The Sex Thread

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Danzama
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Danzama » 20 Mar 2011, 12:21

Theremin wrote:
Danzama wrote:So... sex...

*Thinks of revival question*

Does it hurt?


What kind, and for who?


Me. Just curious as i have no clue but I imagine that it would sting like a bitch.
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SilPho
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby SilPho » 20 Mar 2011, 12:28

If it hurt that much people wouldn't go to the lengths they do to get laid. If you ever find yourself not enjoying it, you're doing it wrong.
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Lyinginbedmon
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 20 Mar 2011, 12:41

Obviously having part of someone else inside of you can take some getting used to, but it does end up feeling awesome even if you can't quite describe how afterwards.
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Theremin
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Theremin » 20 Mar 2011, 12:48

Being in someone, however, does not hurt at all.

Also, you would know?
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Lyinginbedmon
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 20 Mar 2011, 12:52

Theremin wrote:Being in someone, however, does not hurt at all.

Also, you would know?

Being in someone is wierd, but takes less getting used to. Someone else inside you requires a certain degree of biological adjustment to boot.

On that note, for the dudes:

Never ever quote Serious Cravings during coitus. You will be immediately ejected from the nearest vagina and will likely receive physical harm.
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Mad Madam Mimm
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Mad Madam Mimm » 20 Mar 2011, 12:57

....

You are so lucky I haven't neutered you already.
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby 2stepz » 20 Mar 2011, 13:03

An approprite prompt for this forum: LDRs - thoughts on PhoneSex, CyberSex, Sexting, etc?
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby SilPho » 20 Mar 2011, 13:11

Not a sustainable substitute for the real thing, but can make spending large amounts of time apart a lot easier. I can't really see a relationship existing entirely through proxy means though.
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Theremin » 20 Mar 2011, 13:14

You didn't answer my question.

Is this advice vicarious, or firsthand?
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby JustAName » 20 Mar 2011, 13:16

Cybering can be a lot of fun, Skype is a useful if awkward at first tool, nothing properly substitutes for cuddles.
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby SilPho » 20 Mar 2011, 13:26

^ Agreed. If you care about each other you'll forgive the awkwardness. The worst part about it is not being able to cuddle afterwards. (Some see this as a perk of course)
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 20 Mar 2011, 13:43

Mad Madam Mimm wrote:....

You are so lucky I haven't neutered you already.

Fine fine, you will DEFINITELY receive physical harm.
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TomBrend
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby TomBrend » 20 Mar 2011, 19:26

I have a lot of respect for people who can make long distance relationships work. I totally would not be able to. I would go absolutely crazy.
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby iamafish » 20 Mar 2011, 19:34

I'm not crazy, I'M NOT FUCKING CRAZY!
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby JustAName » 20 Mar 2011, 19:38

No more than I am! *cackles madly*
Alja-Markir wrote:Andy is the LRR Heart-throb.
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Mad Madam Mimm » 20 Mar 2011, 23:34

I was already crazy, so that helps things.
Yaxley wrote:I think life occasionally needs someone to ask "Okay, seriously guys. What the hell is going on?"

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theDreamer
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby theDreamer » 21 Mar 2011, 06:06

Never did sexting or anything.

Our relationship just survived on our awesomeness.
I can put my hands in my head, and I can laugh it in the face.
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby theDreamer » 21 Mar 2011, 18:08

Well...

I just did a thing.

So here it is, straight, uncensored, and unedited (it will get some fixing up, I hope), my article for the special edition of MathNews, The Best Math Sex Toys

Code: Select all

You asked, and we answered: Here are the n best math sex toys available on the market today!
(n). Closed Ball of Radius r Gag
Tired of buying different sized ball gags for different sized occaisions? The Closed Ball of Radius r Gag has you covered. Fully adjustable, this is the first ball gag I've ever seen that is perfect everytime. Fits all mouths! Men's, women's, hell this baby can even fill an undefined integral. And you can always just purchase the Banach–Tarski option for double the fun, whenever you want! And if the Closed Ball isn't your thing (though you know it sure is mine), an Open Ball of Radius r Gag is offered as well, and it has all the same benefits.
(n-1). Hyperbolic Geometry Handcuffs
Sick of only having one line run parallel to the axis of pleasure through the point of your sexlife? Do you want to break out of vanilla, Euclidian sex? Then you just have to get the Hyperbolic Geometry Handcuffs! Simple and easy to use, you'll be tying up your partner in no time. It's a great, new way to really had some new ideas to your relationship; you've really seen nothing like this before. The compressed, complex curves of the cuffs as they try and fit in logical space are guaranteed  to turn on everyone, and they are 100% inescapable. Want to bind him to the bed while you tease every square inch of his skin's area? How about stringing her up to a vertical asymptote and ravishing her perfectly differentianable curves? For even more fun, try it with the Closed Ball of Radius r Gag.
(n-2). Taylor Series Penis Expander
Let's face it. Not every man is perfect. And this writer can attest: women like their polynomials long and unending. Luckily, the Taylor Series Penis Expander is there to save the day. Give yourself (or your man) that smooth, polynomial feel, and trust that you can keep adding as many terms as you'd like. And unlike all those other expander's out there, you know this one always works. And if the expansion doesn't converge long enough for your frantic x, just shift it over and start again.
(n-3). Pibrator
The ultimate vibrator that satisifies <turned A>u/u<set membership>{his,her}. Its soft, springy rubber containing a sleek vibrator is comfortable and durable. Whether you intend it to use it alone or with your partner, this little thing is perfect for the job. And, if you're worried it's a bit too small, you can get their Taubrator: Twice the Size, Twice the Pleasure.


(Don't be afraid to look stuff up/ask, I had to)
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GaProgMan
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby GaProgMan » 21 Mar 2011, 23:42

That just made my day. Thanks theDreamer
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Laurnil
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Laurnil » 26 Mar 2011, 10:23

Oh Hello,

I just stopped by to say
Titties!

That is all.

Thank you.
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FYI: Laurnil is short for Laura Nichelle
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Lyinginbedmon
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 26 Mar 2011, 10:38

Titties are nice.
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Mister Fiend
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Mister Fiend » 26 Mar 2011, 11:18

Only thing better than titties is MOAR TITTIES!
metcarfre wrote:Fiend holding a Stampede while smoking a cigar just changed my life.

TACOS!
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theDreamer
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby theDreamer » 26 Mar 2011, 11:33

...Applications of the Banach-Tarski paradox: getting more titties.
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Elomin Sha
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 26 Mar 2011, 12:07

But I was heading into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.
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Mister Fiend
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Re: The Sex Thread

Postby Mister Fiend » 26 Mar 2011, 12:34

Elomin Sha wrote:But I was heading into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.

And some sweet Jawa titties!
metcarfre wrote:Fiend holding a Stampede while smoking a cigar just changed my life.

TACOS!
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