In my usual pattern, I am back because I'm not feeling great. This is about half a vent, half a little advice request.
So I've been dating the gentleman we will call B since mid-December. It's been going great! I've met all his friends, met his family, everyone apparently likes me, I get along with all of them, great. He hasn't really met any of my friends because I don't have local friends, and he hasn't met my family because they live 2 hours away and he lives in town with his. The 45-60 minute commute between where we live hasn't been a problem, just an annoyance, since we don't really see each other mid week.
Okay. Thing that has been bugging me a little bit. I'm letting him set the pace for what words we use to describe this thing. And he is still insisting that we are just dating (admittedly exclusively) and I'm not his girlfriend, last time I asked (about a month ago). This is something I was going to ask again this weekend, but it's like, dude, almost four months.
Well, I didn't get to ask that. It was his birthday this last week so we were supposed to have a quiet dinner and I was going to make a cake at his place tonight. Key word, supposed to. Basically, it comes down to, yesterday I was super exhausted, so didn't really want to but had to postpone leaving my place until this morning. Then this morning I give him a bit of a warning text that I'm almost ready to leave and he says I can't leave until my "work is done".
I am still furious at this comment. The implication that I don't know how to manage my time, that he doesn't respect my decisions in my work-life balance, though he's never been in grad school and he graduated uni 6 years ago. It's been over 5 hours and I'm still thoroughly pissed. I let him know exactly how I felt. I took a little time to come up with a level response instead of basically yelling, but I let him know in no uncertain terms that I'm pissed and he should consider that it's not in my best interest to be around someone who doesn't respect me.
I do miss him, though. I really still want to see him, but if he showed up on my doorstep (the only means by which I'd see him this weekend, I'm still too fucking angry to drive out there) I might just punch him in the nose for that comment.
So I am sitting here, not considering breaking it off, but contemplating how to handle how he reacts. Like, does he actually stop and consider why what he said hurt me? Or does he just fall back into defensive, "you're just sensitive" mode, which has happened once before and I nearly slapped him for it. If it's the latter? Then yeah, it's over, because I'm not going to deal with that.
So my requests for advice/opinions are on: not using gf/bf at ~4 months, weird? Red flag? How would you handle the fallout from this, pending either (broad category of) response?
Thanks y'all, you're generally pretty level-headed folk, and I admit I'm still seething at the moment, though I tried to give an accurate and not too emotionally charged account of the events as they happened.