The Big Relationship Thread

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Metcarfre
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Metcarfre » 15 Nov 2010, 12:48

Worst case scenario; she says no, you move on.

It's happened to me on a few occasions, and while it's not pleasant, it's really not as bad as you may think it to be.

Best case scenario? You, her, a unicorn, and peanut butter. Awwww yeah.
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The Jester
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 15 Nov 2010, 13:30

Yeah, I know. I've gotten really rather good at getting over romantic feelings and moving on over the years, that's not the problem. If she doesn't feel the same and doesn't let it be wierd when we're talking then it won't be a problem. I'll just be like "fair does, that's cool" and be able to put it down and move on, no worries.

Most of what was making it difficult for me is that I think but am not sure she feels similarly, and I didn't know how to deal with that.

I've removed the possibility of worrying about it and waiting for that perfect moment in the conversation that would be ideal to bring it up, because I know that moment will never come by sending that message. Now I can't avoid it, and what happens happens. ;)

Also, really? Unicorns and peanut butter? I didn't realise anybody else had that fantasy. ;D
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Digital Dolphin » 16 Nov 2010, 10:07

I should be finding out today if I'm going to the craft fair tomorrow with the girl I asked.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 16 Nov 2010, 16:54

Cool! I hope it's "yes", and that you have a great time. :D
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Digital Dolphin » 16 Nov 2010, 22:01

Sadly it was a no :(

That girl just has too much school work going on lately. She's also SUPER dedicated to her projects. I don't think I know anyone who puts more work and effort into fulfilling their obligations than her. (she's worked for me on a project once, so I've seen this first hand!).

Anyways, I haven't given up yet, but I'm probably going to wait until her course load lightens a bit :P
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 17 Nov 2010, 04:16

Aw, that's too bad. Ah well, wait and see indeed.. in fact, that segues nicely into some Jester NewsTM: Not right now, but maybe when we get to know eachother better. So that's cool. :)
Apparently I'm the first person to tell her/think she's attractive. :o
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby ThrashJazzAssassin » 17 Nov 2010, 04:56

See, it is worth trying! ;)
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The Jester
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 17 Nov 2010, 05:20

Heh, yeah, I know. :D

I'm happy to wait, and hey, if it doesn't work out as we get to know eachother better, well.. no worries. :)
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Theremin
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Theremin » 17 Nov 2010, 08:39

The Jester wrote:Apparently I'm the first person to tell her/think she's attractive.


Odds 10:1 that isn't actually true, but that just makes it nicer to say.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheRocket » 17 Nov 2010, 08:42

Excuses... girls make them so believable and boys fall for them so easily.

She's just not that into you.
Walk in like DeNiro, and leave like Brando.

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dubious_wolf » 17 Nov 2010, 08:43

Ouch straight to the point.
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Theremin
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Theremin » 17 Nov 2010, 08:48

Is he crying? I want for him to cry.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheRocket » 17 Nov 2010, 10:22

Sorry. It's just a LOT a LOT a LOT of girls use the "omg I'm so busy in my life right now" excuse. If you're actually interested in a person you say "I'm really busy this week, how about next monday?" *hypothetically* Which means.. I'm actually busy, but would still like to show you that I'm interested.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Dubious_wolf » 17 Nov 2010, 10:52

Yeah I've gotten this excuse before a number of times. It sucks.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Digital Dolphin » 17 Nov 2010, 12:59

TheRocketSiobhan wrote:Sorry. It's just a LOT a LOT a LOT of girls use the "omg I'm so busy in my life right now" excuse. If you're actually interested in a person you say "I'm really busy this week, how about next monday?" *hypothetically* Which means.. I'm actually busy, but would still like to show you that I'm interested.


Ahh, it was directed at me and NOT Jester then? (I wasn't sure).

I personally hate these kind of things. I'd like to see a world where people actually say what's on their mind. I know it's not going to happen though.

Anyways, the thing about this girl is that when we get together, we tend to spend pretty much every moment together, and usually gravitate away from other people while we do it. And on one previous occasion she even dragged me out to have dinner with her after we'd be hanging out for a while.

I'm not saying there is a romantic interest. Heck I don't even know if *I* feel a romantic interest in her at this point. But I do enjoy her company, and our general behavior together does make me question whether there is potential for something there.
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Theremin
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Theremin » 17 Nov 2010, 13:21

The reason the girl lied instead of saying she didn't want to go out with you is...you're a stranger.

I mean, she didn't know you. You could've been a psycho killer for all she knows.

When rejecting an unknown party, lying is the smart option.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheRocket » 17 Nov 2010, 13:36

Maybe she didn't lie.. but I'm only assuming she did because really.. you DON'T have ONE HOUR anytime in the next MONTH free for a tea or coffee or walk or SOMETHING?

This is coming from someone who has used that excuse.. I used it once and felt HORRIBLE. I even said to the guy "I know this is a bad excuse but I'm jsut really busy with University right now and travel" to which he cut me off and said "Yeah, it is". I think he quickly got the point that it wasn't that I was too busy, it was that I didn't want to make time for him and was coming up with excuses. I wish so bad that I would have said, "Dude, you're great and fun to hang out with, but really you are hung up on your ex and just want a rebound, and I don't want to be that chick. Also, I have no intention of ever sticking your penis inside me" Okay.. maybe without that last part ;)

We are still friends and it's all good now, but for the first year or so after that it was super awkward. I wished I was just up front in telling him I wasn't interested.. it would have saved me the next 3 times of him asking me out and me making awkward excuses. Needless to say I've never made an excuse after that.

I have no idea what this chick you're after can handle, so maybe she really is just bogged down and can't even bear the thought of adding another thing to scheduale in. But.. don't be naive and don't let her use you for when it's convienent.
Walk in like DeNiro, and leave like Brando.

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Theremin » 17 Nov 2010, 13:39

Unless it's for sex, Dolphin.

Unless it's for sex.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheRocket » 17 Nov 2010, 13:50

-_-
Walk in like DeNiro, and leave like Brando.

You're living proof that Darwin was a moron.
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Theremin
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Theremin » 17 Nov 2010, 14:03

-_0 WINK
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Digital Dolphin » 17 Nov 2010, 14:05

TheRocketSiobhan wrote:I have no idea what this chick you're after can handle, so maybe she really is just bogged down and can't even bear the thought of adding another thing to scheduale in. But.. don't be naive and don't let her use you for when it's convienent.


Yup, and that's fair. If I were in your position I'd probably think the exact same thing. I do appreciate the concern as well, especially since I've been a little prone to being taken advantage of by women in the past.

Some of this might also be cleared up if I mention she is an artist? Specifically one who tends to get tunnel vision when working on a project near deadline, and her school is giving her no end of those right now. I'm also not the only person she's been unable to spend time with (we have several mutual friends).
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheRocket » 17 Nov 2010, 15:19

Eh..that excuse doesn't budge me because I'm an artist, and was in the middle of shooting and editing a calendar, 5 cd/press package photo shoots, putting together and maning a punk/metalmusic award show for 700 people, doing radio interviews and maintaining a life with friends, family, work and school I started dating Wraith.

I suppose everyone has their limit, but the artist thing doesn't make me think any different.
Walk in like DeNiro, and leave like Brando.

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Digital Dolphin » 17 Nov 2010, 15:32

TheRocketSiobhan wrote:Eh..that excuse doesn't budge me because I'm an artist, and was in the middle of shooting and editing a calendar, 5 cd/press package photo shoots, putting together and maning a punk/metalmusic award show for 700 people, doing radio interviews and maintaining a life with friends, family, work and school I started dating Wraith.

I suppose everyone has their limit, but the artist thing doesn't make me think any different.


Touche! :shock:

I have to say though, you set the bar pretty high with that!
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The Jester
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 17 Nov 2010, 16:06

I dunno how much of Siobhan's initial point about excuses from girls was aimed at me, but I assume it was kinda aimed at both myself and Dolphin.

I've been given no reason to doubt this girl's integrity, and I do not believe she's lying to me. The possibility hand't even entered my head untill it was brought up here.

But you know what? Even if she was, I don't loose. Even if she was just putting me off because she really wasn't interested, all I did was say "Hey, I like you. We should hang out more and see if anything happens" and she, essentially, agreed to just that.


General point here:
If a girl lies because she doesn't want to hang out and get to know me better? Well, her loss. ;)
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Digital Dolphin » 17 Nov 2010, 16:16

The Jester wrote:But you know what? Even if she was, I don't loose. Even if she was just putting me off because she really wasn't interested, all I did was say "Hey, I like you. We should hang out more and see if anything happens" and she, essentially, agreed to just that.


General point here:
If a girl lies because she doesn't want to hang out and get to know me better? Well, her loss. ;)


I have a very similar opinion :wink:
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