So that just happened (funny MTG stories)

[Lord Hosk]

I had a Crocanura down with one counter on it.

My opponent was at 11 life.

I attacked with the crocanura, he Orzov charmed it.

In response I cast the titanic growth and giant growth I was going to cast anyways.

That made it a 9/11,

He said "huh... I umm, yeah"

The charm resolved killing the Croc dealing damage equal to its toughness to my opponent which killed him.

[ArchieO]

I was playing a game of commander and I draining whelked a storm herd, my opponent decided to concede at that point.

[Jenelmo]

I was playing a game of commander and a player played storm herd, another player twincast'ed it, and i was sitting with one card in hand Massacre Wurm

[Lord Hosk]

I was playing a GBR deck based on a First pick Exava second pick Varolz. I got a Raktos charm something like 11th and 14th pick. I lost game one to about a bazillion bird tokens he kept foging and populating chump blockers as he built up a board I couldnt attack into. so I sided in the charms and figured this will be a cute win.

He had 9 guys on board and 8 life, I had 5 guys on board and 4 life. so I did it. (draw)

0-1-1

game two, I did it again

0-1-2

he timed out I won a Mtgo 8-4 second round 2-1-2

I could have won game 3 but he was on 3 minutes and I was on 9 so I played a extra creature and and "missed" a block. I knew either way I would get the match win so I thought a second draw would be cuter.

[Duckay]

I learned a lesson about making sure you remember exactly what cards do recently.

That sounds silly, like why would you not pay attention to what different cards do? But I've gotten into this mental shorthand of Skullcrack = 3 damage, prevent lifegain. So when I swing for near-lethal damage and my opponent plays Druid's Deliverance, I start doing quick combat math trying to figure out how I can pull the game out of my ass. I then look at my hand and actually read Skullcrack.

Near miss, there. I felt very silly afterwards.

[korvys]

Look at the cards.

[Duckay]

I'm not sure what your point here is. Of course I should (and everyone should) look at the cards. It was a funny anecdote about how I nearly misplayed because I didn't think about the effect of a card because I got into the very bad habit of using mental shorthand for the card. I realize it was a stupid thing for me to do. That's why it was funny, because it was so obvious.

[Lurkon]

He's just quoting Graham. Do you watch the magic streams? Look at the cards is kind of a meme there.

[korvys]

It was a joke, no offense meant :S

When you "grind" someone in MTGO, it tells you "Look at the cards."

It's also the current LRR button: If you order from Card Kingdom, and tell them "LRR sent me, button please" they'll send you a button that says "Look at the cards."

[Duckay]

He's just quoting Graham. Do you watch the magic streams? Look at the cards is kind of a meme there.

I only watch the comedy drafts on MTGO Academy (and then only intermittently), so I didn't register that. I'm sorry, I was confused!

[phlip]

Specifically, in MtGO, any effect that says to "reveal" a large number of cards, will pop up in a little window, prompt you to look at them, you hit OK, and then it goes away. (This is as opposed to things that reveal a certain number of cards, usually just one, which go into the "revealed" pseudo-zone, and stay there as the game continues until you hide them).

Normally the prompt says what you're looking at... like, if you cast Gitaxian Probe it'll say "Look at <whoever>'s hand."... but for grind effects, it's revealing a bunch of cards in a temporary anonymous zone from the top of their library, so it doesn't have a name, and it just says "Look at the cards." Which is pretty silly, as imperatives go, so Graham mocks it whenever it comes up on the Twitch stream. In a voice that puts me in the mind of a grizzled '70s private eye shining a desk lamp in the perp's eyes and insisting that he (a) admit to the crime, and (b) look at these cards that are about to go into the graveyard.

Using the phrase as a reminder to RTFC whenever Graham/whoever messes up on stream for not recognising some effect or interaction is a variation of the injoke.

[Myrph]

As a student, I rarely have the money to keep up with standard, so rather than drafting with the main group of MTGers at uni, I tend to hang with the group who play casual vintage. About half the group are alumni, one of whom has been collecting hardcore for the at least 15 years, and has built numerous decks through out the years, and which he regularly updates and expands with newer cards, and each week brings a dozen or so to play and let others play with.

It also means he's got a bunch of ridiculous combo decks which have been artfully crafted to suddenly and without warning explode and win the game. A couple of weeks ago he brought four of these decks, each crafted around a different card; Dragonstorm, High Tide, Goblin Charbelcher and The Cheese Stands Alone.

Playing the four decks against each other was highly entertaining and remarkably well balanced against each other. The Cheese managed to win its first couple of games, with Dragonstorm and High Tide each winning subsequent games. The Charbelcher was incredibly efficient at eradicating players one at a time, but which only usually served to expedite the victory of one of the other decks.

Was enormous fun and I rather hope I get some more opportunities to go play with that bunch more come autumn.

[Drecon]

I've just had one of the weirdest drafts of my life. I had drafted a very controlling Dimir deck, splashing for a Master Biomancer.

First match I ran into a super-aggressive Boros deck that didn't quite come together. I beat it rather easily.

Then the second match, this happened:



My opponent got out Assemble the Legion, I got out Haunter of Nightveil and I eventually killed him with Duskmantle Guildmage and Hired Torturer...

...

And the finals were just as bizarre. Last game I got into a situation where he had a Master of Cruelties and a Consuming Abberration. Luckily I had a Hired Torturer that got him down pretty low and the race got pretty tight.

A card of note I had in play at the time was Notion Thief. It seemed to work pretty well, but then my opponent cast Blast of Genius, forcing me to draw three cards...
The he cast another Blast of Genius, forcing me to draw another three cards, milling me to death... while on 1 life, facing a hired torturer!!!

Seriously, this must've been my weirdest draft ever.

[Lord Hosk]

I was waiting for you to say, and then he played a overloaded dynacharge and you cried.

[Kapol]

If you didn't see the latest stream, go watch the latest stream. One of the best moments at the end of it. Better, in my opinion, than the lych doll combo.

[Lord Hosk]

there are 261 7 drops, one of you math types tell us, what are the odds of getting a platinum angel first, and then a phage?

[Kapol]

Wouldn't that be a 1/68,121 chance of that happening? Considering both are 261, and you have roughly a 1/261 chance to get either, I think that's right.

[Lord Hosk]

I would think it would have to be even less likely because you have to get the angel first.

[phlip]

That's the chance of getting those particular pulls in order in two particular Momir activations... but each player activates Momir maybe 10 times on average over the course of a Phlottery game (number entirely guessed, but seems reasonable - it takes 7 activations before you start attacking, and then after that the game usually ends pretty decisively one way or the other... sometimes the dust settles and both players have to rebuild, but that's rarer I think).

The chance of pulling two particular 7-drops, in the right order, in 10 goes is 1/261 * 1/261 * 10C2. That's the chance for a particular player to get it, so (approximately) double that for both players... the combo should happen one in every 378 games. Note that this is not considering more complicated interactions like I get Platinum Angel, you get Luminate Primordial and exile my angel, I get Phage... you get Platinum Angel, I get Memnarch and steal it, I get Phage... stuff like that. But that has to be a negligible effect (requiring three cards in the right order, not just two).

[Drecon]

I was waiting for you to say, and then he played a overloaded dynacharge and you cried.

Yeah, I was actually kind of scared of that card. Luckily he didn't have it.

[Lancer]

FNM two weeks ago, things went pretty darn well. Playing an Izzet evasion deck (think Nivix Cylops combo except it doesn't rely solely on the cyclopses) 2-1 going into round four, which was my first time achieving that feat. I was hoping to go 3-1 so I could get an extra pack, again, something I had never done before. I wind up going against a Naya midrange deck. I got a bit scared when the Voice of Resurgence hit the field but I figured I could get around it and still pummel him. Sadly, things don't go that well for me and I wind up running out of creatures while he hits me hard.

Round 2, he laughs a bit as he makes his sideboard. He laughs a bit more when he draws his hand. A bit scary, but oh well. Turn three I get out a cyclops, but fail to draw a land on turn four. Still, I swing at him for 16 points of damage turn four by casting artful dodge and armed, figured I'd be good... nope. Selesnia charm. I had to do a double take because GW-removal... wat. I figure I can pull up though. I get a guttersnipe out the next turn, pass, and then he gets to show me his sideboard as he casts Ruric Thar.

... Shit. I literally have no way of dealing with that unless I get lucky enough to pull a turn-and-burn, and even then I have no creatures out since he used a fight ability to kill my guttersnipe right away. All of my creatures need instants or sorceries to deal damage so that's that.

Guy was nice though, tossed me the commons/uncommons from at least one of the packs (I forget if it was one or all of them) after he pulled out the rares, I got a Sin Collector from that so that works out.

TL;DR: I can now say I've been sideboard-hated.

[phlip]

Drafted Izzet tonight for our final DGM draft... kinda forced into it since picks 2, 4, and 5 were all Turn // Burn (and pick 3 was Nivix Cyclops). I was unsure of my deck while I was building it, but it turned out to be pretty sweet (most of the time... also pretty variable), and went 3-1. Biggest blowout: overload Dragonshift, attack, he plays Riot Control. I did get to attack with a Hover Barrier and Clinging Anemones that turn though, so got to tick off those achievements.

One turn, though... I have a defender, Nivix Guildmage, and a pair of beefy attackers. My opponent has detained my big attackers with Archon of the Triumvirate, and crashed in with everything... now has no blockers and and no cards, we're both at 6. I'm thinking what my outs are... main one is if I get Turn // Burn, I can cast it, copy it twice with Guildmage, and burn him out for 6. I draw, it's blank, but I loot with the Guildmage, and I get Turn // Burn. Except I only have 3 mountains - one tapped from the loot, so I can only play Burn and copy it once... not enough to kill him. I also don't have enough mana to fuse it and copy it, and take out two of his guys. So I'm thinking through all the combinations, trying to figure out whether I can actually win this turn, or if I need to blow this burn spell to take out Archon, to survive another turn. Or if I can survive without casting it, so I can untap and win. It's a shame both of my attackers are detained, I'm just left with these two defende... wait. Duh. And so, after about a minute of thinking, I attack with the Guildmage for two, Burn him, copy once, for the win. It really did take me that long to remember that the Guildmage can actually attack.

Also, final game I was at 4 with a bunch of defenders (and my Dragonshift already spent) and my opponent at 32 (thanks to a Crypt Incursion gaining him 18) and a set of big beefy dudes, and I managed to stabilise, kill all his guys, attrition him out with guildmage loots while he kept drawing land, and win. That was less a "funny story" though, and more just "never give up, never surrender".

The round loss was due to me in game one seeing: 7 cards 1 land, 6 cards no land, 5 cards no land, keeping Island, Island, Mountain, Izzet Guildgate. And actually did pretty well, but didn't quite make it there. And then going to time in game 2 (which would have been close if it had been able to finish, but I think I could have gotten there).

[ZePancakes]

Blownout by Mizzium Skin, hurts bad man.

[Lord Hosk]

Also, final game I was at 4 with a bunch of defenders (and my Dragonshift already spent) and my opponent at 32 (thanks to a Crypt Incursion gaining him 18) and a set of big beefy dudes, and I managed to stabilise, kill all his guys, attrition him out with guildmage loots while he kept drawing land, and win. That was less a "funny story" though, and more just "never give up, never surrender".

last night on Numotthenummys' stream, he had a guy to 3 life while he was at 20, his opponent held on, extorted and life linked back and won -3 to 31

Never give up never surrender.

[Lord Hosk]

Today in two headed giant prerelease.

I got a spormound down turn 3 with some elf and sliver support. Turn 4 I got another one down. Turn 5 I played Strionic Resonator then played a land, and tapped it gaining three saporlings.

26 turns later I had 36 Saporlings plus 8 other creatures and we go to turns, I had played Path of Bravery eariler opponent one Solemn Offeringed it so it was in the graveyard.

Turn one, we draw, we each play some creature and pass

Turn two, they draw, they pass

Turn three we draw, I get Auramancer, I play it, I get the Path, I play it, Opponent two naturalizes it.

Turn four, they draw, they pass in responce my partner taps their flyers with Air Servant.

Turn five we draw. My partner plays Disperse and Frost breath, I draw but dont show my partner, MY OTHER MOTHER F*ING AURAMANCER! Play it, Play path, Swing with more than 40 creatures, our life jumps from 23 to over 60... My saporlings become 2/2's

The judge high fives me, the opponents high five me, my partner is catatonic because I didnt show him. They start to assign blockers just to make sure, They have 11 total creatures left to block and 41 life, with a perfect block, they go to like -20.

Opponent two, well then, "I wish I would have had (pause) WAIT show me your hand!"

Opponent 1 cast Opportunity on opponent two.

Opponent two taps one green and turns over the first card, Forest... Some creature, fog...

I say "So that just happened"

My partner facepalms, the judge is speechless, the store owner stares in awe, the 12 other players in the tournament who are now hanging around watching the table are in states of ecstasy or disbelief as they explain what just happened to each other.


I think I have to retire from magic now, nothing that awesome can ever happen again.