New D&D Character

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KiteNeravar
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New D&D Character

Postby KiteNeravar » 05 Nov 2013, 16:53

Working on a new D&D Character wanted to see what people thought would be better
This is a rough draft just getting thoughts onto "paper"
-Steve is not the characters final name just needed something to avoid confusion-

Hellbred - Click to Expand
Magic-Blooded Hellbred Dread Necromancer
Steve was raised in a community of outcasts living in the forest constantly hounded by the army of the lord whose lands they hide on. The day Steve crossed into adulthood His parents, the leaders of the group, decided it was time to fight back. The king himself rode into battle with his army against them. Steve slew many enemy soldiers until he came face to face with the King's son. After a long fight Steve finally got the upper hand and ended the Prince's life. Proud of his accomplishment Steve scanned the battlefield for his father, who he saw engaging the king in a duel. When it looked like his father was about to deal a fatal blow the king raised his hand and unleashed a torrent of magic killing Steve's father. In a fit of distressed rage Steve charge the king, who cut him down with a flick of his wrist. In Steve's final moments before death he was granted a vision of the past.
Steve's father and the king were playing as children, brothers. As they reached maturity Steve's father grew concerned that his brother, having just married a sorceress, was being led astray by magic and was unfit to rule the kingdom after their father's passing. When he brought his concerns to their father, the then king, they argued resulting in Steve's father murdering the king in the heat of the moment. Convinced that his brother and sister-in-law had used magic on him to do his dirty work, he broke into their chambers, murder the nursemaid and stole their newborn son, Steve.
With this revelation Steve realized that, not only did he take many good innocent lives, but he also killed his own brother. Despaired Steve begged the gods for forgiveness. The gods heard his plea but not before Steve spent some time in the hells. Soon Steve awoke on the same battlefield where he fell only with a new vision, he must prove that he is truly good and worthy of ascending to the celestial plane, or he will spend eternity in hell. As a mark of his sins his skin was a dark red and the only connection to his previous existence was his one dark blue eye and one amber eye, a sign of his Magic-Blooded heritage.
Steve vowed that he would never return to the hells and if he would be incapable of the seemingly imposable task of proving his worth to the gods, then he would ensure that he never died.


That took a whole lot longer to type than I thought, so this next one will be shorter for now
Spellscale - Click to Expand
Magic-Blooded Spellscale Dread Necromancer
Steve grew up in a commune of sorcerers as the only Spellscale, a miracle of birth from two human parents with shinning blue scales and when ever he started to get excited tiny motes of light seemed to shift around his body, a sign of his great magical heritage. After a long day of playing adventure with the other children Steve climbed to the top of the communes windmill to indulge his interest in observing how others go about their daily lives. Losing track of time Steve fell asleep on the windmill only to be woken by the sounds of battle. A group of Magehunters had raided the commune to exterminate what the felt to be a plague of vermin. Scared by the carnage he observed and the hatred that spewed from the mouths of the Magehunters Steve became convinced that noone else would understand or accept him, turning to Necromancy as a way to ensure that he was never alone again.


Let me know what you think. Any suggestions or criticism would be appreciated.
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Drecon
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Re: New D&D Character

Postby Drecon » 06 Nov 2013, 01:15

I really like the first one. It shows a lot of back story with awesomeness, without your character already being the ultimate badass from the start (a trap that many people seem to fall in).
As for length, I wouldn't worry too much. My back stories tend to be at least 1 page in length, at which point I usually stop to be kind to my DM.

The second is cool too, but seems a lot harder to fit into a party. Loners don't tend to be good team mates. Necromancers usually don't do too well either.
Besides, I like the first back story a lot more.
"if it ain't shiny, rub it on your hiney"
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KiteNeravar
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 Oct 2012, 17:34
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Re: New D&D Character

Postby KiteNeravar » 06 Nov 2013, 08:14

Yeah I like the first one better to. I also feel it helps explain why an evil, or at best neutral character would be willing to adventure with good characters and even why they would be willing to allow him to travel with them
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KiteNeravar
Posts: 334
Joined: 24 Oct 2012, 17:34
First Video: Assassin Creeds
Location: Springfield, MA

Re: New D&D Character

Postby KiteNeravar » 12 Nov 2013, 10:07

So when my character becomes a Lich (Class feature) I need a good place to hide the phylactery. I was thinking
Click to Expand
In a Great Wyrm Dragons lair beneath his mountains and lakes of treasure is a hidden secret door the key to the door is a single enchanted gold piece amount the dragons hoard. Through this door is an underground labyrinth populated by hordes of mindless uncontrolled undead and various constructs. Hidden throughout the labyrinth are several small boxes each one enchanted so that who ever touches it is instantly transported to the outside of the mountain. Inside one if these boxes is the phylactery
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DJ Spacepirate
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Re: New D&D Character

Postby DJ Spacepirate » 21 Nov 2013, 21:10

I've always thought it cool that a lich's phylactery should be stashed somewhere of significance to the individual. I mean, it's yer soul after all, you wouldn't just drop it in the ocean or blast it into space, you also wouldn't necessarily trust it to anyone else's keeping. Therefore if you're gonna hide it in a labyrinth dungeon (as is appropriate I believe, given typical lichy paranoia), then make that doom-tomb be under your home-town or some such thing. Having that last shred of your past humanity dangling off your desiccated skull makes your unspeakable transformation all the more poignant IMO.
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