This thread is so gay

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CamelKnackRambleHort
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 18 Jul 2016, 00:16

Thanks for your sympathy everyone, and again thanks for listening to my problems. It helps.

I really think I am pretty much over it. I cried a ton this past week, it was really bad, but I am fine now. I guess if they don't want a relationship with me, only "him", then I guess we wont be seeing each other much for the time being. Hopefully they change their minds and things change in the future. But I'm ok. Thanks again for the concern and sympathy.
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Avistew
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 18 Jul 2016, 19:45

I thought I posted a message to you, Camel, but now I don't see it. I was saying that I'm sorry so much of your family isn't accepting, and that I hope they'll turn around, as some people do once they get used to the idea. And I'm glad your wife and your sister are there to support you. Good luck with your journey!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 19 Jul 2016, 08:28

Thanks, the support of everyone here really makes a difference.
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Arclight_Dynamo
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 24 Jul 2016, 09:01

I've mentioned before that I'm not out as bi with my family. Part of that reason is, frankly, my mother. As it turns out, she has something against bi people, specifically.

Great.

In the past, she's said things like "they're only doing it for the attention," and has doubted that bisexuals exist at all.

And, yesterday, she was having a chat with my sister, who has a number of gay, bi, pan, and trans friends. Somehow the topic of bisexuality came up, and (according to my sister, who I'm getting this from third-hand) Mom basically pulled a face like she'd bitten into a lemon. My sister, who's aware of this thing Mom has against bisexuals, confronted her over it. She wanted to know where the hell this was coming from.

I swear, this is what she told her:

The problem is butt sex, apparently. Or, more specifically, a dude having anal intercourse with another dude, then, at a later time, having vaginal intercourse with a woman.

This is, apparently, revolting.

My sister was kind of dumbfounded by it, and she said as much to me when we talked. We both then went over why it makes no sense - What about a bisexual woman? What about a bisexual man who is exclusively a bottom in same-sex intercourse? What about a straight couple who are into anal sex?

But... seriously? This is the problem my mother has?

Ugh.

The really weird part is that she's totally fine with gay and lesbian people. I even think she's more accepting of trans people than she is of bi people, which is probably a bit of an oddity. I'm pretty sure she's helped by positive exposure in media, which gay and lesbian people have been getting for some time in Canada, and which trans people have been getting recently (probably since Caitlyn Jenner came out as trans) here, too.

But bi people? No media coverage. It defaults to gay and lesbian people, and when same-sex marriage or Pride comes up, the assumed emphasis is on them as well, rather than bisexuals. It's all L and G, with hardly any B - when a same-sex couple gets married, they're assumed to be gay or lesbian, not bi. Christ, it's often even called gay marriage, rather than same-sex marriage, which cuts bi and pan people out entirely.

That's bi erasure for you.

The other thing is that I'm 100% certain that, if I did come out to my family, I'd be supported. No questions asked. My sister is entirely cool with these things, and my Mom would accept it because, hey, she loves me. She might have misgivings, though, and I'd always be suspicious she thinks I'm revolting, deep down.

So... yeah. This kinda blows.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 26 Jul 2016, 06:50

That is the strangest reason I have ever seen for someone being anti bi. Also, bi erasure absolutely sucks.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby JustAName » 26 Jul 2016, 13:14

I mean, you could talk about how a lot of people with vaginas are into both anal and vaginal play so the same fingers/implements could have been in both over time, but... yeah. :/ That sucks.
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Arclight_Dynamo
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 27 Jul 2016, 22:44

Thanks, folks. I'm not that broken up about it - mostly just perplexed and annoyed. Felt good to be able to vent, though.

But... yeah. I think I'm going to avoid talking to my mother about the (ahem) ins and outs of anal sex. :P
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 28 Jul 2016, 08:57

I think that sounds like a solid plan. I know that is not a conversation I would care to have with my mother.

Honestly it sounds like the kind of thing that is based entirely on squick she has not had to overcome yet for any reason and once she has a reason she will deal with it.
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Arclight_Dynamo
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Arclight_Dynamo » 28 Jul 2016, 09:24

That sounds right, frankly.

I mean, years ago, I know she was in the "Be gay all you want, but keep it out of my face" crowd. But since LGBT issues have been covered in a more positive light in the mainstream media over the past decade or so, she's come around to be entirely fine with gay and lesbian people. And I'm seeing the same thing happen with her about trans issues, right now.

So, yeah, I think you're right - if I came out to her, she'd be confronted with it, and would need to think about some things. And I'm convinced she'd come around pretty quickly.

Still, this is why I mentioned bi erasure and the lack of coverage of bi issues in the media. This thing with my mother is the end result of all of that.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 25 Aug 2016, 07:37

So it's been a while since I've posted anything here though I have lots to update.

Back in November I started dating this awesome guy (on the right for those who don't know me):
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His name is Stuart and I've known him for about 6 years when he first moved to Toronto from Australia and decided to play hockey (without ever having put on skates before).

Next month we move in together which is a first for me. I've never lived with a partner before. There are certain precautions we've taken like having a lot of space so we each have our own personal areas when we need them. We're also making all the decisions together which is good. Anyone have any other advice for me?
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Jamfalcon » 25 Aug 2016, 08:52

No advice here, but that's awesome news, congratulations! :mrgreen:
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 25 Aug 2016, 11:47

Grats! No advice from me either, I have little experience dating people I don't live with :P
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 25 Aug 2016, 18:28

Congrats
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 26 Aug 2016, 01:51

:D
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Elomin Sha
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Elomin Sha » 26 Aug 2016, 04:26

Congratulations.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 16 Sep 2016, 06:49

So we started the move yesterday. So excited and nervous!

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CamelKnackRambleHort
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby CamelKnackRambleHort » 16 Sep 2016, 09:40

Good luck!
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Psyclone
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Psyclone » 16 Sep 2016, 14:19

Congrats! I've never lived with a partner either but I'm excited for you and it seems like you're planning well.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Deedles » 17 Sep 2016, 01:21

You two look lovely together! I wish you all the luck! <3
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 27 Oct 2016, 12:40

The Doctor Who Spin-off lead character is Gay. He is also in a relationship with another primary cast member.

This is awesome.

I'm just annoyed that they hooked up so easily because they didn't have any of this awkward wondering if each other is seeking a relationship with another guy; which I relate to.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Aeralis » 11 Nov 2016, 18:52

D'aww, that's adorable. Have you seen him again? Did anything progress with him?
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 14 Nov 2016, 15:21

Not yet... I hope to. We have mutual friends.

He's a christian like me, so if he's into guys, into me and single that would be super awesome.
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Aeralis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Aeralis » 14 Nov 2016, 22:03

My fingers are crossed for you!
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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 15 Nov 2016, 03:39

Worst case scenario I now have a Christian friend who is comfortable. An ally.
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Avistew
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Avistew » 15 Nov 2016, 16:10

Any reason you keep spoilering that word? I keep having the "what if it's a spoiler for something I haven't consumed yet?!" fear every time I click, and it's not like it's a bad word or something.
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