The Big Relationship Thread

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 27 May 2013, 14:23

Fresh Prince of Bel Air reference.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby ex-Lurker » 27 May 2013, 19:58

What would happen if you enact them all at once?
Totally accurate, except for all the times I'm not.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Kapol » 27 May 2013, 20:04

Mayhem.

As of late, I've been feeling the urge to get into a relationship. The problems with doing so are numerous. Money, appeal, area, self-esteem, lack of knowledge, and a very upset rabbit are all issues that would have to be addressed. So, internet, wat do? What could possibly go wrong with listening to random strangers' advice?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dubious_wolf » 27 May 2013, 20:07

I'vr found random strangers can be very helpful.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Fezzul » 27 May 2013, 20:42

Don't ask me. It has become increasingly clear that I know jack about romance and the successful execution of same.

I think I need a period of not thinking about women for a while...
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dubious_wolf » 27 May 2013, 21:41

Fezzul wrote:I think I need a period of not thinking about women for a while...


I've found this also quite helpful.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Drecon » 28 May 2013, 00:41

Kapol wrote:Mayhem.

As of late, I've been feeling the urge to get into a relationship. The problems with doing so are numerous. Money, appeal, area, self-esteem, lack of knowledge, and a very upset rabbit are all issues that would have to be addressed. So, internet, wat do? What could possibly go wrong with listening to random strangers' advice?


Hi, random stranger here, trying to think along.

Let's try and get a grip on the 'problems':
Money: Always an issue. Going out to dinner and the movies together costs pesky coins, which is not ideal. My best advice in that is just being honest about it. Maybe you can't afford to go out to dinner this week and you'll cook for him/her, maybe you'll enjoy a movie at home? As long as you talk about it it shouldn't be too much of a problem (and if the other one thinks it is, they're probably not worth it anyway)
Appeal: I'm unsure what you mean here in this context so I'll let this one lie silent here.
Area: Not as much as an issue as you would think. While long-distance relationships are expensive (travel mostly), you should believe the internet. There are hot girls looking for love in your area (at least that's what the internet tells me...). In all seriousness though, this is mostly a minor issue.
Self-esteem: This is the big one. Confidence is attractive and it is something that can only come from within. There's no easy answer here, but mostly just keep working on it. Also, a relationship, even if it doesn't work out, can teach you a lot about yourself and what you still have left to do. I know mine has completely changed me from a depressed pile of human into a confident guy who knows exactly what he wants in life. Had to go through some stuff but it was worth it because I really got to know myself.
Lack of knowledge: Well, how do you expect to gain this knowledge? Only one way, get out there and make mistakes. That's how humans learn.

That said, a relationship should never be the goal in itself. It should always be spending time with someone you really like. Once you're sure you really like someone you can start thinking about relationships. Not the other way around.
"if it ain't shiny, rub it on your hiney"
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby tamaness » 28 May 2013, 04:22

Dubious_wolf wrote:Apparently I'vr gotten really good at reading body language and observing social practices, When it comes to OTHER PEOPLE. Now if only I could make it work for me...
In fact it's almost painfully obvious when two people are doing the stupid little dance.
I mean shit... Someone just say something and save us all the trouble.


Sorry, had to quote from a few pages back because I had to add to this thought.

There's a couple at my (now former) workplace who are trying to keep their relationship on the "down low," as it were. It'd work, except they're so obviously smitten with each-other, and everyone's playing along because they don't want to be the one who "outed" them to the entire store. I mentioned that they were pretty obviously together to one of them and she asked how I knew. My response, "you and he talk to each-other differently than you do everyone else," which is true, if you ignore the fact that they regularly make excuses to work in the same area as each-other (and so on and so forth).

I'm kinda disappointed I'll not be there for someone accidentally outing them.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby PlasmaCow » 28 May 2013, 14:22

Big old 75% off Steam sale on all the DLC for CK2 (bar Old Gods) in case there's anything that folks are missing from their collection.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Sieg Reyu » 28 May 2013, 16:31

PlasmaCow wrote:Big old 75% off Steam sale on all the DLC for CK2 (bar Old Gods) in case there's anything that folks are missing from their collection.
Wrong thread?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 28 May 2013, 16:45

Clearly you underestimate Cow's love of Steam sales.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 28 May 2013, 17:07

My new OTP
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Kapol » 28 May 2013, 17:33

Drecon wrote:
Kapol wrote:Mayhem.

As of late, I've been feeling the urge to get into a relationship. The problems with doing so are numerous. Money, appeal, area, self-esteem, lack of knowledge, and a very upset rabbit are all issues that would have to be addressed. So, internet, wat do? What could possibly go wrong with listening to random strangers' advice?


Hi, random stranger here, trying to think along.

Let's try and get a grip on the 'problems':
Money: Always an issue. Going out to dinner and the movies together costs pesky coins, which is not ideal. My best advice in that is just being honest about it. Maybe you can't afford to go out to dinner this week and you'll cook for him/her, maybe you'll enjoy a movie at home? As long as you talk about it it shouldn't be too much of a problem (and if the other one thinks it is, they're probably not worth it anyway)
Appeal: I'm unsure what you mean here in this context so I'll let this one lie silent here.
Area: Not as much as an issue as you would think. While long-distance relationships are expensive (travel mostly), you should believe the internet. There are hot girls looking for love in your area (at least that's what the internet tells me...). In all seriousness though, this is mostly a minor issue.
Self-esteem: This is the big one. Confidence is attractive and it is something that can only come from within. There's no easy answer here, but mostly just keep working on it. Also, a relationship, even if it doesn't work out, can teach you a lot about yourself and what you still have left to do. I know mine has completely changed me from a depressed pile of human into a confident guy who knows exactly what he wants in life. Had to go through some stuff but it was worth it because I really got to know myself.
Lack of knowledge: Well, how do you expect to gain this knowledge? Only one way, get out there and make mistakes. That's how humans learn.

That said, a relationship should never be the goal in itself. It should always be spending time with someone you really like. Once you're sure you really like someone you can start thinking about relationships. Not the other way around.


The knowledge isn't necessarily just relationship knowledge. I'm just not good at talking to people on a one-on-one level. I'm never certain what to say or... well, you get the idea. The money isn't specifically a negative aspect itself, but rather not having a source of income at the moment, which ties in with the self-esteem aspect. Appeal is mostly my personal appeal to others, which I again will point you back to the lack of self-esteem to find more info on. And finally, the internet is likely a good tool for things like this. But I'm not comfortable with talking to people, so it's still a problem.

In other words: Whaaaa, I have the emotional maturity of a five year old. :( Realistically though I do realize these are all issues I have to work on not only for getting into a relationship, but also becoming a stronger person overall.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 28 May 2013, 18:04

I am not great at talking to people one on one (I have a tendency to shut down sometimes) I am however great at listening. I actually really enjoy listening to other people talk, as long as it is somewhat interesting. Listening, however, isn't always an ideal skill when it isn't tied to talking.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby KiteNeravar » 28 May 2013, 18:12

Kapol wrote:stuff
I am the same way, I have been unemployed for 3 years now (went and got my Masters during two of those years) but it begins to affect your self-esteem, add on top of that getting dumped because you "can't spoil [her] the way [she] deserves" getting back out there can be difficult
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 28 May 2013, 18:56

I've been repeatedly complimented on my ability to listen attentively to others, but also on my near inability to properly express my own thoughts and feelings.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby nicholasmc1 » 28 May 2013, 19:08

Lyinginbedmon wrote:I've been repeatedly complimented on my ability to listen attentively to others, but also on my near inability to properly express my own thoughts and feelings.

Sounds like me, I've experimented with interperative dance to convey my feelings to...... mixed results.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 28 May 2013, 22:37

I heard interpretive dance is a universal language.
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Ptangmatik » 28 May 2013, 23:51

Yeah, but you just try ordering at a restaurant in it, see how far you get
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby JustAName » 28 May 2013, 23:54

[Rant about a friend.] I am so fucking tired of this shit. If you like a person who doesn't like you back or who you know would be bad for you, or both, then focus on their negative aspects until you can distance yourself from your attraction. If you can't do that, put some actual distance between you. You created this fucking mess for yourself, at least have the responsibility to fix it instead of dumping your emotional problems on others. I'd have more sympathy if you showed any inclination to solve this rather than whine.

Sorry. That was probably more angry than it needed to be, and it's a bit hyperbolic. I'm just so tired of people being DUMB.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby PlasmaCow » 29 May 2013, 07:59

whoops, not sure how that got there, was wondering why it wasn't the the CK2 thread this morning...

In other news:

Well... fuck.
What with our long back and forth it finally looked like we'd actually be arranging a face-to-face this Friday, but she appears to have either deleted or disabled her okc account.
I gave her my mobile number in the last message and saying it'd be an easier way to sort something last-minute on the day with her changeable schedule.

Instant reactionary fear that that's her gone for good. One way or the other though, she has my number and the ball is 100% in her court. Which in this instance I don't enjoy =/
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 29 May 2013, 08:01

Yeah, as relaxing as not being the one calling the shot(s) is, it gets somewhat rained out by the paralysing uncertainty of not knowing exactly what's going on.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 29 May 2013, 13:49

Fayili wrote:[Rant about a friend.] I am so fucking tired of this shit. If you like a person who doesn't like you back or who you know would be bad for you, or both, then focus on their negative aspects until you can distance yourself from your attraction. If you can't do that, put some actual distance between you. You created this fucking mess for yourself, at least have the responsibility to fix it instead of dumping your emotional problems on others. I'd have more sympathy if you showed any inclination to solve this rather than whine.

Sorry. That was probably more angry than it needed to be, and it's a bit hyperbolic. I'm just so tired of people being DUMB.


Knock sense into them with a mallet.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 29 May 2013, 13:54

Elomin Sha wrote:
Fayili wrote:[Rant about a friend.] I am so fucking tired of this shit. If you like a person who doesn't like you back or who you know would be bad for you, or both, then focus on their negative aspects until you can distance yourself from your attraction. If you can't do that, put some actual distance between you. You created this fucking mess for yourself, at least have the responsibility to fix it instead of dumping your emotional problems on others. I'd have more sympathy if you showed any inclination to solve this rather than whine.

Sorry. That was probably more angry than it needed to be, and it's a bit hyperbolic. I'm just so tired of people being DUMB.


Knock sense into them with a mallet.


Better: two mallets. One from each side of the head; works best if you do one then the other, because then you get them as they're turning out of the way and do extra damage.

...too much?
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 29 May 2013, 14:48

No. Do it as a Newton's cradle with their head in the middle.
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