This thread is so gay

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Merrymaker_Mortalis
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 08 Sep 2017, 13:52

It's new for me to be turned on by something which isn't sexy. The idea of hanging out with him turns me on. Just, spending time. Not the idea of being sexy. Just, spending time. After 17 years of being turned on by flesh or romantic ideas, this is new for me.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 16 Sep 2017, 14:38

He only likes women. But we have a lot in common so can become great friends.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Aeralis » 18 Sep 2017, 13:22

Well that's both a bummer and good.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 18 Sep 2017, 14:07

I asked him plainly, he was flattered. I think moving on it'll be great for our friendship because of that honesty. We can interact knowing where each other stands and won't have to worry about accidentally sending messages.
He can also hopefully massage my back without it being awkward (licensed massage therapist).
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby AdmiralMemo » 20 Sep 2017, 18:25

Interesting relationship forming there. At least everything's out in the open so everyone knows what they're getting into. :-)

I rarely post here because I feel I'm not qualified to share any experiences of my own in this regard. But this story has made me remember back in the late 90s/early 00s where I had an Internet friend who told me he was attracted to me. On the one hand, I was flattered, like your friend was, mainly because I could count on one hand the number of people who had told me they found me attractive. But on the other hand, it made me worried... If my looks were attractive to gay men (which, to date, I've had 3 gay men tell me they've found me attractive, and no women, including my former girlfriend), then was I less attractive to straight women, who I wanted to be in a relationship with? Was there anything I could do to change how I look to become less attractive to gay men and more attractive to straight women?

10+ years later, I look back on that time and realize I was a bit of a fool, possibly due to still developing and having residual teen hormones and such. I'm currently pretty content with how I look. (Not "happy" per se, but at least "changing my appearance significantly" is very low on my current priorities.) If how I look is attractive to gay men, that's not something I'm concerned about anymore. If they want me, but have Incompatible Orientation issues, that's on them to work out.

I'm also reminded of an El Goonish Shive sketchbook. Right to left, Catalina (gay) is attracted to Susan (straight), who's attracted to Justin (gay), who's attracted to Elliot (straight). Not shown in this is also the fact that Elliot has been attracted to Nanase (gay) so there's a whole lot of that going around in this comic. :-D
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 21 Sep 2017, 16:03

I'm attracted to guys who aren't blatantly camp but have a softer side to them. I seem to get attracted to guys who women find highly attractive.

I did find the last week hard because conversations on messenger consisted on us discovering our music taste doesn't overlap and him not wanting to continue attending a society he tried.

But we're back to normal talking. Which is nice. I am still disappointed, but, I think our friendship can continue.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby aeric90 » 22 Sep 2017, 12:06

Not sure if anyone here is a South Park watcher but I just caught up on this season and I was blown away this week by the depiction of the relationship between Craig and Tweek. Honestly thought it was kind of insulting to have a gay relationship as a joke when they were first 'shipped' but this week's episode was possibly the most touching and well-handled depiction of a relationship like that I'd ever seen. I may have gotten a bit teary. Can't believe a show so over the top would take it's time to do something like that right. If you're a casual fan I'd suggest checking it out.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 10 Jan 2018, 16:05

For the last month I had been spending a lot of time with a guy. Someone who was very loving towards me and shared a lot of interests. But something didn't feel right. And that was that I wasn't attracted to him. I suppose I agreed to go on a date with him and invited him on one in hope that perhaps in time I may grow attracted to him. I certainly feel fond and protective, but there wasn't a spark. I told him how I felt, and he understood.

But what I've found out from beginning to put myself out there on the relationship world is, how difficult it is for us to find someone we ought to be in a relationship with.

At least for me, it's hard enough finding a man who I am fond of who is single or gay/bi. But now I realise I actually need to be attracted to them as well. From going from one impossible relationship option to another, it makes the whole thing seem complicated. I'd rather be single than be in a relationship with someone who I'm unable to be attracted to (and vice versa). I can't just simply find someone who'd treat me fairly and pretend our whole lives things are fine.

I envy people who are attracted to the opposite sex, as I feel like they have a bigger pool of people to consider.

I'm back on Tinder and trying to take things slow with no expectations. But I feel like users on there want it quick, sex or friendship. It's also frustrating that I'm not in a heavily populated area. But I am not going to let my seeking of a relationship dominate my priorities. I'm only 28, and I have a lot of time.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Jamfalcon » 11 Jan 2018, 12:00

I think that's a healthy attitude to have. And I can only imagine how frustrating the feeling of not having many options for potential partners in your area is — being a straight person in a pretty small town was hard enough (I'd looked at every single profile on OKCupid for women in my town), but I imagine it's significantly tougher for you, especially if you're looking for a reasonable short-distance relationship.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 12 Jan 2018, 05:33

The guy I was seeing, I could sort of spend the rest of my life with him, but I wouldn't be able to return his immense affection for me. I feel slightly bad about agreeing to date him a little, since I did so out of "well, he's probably my only option who isn't complicated or off-putting". Turns out he was motherly towards me, and that was off-putting. We only snuggled. So I hope he doesn't feel any amount of exploited intimacy, like if we had kissed e.g.

I'm back on Tinder, but with no expectations. Happily chatting.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Jamfalcon » 12 Jan 2018, 10:55

If it didn't go very far, I don't think there's anything wrong with testing it out to see if stronger feelings develop, because that definitely could've happened, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Chatting without expectations seems like the way to go, good mindset. :)
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 12 Jan 2018, 16:05

It was frustrating, because hobbywise and intellect wise we were very compatible. It was just I didn't find him physically attractive at all and I didn't like how he treated me like a child. When I say that, he was very kind, loving and cared about me. I just found it smothering. It was a side to him I didn't see when we were simply friends. I saw no reason to address that if I simply wasn't attracted to begin with.

Chatting to a sweet guy from Dublin right now, through Spanish. It's lovely, but it's a shame there's a sea between us.
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 01 Jun 2018, 06:49

Update, sweet guy came to visit for two night. We stayed at some friends' house and it was a wonderful time :)
I feel blessed by him.

I'm happy!
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Jamfalcon » 01 Jun 2018, 09:30

That's great to hear, happy for you! :mrgreen:
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Re: This thread is so gay

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 06 Aug 2018, 15:48

Ah it's a no now. We were born in the wrong places. Visas got in the way, he's deciding to go home and doesn't want to me finding someone new...

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