The Big Relationship Thread

[Bebop Man]

Sounds like a plan mon.

[Tycherin]

Don't be mildly nervous. Be confident or be an utter wreck, but either way, commit. I want to see you either stride into that room with your chest held high and a cocky grin on your face, or melt into a pile of tears and jitters in the corner. Don't just be halfway in between.

[Avistew]

I actually do really like talking about a movie we've both seen over food or gaming. I just have no need to see the movie together at the same time first.

I enjoy discussing books as well but I don't expect us to read the same book at the same time, turning the pages together. I know to many people it's different, but to me it's the same thing: I'd much rather go see the movie separately (at the same time or not) then meet up (that's when the date starts) and discuss it.

In some cases I also like going to see different movies so each person can tell the other about the one they saw.

[Lyinginbedmon]

A determination has been made that we will venture into a place known as "The Blacksmith" where she will attempt to corrupt me.

I think that means a fun evening.

[Drecon]

Gj Lying

[Lyinginbedmon]

So. It was cold. Very cold. Very unremittingly, bone-chillingly, cold. Which made my decision to forgo a jumper and hoody in favour of a t-shirt and wafer thin jacket for the purpose of looking more stylish than Arctic Explorer rather foolish I admit, but I did alright despite the cold.

Until it started raining. Heavily.

The plan was that we'd meet up by a small clock in the village center then head to the nearby Blacksmith pub for drinks and conversation. I arrived roughly on time after a 30 minute walk from the train station to the clock, and then had to wait quite some time (she later told me she was running late at work), growing all the more paranoid over time, for her to make her appearance. Having only seen one photo of her beforehand there was more than one random passerby that raised my hopes and rapidly dashed them.

I texted her to let her know I'd taken shelter in a chip shop just to the side of the clock and awaited her eventual arrival, which I noted quite swiftly since she stopped in her tracks and, after a moment or two of studying me, it became rather obvious we'd finally found one another. Forgoing introductions for the moment we took shelter in the pub and waited for our limbs to regain sensations beyond pain.

Simply put she's fascinating.

We talked about all manner of things, often with our own levels of foreknowledge about them, from Dante's Inferno to the Irish Troubles, to modern prosthetics. We talked about our siblings, our mad families, and a great many other topics inbetween. Barely a breath went by without us talking about something, it was fantastic.

She smokes, which I admit isn't ideal, but she is trying to cut back and stated that she only remotely chain smokes after busy days at work (as was the case today, she smoked three cigarettes while we were talking and I joined her in the doorway for the latter two). Overall I think the downside of her smoking is far and away overruled by her conversational ability and genuine interest in all the stuff I have to say.

I had to leave after a couple hours to catch my train home, where the rain had not remotely let up. We said our goodbyes, and I heard naught from her in pretty much the entire span of my relentless trek through the icy downpour to the train station.

Then she sent me the message "Thanks for coming through", and my response was that despite all the hardship thrown our way today I couldn't see any reason I wouldn't.

Next time I'll check the weather forecast ahead of time.

[Fezzul]

Nice one, mon

[Laurnil]

Ugh? Why is everyone against smoking? Can't I have one nasty habit? I'm allowed not to be perfect, right?

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

The smell :<

[Master Gunner]

The smell in confined spaces. Outside, I only mind the smell because it makes me itch for a smoke of my own.

[The Jester]

Why not aim for perfection? It'll help immensely with your breathing, too, you know. Maybe start the change by switching to e-cigarette?

[Elomin Sha]

Cigarette smoke upsets my stomach, and if I have an empty stomach it's a lot worse for me. I also lived in a pub as a kid too.

[My pseudonym is Ix]

I don't mind people who smoke, and in fact two of my best friends do, but put it this way: when outside, I try to sit upwind of them.

[JustAName]

I get rather resentful of what I see as people around me damaging my lungs when I work so hard to keep them good :/

[Elomin Sha]

I have been tempted to invest in an oxygen mask if I was with people who smoked.

[Laurnil]

I HATE THOSE E-CIGS!!! I will not get into my visceral hate of those things, but they haven't done studies on them. They could be worse! But, why do I have to be perfect? Not a single guy I've gone out with has been perfect and they didn't have a problem with not being perfect. Why can't it be the same for me.

Also...I'm well aware of the health effects, thank you, and I accept them readily.

[Laurnil]

Also, I'm very thoughtful about my second hand smoke.

[Elomin Sha]

I knew one person who wasn't and would light up in front of me and I would give them a death stare and walk away. When asked why I was going: "You're making me leave the conversation because I hate smoking and you know it."

[The Jester]

I HATE THOSE E-CIGS!!! I will not get into my visceral hate of those things, but they haven't done studies on them. They could be worse! But, why do I have to be perfect? Not a single guy I've gone out with has been perfect and they didn't have a problem with not being perfect. Why can't it be the same for me.

Also...I'm well aware of the health effects, thank you, and I accept them readily.

Ah fair enough. I wasn't advocating perfection on behalf of potential partners, by the way. I realise we're in the Big Relationship Thread, but I was more just thinking if you're so close to perfection anyway why not get there for yourself?

[Laurnil]

Yes, and that person is a dick, which I think is a much bigger problem than being a smoker.

[Laurnil]

I HATE THOSE E-CIGS!!! I will not get into my visceral hate of those things, but they haven't done studies on them. They could be worse! But, why do I have to be perfect? Not a single guy I've gone out with has been perfect and they didn't have a problem with not being perfect. Why can't it be the same for me.

Also...I'm well aware of the health effects, thank you, and I accept them readily.

Ah fair enough. I wasn't advocating perfection on behalf of potential partners, by the way. I realise we're in the Big Relationship Thread, but I was more just thinking if you're so close to perfection anyway why not get there for yourself?

I need a few flaws. Being perfect is tiring.

[Darkobra]

The smell. The fact that I have problems with my lungs which I've had since birth and the smoke actually gives me infections. The waste of money and the fact that nobody is born actually needing to smoke anything, ever.

You can justify alcohol but you can't justify burning leaves and inhaling the smoke and blowing 80% of it back into the air around you for everyone else to inhale.

[Fezzul]

I actually don't mind smoking, and I kind of like the smell a lot of the time.

I would never smoke myself, but other people have made the decision, so it's not my job to deal with it, it's theirs. I only mind of they smoke around children.

[Duckay]

I'm kind of iffy on that. Sure, no one is born needing to smoke, but no one is born needing to do a great many things that have potential negative impacts on our lives that we do anyway.

The counter argument to this, of course, is that smoking has a more negative impact on other people than other bad habits that someone might have, or that the negative impacts on themselves are more extreme than a lot of other bad habits. Those are fair.

At the end of the day, I don't love smoking. Not many people do. But I respect that there are reasons people smoke (often, started young and can't kick the habit) and I don't really begrudge them that.

[Deedles]

When I smoked I went through great efforts to not smoke around people who didn't and wished not to be doused in smoke. Oh, and never around children. People who smoke around children need to be socked one.