Misty wrote:AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, ON-TOPIC POSTS; THOUSANDS OF THEM!
(errr, at least just the one, to start out, anyway)
I was in a sort-of relationship for just over a year that was not entirely healthy for me (lots of me giving my whole self to him with little to no reciprocation) that I just ended. Surprisingly, no tears were shed... I think that says something profound about the situation in general, and how much I've grown up without realizing it. I love that now I can take a deep breath and not have to worry about someone outside of myself controlling how I feel with the slightest thing. It's pretty awesome. I know that I'll get those twinges of loneliness/missing him, but they'll be temporary. Now, I want to focus on myself. If someone comes along and wants to be with me, that's great, but I'm not going out of my way to seek anyone this time around. I'll let the guys come to me
Way to go. "Mr. Playa" didn't seem like your type anyway.
Alja-Markir wrote:Your problem is you're trying to produce relationship sublimation.
You want to jump from from the acquiantances phase directly to the significant others phase, skipping over the intermediary friends phase. Just as in physics, this is more difficult than going in sequence. For many situations, it is actually impossible.
Now, like in physics, there are certain materials that will readily sublime, but they require the right conditions. There are also some materials that typically will actually almost only sublime, never going through the intermediary phase. These are few in number, however, and their applications are specialized.
I disagree. I think it's harder to try and make friends first, because if the first impression you put in her head is "I'm your friend," it's likely that's all you're ever gonna be. It's sad, but true. The first few days, and especially the first impression, are everything.