Shit Magic Players Say

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Graham
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Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Graham » 06 Feb 2012, 12:14

We decided to do an extended cut, and shot more while filming the main video.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby plummeting_sloth » 06 Feb 2012, 15:08

I wonder if I can make a bingo chart of these for the next live draft you guys stream...
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby phlip » 06 Feb 2012, 16:33

I've never understood the "dies to removal" comment... do these people just run decks with purely hexproof indestructable creatures? And a set of Witchbane Orbs so they can't be forced to sac creatures either?
While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Avistew » 06 Feb 2012, 17:18

phlip wrote:I've never understood the "dies to removal" comment... do these people just run decks with purely hexproof indestructible creatures? And a set of Witchbane Orbs so they can't be forced to sac creatures either?


Haven't watched the video yet, but Sean has a deck like that.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Graham » 06 Feb 2012, 22:54

phlip wrote:I've never understood the "dies to removal" comment... do these people just run decks with purely hexproof indestructable creatures? And a set of Witchbane Orbs so they can't be forced to sac creatures either?
It's my least favorite piece of MtG criticism.

It's like... yes. Of course it does. That what removal means.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby BertZ » 07 Feb 2012, 05:43

By Multi-land i assume you mean original Duel lands, as these are the only lands i would consider worth an organ.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Yaxley » 07 Feb 2012, 06:34

BertZ wrote:By Multi-land i assume you mean original Duel lands, as these are the only lands i would consider worth an organ.

Maybe James just REALLY wants that Karplusan Forest.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby RytelCSF » 07 Feb 2012, 07:41

Okay, show of hands. When James said "I can't believe this is a Mythic," how many of us immediately thought of Archangel's Light?

Also, was I the only one expecting "Why don't you just concede already? Ugh, you're such a girl!"
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby BertZ » 07 Feb 2012, 09:12

Yaxley wrote:
BertZ wrote:By Multi-land i assume you mean original Duel lands, as these are the only lands i would consider worth an organ.

Maybe James just REALLY wants that Karplusan Forest.


Probably Adarkar Wastes tbh.

RytelCSF wrote:Okay, show of hands. When James said "I can't believe this is a Mythic," how many of us immediately thought of Archangel's Light?


*Raises hand for thinking of Archangel's Light*
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Nojh » 07 Feb 2012, 11:13

So for those of us who are magic newbies, anybody want to translate some of those statements for us? Pretty please?
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby phlip » 07 Feb 2012, 15:18

Nojh wrote:So for those of us who are magic newbies, anybody want to translate some of those statements for us? Pretty please?

"Not relevant in Standard."
Magic is played in many different formats... the main categories of formats are Constructed (where you build a deck ahead of time), and Limited (where you get a bunch of cards during the game and build a deck out of those). Constructed gives you a lot more freedom with the deck-building, while Limited flattens the playing field by not giving an advantage to those with larger collections. The different Constructed formats vary by which cards are legal (eg Standard is approximately the last 1-2 years of releases); Limited formats vary by what sets the cards are chosen from, and how you pick which cards are in your pool.
Now, some cards are better in some formats than they are in others. For instance something like Doubling Chant can be useful in a constructed format, as you can load up your deck with multiples of every creature. But in limited, most of your creatures, you're only going to have one of, so it's not going to have nearly as much of an effect. And similarly in reverse, there are a number of cards that are strong in limited formats, but weak in constructed (as your opponents are much more likely to be able to respond to them). James's character here is deciding a card is worthless simply because it's not relevant in one particular format.

"*sigh*... I mull to 6."
At the start of a game, you draw a hand of 7 cards from your deck. If this hand is unplayable, you have the option of taking a mulligan, which involves putting your hand back, re-shuffling, and drawing another hand with 1 fewer card. You can keep doing this until you get a hand that's worth keeping. James is doing his first mulligan, going down to a 6-card hand.

"Well this dies to removal."
"Removal" is the term for spells and effects that kills stuff your opponent has. Often directly targeted, so you can kill that one guy your opponent has that's really annoying. The vast majority of all things in the game will die to some removal spell, though a few are more resilient than others. As Graham says, though, that's essentially the point of removal.
However, in discussions about cards, there'll often be someone who comes in on a discussion about a strong creature, for instance, and say it's terrible because it "dies to Doom Blade" or the like. Which is just... pointless.

"I play Noggle Bridgebreaker."
I don't think there's a real joke here, except that Noggle Bridgebreaker is a pretty funny name.

"Resolves."
When you cast a spell, your opponent gets the opportunity to respond to it... possibly by playing some form of counter spell to prevent it from happening. If they don't do something to counter it, then the spell will "resolve", and have its effect.

"Well that goes in every Commander deck."
Commander is one of the Constructed formats I mentioned before. The character is claiming that a particular card is strong and versatile enough to go into any deck in that format, regardless of the focus of the deck.

"I guess I take 6 here."
James's character is about to take 6 points of damage. Probably, his opponent attacked with his creatures, and he either couldn't, or didn't want to block them.

"I would trade my kidney for that multi-land."
Certain lands that can generate multiple colours of mana are quite powerful, and some of them are also quite pricey. As BertZ mentioned, the original Dual Lands in particular are particularly valuable.

"Did you top-deck that?"
James's character is asking his opponent if he just drew that card off the top of his deck this turn (ie got lucky) as opposed to holding it in his hand for a while, and planning around it.

"Yeah, I first-picked that."
In a draft, a limited format, you open a booster packet, choose 1 card which you think is the best one, and then pass the rest to another player. Another player then passes their packet to you, and you pick a second card, and pass the rest. You continue in this way until you've gotten three boosters' worth of cards, and then build a deck out of what you've chosen. James's character is gloating over the fact that the card he's referring to was in the packet he opened at the start of the draft, and it's the card he picked from that packet.

"I can't believe this is a Common!" / "I can't believe this is a Mythic..."
Cards in Magic have various rarities - Common, Uncommon, Rare, Mythic Rare. Rarer cards are generally (but not always) stronger than the more common cards. James's character is expressing disbelief that a couple of cards are a particularly strong common, and a particularly weak mythic, respectively.

"Swing with the team."
"Swing" is slang for "attack", so he's attacking with all the creatures he controls.

"How much land are you running?"
The way Magic works, you need to get Land cards out first, and then you use those to play spells. If you have too few land cards, you can often be in the situation where you don't have enough of them to play the spells in your hand. But if you have too many land, you can often be in the situation where you don't have any spells to cast, and you just keep drawing more (at this stage useless) land. Of course, either of those can happen by chance, even if you get the balance right. James's character is asking how many land cards are in his opponents' deck... probably because his opponent is having one of those problems happen.

"Trash... trash.... trash.... trash.... trash.... trash.... trash.... trash...."
Now, this is a matter of opinion, and people will always disagree about which cards are good and which cards are terrible. Most people, though, don't think there are this many useless cards in the set. But if you read discussions online about cards, you might believe that there are some people who do. Because they disregard almost every single card they see as worthless.

"Ugh, mana screwed." / "Ugh, mana flooded."
These are the terms for those problems I mentioned before about getting either too few (or the wrong kinds of) Land cards, and getting too many of them, respectively.

"Whoa, Nocturnus is like 20 bucks!"
Vampire Nocturnus is a pretty strong card... the current price for it is about $20, so I'm not sure whether James's character is surprised because it's high, or because it's low. Probably the former, though.

"This is so out of flavour for black."
The different colours of cards have their own styles and common elements, both in the mechanics, and in the "flavour", or storyline, behind the cards. Red cards, for instance, have a lot of direct damage cards, and is full of cards that involve heat or fire in some way in the flavour. Sometimes, though, they'll have to print a card that doesn't quite fit, in order to make the balance work, or for some other goal.

"I reveal Desperate Ravings, flip my Delver, equip the Cleaver and swing."
Delver of Secrets flips over if you reveal a particular type of card from the top of your deck at the start of your turn, and becomes a particularly strong creature that you can get out very early in the game (but it depends on you getting lucky with the card draw). Equipping the Butcher's Cleaver is just insult to injury at this point - this creature will be attacking for 6 points of damage, is hard to block, and, when it attacks, James's character will gain 6 points of life. Considering you only start on 20, that's a lot.

"I scoop."
This is slang for conceding the game - so called because of the action of picking all your cards up off the table.

"I still didn't get the card I need. I need another box."
A booster box is essentially a bulk way of getting the boosters. The box itself is essentially a retail display box that people could, in theory, take boosters out of and then buy them individually - but players will often just buy a whole box and keep all the boosters for themselves. You get 36 boosters (540 cards) in a box, and it costs about $160 (in Australia... probably cheaper in the States). Since the cards you get are random, this isn't the most cost-effective way to get a specific card, if there's one you're after.

"Turn 1, Plains, Doomed Traveller, Go."
(from the video description)
The Doomed Traveler is possibly the most annoying creature to have someone get out on the first turn. It's a very good card, and irritating to deal with, as killing it the first time only makes it stronger.
While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.
but how about watch phone?

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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Geoff_B » 07 Feb 2012, 15:24

phlip wrote:"Turn 1, Plains, Doomed Traveller, Go."
(from the video description)
The Doomed Traveler is possibly the most annoying creature to have someone get out on the first turn. It's a very good card, and irritating to deal with, as killing it the first time only makes it stronger.


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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Avistew » 07 Feb 2012, 16:53

Phlip, you're pretty awesome for explaining all of these.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby Graham » 08 Feb 2012, 00:51

Phlip, that's amazing.
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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby phlip » 08 Feb 2012, 02:18

Eh, I'm here to help.

And also to gloat. But mostly to help.
While no one overhear you quickly tell me not cow cow.
but how about watch phone?

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Re: Shit Magic Players Say

Postby taza » 09 Feb 2012, 15:43

I run a white Darksteel deck. Creatures that die to removal are for suckers.

(No, I actually run Red Standard Combo that packs lots of mana acceleration, Myr Galvanizers, Hoard-Smelters and Liquimetal Coatings, because I'm kinda of a dick like that, but that's neither here or there.)

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