The Big Relationship Thread

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Lyinginbedmon
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 22 Sep 2013, 14:42

"A few plot twists away" describes a lot of things in my experience
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General Michi
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 22 Sep 2013, 14:46

First, props to drunk you for being so cool about everything, getting drunk is all well and good (in context) but you stick to your morals and that makes you and excellent human being.

Second, props to sober you for being a totally awesome friend for all these years. I understand it can be hard when someone in a relationship out rightly says that if they were single they'd be with you, that shit stings but it's important that you don't linger on it, it can really pull you down if you let it.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Fezzul » 22 Sep 2013, 15:06

It hasn't depressed me. Quite the opposite, it's made me feel very good about myself. But more and more I'm seeing myself for who I am to the people who know me, and it seems that I garner a lot of love and affection. And it's strange that that hasn't translated in to something romantic yet. But I'm on track as far as being a good human being goes.

To quote Hawkeye Pierce "Someday, you'll meet someone, and you'll give them a gift you've been working on your whole life. Yourself. Now I hate to have to say this at this point, but will you take down your pants?"
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby OMGItsSarah » 22 Sep 2013, 18:46

Uh well that went about as well as it could have gone, we made it official.

!!!
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby ex-Lurker » 22 Sep 2013, 19:03

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Best of luck!
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby OMGItsSarah » 22 Sep 2013, 20:46

Thanks!

Excellent use of that GIF.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby iamafish » 23 Sep 2013, 01:36

wooooooooooo yeah :) go sarah

@Fezzul: Good work, you sound like a fantastic friend who cares more about your friendship than your amorous feeling for this girl. That's good. However, and I'm sure this is not the case, make sure you don't let the fact that you could be (and by the sounds of things) want to be going out with this girl if the situation was different stop you from trying to find someone else special in your life :)
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 23 Sep 2013, 01:56

Go Sarah! :D
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Drecon » 23 Sep 2013, 04:19

My legs are currently killing me. Moved my girlfriend this weekend and apparently the apartment she is now in has six stairs and no elevator...
Me, ever being the tough guy, made sure to try to carry all the most heavy stuff (just can't help myself) and now my muscles just won't really perform anymore.

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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 23 Sep 2013, 04:25

D'awwwwwwwwwwww
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 23 Sep 2013, 04:48

Attempted to ask out a girl I know the other day. She said "sorry, not at the moment."

What made her think she had to say sorry? I was the one who couldn't force a bunch of words out of my stupid face for the past four years. I mean, it's good to have my question answered after all this time but now I just feel bad because the look on her face when she said sorry was like I'd told her that a kitten had been hit by a car. She's a lovely person and a good friend, but damn I feel bad about that fucking sad look on her face. Why?
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 23 Sep 2013, 04:51

It's not easy turning down a friend. If she looked gutted then I imagine it's because she doesn't like hurting a friend.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 23 Sep 2013, 04:52

But hey, keep your chin up man, what ever may happen in the future we're all rooting for you :D
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 23 Sep 2013, 04:55

Rooting means a different thing where you come from, doesn't it?

I kid, thanks for the supprot bro.
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Darkobra » 23 Sep 2013, 04:55

She felt bad because she thought you'd take it pretty hard. She doesn't want you to end up hurt, so she's sorry for making you feel bad.

I always say that when I get asked out too. "Sorry, I'm already with someone." Or "Sorry, I'm just not looking for a relationship. I've got to focus on getting my life in order first."

It's because you know the other person is probably gonna take a blow to their confidence but that's not what you want. You just either don't want to be in a relationship or you don't feel that person is compatible with you as more than a friend.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 23 Sep 2013, 04:58

TheGhostOfZero wrote:Rooting means a different thing where you come from, doesn't it?


I know what it means to you lot. You and your ilk are wrong and sick and I wouldn't have it any other way ;)
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 23 Sep 2013, 05:06

General Michi wrote:
TheGhostOfZero wrote:Rooting means a different thing where you come from, doesn't it?


I know what it means to you lot. You and your ilk are wrong and sick and I wouldn't have it any other way ;)
Everyone's in an abusive relationship with Australia
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby iamafish » 23 Sep 2013, 05:10

TheGhostOfZero wrote:Attempted to ask out a girl I know the other day. She said "sorry, not at the moment."

What made her think she had to say sorry? I was the one who couldn't force a bunch of words out of my stupid face for the past four years. I mean, it's good to have my question answered after all this time but now I just feel bad because the look on her face when she said sorry was like I'd told her that a kitten had been hit by a car. She's a lovely person and a good friend, but damn I feel bad about that fucking sad look on her face. Why?


Along with the other things everyone else has said (rejecting someone you know well is always hard), are there any mitigating circumstances? Maybe something going on in her life that means she's not ready for a relationship at the moment, or doesn't want to commit? It might be worth talking to her in a bit more detail. I mean she said 'not at the moment' so that sort of implies that there might be a chance for the two of you sometime in the future. As I said, I don't know enough about the situation to say anything in more detail though.

Also, yes, 'rooting' means something very different in the northern hemisphere. It means we're on your side and hope you succeed, not the other thing... (bonk bonk, for those who don't know the vagaries of antipodean slang)

@Drecon: and they say chivalry is dead, good work. I hope she rewards/has rewarded you with rubs and sexual favours :)
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby TheGhostOfZero » 23 Sep 2013, 05:17

iamafish wrote:
TheGhostOfZero wrote:Attempted to ask out a girl I know the other day. She said "sorry, not at the moment."

What made her think she had to say sorry? I was the one who couldn't force a bunch of words out of my stupid face for the past four years. I mean, it's good to have my question answered after all this time but now I just feel bad because the look on her face when she said sorry was like I'd told her that a kitten had been hit by a car. She's a lovely person and a good friend, but damn I feel bad about that fucking sad look on her face. Why?


Along with the other things everyone else has said (rejecting someone you know well is always hard), are there any mitigating circumstances? Maybe something going on in her life that means she's not ready for a relationship at the moment, or doesn't want to commit? It might be worth talking to her in a bit more detail. I mean she said 'not at the moment' so that sort of implies that there might be a chance for the two of you sometime in the future. As I said, I don't know enough about the situation to say anything in more detail though.

Also, yes, 'rooting' means something very different in the northern hemisphere. It means we're on your side and hope you succeed, not the other thing... (bonk bonk, for those who don't know the vagaries of antipodean slang)

@Drecon: and they say chivalry is dead, good work. I hope she rewards/has rewarded you with rubs and sexual favours :)
We've exams coming up, but when I suggested that she still said she's not interested in anyone at the moment. *shrugs*\

I know what "rooting" means to you folk, I was teasing d:
/fingergun
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby OMGItsSarah » 23 Sep 2013, 07:33

iamafish wrote:wooooooooooo yeah :) go sarah


General Michi wrote:Go Sarah! :D


Thanks! =D I'm super duper happy.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Fezzul » 23 Sep 2013, 08:24

Drecon wrote:My legs are currently killing me. Moved my girlfriend this weekend.


When I first read this, I thought you were making some comment about her weight. I laughed.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby General Michi » 23 Sep 2013, 08:38

I didn't want to be the first person to say that :P
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby Hepheastus » 27 Sep 2013, 01:46

This post is kinda delayed because...lazy

I just want to say thanks to the people who gave me advice a while back, you were all a big help :)
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby The Jester » 27 Sep 2013, 03:29

I think I need to break things off with my girlfriend. I can't take the stress any more. For virtually the entirety of our relationship she's been from one crisis to another, and they never stop coming. I'm emotionally exhausted and I can't keep giving as much of myself as I have.

A bunch of these things that have been going wrong are down to bad luck, and another bunch are due to shitty, untrustworthy people in her life actively being gigantic, selfish dicks. But a bunch of these problems are simply down to what I thing is poor judgement on her part (and I suppose you could call the fact that she's kept those awful non-friends in her life a choice she's made in poor judgement too).

My ability to study is being affected; I can't concentrate in lessons because it's constantly at the back of my mind; wondering how she is, how she's coping, whether she's been able to solve things, and what's going to go wrong next.

I'm also much more withdrawn from all the people around me, and even all the lovely people I know online (though I've never been very talkative online in any case). I've also stopped making art, and I find it difficult to get motivated to create anything or get on with things I know need doing (and though I've always struggled with those things on-and-off anyway, too, I feel like the reason this time is my current relationship).

There's a bunch of other things from her past that make me uncomfortable to varying levels and which wouldn't - shouldn't - be a problem otherwise... if not for this constant stream of issues. They compact things, and compound my ill feelings. Decisions she's made, or decisions she'd be willing to make... I just worry how much/how long these problems would follow her during the course of our relationship. Would she just find more unsavoury leeches here to keep around herself, once she moves? Would I have to deal with a hoard of fair-weather assholes hanging around, constantly asking for handouts?

As it stands it doesn't seem (from what I can tell) like she's got anybody else like me; truly supportive and caring, in her life. And to remove myself seems like a completely unfair and unpleasant thing to do... but there comes a time when you have to do things for your own sake, right?


I don't want to cause her the pain that my ending our relationship would cause, and I really, really want her problems to cease and for her to be able to get back on her feet and move forwards. But just at the moment I don't feel like I can manage to remain so close any more.
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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Postby iamafish » 27 Sep 2013, 03:35

you certainly shouldn't stay together only for the sake of not hurting her feelings. Ultimately, your life is your own, and if you think you'd be better off without her, then I see no reason not to end it (if things really are as bad as you say). I mean the only reason for staying with her and trying to help her work through her problems would be if you still love her (or if you ever did, I'm not sure where you are or were at with the relationship). If you do love her then she should be worth the stress and anxiety just to see her happy, if not, then there's no point being in a relationship which is just weighing you down with stress and anxiety.
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