However, and this is key, when I thought "animal" I thought bear, which knowing this had happened before. I faced down either he or one of his kin this summer, when I made the foolish mistake of telling my parents that I'd heard animals going through the garbage and was forced to go check. I'd ran back inside (or, better put, once I got inside; outside I had backed away slowly, trying to show as best I could that I meant this bear no harm, and then bolted up the stairs). Once back upstairs, I had told my parents that, after much deliberation, I had decided that the bear was welcome to stay until it had had it's fill, and we could handle it in the morning.
My brother, however, when saying "animal", had thought of natures adorabliest feral bandit, the raccoon.
He practically had a coniption when he had found out it was a bear and was horrified as we watched this bear dismantle our garbage and offer some to my Prius. It treated it as a sleeping beast, and, I had known, was the reason the bear was not there when we exited the car. Even if you way half a ton, would you mess with a 2 ton demonic gold specter with burning eyes of fire (had the old brights on), running around on round rubber feet (just like a wolf!)? Nope.
I heard him some back, however, and went, and bang, there he was: A bear. So, of course, I woke up everyone in the house, and we went and watched him till he took his leave, and we all agreed:
"That is seriously a bear."
It was cool, horrifying, hilarious and annoying, all in what relatively speaking from our frame of reference seemed to be a moment of simultaneity. My brother also used the same voice to impersonate me and the bear ( A voice, I may add that he normally uses for our 13 lb Lhasa-Apso:
Alex......so, it was fairly silly) and discussing whether or not I should set off the alarm on my Prius to scare it off. I decided I like my 2010 Prius to remain shiny and new, so we did not. It has come back once more, and I can only hope that it doesn't key the car like some asshole scroogey grinchy black bear, and go off galavanting. I await the arrival of the shark kin and the epic ensuing battle in the near future, but for now, Merry Christmas, and good night...
Don't let the Black Bears Bite.
EDIT: the black bear was just eating a bag of garbage when the top of the bag unraveled (he'd made his own hole) and surprised the hell out of him. I gotta admit, kind of adorable.
also, although I'm sure there must be a thread to this effect, feel free to share your personal bear stories in this thread.
