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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 29 Sep 2013, 09:51
by ex-Lurker
cuddlyblade wrote:
The Jester wrote:Also, I'd be worried about cuddling a blade. ;)


O there's no need to be worried like in most situations you just need to be careful around the pointed part and you'd be fine. :wink:

When I read that I automatically wondered "does he mean the horns or the trident, then oh, I'm an idiot".
I blame your profile picture

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 29 Sep 2013, 16:31
by cuddlyblade
Laurnil wrote:Also, I like the pointy part. ;)

Don't we all! :P

ex-Lurker wrote:When I read that I automatically wondered "does he mean the horns or the trident, then oh, I'm an idiot". I blame your profile picture

Just the horns and trident? Not the tail? That's pretty pointy too. Awh :cry: how could you blame such a cute little devil? It ain't his fault the way your brain works. :wink:

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 29 Sep 2013, 19:57
by Pikachaos
OMG Jester, I am so proud of you for calling. That sounds like the most terrifying thing in the universe, and not in a million years could I have gotten up the courage to do it. I have trouble calling recruiters for jobs!

I'm fine in person and typing, but for some off reason, phone calls are terrifying.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 29 Sep 2013, 20:13
by Pikachaos
Also, on my relationship:
It's going really great. We still haven't fought yet, though I cried one night because I was really, really stressed from everything happening in my life and was feeling very alone because he works a LOT, and then he thought I was mad at him because I was ignoring him as not to cry. Not one of my best reactions to being sad.

I feel a lot better now though, about my days in general. I've learned how to keep myself busy when I'm staying with him in Vancouver.

I am having a bit of trouble though with my knowledge of how relationships work in general. Because of the fact that whenever I'm up in Vancouver I live with him, which has been... 3 months of dating and maybe 5 weeks of living with him? [if I counted right], it feels like we've been dating a LOT longer than that. He's so awesome and everything is so great, but we haven't really had the TALK yet. Like the talk about what this relationship is, and what we expect from it. I really don't know if he sees this relationship as us just having a really good time with each other, or if it's like... for the long haul.

I mean, I'm 18, I don't need him to assure me I'm having kids soon, like his older girlfriends have wanted. In fact that's the LAST thing I want [literally]. But, I wouldn't mind knowing if he expects us to be dating for a year or 7 or 20.

I don't really know when I'm supposed to bring that up to him.

We also haven't said "I love you", and I'm used to guys who say it pretty much right away. I want to know if he'll never love me, or if it's just time. Again, I don't need any answer in particular. I'd be okay if he told me he wanted an open relationship that's super casual, I just want to know what to expect.

TL;DR, what's the usual prodocall after a few months in a relationship? Usual timeline for things for figuring out if it's a serious relationship or not?

Wow this was long.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 29 Sep 2013, 21:50
by Phailhammer
I've been in a relationship for about four and a half months now. We have talked about what we expect from it, where it's heading, etc. especially in the past couple of weeks. The main problems we have are the distance between us, and the fact we can't meet in person for quite a while.

Pikachaos wrote:We also haven't said "I love you"


It could very well just be time; it took me longer than it should have to actually say that, and just showing more affection in general. I really wanted to, but I just had trouble doing it.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 29 Sep 2013, 22:56
by Elomin Sha
The protocol should be grab him by the shoulders, shake him like a martini and say 'love me' then have chicken nuggets and chicolate cake for dinner.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 00:58
by TheGhostOfZero
One of my best friends is getting hitched. Just emailed me out of the blue to tell me.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 04:30
by RedNightmare
@Pika: I would say the right time to talk about it is if one of the two feels like talking about it, which it seems you do.

If you want to know what type of relationship this is, so you don't have the wrong expectations, then I don't see why you couldn't talk about it now?

Granted, I don't know much about relationships, but that's just my two cents.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 05:30
by Elomin Sha
I think Pika's boufriend is too busy playing cookie cutter to take notice.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 06:07
by TheGhostOfZero
Elomin Sha wrote:I think Pika's boufriend is too busy playing cookie cutter to take notice.
sick buuuurn *high-five*

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 06:17
by Laurnil
Pikachaos wrote:Also, on my relationship:
It's going really great. We still haven't fought yet, though I cried one night because I was really, really stressed from everything happening in my life and was feeling very alone because he works a LOT, and then he thought I was mad at him because I was ignoring him as not to cry. Not one of my best reactions to being sad.

I feel a lot better now though, about my days in general. I've learned how to keep myself busy when I'm staying with him in Vancouver.

I am having a bit of trouble though with my knowledge of how relationships work in general. Because of the fact that whenever I'm up in Vancouver I live with him, which has been... 3 months of dating and maybe 5 weeks of living with him? [if I counted right], it feels like we've been dating a LOT longer than that. He's so awesome and everything is so great, but we haven't really had the TALK yet. Like the talk about what this relationship is, and what we expect from it. I really don't know if he sees this relationship as us just having a really good time with each other, or if it's like... for the long haul.

I mean, I'm 18, I don't need him to assure me I'm having kids soon, like his older girlfriends have wanted. In fact that's the LAST thing I want [literally]. But, I wouldn't mind knowing if he expects us to be dating for a year or 7 or 20.

I don't really know when I'm supposed to bring that up to him.

We also haven't said "I love you", and I'm used to guys who say it pretty much right away. I want to know if he'll never love me, or if it's just time. Again, I don't need any answer in particular. I'd be okay if he told me he wanted an open relationship that's super casual, I just want to know what to expect.

TL;DR, what's the usual prodocall after a few months in a relationship? Usual timeline for things for figuring out if it's a serious relationship or not?

Wow this was long.


Pika, I know you don't know me and I don't really know you, but here is some advice:

You say you're 18 and I say slow your roll. Take your time. You are going to be an entirely different person at 21 and then another completely different person at 28. This person cannot be the person you spend your life with IF you try to immediately jump into love. What's the worst thing that has ever happened in his life? Politically, what do you believe and how different or similar is he? There are so many things that you will be finding out about yourself at this point in your life, the smartest thing is share those things with this person.

Also, don't say "I love you" until you've had that first fight. You can't know if you love him until you've seen him at his worst. Right now feels amazing. I know. But, eventually, that amazing feeling does and has to give way to everyday life. How do you two function regarding mundane things?

There is no right time to have the "Talk." Actually, there shouldn't even be a "Talk." You should be expressing how you feel and you guys should be talking about it. Don't bottle it all in and wait for that talk.

The fact that he hasn't said "I love you" yet could be a good thing. It could mean those words matter very much to him. But, it could also mean that he doesn't feel that way about you, which also isn't necessarily bad. He's with you. He obviously feels something and he could be mature enough just to let that grow. But, you have to ask him about it. None of us are ever going to know.

And, here is my advice as a divorce attorney. Don't get married until you've dated for 5 years and full on lived together for 2 years (whether during that 5 years or not). Don't get pregnant before that time either. I know this is a lot to put on you, but know your body, which includes knowing how to properly prevent pregnancy. If those prevention methods are against your belief system, don't have sex. I say all this because I see so many divorce and paternity actions that start out that way. It may feel really great now, but when it costs you $5,000 to break away from that person, that's not going to feel so good. Also, there can never be a clean break when there is a child involved.

Just some friendly advice, take it or leave it.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 06:58
by Elomin Sha
Added advice if it all goes wrong set fires...many many fires. I can dispose if the body with my bag.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:09
by Laurnil
Elomin Sha wrote:Added advice if it all goes wrong set fires...many many fires. I can dispose if the body with my bag.


This is arson and murder; don't do it. Also, especially don't do it if you're in a state that has the death penalty because you can get the death penalty.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:11
by Elomin Sha
You obviously don't know how Pika dispatches her enemies.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:13
by Laurnil
Elomin Sha wrote:You obviously don't know how Pika dispatches her enemies:


You obviously don't know how statements like
Elomin Sha wrote: if it all goes wrong set fires...many many fires. I can dispose if the body with my bag.
can open you up to civil liability.

I'm protecting your interests, Elomin.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:15
by Elomin Sha
I do. I also have a thread of evidence in my favour.

*Runs around with flag*
Woooo imaginary safety!

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:17
by Laurnil
*pats Elomin on the head* *shakes own head*

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:22
by Lord Chrusher
I find the combination of Elomin Sha being Elomin Sha and Laurnil responding earnestly amusing. However I suppose you are right Laurnil.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:29
by Elomin Sha
You can't stop me! I'm all over it! DYY! It's up 46%. You were there snd you were there...I don't think you were there. Freeeeeedom!

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:30
by Master Gunner
Eh, when has anything bad ever come from saying something stupid on the internet?

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:32
by Laurnil
*Shrug* What can you do?

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:34
by Elomin Sha
Revel in my majesty. Bow to me mortals!

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:34
by Ptangmatik
Usually? Drink.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:35
by Laurnil
Elomin Sha wrote:Revel in my majesty. Bow to me mortals!


Hahaha....no, sweetie. *pats on head*

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 30 Sep 2013, 07:36
by Fezzul
Laurnil and Elomin, the new Eric and Ernie of the LRR forums.