Love confession problem

[Metcarfre]

Then you just say, "Oh! I guess I should get yours, too! HAHAHAHA..."

[Gordon Fearman]

Yeah, that sounds much easier with friends around.

Hey you wanna go out some time?

Hey you want my number?

i'm sure there are more tactful ways of saying that. i just can't think of any right now.

why are you so afraid of dealing with her friends? you said that you get along with them. do you think they are going to point and laugh?

Pfft. Of course not.


...nobody points anymore.

[Perianth St. Claire]

i don't think it would be that bad especially if you think she is interested in you too. they'd probably laugh about it later though.

[Zhyard]

@Gordon Fearmans long post:
That's actually quite helpful.

@Calling her:
Actually getting her number would be no problem. We have quite a good comradery in our class, don't know if it's a Swedish thing or what, everyone pretty much have everyones number and we all get along rather well.
But I don't want to ask her out by phone. It feels so impersonal. It might work but it feels like it would be cheating.

@Giving her my number:
Pardon my language. I don't know if she has the balls to do it. As I said she seems to be giving me signals that she likes me but I think the best course of action is to take the first step myself.

@"do you think they are going to point and laugh?":
Pointing, no. ROFLing, yes.

[Perianth St. Claire]

But I don't want to ask her out by phone. It feels so impersonal. It might work but it feels like it would be cheating.

it's not cheating. you're not asking her out. you're asking to hang out. it's not actually a date. it's just an opportunity to get her alone without her friends and to see if she's interested in you. if there's chemistry. then you ask her on an actual date if she shows that she likes you more as a friend.

and if her friends really would do that then they sound like jackasses.

[Zhyard]

Holy crap this thread has 1 post every 100 second.

[Gordon Fearman]

@Gordon Fearmans long post:
That's actually quite helpful.

Holy crap, I've helped someone?

Quick, I must capitalise on this: The problem with giving someone your number is you kinda have to be sure that they are interested in you. And if you're already sure of that then JUST ASK THEM OUT!! Pfft, seriously. I just think asking someone if they want your number is a really pretentious sounding thing to do. Sure, it might be done because you're too scared to just ask them out, but they don't know that.

Also, as far as I know, there are 2 strategies you can take in asking someone out:
Be confident-because everyone likes a confident dude
Be nervous-hope that you can play off some sorta awkward uncertain charm

EDIT: Do not be creepy nervous. For instance, don't laugh at your own jokes if she doesn't. Don't do it. Don't. Like really don't.

I have no idea what to pick.

[TomBrend]

LOL, how many of you are planning on calling me on that?

-m

I didn't see his post before I made mine, sorry about that.

[Zhyard]

But I don't want to ask her out by phone. It feels so impersonal. It might work but it feels like it would be cheating.

it's not cheating. you're not asking her out. you're asking to hang out. it's not actually a date. it's just an opportunity to get her alone without her friends and to see if she's interested in you. if there's chemistry. then you ask her on an actual date if she shows that she likes you more as a friend.

If I ask her to hang out just the two of us, that's a date.

[Gordon Fearman]

LOL, how many of you are planning on calling me on that?

-m

I didn't see his post before I made mine, sorry about that.

Know what'd be phunny? If either one of them saw this site and read this thread.

Although who the hell has the patience to get through 6 pages by now?

[Perianth St. Claire]

quote]If I ask her to hang out just the two of us, that's a date.

it's really much too casual to be considered a date.

[Zhyard]

it's really much too casual to be considered a date.

But all the components are there. Even if it's called something else it's pretty much the same thing but maybe even worse (probably not the right word here) since then she's actually in my home.

Edit: We need to meet on equal ground.

[Gordon Fearman]

it's really much too casual to be considered a date.

But all the components are there. Even if it's called something else it's pretty much the same thing but maybe even worse (probably not the right word here) since then she's actually in my home.

Edit: We need to meet on equal ground.

Oh dude, don't have your first date in your house. Unless you're as awesome as Arius.

But if you're as awesome as Arius this thread would be permanently about Matt and his failure to get some hot coffee.

[Perianth St. Claire]

woah why would she be in your home? i meant to ask her to hang out somewhere else like to get pizza or something.

[Gordon Fearman]

woah why would she be in your home? i meant to ask her to hang out somewhere else like to get pizza or something.

Tacos are the most romantic food possible.

[Metcarfre]

woah why would she be in your home? i meant to ask her to hang out somewhere else like to get pizza or something.

Tacos are the most romantic food possible.

... No.

[Zhyard]

Oh, that makes WAY more sense. That still feels like a date though.

Edit: I associate "hang out" with being home. This is not my language, what do you want from me?

[TomBrend]

Well, you're friends, it's what you make of it. Just hang out with her like normal, maybe go get lunch or something and be really casual, then be like "hey, what if we went out some time?" Women are the masters of subtext, she'll know what you mean... probably.

[Zhyard]

Well, you're friends, it's what you make of it. Just hang out with her like normal, maybe go get lunch or something and be really casual, then be like "hey, what if we went out some time?" Women are the masters of subtext, she'll know what you mean... probably.

I don't know what we are actually. I talk to her casually and we spend the breaks together (with our fellow classmates, not alone) but I've never really talked to her much until these last few weeks.

[Matt]

yeah - differentiating a date and just hanging out somewhere is stricky if you're already friends. Really, it's not a date unless both people acknowledge it as such.

your best bet is for your first time together, probably steer clear of calling it a date.

If you were to say,

"hey, did you want to go do/get/see x"

and she responded "sure" then assume you're just going out as friends the first time. At the end when you ask if she wants to do it again, and she says "sure" then you're moving into date territory.

If she responded to the initial approach with, "what, like a date?" then you could say "yes" and if she accepted it would be a date.

assumptions are bad.

-m

[Perianth St. Claire]

so matt, with that coffee situation, do the two chicks there not wear name tags?

[Matt]

starbucks employees never do.

-m

[Zhyard]

But we are not that kind of friends. If I ask her to go eat something with me, it's a date.

Oh right, about her name. I don't know, do I really want to tell you guys?

[Perianth St. Claire]

so they know your name which would imply that they found it out by asking you for it. why didn't you just ask for their names in turn? i mean it's too late now but just curious.

[Matt]

actually - these two (thankfully) don't use my name - so it's possible they don't know it.

I was asked my name by a manager, because I'm a twice-a-day regular. He shared it with his staff.

Getting their names isn't the hard part.

It's more timing. I'm trying to get an indication as to whether the one i like actually has a boyfriend or not.

Recon. That's what I'm doing.

-m