The Big Relationship Thread

Drop by and talk about anything you want. This is where all cheese-related discussions should go
User avatar
The Jester
Posts: 6141
Joined: 07 Aug 2008, 17:49
First Video: The Truce
Location: Chester, UK
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 21 Oct 2013, 15:56

Indeed. -.q
User avatar
viscomica
Posts: 3346
Joined: 05 Aug 2013, 17:01
First Video: SPRING!
Location: Ministry of Magic

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 21 Oct 2013, 16:53

Hmmm.... I don't think an 18 year old would be quite ready to date a 26 year old man. I think not, but everything's possible, I guess
User avatar
Deedles
Posts: 4043
Joined: 29 Nov 2010, 13:19
First Video: Man Cooking
Location: A shoebox on Kashyyyk.
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Deedles » 21 Oct 2013, 17:52

I dated a 18 year old when I was 13 (he was 4 and a half years older), which lasted until I was 17. So in my opinion if she wants it and Jester doesn't lead her on with malicious intent(which I know Jester wouldn't, because he's a cool guy <3) then there is no harm in at least trying. If it comes to that, since, as Jester said, it's a crush and nothing really serious right now since he doesn't know her well enough.
Hurp-De-Durp!
User avatar
Tycherin
Posts: 835
Joined: 30 Mar 2011, 13:27
First Video: The Lich King's New Wrath
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Tycherin » 21 Oct 2013, 17:57

Actually this issue has always interested me. For my part, I've met teenaged girls, and for the most part, they're... well, they're teenagers. I have no desire to date someone who has yet to go through the maturation process that accompanies graduating high school and tackling the "real world" that lies beyond. I don't look down on them, but I also don't have any interest in dating them. So while I can see why an 17-year-old girl might be interested in dating someone five years older than her, I can't understand the reverse.
User avatar
OMGItsSarah
Posts: 634
Joined: 18 Jan 2009, 22:41
First Video: Offensisensitivity
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby OMGItsSarah » 21 Oct 2013, 18:01

I dated a 21-year-old when I was 16 and, while we're still friends, the relationship wasn't a good idea. I'm 20 now and my current boyfriend is 5 years older than me and it's working out FAR better. And he's reading over my shoulder probably so hello darling I love you.
Image
Image
User avatar
Pikachaos
Posts: 243
Joined: 01 Dec 2010, 15:03
First Video: Ballad of the Fanboy
Location: Minnesota

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Pikachaos » 21 Oct 2013, 19:49

I'd like to step in here to say that I am an 18 year old dating a 27 year old, and the age thing doesn't get in the way at all. It all depends on the maturity of the two people. Just like it can feel weird for someone to date someone the same age, but who lives like they are 10 years younger.

If you guys have the same interests/ same outlook/ similar maturity, then it's fine.
DeviantArt - Cyberguardian
Twitter - Pikachaos
Tumblr - http://worldnegativeone.tumblr.com/

"Y-you'll have to kill your underwear." -Ghost Graham
User avatar
Elomin Sha
Posts: 15773
Joined: 22 Feb 2008, 05:14
First Video: Max Effect
Location: Woodford Green, England
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 22 Oct 2013, 00:21

I think I still live like a 9 year old.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
https://displate.com/elominsha/galleries
If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
User avatar
Laurnil
Posts: 2373
Joined: 23 Apr 2009, 15:31
First Video: Cannot remember
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Laurnil » 22 Oct 2013, 14:06

Jester, no. Stop it. I'm not saying any particular aspect is wrong. She's 18; that's fine, but not ideal. She's in California, again, while not ideal, it still can be fine.

But, I worry about those things in combination with your predilection to become over-involved in someone else. Plus, your recent break-up.

Take it slow, bro. You got time. You're a super young guy. You got the time.

Also, how does she feel? Do you know?
Laurnil

http://www.twitter.com/laurnil

FYI: Laurnil is short for Laura Nichelle
User avatar
Laurnil
Posts: 2373
Joined: 23 Apr 2009, 15:31
First Video: Cannot remember
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Laurnil » 22 Oct 2013, 14:13

Pikachaos wrote:I'd like to step in here to say that I am an 18 year old dating a 27 year old, and the age thing doesn't get in the way at all. It all depends on the maturity of the two people. Just like it can feel weird for someone to date someone the same age, but who lives like they are 10 years younger.

If you guys have the same interests/ same outlook/ similar maturity, then it's fine.


You say that at 18 but the problem is not that you're not mature, it is that you'll be an entirely different person in 4 years and then, another different person in another 5 years.

You're going to find out so much about yourself in the next few years that it is really crazy. If I met my 18/19 year old self as I am now, we would hate each other.
Laurnil

http://www.twitter.com/laurnil

FYI: Laurnil is short for Laura Nichelle
User avatar
Elomin Sha
Posts: 15773
Joined: 22 Feb 2008, 05:14
First Video: Max Effect
Location: Woodford Green, England
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 22 Oct 2013, 15:50

Laurnil wrote:
Pikachaos wrote:I'd like to step in here to say that I am an 18 year old dating a 27 year old, and the age thing doesn't get in the way at all. It all depends on the maturity of the two people. Just like it can feel weird for someone to date someone the same age, but who lives like they are 10 years younger.

If you guys have the same interests/ same outlook/ similar maturity, then it's fine.


You say that at 18 but the problem is not that you're not mature, it is that you'll be an entirely different person in 4 years and then, another different person in another 5 years.

You're going to find out so much about yourself in the next few years that it is really crazy. If I met my 18/19 year old self as I am now, we would hate each other.


I really haven't changed that much, except I go out the house a little more.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
https://displate.com/elominsha/galleries
If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
User avatar
viscomica
Posts: 3346
Joined: 05 Aug 2013, 17:01
First Video: SPRING!
Location: Ministry of Magic

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 22 Oct 2013, 17:10

Laurnil wrote:Jester, no. Stop it. I'm not saying any particular aspect is wrong. She's 18; that's fine, but not ideal. She's in California, again, while not ideal, it still can be fine.

But, I worry about those things in combination with your predilection to become over-involved in someone else. Plus, your recent break-up.

Take it slow, bro. You got time. You're a super young guy. You got the time.

Also, how does she feel? Do you know?


THIS. So much wisdom (clap clap clap)

It'd be a completely different story if she were, I don't know, 23 and the guy 28 or sth of the sort. But people who just finished high school are.... yes, Laurnil, I would also slap my younger self.
User avatar
Pikachaos
Posts: 243
Joined: 01 Dec 2010, 15:03
First Video: Ballad of the Fanboy
Location: Minnesota

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Pikachaos » 22 Oct 2013, 17:58

I don't understand how me changing in 5 years matters. I'm not engaged, I'm dating, and as of right now, the age isn't impacting how much I enjoy being in the relationship. Dating is about being happy and being happy with someone else, which I am.

If we were talking about marriage that would be a different story, but I'd still argue it greatly depends on the person.

I'd also argue that anyone would slap their earlier self at any age difference. People who are 40 regret things they did at 35. We are always smarter than we used to be.
DeviantArt - Cyberguardian
Twitter - Pikachaos
Tumblr - http://worldnegativeone.tumblr.com/

"Y-you'll have to kill your underwear." -Ghost Graham
User avatar
viscomica
Posts: 3346
Joined: 05 Aug 2013, 17:01
First Video: SPRING!
Location: Ministry of Magic

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 22 Oct 2013, 18:01

You should totally talk to your future self (ah, future Ted and future Marshall, back when HIMYM was actually kind of ok)
User avatar
viscomica
Posts: 3346
Joined: 05 Aug 2013, 17:01
First Video: SPRING!
Location: Ministry of Magic

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 22 Oct 2013, 18:02

Also, Laurnil and I were merely offering Jester some friendly advice. We can aaaaaaaaaall agree to disagree
User avatar
viscomica
Posts: 3346
Joined: 05 Aug 2013, 17:01
First Video: SPRING!
Location: Ministry of Magic

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 22 Oct 2013, 18:28

Yay for hair wigs!
User avatar
Jamfalcon
Posts: 3325
Joined: 08 Aug 2011, 13:59
First Video: Killer Instinct
Location: Somewhat nearish Vancouver. Kind of.
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Jamfalcon » 22 Oct 2013, 19:10

Quoting a post from over a year ago? I'm going to say this one's definitely a spam bot (it's other post was also a response to an old post).
"Jamfalcon's a super weird name" - Graham

I wrote a book!
Image
User avatar
Pikachaos
Posts: 243
Joined: 01 Dec 2010, 15:03
First Video: Ballad of the Fanboy
Location: Minnesota

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Pikachaos » 22 Oct 2013, 19:16

Also I reread my post and sorry if it sounds aggressive, didn't mean for it to.
DeviantArt - Cyberguardian
Twitter - Pikachaos
Tumblr - http://worldnegativeone.tumblr.com/

"Y-you'll have to kill your underwear." -Ghost Graham
User avatar
The Jester
Posts: 6141
Joined: 07 Aug 2008, 17:49
First Video: The Truce
Location: Chester, UK
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 23 Oct 2013, 08:07

Laurnil wrote:Jester, no. Stop it. I'm not saying any particular aspect is wrong. She's 18; that's fine, but not ideal. She's in California, again, while not ideal, it still can be fine.

But, I worry about those things in combination with your predilection to become over-involved in someone else. Plus, your recent break-up.

Take it slow, bro. You got time. You're a super young guy. You got the time.

Also, how does she feel? Do you know?

Yeah, I'm really trying not to get super attached. I know I do that a little too readily. But really what I was posting about was how the age gap was bothering me.

Even if it turns out, after we hang out a bunch, that we do get along really well and like and are attracted to one another, I am absolutely going to be taking it as slow as possible. The lessons of rushing are still waaaaay fresh in my mind.

As for how she feels... I really have no idea. I can't tell. I've never been very good at reading how people feel about me specifically. I guess I'm a little to close to the subject to get a clear emotional feeling. :P
But there are some little things that make me think maybe she might have a little crush too. But if it turns out she's not into me? That's absolutely fine too, and I'd be happy to just be friends with her because she's an interesting and very lovely person. :)
User avatar
Laurnil
Posts: 2373
Joined: 23 Apr 2009, 15:31
First Video: Cannot remember
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Laurnil » 23 Oct 2013, 09:57

The Jester wrote:
Laurnil wrote:Jester, no. Stop it. I'm not saying any particular aspect is wrong. She's 18; that's fine, but not ideal. She's in California, again, while not ideal, it still can be fine.

But, I worry about those things in combination with your predilection to become over-involved in someone else. Plus, your recent break-up.

Take it slow, bro. You got time. You're a super young guy. You got the time.

Also, how does she feel? Do you know?

Yeah, I'm really trying not to get super attached. I know I do that a little too readily. But really what I was posting about was how the age gap was bothering me.

Even if it turns out, after we hang out a bunch, that we do get along really well and like and are attracted to one another, I am absolutely going to be taking it as slow as possible. The lessons of rushing are still waaaaay fresh in my mind.

As for how she feels... I really have no idea. I can't tell. I've never been very good at reading how people feel about me specifically. I guess I'm a little to close to the subject to get a clear emotional feeling. :P
But there are some little things that make me think maybe she might have a little crush too. But if it turns out she's not into me? That's absolutely fine too, and I'd be happy to just be friends with her because she's an interesting and very lovely person. :)


I suggest asking her how she feels. I know rejection hurts, but it also feels good if you don't pass the rejection off until later. Rejection hurts much more after a long time of longing.

Also, Pikachaos, I understand what you're saying and I'm glad you're just spending time being young and while age differences aren't always a horrible idea, I just see it so often. The much older person tends to get possessive and wants the younger person to remain the same. Then, there tends to be a drastic break and a lot of anger. I'm not saying that your relationship will automatically be doomed to fail. I'm saying be aware, be careful. Be aware that these kinds of relationships come with a lot of problems, like you changing. It is good to live in the now, but also be aware of what is in front of you. It sounds like you are aware and are very mature. I'm just passing on wisdom of my history. I dated a man much older when I was 18. For a lot of the reasons I've stated, and some I have not, it was a relationship that hurt me for a very long time, much longer than the actual relationship lasted.
Laurnil

http://www.twitter.com/laurnil

FYI: Laurnil is short for Laura Nichelle
User avatar
Bebop Man
Posts: 4465
Joined: 22 May 2013, 22:55
First Video: The Pirate Video
Location: The Black Lodge

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Bebop Man » 23 Oct 2013, 11:00

Yeah, usually (USUALLY) the younger person comes to resent the older person, especially in her early '20s. Life is opening up with work and college and brand new stuff and the older person's isn't changing any and wants to keep it that way; younger person resents a perceived lack of freedom, etc, etc, etc.
Image
User avatar
viscomica
Posts: 3346
Joined: 05 Aug 2013, 17:01
First Video: SPRING!
Location: Ministry of Magic

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby viscomica » 23 Oct 2013, 14:55

Indeed, I guess it's all about maturity.
User avatar
The Jester
Posts: 6141
Joined: 07 Aug 2008, 17:49
First Video: The Truce
Location: Chester, UK
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 23 Oct 2013, 15:13

Ok... so at the moment it looks like there is insufficient interest back to justify much hope of reciprocation in this crush. oh well and fair enough. I'll see about dialling it back in again, and actually the lack of reciprocation helps somewhat. I feel like a bit of a dumbass, so I'll be watching what I say more carefully than I had been to make sure I don't speak even vaguely inappropriately.
User avatar
Pikachaos
Posts: 243
Joined: 01 Dec 2010, 15:03
First Video: Ballad of the Fanboy
Location: Minnesota

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Pikachaos » 23 Oct 2013, 20:07

Well in my case he isn't settled in a career or a place in the world he wants to call his own any more than I have. Though he has a significantly better resume, haha. I agree what you all mention could definitely happen with the average people of those respective ages, but my main point before was that it all depends on where people are in their lives. If one person is settled in who they are and their career, it would be very difficult to make it work with someone just out of highschool trying to figure out where their life is headed. Those ages aren't always in those positions though.

Anyway on Jester, D: Sorry to hear that, but maybe it's for the better. Kinda sounded like you may have been on the rebound a bit. Maybe chill out for a bit. Also maybe wait for a non LD. You were just in one, and about to try to get in one again. It may be better for you in the long run to wait it out for someone local this time? Totally just my opinion though. If that works for you then keep going.
DeviantArt - Cyberguardian
Twitter - Pikachaos
Tumblr - http://worldnegativeone.tumblr.com/

"Y-you'll have to kill your underwear." -Ghost Graham
User avatar
Eccelsall
Posts: 3
Joined: 04 Sep 2013, 19:03
First Video: Not sure which "Checkpoint"

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Eccelsall » 24 Oct 2013, 01:05

Bebop Man wrote:Yeah, usually (USUALLY) the younger person comes to resent the older person, especially in her early '20s. Life is opening up with work and college and brand new stuff and the older person's isn't changing any and wants to keep it that way; younger person resents a perceived lack of freedom, etc, etc, etc.


This is very important and you should pay attention to it!

A few years ago I dated a 19 year old (I was 24) and after a year this is what happened. After a year we had a conversation that sounded like we would be moving things farther forward in our relationship. A little while later she broke my heart with this basically being why. I definitely don't want to say 18-20 year olds will necessarily have this happen, rather that it is much more likely because of the changes most people go through during that part of their lives.
User avatar
Geoff_B
Posts: 11637
Joined: 06 Apr 2011, 13:13
First Video: Installation Anxiety
Location: Harrow, London
Contact:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Geoff_B » 24 Oct 2013, 03:52

I've thought long and hard about posting this here but I don't suppose it'll hurt much now.

When I was in Venice there was a girl in our group - out of university, working as a theatre usher. And I got on really well with her. We hung out quite a bit, went down to the beach for a paddle in the evenings with a couple of the others, and she seemed happy to be with me as well. She even helped me pick out a scarf for my mum as a souvenir.

She said that she would be moving to London for a second uni course, not too far from where I work so I said it'd be great if we could meet up sometime and she readily agreed to the idea.

After I came home we emailed each other a few times, nothing big just hi, how are you, looking forward to the move sort of general chit chat.

Then she moves down here and nothing. I've said hi, how's things on facebook and the occasional email but really I've not heard from her at all since she moved down.

I've been going over and over in my mind if I did anything wrong. I did think that since she's just started a new course she'd be busy with that but now I'm not so sure.

Bit disappointing :(
Twitter|Google+|Tumblr|Facebook|Steam|Skype: gmbridges

I survived spaMEGAdon and all I got was this lousy signature joke.

#TeamMonica, #TeamMaki, #TeamTavis

Return to “General Discussion”



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests