The Big Relationship Thread

[Elomin Sha]

Noooooooooooooo!

[Laurnil]

You actually don't seem that devastated by it. Do you secretly like my hugs?

[cuddlyblade]

Lol Poor Elomin.

[Elomin Sha]

*Cries in the corner*
Don't look at me.

[cuddlyblade]

Looks at Elomin and laughs

[Elomin Sha]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

Elomin at least you probably aren't crushing on someone who you also need to work out if they're even the appropriate sexuality to begin with.
I'm assuming.

[Keab42]

*hugs Elomin while he's distracted*

One day we will meet in person Elomin, and once we've run out of clubs we can have a proper chat.

[Elomin Sha]

Marrymaker your sentence made no sense.
Keab, I don't go to clubs.

[cuddlyblade]

Marrymaker your sentence made no sense.

Merrymaker made sense to me. They were saying that they had a crush on somebody so they don't know is of a sexuality eg gay,bi and straight that they'd want to go out with them and that at least it wasn't like that for you. Or at least that's what i get from it.

[Keab42]

I wasn't referring to that sort of club...

[Elomin Sha]

Still don't understand.

[Laurnil]

STRIPPERS!!!!....? Or club soda?

[Laurnil]

Marrymaker your sentence made no sense.

Merrymaker made sense to me. They were saying that they had a crush on somebody so they don't know is of a sexuality eg gay,bi and straight that they'd want to go out with them and that at least it wasn't like that for you. Or at least that's what i get from it.

Neither of you are making much sense, but together you do. Are you saying she doesn't know her crush's gender preference?

[Laurnil]

*Cries in the corner*
Don't look at me.

Are you crying because I hugged you or because you like the hugs?

[Lyinginbedmon]

Having met Elomin, I think clubs might indeed be a poor choice.

Perhaps play performances involving Brad running around with his trousers down would be a better option.

[Avistew]

Still don't understand.

I understood both of them. I think they're trying to say "I don't even know if my crush is attracted to my gender. At least you don't have that problem"

[Elomin Sha]

I understand a little better now. Sometimes I get a read error if punctuation is missing. The same thing happened with a letter saying I was accepted to my MA. Had to reread a sentence 5 times before realising they missed a comma.

[Geoff_B]

Marrymaker your sentence made no sense.
Keab, I don't go to clubs.

Marrymaker

Marrymaker

Bit of a freudian slip there?

By which I mean that he makes people marry, not that you want to marry him!

[Elomin Sha]

I was using my phone so it meks minh gd hhij reghio gddhh Mark Nutt...)iythj.

[Fezzul]

I'm using my phone too, I turned on predictive text and it said "Don't bother typing that, Elomin will just kill it with fire."

[Elomin Sha]

I might so something today, weather permitting. There is a storm brewing in the UK.

IT'S A SIGN!

[Laurnil]

I'm sort of upset, but I also sort of asked for. Okay, I literally asked for it, but it still ticks me off.

I'm on a dating site. I think I'm fucking fabulous. I'm really intelligent, thoughtful, kind, loyal, and I'm a demon in the sack. But, I'm not getting responses from guys to whom I send messages. Due to the particular site I am using, I know they are reading my messages and looking at my profile, but they never respond. So, I asked a guy "Okay. So, I've sent you a message, you've had a look over my profile, and for whatever reason, you decided I'm not the one for you. I'm not taking it personal, but could you give me some constructive criticism? I know that sounds odd, but I'm finding that a log of the guys I'm sending messages to are not responding. Is it something about my appearance? My education? If you had to state one major negative aspect of my profile, what would it be?" His response: Lose weight. Health is attractive.

Here's the thing. I'm really fucking healthy. In fact, I have great blood pressure, great cholesterol, my heart is in great condition. I have great muscle mass. I can run up a hill faster than my sister-in-law who is in the military. I can shoot my bow, which most people can't even pull my bow back. I can lift really heavy shit that my male counterparts cannot lift. I eat amazingly well. I don't eat fast food or dairy or processed foods. My favorite foods are strawberries and broccoli. I don't even like candy or soda. In fact, the only thing that is unhealthy about me is my weight and it isn't really unhealthy because I don't have any of the other corresponding health problems associate with being fat.

I'm just fat! I would have to work out all day long and not eat anything to lose most of my weight. Sure, I can drop 10-15 pounds, but that is when my body says, no more! And, then it snaps right back to the weight before, no matter what I'm doing with my exercise or diet.

I hate that people assume that being fat is unhealthy. But, what bothers me is there are all these guys who are matched with me who think this way. Am I doomed to never meet a guy with everything that I want who will see me as more than just my weight? I'm not asking for perfection. A lot of the guys I message are not perfect men. I really just look at their answers to the questions provided to the site and used for matching and are they appropriately grooming themselves? I'm not naive enough to think that looks don't matter. They matter. I have a thing about teeth.

I guess my problem is this: If he had simply said that I was overweight (which I am). I would not be angry right now. It was that he called me unhealthy and told me to lose weight. His response wasn't, I simply don't find you attractive, but more of a I think you're a bad person because of this particular physical trait.

Thoughts?

[Jamfalcon]

The main thing I'd say is it might be a good idea to ask a couple more people. For all you know, it could be some minor thing you've written about yourself that they're misinterpreting that's causing them not to reply, and this one guy was just an anomaly.

[Kortanios]

I'm sort of upset, but I also sort of asked for. Okay, I literally asked for it, but it still ticks me off.

I'm on a dating site. I think I'm fucking fabulous. I'm really intelligent, thoughtful, kind, loyal, and I'm a demon in the sack. But, I'm not getting responses from guys to whom I send messages. Due to the particular site I am using, I know they are reading my messages and looking at my profile, but they never respond. So, I asked a guy "Okay. So, I've sent you a message, you've had a look over my profile, and for whatever reason, you decided I'm not the one for you. I'm not taking it personal, but could you give me some constructive criticism? I know that sounds odd, but I'm finding that a log of the guys I'm sending messages to are not responding. Is it something about my appearance? My education? If you had to state one major negative aspect of my profile, what would it be?" His response: Lose weight. Health is attractive.

Here's the thing. I'm really fucking healthy. In fact, I have great blood pressure, great cholesterol, my heart is in great condition. I have great muscle mass. I can run up a hill faster than my sister-in-law who is in the military. I can shoot my bow, which most people can't even pull my bow back. I can lift really heavy shit that my male counterparts cannot lift. I eat amazingly well. I don't eat fast food or dairy or processed foods. My favorite foods are strawberries and broccoli. I don't even like candy or soda. In fact, the only thing that is unhealthy about me is my weight and it isn't really unhealthy because I don't have any of the other corresponding health problems associate with being fat.

I'm just fat! I would have to work out all day long and not eat anything to lose most of my weight. Sure, I can drop 10-15 pounds, but that is when my body says, no more! And, then it snaps right back to the weight before, no matter what I'm doing with my exercise or diet.

I hate that people assume that being fat is unhealthy. But, what bothers me is there are all these guys who are matched with me who think this way. Am I doomed to never meet a guy with everything that I want who will see me as more than just my weight? I'm not asking for perfection. A lot of the guys I message are not perfect men. I really just look at their answers to the questions provided to the site and used for matching and are they appropriately grooming themselves? I'm not naive enough to think that looks don't matter. They matter. I have a thing about teeth.

I guess my problem is this: If he had simply said that I was overweight (which I am). I would not be angry right now. It was that he called me unhealthy and told me to lose weight. His response wasn't, I simply don't find you attractive, but more of a I think you're a bad person because of this particular physical trait.

Thoughts?

Well, what that guy said was very douchy. It's just ignorance, well, that and stupidity, making assumptions like that is just daft if you ask me... I don't really know what more to say... There are just people out there that want to be judgemental dickheads and/or are used to it so much that they don't notice that it's actually not socially acceptable...

Sciency stuff follows, this is in no way meant to defend what that guy said... There is a certain subconscious logic to being attracted to more lean partners as there is evidence for obese parents passing on epigenetic markers that can negatively influence the offspring's health (not sure what the case for just overweight is though). However to what extent and how important these are is still a matter of discussion. [/sciency stuff] That being said, I am pretty sure that guy was probably not aware of what an epigenetic marker is... And even if he was, there are nice ways to say these things that don't make assumptions about your blood pressure, cholesterol, intramyocellular fat values etc. based on photos.

There is an upside though, would you really want to date the kind of person who would make assumptions like that?

Also, just hang in there

I hope this made at least some sense?