Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

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Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Digital Dolphin » 17 Jun 2010, 08:07

http://thefilmstage.com/2010/06/08/uwe-boll-jessica-simpson-and-metroid-a-recipe-for-disaster/
What do you get when you mix Jessica Simpson with Uwe Boll and the Metroid video game series? It sure sounds like a disaster to me. JoBlo is reporting that Uwe Boll is going to direct a film based on the Metroid video game series. Yea, I know what you’re thinking, it gets worse though. Set to star as our heroine Samus is none other than Jessica Simpson.
This is worse than the Kim Kardashian as Tomb Raider story we reported earlier. Seriously, what is wrong with Hollywood? Not only have they run completely dry of original ideas, that’s a whole different story, but if this is true….honestly what is there to say?
Video game to film adaptions usually turn out bad even when they have a good cast and director. Imagine a video game to film adaption with Uwe Boll and Jessica Simpson *shudders*. I hope this is not true. I’d hate to see them ruin a great franchise like Metroid with this film.
Is there any good to come from a project like this?


Yeah...

EDIT: Confirmed to be fake:
http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html

THANK GOD!!!!
Last edited by Digital Dolphin on 17 Jun 2010, 08:49, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 17 Jun 2010, 08:08

Why did you have to post this? Now Matt is going to Blowout the forums from sheer rage.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby Dr.Ninja » 17 Jun 2010, 08:11

Oooh crap. This won't be good.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby King Kool » 17 Jun 2010, 08:16

I smell a hoax.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby Master Gunner » 17 Jun 2010, 08:22

It won't happen.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby GreigKM » 17 Jun 2010, 08:22

Now, for the reaction;
FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Better not happen, or people will regret it. Not from me, but from Matt...
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby Jillers » 17 Jun 2010, 08:23

I... I...


I quit.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll) - Starring Jessica Simpson

Postby Digital Dolphin » 17 Jun 2010, 08:40

King Kool wrote:I smell a hoax.


I hope you're right! :shock:

Edit: Thank god you ARE right:
http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby King Kool » 17 Jun 2010, 09:29

Knew it.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Lyinginbedmon » 17 Jun 2010, 10:04

Hurrah! Matt won't kill us all in his rampage! :D
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Cade Antilles » 17 Jun 2010, 10:21

That thing smelled like a hoax the minute I opened that link. Good thing it really is fake.

Although, if Metroid were to be made into a live-action movie (a downright bad idea, but hear me out), who would you cast as Samus. Or who would you have direct, produce, score, etc? I don't have any ideas at the moment, but I'm curious what y'all can come up with.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby GreigKM » 17 Jun 2010, 10:36

Thank God, that is all.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby operagirl95 » 17 Jun 2010, 11:22

Cade Antilles wrote:Although, if Metroid were to be made into a live-action movie (a downright bad idea, but hear me out), who would you cast as Samus. Or who would you have direct, produce, score, etc? I don't have any ideas at the moment, but I'm curious what y'all can come up with.


That is an interesting question. I'm not sure what the "better" answers are, but in reality probably going to be Uwe Boll and some blonde chick. :P
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Jillers » 17 Jun 2010, 17:13

Hrmm... As far as Samus goes, I'd want a gal who is athletic... perhaps, dare I say, a bit butch.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby MattAn » 17 Jun 2010, 17:17

Jillers wrote:Hrmm... As far as Samus goes, I'd want a gal who is athletic... perhaps, dare I say, a bit butch.


I personally would've thought Scarlett Johansson or someone like that, no? But Jessica Simpson.. That would be a big leap backward. Does she even know what a SPACE JUMP is..?
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Vigafre » 17 Jun 2010, 17:27

WHY ARE YOU ACTING WHEN YOU HAVE SPACE JUMP?!
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Agloriouscuppa » 17 Jun 2010, 18:32

Vigafre wrote:WHY ARE YOU ACTING WHEN YOU HAVE SPACE JUMP?!


This made me spit out my tea from laughter, you sir win.
It doesnt help does it?
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Master Gunner » 18 Jun 2010, 04:08

I think Blonde Tally could pull it off, but doesn't quite have the right stature for the role. Not that that's really a problem these days.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Jillers » 18 Jun 2010, 05:20

Hileict wrote:
Jillers wrote:Hrmm... As far as Samus goes, I'd want a gal who is athletic... perhaps, dare I say, a bit butch.


I personally would've thought Scarlett Johansson or someone like that, no? But Jessica Simpson.. That would be a big leap backward. Does she even know what a SPACE JUMP is..?


No. I hate Scarlett Johansson.
On that note: would Scarlett Johansson know what a Space Jump is?
But, you get my point. Someone who isn't a bobble-head. Who looks like they were, in fact, trained as a warrior.

EDIT: Like Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby.
Last edited by Jillers on 18 Jun 2010, 11:47, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby ThrashJazzAssassin » 18 Jun 2010, 06:17

Coincidentally, I just got Space Jump.
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Re: Metroid The Movie (Uwe Boll)-Starring Jessica Simpson *FAKE*

Postby Bob The Magic Camel » 22 Jun 2010, 15:20

While this is a hoax, the truth isn't much better. John Woo bought the option to Metroid a few years ago, and I don't believe it's expired yet. So while he may not be as hated as Mr. Boll, and while the project may have died in preproduction, there is still a distinctly non-zero probability that we will see a truly terrible film starring Miss S. Aran.
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