06 - Criminals and Lawyers

News, with silly hats.
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Kathleen
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06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Kathleen » 29 Jun 2011, 08:47

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/ ... ls-Lawyers
What we can learn from this is that I should not go into law.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby andy25100 » 29 Jun 2011, 08:59

Kathleen wrote:What we can learn from this is that I should not go into law.


Also not to plan wedding's
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General Michi
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby General Michi » 29 Jun 2011, 09:44

During the Magneto part Paul said, verbatim, everything I was thinking.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Tapir12 » 29 Jun 2011, 10:01

I said dump :oops:
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Lord Carol » 29 Jun 2011, 10:12

I didn't say dump, but I am called Chris. It still freaked me out... those eyes!
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby JenSev » 29 Jun 2011, 10:58

If you want one of those studded leather caps, I live close to Amsterdam, I'm sure they have those there and probably all sorts of other strange and awesome hats.

I could send you some if you like.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby noy2222 » 29 Jun 2011, 11:31

I've had to do some research on this dog story and it seems very unlikely to be true.
All sources that remain online in Israeli sites are from non serious news sites and forums, apparently at least one news site posted an apology a few days after reporting it and then took both the original story and the apology down.

Also http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/birdrice.asp

Conclusion: the only reliable news source is the Village People.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Master Gunner » 29 Jun 2011, 11:36

The BBC had a story on it (Elomin started a thread about it with a BBC link), but that page appears to have gone away too.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby DarkMorford » 29 Jun 2011, 11:53

I am not a Chris. You will never know whether or not I said "Dump!" BWAHAHAHAhahaha... *ahem*

Kathleen has every right to refer to herself as "delicious and hot" if she chooses to. You go, girl!

I felt that the Magneto discussion between Paul and Kathleen ran a little long. Maybe it was a slow news week and they needed to fill time, but I think cutting a bit off that conversation and putting in another quick story would have been funnier.

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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Geoff_B » 29 Jun 2011, 13:23

Seriously? Graham didn't know rabbinical? :O I would have thought that came up during the password-to-apartment period :D
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby thunderkatz » 29 Jun 2011, 14:01

I had to actually pause the video after seeing the quick cut of douchebag-Paul because I was laughing so hard. No offense meant to Paul - it's because you pulled it off so well that I found it so hilarious.

And awesome pre-end-credits closer.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby JackSlack » 29 Jun 2011, 14:21

Where there is Feed, there will be Dump, and where there is a confluence of Feed and Dump, there will be hatistics.

First, we here at Action 9 news did discover some errors in our basic hat counting from last week. Apparently not all shots were counted in our tallies. (Which is different from our Tallys, which we always count very highly.) This has been corrected, and we invite all those affected to shove it up their ass. Seriously, come on, whatcha got? I got a Degree in Hatistics from the Otago Higher Hat Accounting Institute and a sweet job at Action 9 news! You can't step to me, ya punks!

Ahem. I have been informed by management that in fact, we invite no such thing, and do in fact apologize. Also to note I do not, in fact, have a Degree in Hatistics, and there is no Otago Higher Hat Accounting Institute.

And now, the Hatistics.

While today saw a drop in the haturation count, it still is panicking investors who believe it shows an overall hatward trend. To explain this, let's take a look at a six week period of haturation.

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As we can see, this week's 15% is only the third highest, but it is however the highest recorded haturation not to feature Alex. Coming off last week, where only emergency injection of Kathleen and Paul prevented higher haturation, it's clear the market is preparing for a hat tipping point.

Now the shot by shot.

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As we can see, this week reversed the Hatless-Hat-Prescription Eyewear singularity that last week's data promised, thereby disappointing millions of the Church of HatlessHatSpectacles who hoped for salvation in the oncoming HatlessHatSpectaclesocalypse. Instead, we all get to live another day on fat Action 9 news salaries and champagne caviar parties at my place ladies see you there. No headwear was slightly down, hats sharply down, prescription eyewear sharply up. Another nice sign was the slight rise in the other eyewear category, delighting the dozens of investors there. Good work, you merry gentlemen.

That's all from me for this week, rest assured, I will always have the latest limos here I gotta go.

ps. GREAT episode guys. Maybe my favourite yet. God, Kathleen on Feed Dump is always good.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Geoff_B » 29 Jun 2011, 14:25

perhaps you should also produce graphs on the number of hatistic graphs you have produced? :D
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby ebMusicMan » 29 Jun 2011, 14:25

I'm curious as to how the last shot was recorded. The potential for one hat being fulfilled with three hats in actuality seems to bring up a shampoo type 2-in-1 argument.

Also "Mutants gotta mute" lolololol
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby LogicSword » 29 Jun 2011, 15:11

I love Kathleen on Feed Dump. She's always hilarious.

JackSlack wrote:-snip-


Pretty much the only reason I read these threads is for your haturation counts. Thank you.

Also, what did you count the triple hat at the end as? Was it three times as much, or did it just count as one?
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Duckay » 29 Jun 2011, 15:24

Well, it was only one shot containing hats. It just happened to contain a vast quantity of hat. Perhaps we need some new marker for what to do in the event of multiple hats.

The Magneto thing went on quite a while, but I didn't really mind because I was just laughing so hard at Paul and Kathleen.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Kathleen » 29 Jun 2011, 15:30

JackSlack wrote:Where there is Feed, there will be Dump, and where there is a confluence of Feed and Dump, there will be hatistics.

First, we here at Action 9 news did discover some errors in our basic hat counting from last week. Apparently not all shots were counted in our tallies. (Which is different from our Tallys, which we always count very highly.) This has been corrected, and we invite all those affected to shove it up their ass. Seriously, come on, whatcha got? I got a Degree in Hatistics from the Otago Higher Hat Accounting Institute and a sweet job at Action 9 news! You can't step to me, ya punks!

Ahem. I have been informed by management that in fact, we invite no such thing, and do in fact apologize. Also to note I do not, in fact, have a Degree in Hatistics, and there is no Otago Higher Hat Accounting Institute.

And now, the Hatistics.

While today saw a drop in the haturation count, it still is panicking investors who believe it shows an overall hatward trend. To explain this, let's take a look at a six week period of haturation.

Image

As we can see, this week's 15% is only the third highest, but it is however the highest recorded haturation not to feature Alex. Coming off last week, where only emergency injection of Kathleen and Paul prevented higher haturation, it's clear the market is preparing for a hat tipping point.

Now the shot by shot.

Image

As we can see, this week reversed the Hatless-Hat-Prescription Eyewear singularity that last week's data promised, thereby disappointing millions of the Church of HatlessHatSpectacles who hoped for salvation in the oncoming HatlessHatSpectaclesocalypse. Instead, we all get to live another day on fat Action 9 news salaries and champagne caviar parties at my place ladies see you there. No headwear was slightly down, hats sharply down, prescription eyewear sharply up. Another nice sign was the slight rise in the other eyewear category, delighting the dozens of investors there. Good work, you merry gentlemen.

That's all from me for this week, rest assured, I will always have the latest limos here I gotta go.

ps. GREAT episode guys. Maybe my favourite yet. God, Kathleen on Feed Dump is always good.


HOLY SHIT IF THERE WERE INTERNET OSCARS FOR OUTSTANDING POSTMANSHIP THIS WOULD WIN ALL OF THEM FOREVER.

*ahem*

Sorry. That was amazing. Carry on.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Garfman » 29 Jun 2011, 15:30

Yeah, I was wondering if the hat statistics would be able to handle multi-hat-shots.

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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 29 Jun 2011, 15:31

Magneto is a survivor of the Holocaust. Odd bit of trivia I know, but it's sort of an odd thing to come out of and then immediately contemplate genocide of people who don't necessarily share any physical trait at all but who are for whatever reason not able to lift a car or fly or read minds etc.

Also, you enjoyed breast milk twenty-odd years ago, was good enough for you then! :P
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Flewellyn » 29 Jun 2011, 15:36

This was a good Deed Fump this week, but I must take issue with one part of the introductions: Kathleen misspoke the second time. She is, indeed, delicious and also hot.

Also, that Hatistics post was hilarious. HILARIOUS, I tell you!
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Master Gunner » 29 Jun 2011, 16:11

Movie-verse's Magneto's motivations were well explained in First Class. It started just as revenge, then into pre-emptive strikes when he saw that humanity would just repeat what had happened during the holocaust, against the mutants. As he and they can fight back this time, they will. He hardly immediately contemplated it, only when he came to believe that there was no other way for mutants to survive.

As to the motivations of the various comic-verse incarnations, I have no idea.


On the topic of hatistics: I approve to a...rather embarrassing degree.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby WAYF » 29 Jun 2011, 16:26

Kathleen wrote:"I'm delicious and also on fire!"

:D :D :D


The news was actually flat-out strange this week. I mean, a lot stranger than usual. I'm thinking Phailhaüs 06 level weird (the one with the "rape... over the phone" story)
Last edited by WAYF on 01 Jul 2011, 01:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby JackSlack » 29 Jun 2011, 17:04

I am blushing. Blushing, you guys. I had a horrible day yesterday, slept really poorly due to nervousness about a host of issues, and you guys just picked me right up. Thank you.

Now if only I could be that funny when I'm not sleep deprived. :)

Also, fodder for next week: "Love is in the air at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York. More than 150 turtles crossed over an active runway and disrupted air traffic on Wednesday so that they could continue their mating season." Via Boing Boing.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby Valliac » 29 Jun 2011, 17:20

The face that Kathleen made after the breast milk story had me laughing. That was the EXACT face I made when you mentioned the story itself.

Then bam. Translated to screen.
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Re: 06 - Criminals and Lawyers

Postby MowDownJoe » 29 Jun 2011, 19:09

"...No."

It's little things like that which get me laughing the most. You know Kathleen had something to say, but just didn't want to spit it out.
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