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Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 06:24
by KiteNeravar
Laurnil wrote:
I use OKCupid.
The 3 scores thing has thrown me off a bit. Is both a high Match score and a high Friend score good to have? Is the friend score only important if you are looking for friends or is it also important if you are looking for relationships?

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 06:31
by Lyinginbedmon
I'd certainly call it an ideal, since the two measures differ and you might find that someone with a high Match % and a low Friend % is cool to date for a bit but lacking for a long-term relationship.

Basically one score is "percentage of things you have in common in general" and the other is "percentage of romantically-relevant things you have in common"

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 06:37
by Laurnil
I suspect that is really up to what you want in a mate. I just suggest don't have a high match and a high enemy score. OKCupid is meant to find "friends" as well as mates, so I'm guessing it is to determine friendships. I only look at the match and enemy numbers.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 06:39
by Laurnil
AND, I also read what questions we differ on because while numbers are nice, I find some people's answers make that person an absolute no. Oh, so you think rape is okay if you're married? Yea, you're not for me.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 06:58
by Bebop Man
KiteNeravar wrote:The 3 scores thing has thrown me off a bit. Is both a high Match score and a high Friend score good to have? Is the friend score only important if you are looking for friends or is it also important if you are looking for relationships?


I never gave the scoring system much thought. Profile speaks higher for people. The scoring system is based on how similar your answers are to each other's. So, basically, it gauges how "alike" you are in several counts and hypothetical scenarios. Which may or may not be a good thing. Some people are convinced it's all about being as different from each other as possible, while others say the exact opposite. And I have no idea how this works. All I know is ANY relationship you're in, romantic or not, benefits if there's a mutual sense of humor. That's so, so important.

Anyway, I met my girlfriend through OkCupid and apparently we're 85% "match", 71% "friend" and 17% "enemy". I don't know how good or bad that is, but works for me.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:08
by KiteNeravar
So a
Match %99
Friend %91
Enemy %1
is probably a good thing?

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:11
by Lyinginbedmon
Probably

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:17
by Laurnil
Probably, but like Bebop says, you should read the profile. The last guy I was dating had a 96% match. He broke up with me. You have to take into account the fact that they might have answered 10 of the same questions you have and answered 9/10 exactly like you and another sort of similarly. Those numbers can be deceptive.

Also, whether people agree or disagree about the importance of a similar mate, peer-reviewed, psychological study after peer-reviewed, psychological study shows that similarity is the bedrock of a good relationship.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:25
by Bebop Man
Probably, sure. But like I said I never gave the scoring system much cred, I just clicked her profile because I thought she looked gorgeous and from there contacted her because her profile had my kind of sense of humor. Human relations aren't math. And who we are in polls is not exactly the same as who we are in real life. Not that I would lie, but sometimes you answer one thing on a technicality even though you don't feel strongly about it. But 99% are good odds, obviously.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:26
by viscomica
I think I can agree with Bebop and Laurnil: the profile is important. But, hey! if you have a good hunch about another user just message them. ;) Get back to us on that!

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:27
by Elomin Sha
No one message me.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:28
by Bebop Man
Try messaging some first, it's not like you have anything to lose.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:28
by viscomica
Bebop Man wrote:Probably, sure. But like I said I never gave the scoring system much cred, I just clicked her profile because I thought she looked gorgeous and from there contacted her because her profile had my kind of sense of humor. Human relations aren't math. And who we are in polls is not exactly the same as who we are in real life. Not that I would lie, but sometimes you answer one thing on a technicality even though you don't feel strongly about it. But 99% are good odds, obviously.


Awww :)

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:31
by viscomica
Elomin Sha wrote:No one message me.


Mesage someone! :) There's no reason why you shouldn't take the initiative.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:37
by KiteNeravar
So more research required
252 same questions answered
2 Unacceptable answers
Likes to camp
Likes Marvel and superhero movies
Laughs Easily
Good choice of TV shows (Doctor Who, Psych, etc)
Loves bad puns

Well I should Probably message her

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:42
by Bebop Man
Ask her if she liked Green Lantern. That's a deal breaker.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 07:54
by viscomica
If she did she's probably a robot... beware!

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 08:04
by Bebop Man
A fembot.

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 08:05
by viscomica
To be more precise, yes

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 09:04
by KiteNeravar
Hey! I kind of tolerated Green Lantern

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 09:11
by Fezzul
(Leaves LRR forums forever)

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 09:21
by Bebop Man
Fine, I'll draw the line at "kind of tolerated".

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 09:23
by Laurnil
What were the two unacceptable answers and how unacceptable were they?

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 09:29
by Bebop Man
Did they involve abortion and euthanasia, or who would win in a fight, Superman vs. Batman?

Re: The Big Relationship Thread

Posted: 07 Oct 2013, 09:31
by Laurnil
Also, how does someone have issues with sex (feels guilty, doesn't want to have sex before marriage, etc) and wants 3-4 kids have a compatibility of 87% with me? So...again, take those matches with a grain of salt.