1 Year, 100 Movies, 100 Words Apiece (100/100)

[korri]

I have been tempted to see When in Rome solely because I love Kristen Bell... is it worth it?

[King Kool]

If you like Kristen Bell, you will almost certainly like this movie.

[King Kool]

Man, not seeing a movie for three weeks really puts your behind. Who coulda guessed thirteen was an unlucky number?

Movie 13: Cop Out - Why are the black cops in buddy cop movies always the silly ones? Why do divorced women always seem to marry someone much richer than their first husband? How many real cops pursue a case while they're suspended? How many threaten to torture a tattoo artist to get information? How many do sting operations in a silly costume? Why are drug dealers always nasty and robbers or shysters allowed to be merely eccentric? Why do so many movies end at a wedding? Is it funny to quote a movie and then boldfacedly tell us the title? Slightly amusing, unforgivably cliche.

Movie 14: Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - Chris Columbus has one of the more startlingly erratic directorial resumes. Sometimes as good as Harry Potter, or bad as Beth Cooper. This is much more the former, and not just because of the supernatural stuff. This is a very quick and energetic movie, following the adventures of a few demigods. Yeah, it's silly, but it's also a lot of fun for what it is. I don't think it's going to appeal to most adults who aren't either bringing a kid or big fans of either fantasy or Harry Potter. Lots of celebs in this movie; it's a bit distracting.

[tamaness]

Spoiler warning.

Percy Jackson was interesting, and amusing for a quick "let's go see a movie" day. I didn't go in with any expectations at all, as I am not familiar with the source material. The movie was fun; just enough action, funny, and just a smidge of awkward. There are a couple things that stand out pretty badly to me, though. The largest of which is they cut out the end of the story, just like in Harry Potter. The titular character doesn't go back to living his old life, enriched from what he learned about himself and others in the fantastical world; he stays living in the fantasy. It's another terrible subversion of the hero's journey. This one even fits the pattern better; Percy can make his life better afterwards, but stays in the camp of make-believe instead of going back and living with his mother.

It was a fun movie, and one I can see myself watching again, but I think I prefer the hero's journey stories that have the third act intact, rather than glossed over or subverted.

[King Kool]

Movie 15: Alice In Wonderland - I saw this in IMAX 3D. Every time I see a 3D movie, I say I won't do it again. Something that never happened during Avatar: I got bored, and tipped my head to one side, thus breaking the 3D illusion. HOW can I watch something like this and I'm most interested in the pulchritude of the protagonist? The art design is marvelous, but this pseudosequel isn't worth telling, no matter how elaborately. Depp is not effective as the Mad Hatter. American McGee at least had the balls to go all the way and not cowtow to Disney's family baloney.

Movie 16: Green Zone - I barely had any idea about this movie going into it, and I'm beginning to think that's the way to go. Matt Damon plays a military captain searching for weapons of mass destruction in the first weeks of Operation Iraqi Freedom, frustrated that all the intelligence turns up nothing. Shock! It sounds like a tough sell to manufacture tension out of this, but it's fairly effective. Iraqis and military are mostly sympathetic. Some dark shots are grainy, like it was shot on a cheap camera. Not sure why that is. If I remember, the word "oil" is mercifully never spoken.

[korri]

I completely agree about Alice in Wonderland. It was pretty to look at but the acting seemed to leave something to be desired, like they could have gone further. A friend of mine put it a good way, "the art was very grown up, but the acting and story was for children" and I just wish there was more.

[King Kool]

Movie 17: How To Train Your Dragon - If I knew it'd be one of the better movies I'd see lately, I would have written this up earlier. Not sure why some of my peers were really interested in seeing this. Just not much to say. This is a fairly standard computer animated movie. The protagonist is awkward, the friends are an assortment of other body types and personalities, yawn. There are no scatalogical or pop culture references, so that's a relief. This is the movie you should take your kids to, not Chipmunks. In two dimensions, flying sequences were exciting; in three, I imagine they'd be nauseating.

Movie 18: Hot Tub Time Machine - For a while, I thought I just didn't like adult comedies. Tamer comedies can't resort to obsenity in the absence of wit. This is a much better example. Lazy as it might be, "Back to the Future meets The Hangover" is an excellent review in seven words. It even has Crispin Glover. Like the Hangover, it's about people struggling to control increasing chaos. I almost wish it was less like Future, but it's one of the brighter comedies of recent memory. Strange to see John Cusack in this sort of role again. Craig Robinson should try to avoid being typecast.

Movie 19: Clash Of The Titans - There was ONE moment in this movie that interested me. When fighting the Medusa, she grabs one of Perseus' friends who's made of charcoal. She tries her stone stare on him and it fails. She gives this look that's quizzical and vulnerable and curious. From a computer generated creation, it was amazed it could portray a look so complex. NOTHING else in this movie is interesting. Worthingon needs better direction and haircut. All the women look the same. The action is impossible to follow. The humor falls flat. The ending is rushed. There's no reason for this movie to exist.

Movie 20: The Bounty Hunter - Not sure if this is supposed to be a romantic comedy, but why do so many romantic comedies involve two people who hate each other? Why do so many comedies involve gangsters and criminals? Why do so many involve a fragment of a phone conversation being misunderstood while staying in a bed and breakfast run by an old fashioned couple that misunderstands their obvious acrimony? I like Jennifer Aniston a lot, and Gerard Butler plays boorish well. This isn't anywhere as bad as Leap Year, but it's just not that funny. The thugs are more amusing here than most movies.

Movie 21: She's Out Of My League - When I say I don't like comedies rated R, these are what I fear. Trailers for this made it look truly odious. I'm happy to report it's not that bad. It's not good, either. I dunno where Jay Baruchel came from, but I'm already kinda tired of him. Stainer almost steals the show, gets more laughs than Baruchel. How many women in movies are event planners (When In Rome)? After the inexorable second act downbeat, a few people behind me were laughing. Audiences nowadays apparently have no idea what's funny, and that's why we get limp, useless comedies like this.

This format barely gives me enough space to fully express my contempt for some of these movies. But whatevs.

[tanatoes]

Awesome! I assume you're seeing these at the theater you work at? My wife and I are doing a similar project involving all DVDs we own. We're watching a movie a day (we're only a little more than a month into the project but it's a lot of fun so far.)

I'm looking forward to reviewing Sherlock Holmes which we did see in the theater. Liked seeing your review. I'm sorry you subjected yourself to the Squeequel.

Keep up the good work!

[King Kool]

Movie 22: Date Night - Maybe I was anticipating too much from a pairing of Carrell and Fey, and they're excellent and very true together. They deserve better. The framework for a great comedy is here, but there's not enough to stay afloat. Certain scenes seem completely perfunctory. This script plays like an inspired first draft. Maybe the success of The Hangover forced this into the limelight before it was ready. Maybe they thought Carrell and Fey would make improv fireworks. As it is, this represents a huge missed opportunity that could easily have been a classic. What did Ray Liotta do to his face?!

Movie 23: The Losers - If you want to see the worst and least exciting action Hollywood has to offer, The Losers is a good place to start. Is it shocking to have the bad guy kill a subordinate for a minor infraction? Why is the lightweight woman always able to kick butt, and have sex with the much older protagonist? Why does someone always betray the team? Does anyone still find jarring editing exciting? The only thing good in this movie is Chris Evans, whose character seems to be aware that he's in a stupid action movie. Without him, this would have been unbearable.

Movie 24: Iron Man 2 - Maybe it's because I saw the Losers the day before, but among my three friends and I, I enjoyed this sequel the most. It has the same energy and hilarity of the first one, and the action is quite good. Sam Rockwell is decent, not as good as Jeff Bridges. Same with Rourke; Whiplash is a strange choice for villain. (Why do movies draw attention to casting changes with cute lines?) Not as substantive as the first one, but seeing a lot of movies helps you notice the crap other movies do wrong, and how much this film does right.

Movie 25: Kick Ass - Maybe trailers are the enemy. The trailers for Kick Ass and League looked truly odious. Neither were as bad as I thought. Make no mistake: Kick Ass thinks it's a lot cooler than it is. It started pretty well, loses me when Hit Girl is introduced (not the girl herself, the Hit Girl persona.) I think Ebert overreacted, but this movie wants to deconstruct the superhero while reveling in the tropes of action movies, where goons go down in one shot and the heroes never get hurt. It avoids most other cliches (unlike Losers) but it's not worth fussing over.

With my new job, I have less days I can sit and watch several movies at once. I'm falling way behind. (also, I swear I'm forgetting something I saw).

[theduckthief]

Movie suggestion: Goodbye, Mr. Chips (the 1939 version). I saw it a while ago and thought it was very good, though lost out in the Oscars to Gone With the Wind.

1000 times yes! If you're up for watching black and white movies your options for watching amazing movies expands exponentially. Try "The Thin Man". The banter between Loy and Powell is well worth it.

[King Kool]

Movie 26: Furry Vengeance - Some friends wanted to see Iron Man again, but I relented and subjected myself to this instead. If you've seen the trailers, this looks like a truly odious movie. The only thing positive I can report is that it wasn't as painful as I anticipated. Also, the animals don't speak. Ripping on this movie really feels like ripping on a student film. I scarcely have the heart. It's bad on fundamental levels that are almost fascinating. Would children find this amusing? Who cares? This isn't good enough for children. I like Brendan Fraser; I wish his agent didn't hate him.

Movie 27: Shrek: The Final Chapter - Didn't see Shrek Two or Three; as it turns out, I didn't have to. Shrek bores of his domestic existence and wishes for the good old days when he was feared, but it costs him more than he bargained for. The third movie was considered to be pretty bad by most, but this one actually has a bit of finality. It's nothing special, but it has grown a bit in the time since I saw it. Flatulence humor seems appropriate when ogres are involved. Did we need this movie? Probably not, but it's an acceptable end to this protracted tale.

Movie 28: Killers - Some people think Ashton Kutcher's presence in any movie precludes it from being good. In contrast to this, if this makes any sense, this movie is like the better parts of Bounty Hunter and Date Night stuck together. The mid-movie twist won't surprise anyone who saw the trailer, but you might be surprised how long it takes to happen. Another twist is quite effective, but loses its punch after it's repeated, no joke, five or six more times. Other than that nonsense, it's fairly amusing. Not sure how romantic it is, but romantic comedies are in a sorry state anyway.

Movie 29: Letters to Juliet - Yeah, it seems convenient that the woman who wrote a letter to Juliet 50 years ago is now widowed, and the man who loved her so long ago is a widower. Yeah, Sophie's fiance is a louse who doesn't pay attention to her. Yeah, there are trivial misunderstandings that pointlessly delay the climax. Yet I can't pretend I didn't find myself caring. I admit it: I cried as Lorenzo rode in on horseback, in a scene I KNEW WOULD HAPPEN AND HAD ALREADY SEEN IN THE TRAILER. The parallel youthful romance wasn't as interesting, but still miles better than Leap Year.

Movie 30: The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - When adapting a video game, remember to take out what was good. Give the protagonist a name. Don't have him too much parkour. Don't have him navigate a castle filled with traps; have him wander a desert. Don't have immortal sand monsters. Make the movie as much like Pirates of the Caribbean as possible, but for some reason I can't quite put my finger on, don't be nearly as much fun. These last three movies are all slightly better than analogues I've reviewed before. This one is only slightly better than Clash of the Titans; I wasn't quite as bored.

70 to go... man. I'm falling behind.

[korri]

Was it just me or did Letters to Juliet give the entire plot away in the preview? I haven't seen the movie but it seemed really obvious what was going to happen... and for some reason this made me mad. I like Amanda Seyfried (from V Mars of course) but I just wish she was in a better movie...

[Keab42]

It might be excessive exposure to the internet but from the title alone Furry Vengeance conjures up an image of a very strange film.

[King Kool]

Was it just me or did Letters to Juliet give the entire plot away in the preview? I haven't seen the movie but it seemed really obvious what was going to happen... and for some reason this made me mad. I like Amanda Seyfried (from V Mars of course) but I just wish she was in a better movie...

Well, how many other romantic comedies are stuck on rails like Thomas the F'ing Tank Engine? This is just par for the course, and even though I knew what would happen, I won't claim that it was ineffective.

[King Kool]

Movie 31: Marmaduke - Only saw Furry Vengeance to compare to this and see which was better. They both involve fathers moving to pursue corporate victories while sacrificing domestic happiness. Can't get enough of THAT, or talking animals. Why DOES Marmaduke talk? Why does he become a snob, forsake his friends momentarily and learn valuable lessons (like Alvin)? One dog (Mitzi) is quite cute, when her mouth doesn't animate in an amazingly unconvincing way. Why do fart jokes use the same sound effects? It's not as incompetent as Furry Vengeance, but is it better? Who cares? Neither should be watched for almost any reason.

I'm gonna try not to let such a backlog grow anymore.

[King Kool]

Movie 32: The A-Team - I don't like referring to other reviews, but maybe just this once. Why did Ebert go after this one and give a pass to Losers? Both movies are about wronged paramilitary seeking revenge, but at least this movie has somewhat interesting characters and action sequences. Yeah, it makes very little sense, and yeah, I’m getting tired of seeing Vancouver’s mountains in every movie. But I was invigorated instead of bored, and I was intrigued instead of insulted. Jessica Biel is more believable as a soldier than Saldana. Not a great movie, but it’s fun. Maybe I just like Liam Neeson.

Movie 33: Jonah Hex - I always get the feeling that Hollywood takes a script that was floating around and attaches an unused intellectual property to it. Who was clamoring for this movie? Why does his scar go further across his lips than where his lips would be? Why does this movie feel the need to explain what a derringer is? Josh Brolin is fairly convincing and menacing, no one else is. This movie feels like it was condensed dramatically, possibly even cut down from an R rating. The effects are unconvincing, but the movie is brief and brisk. Maybe it’s more for steampunk fans.

Movie 34: Knight and Day - Remember how I said Killers was a slightly better version of Bounty Hunter? This is the slightly better version of Killers. This time, the romantic stuff is left out almost completely except for the usual sexual tension. Cruise is quite funny as the rogue spy. People seem to forget he’s a movie star because he’s GOOD. Do I believe Diaz as a car restorer? It never comes up, but I believe her as a regular woman caught up in chaos. The term “wall to wall action” suffices here; everything boring is skipped. This is a perfectly acceptable action comedy movie.

Movie 35: Toy Story 3 - I haven’t seen Toy Story 2, but I know what happens: not much. This is likely the last Toy Story movie, but that doesn’t mean Buzz will die fighting off zombies so the others can escape. The movie makes the very brave decision to allow Andy to be an adult dealing with what to do with his old toys. They wind up at a daycare, but is that the end of the story? Is it good? It’s PIXAR. They haven’t made a misstep yet. I wasn’t nearly so emotional when I gave up my own stuffed animals some years ago.

Movie 36: The Karate Kid - It’s not karate, it’s kung fu. Why call it Karate Kid? That would raise the question: why make this at all? Why make his mom a bitch when she dragged her son to CHINA? Why make this movie drag for FIFTY damn minutes before any kung fu happens? There’s no reason for this movie to be two and a half hours. That is inexcusable. I thought Jackie Chan was effective in his first dramatic role in who knows how long. Jaden Smith doesn’t impress me. Action scenes are well choreographed, but poorly shot. Completely by the numbers. A tough sit.

So much for not getting a backlog. In my defense, four of these movies were seen within the last 48 hours.

[King Kool]

Movie 37: Grown Ups - There's something a little different about Grown Ups, and I'm not sure it's good. Sandler, Schneider, James, Rock and Spade all play older men trying to reconnect after their old coach dies, and it's a weekend of fun "just like you and your buddies." The movie captures this decently, but as the funny guy in my group of friends, I recognize that most of the ribbing friends do isn't THAT funny. It's like writing down an improvised sketch; it's not as funny as the moment it was made. They have captured something true here, but it's just not that funny.

Movie 38: Despicable Me - I saw this with a group of ten other people, and I liked it the least of everyone. Luckily, I found it merely good. There's a bit of a tone problem at times, and some gags seem a bit rushed. Steve Carell is good as the villian, but the story seems to imply that, despite calling himself a supervillian, he was never all that bad to begin with. But it's cute, it's harmless, the three girls are much better than the kids in Spy Next Door. I don't want to be too hard on anything not based on anything else.

Movie 39: Inception - Sometimes I feel I don't want to oversell a movie and raise expectations. But trust me; you should see this movie. I've been a fan of Christopher Nolan since 2001, and he doesn't disappoint here. He makes the best movies Hollywood knows how to make. I love science fiction with rules, and this movie is like a huge peach for my brain to devour. It's cerebral, yet visceral. It's beautifully shot, acted and written. Nolan blows the doors off the heist movie the same way he rebuilt neo-noir in Memento. This is the fractal heist movie. Go see it right now.

Movie 40: Battle for Terra (DVD) Maybe I shouldn't have watched this RIGHT after seeing Inception, but seeing it after Avatar wouldn't help, either. At least the aliens are more 'alien,' not giant turquiose Jamacians. The design reminds me of the Myst universe, though from any other critic, that would be an insult. Why does the floating alien protagonist forget how to fly when a fall will incapacitate her for the story? Why is oxygen a green cloud? If the movie's so cheap, why can't they take some chances with the story? At least then your movie would be bad in some new exciting way.

60 to go...

[epocalypse]

indeed. you know what sucks, KK? Aside from a few stand outs (Toy Story 3 was phenomenal, and you are smack on about Inception, my main criticism of which is that I'm not still watching it at this very moment, and a few others that are more hard to find) you picked a piss poor year to do this, new movie wise.

Still, we got a couple more good looking ones coming. Courage and DVDs, my friend, Courage and DVDs.

[Metcarfre]

"Fractal heist movie" is the best-slash-worst description for that movie, ever, and I think I will use it (unexplained) in conversation as much as possible.

[Matt]

How have you not seen Toy Story 2(which by the way, is probably the best of the three)?

-m

[Metcarfre]

If by best you mean worst. (Admittedly i haven't seen it in a while).

[Matt]

No, by best, I do actually mean best.


TS3 was a retread of fundamentally the same story they used for 2, just taken at a different angle.

The original was nowhere near as thematically heavy as either 2 or 3.

Toy Story 2 marks basically the first pixar movie to push adult themes and real emotional weight in their films. It's the first of their films to have pushed me to tears, and still affects me when I watch it as an adult.

I remembered thinking it the weak link when I saw it the first time, many years ago - but then I watched the Toy story Double header in theatres a few months back, and it was really a step up in every way from the first film.

-m

[Metcarfre]

Interesting, I'll have to re-watch it.

[King Kool]

I didn't see Toy Story 2 because between Toy Story 1 came out on VHS (I was 13) and Toy Story 2 came out on tape (I was 16), I guess I stopped watching those kindsa movies in that period. Toy Story was at the very tail end of that period where we'd rent kids movies and watch them. I saw the end of TS2 when my nephew watched it when he was some tiny age.

If we have a VHS copy of in the house, I'll watch it.

...

Nope.

[King Kool]

Movie 41: Salt - I've found that eighty percent of movies are not worth making a big deal over. This is a good movie not worth doing so. It's fairly standard action, quickly edited, but shot competently enough that it isn't disorienting. It's the rare movie that had me wondering exactly where it was going, though it never took me completely by surprise. Maybe I'd like it better if I thought Angelina Jolie is attractive. I was having fun while watching it, and I don't want to discourage an action movie that does a few things right. It's competent and fun, but so what?

Movie 42: The Sorcerer's Apprentice - When you see a lot of movies, eventually, they all look like this one. This is a very average movie not worth making a big deal over. I couldn't list all the cliches this movie uses in one hundred words. Nicolas Cage is remarkably restrained as the ancient sorcerer, Molina is quite effective as the villain. The action, the special effects, the second act downbeat, the romance, the climax, the cardiopulmonary respiration, you've seen it all before. It didn't make me as restless as Cop Out, but it's absolutely by the numbers. Maybe a good film to watch on cable.

Movie 43: Dinner for Schmucks - Now, here's a bad movie not worth making a big deal about. The central conceit of this movie seems hypocritical. It creates fictional weirdos who seem happy in their various hobbies, paints them as crazy and then scolds us for laughing. If we laughed, which I didn't. This whole movie seems to depend on the fact that you find Carell's antics amusing, but he's so clueless, it's merely tiresome. It reminds me of Step Brothers; this movie isn't as bad, though I laughed about as often. It just has a screwed up sense of what is funny and what isn't.