reaches of musical pioneersmanship. Transcending the normal musical boundaries, it was not an album of sounds, but of audible images. Unfortunately for the band, their album artist captured the spirit of the album all too well — while a select few might enjoy it, for most it is an unfocused mess. 2.5/10


The Shrove Tuesday Football Ceremony of the Purbeck Marblers returns with what can at best be described as a safe album in An Adventure Wrongly Considered. In their normal glam/funk style, they explore the deeper implications of the socio-political climate of South America, and how the worldwide demand for coffee beans has affect the life of its citizens. While the music is catchy, lyrically it seems that TSTFCotPM could have delved deeper into the themes, as the album's four hours barely seems to scratch the surface. 2/10


If you thought Merperson was trying to tell you that their newest album was going to be a sleeper hit by putting a bed on the cover of their latest album, Of Confidence and Hunger, you couldn't have guessed anything more wrong. This album is sure to be a worldwide bestseller, remembered fondly for decades in the same way as The Beatle's groundbreaking Abbey Road, Fleetwood Mac's universally acclaimed Rumours, and whatever album The Final Countdown was from. This prog-rock epic tells the story of flugelhornest/singer Sir John Merperson's incredibly fortunate and well-adjusted upbringing through a series of complex analogies to a post apocalyptic world where snorkeling is banned. The album starts with a chilling twenty-nine minute instrumental that travels the path between classical and so ridiculously excessive that you could never hope to hum it, which is a surefire radio hit ready to happen. I would recommend this album to anyone with ears. In fact, even if you don't have ears, not owning this album will increase the teasing you're already used to by tenfold, so I'd suggest you get it anyway. ∞/10

(Wow, those covers got significantly better as I went on. Not sure about the descriptions though )

[empath]

I am not good at fonts... still pretty happy with it though. I've decided that Theodotus Hemiolius must have been reincarnated as a Jazz singer.

{something that I'd expect to see in a music store, I swear}

That is PERFECT, Util! Just the right 'feel' to the picture, along with an apt font for the 'jazz' style you're going for, and the quote-end works right into the same vein!

Well, I was bored and tried to decide my hand at some of these.

{1st Air/Div(Ukr)/Eyes-not-ears}

Nice; the pic is okay, the work up is good, but the 'review'?


{TSTFCotPM/Adv-wr-consider}

Now with this one, the pic is really nice and seems apt for album art, the composition onto it is pretty good but needs a certain je ne sais quoi, and the 'review' is believable and seemingly straight...until the close.


{Merp/Of-conf&hung}

Yeah, the art is good, the 'augmentation' is REALLY good with this one, and the 'review' made my cheeks hurt.

[Utilitarian]

Aww shucks, thanks ^_^ Perhaps I'll do another, though I don't know if I can possibly run into such a good combination of title/album/pick again *L*

[empath]

Oh, give it a few tries - often you'll see results that are merely 'okay', but sometimes the best ones are the really odd combos (even if just for the humour factor ).



...and, because I can't leave well enough alone:

Poland is the place.
A new vocalist from that country has released an album of rather poignant ballads. Stary Dwór, an 'stage name' apparently of the young woman's home town, has written, arranged and performed a dozen instances of heartrending emotion and sound.
Her voice is mellifluous and melodic, lilting just so, and triggering wistful memories in the listener. All without the aid of the songs' lyrics - for this humble reviewer does not understand Polish.
The thirteenth track is a cover of the well-known Anka tune "My Way", sung in English. This seems to be Stary Dwór's unlucky number, for while she instills the song with plenty of passion, her loose grasp of the English language breaks the mood she is attempting to instill in her audience.
Apart from this one flub, the album is a consistently satisfying experience that transcends mere language and overt communication - this woman's music delivers its message directly through your heart.
(3-1/2 out of 4)

[Jamfalcon]

Glad you liked them Empath

Since I didn't waste enough time on this, I made another three late last night, but didn't have time to post them:

Psychoactive Drug, everyone's favourite retro-psychedelic quintet is back with what's sure to be their biggest album yet, Needs a Decoder Ring. The upbeat songs are catchy, and sure to be finding their places on iPods of aging hippies everywhere.
While the band has been criticized in the past for their straightforward, simplistic writing style, they've thrown that all away for this album. The title is not a metaphor — this album actually requires a decoder ring to be understood. All songs are sung in complex code, and without purchasing the band's custom made ring (retailing for $29.99) you won't be able understand the band's endorsement of a variety of substances as methods to fight off dementia, arthritis, and other ailments.
7/10


He was Merely Stupid is an album sure to upset most, if not all, fans of heavy metal band Bear Lane. Rather than the group's signature growling, the lyrics this time have been ran through computers, creating an almost unearthly sound.
Musically, however, this is very much what you will have come to expect from Bear Lane. Screeching strings, pounding percussion, and ominous chanting. The fact that this group is still able to produce this quality of head-banging noise after decades says a lot about their versatility. Even if this will be a divisive, there's no question that few musicians can match Bear Lane at what they do, and even their detractors must admit that they are the pinnacle of ursine composers.
8.5/10


After capturing the world's attention with his hit YouTube music video, Hercules Collins has made his debut in the physical world with Beauty, Power, and Necessity. In his traditional style, Hercules constructed everything about this album from scratch — his instruments are handmade, his recording studio is made from salvaged parts, and, most amazingly of all, every single CD is handmade by the man himself.
But what about the music itself? It is certainly interesting, but unfortunately Mr. Collins' craftsmanship does not carry over to his skills with music. Without the benefit of an elaborate video to distract us, his music is just plain awful. I didn't believe it either, but just listen to some of it with your eyes covered. Amazing isn't it? It sounds like someone beating an alpaca to death with a duck full of forks inside your head. With any other album, I would listen to it several times over before writing my opinion, but I'm just forcing myself through the second song as I write these words. I cannot say this any clearer: do no b
Editors note: this review remains unfinished due to the untimely death of Mr. Reviewerstontownshireingtonsworth. It appears he was listening to a CD when it exploded, killing him instantly. As is this publication's policy, his uncompleted review will be appended with a score of 10/10.



(Huh, that got dark. Really proud of that last album cover though.)

Edit: I accidentally a few words.

[Utilitarian]

I have no idea what kind of band this one is... I think the lead has to be female though

[empath]

U, you seem to have a lot of luck with the quote and wiki title working well together...

...you got any ideas on lottery numbers you might wanna share?

[Utilitarian]

U, you seem to have a lot of luck with the quote and wiki title working well together...

...you got any ideas on lottery numbers you might wanna share?

Sorry, I only buy one ticket a year and I deliberately always get random numbers so I never have to worry about having "my" numbers come up when I haven't gotten one -_^

[Keab42]

This one came out sounding like a headline rather than a band and album: