The Big Relationship Thread

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epocalypse
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby epocalypse » 02 Aug 2011, 13:18

Indeed, best of luck, although speaking from experience, I caution getting too infused before the atlantic gets out of the way.

No updates on my end, which is irritating. I want my friend back. Complicated feelings are complicated.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby theDreamer » 02 Aug 2011, 13:20

The Jester wrote:We're going to be "doing coffee"


That must be painful.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby iamafish » 02 Aug 2011, 13:23

I'm sure the baristas would be very displeased if you did that.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 02 Aug 2011, 13:28

Well I presume in that situation you would order it to go.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Geoff_B » 02 Aug 2011, 13:32

The Jester wrote:We're going to be "doing coffee"


... hot coffee?

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 02 Aug 2011, 15:35

epocalypse wrote:Indeed, best of luck, although speaking from experience, I caution getting too infused before the Atlantic gets out of the way.

No updates on my end, which is irritating. I want my friend back. Complicated feelings are complicated.

I know man, I've gotten a lot of practice in not letting my feelings run away with me. Thank you for the concern and advice, though. :)

Still, as I have mentioned once or twice before, I do intend on moving continents when I am able. ;)


I hope you, on your end, can re-establish a dialogue soon, mon ami.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby epocalypse » 04 Aug 2011, 18:57

thank you, sir. I hope so too, more than that, I hope she does, because if I do, which the only way I would at this time out of respect for her wishes is running into her IRL by accident, I feel like I'm 50% liable to beg her to be my friend again, and preemptively, to that end, reject the idea of any romantic relationship just as a ploy to get back what we had had platonically.

In that case, it's not just the fact that I don't want to put her in that situation, or that it may not work, but perhaps most important of all, I don't want to do that to myself anymore. I can be her friend without forcing her or preemptively trying to refuse her, as long as she's still willing to be my friend. It's up to her. for now, though, the silence remains deafening.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 04 Aug 2011, 19:08

Certainly the worst part of any amiable breakup is losing your best friend to silence. It's like a bad Doctor Who fanfic.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby epocalypse » 04 Aug 2011, 20:54

given, that's not quite what happened, as there hasn't really been a relationship, a break up, or an out and out rejection even, but essentially yeah. In a way, that would have been better as it would have least been conclusive, you know, closure n' all, this whole anticipation and in action and uncertainty of what if anything we'll be for each other in the future, with the options being somewhere between everything and nothing. So the waiting I shall be.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 06 Aug 2011, 13:23

We just talked for about four hours solid, via Google+'s Hangouts facility. :D

A great time was had by all, and were the Atlantic not an obstacle, she would not have been unreceptive to an embrace and a kiss on the cheek. :)

We're definitely going to hang out the same way again when she next has enough free time. :D
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby goat » 06 Aug 2011, 14:14

Started up my online dating profile again two weeks ago. Got my first hit this morning, she asked me who Vonnegut was and what he had written.

Online dating profile: disabled.

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby thatlaurachick » 06 Aug 2011, 14:32

@goat I honestly never recommend online dating sites. It may work for someone out there, but I have yet to meet any of those people.

Have you tried a new hobby or asking out a forumite? :P
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby theDreamer » 06 Aug 2011, 14:46

thatlaurachick wrote:@goat I honestly never recommend online dating sites. It may work for someone out there, but I have yet to meet any of those people.


Tell that to my dad and his wife.

My uncle and his wife.

My cousin and his wife.

My cousin and her husband.

And I think one last cousin.

EDIT: The secret is J-Date.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby goat » 06 Aug 2011, 15:03

I actually met a really nice girl on that same site that I wound up dating for like 9 months. We're even still friends. There were even some really cool people on there, but they tended to be taken and/or inactive.

@levi: the problem with that is that I am not jewish. Totally have a thing for jewish girls, but j-date requires more semitism than I have.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Ayailla » 07 Aug 2011, 05:50

Online dating worked for my brother, who hadn't been in a relationship since his daughter was born 13 years before. There's always a possibility that you will find somebody. I don't see how it is any less likely to work than meeting somebody in a club / coffee shop / workplace.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 07 Aug 2011, 11:46

Should I tell her I realised earlier that I kinda miss her? Before yesterday we've never spoken outside of our typed messages, but we did talk for four hours - all the time she had spare. Is that sufficient to form the basis of a feeling of missing someone?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby goat » 07 Aug 2011, 12:41

The Jester wrote:Should I tell her I realised earlier that I kinda miss her? Before yesterday we've never spoken outside of our typed messages, but we did talk for four hours - all the time she had spare. Is that sufficient to form the basis of a feeling of missing someone?


I'd err on the side of not telling her that. While it is a sweet sentiment and all, it does sound a bit creepy without more relationship context.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Metcarfre » 07 Aug 2011, 13:11

Yes. That.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 07 Aug 2011, 13:19

The Jester wrote:Before yesterday we've never spoken outside of our typed messages, but we did talk for four hours - all the time she had spare. Is that sufficient to form the basis of a feeling of missing someone?

Yes.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Mimm » 07 Aug 2011, 13:19

I agree. While telling someone you miss them could be seen as sweet, a lot of girls will see it as overbearing or dramatic. Sometimes, telling someone you want them can serve to push them further away. Figuratively speaking, if you step forward and she steps back, don't then keep stepping forward.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 07 Aug 2011, 13:57

Well it really isn't "ZOMG I must have you with me" and more like "I enjoyed talking to you yesterday, and would really like to spend time talking to you again today, though I know we can't because you're not free". I'm not diving head-first into this, like I have done before. But at the same time.. I like her company. You know?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bad Ideas Bear » 07 Aug 2011, 14:00

Why not carve her name onto a part of her body, and then send her a photo of it?

Seems to work for those kids on that LiveJournal.

Protip: Small, neat letters on a more private part of the body show more effort and care than simply scrawling on an arm or a leg.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby goat » 07 Aug 2011, 15:08

The Jester wrote:"I enjoyed talking to you yesterday


That (and only that; verbatim) is perfectly acceptable, but saying "I miss you" is a bit strong.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 07 Aug 2011, 15:45

Thanks guys.

Oh, I did also tell her just before we ended the video call that she's gorgeous. She was adorably bashful and smiley. :)
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby iamafish » 07 Aug 2011, 16:07

always a good idea. Tell a girl she is gorgeous. Gorgeous is a great word. Like beautiful. Not objectifying like 'hot', or patronising, like 'cute', not childish-sounding, like 'pretty'. stunning is good too.

good work Jester
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