The Mixed Emotion Thread

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empath
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby empath » 30 Jul 2015, 06:38

Good news: I'm gonna be employed again! My brother is getting me a cabbie job with the firm he's working for - it'll help them out too since August will be a big month with a week-long music festival and starting to see sports tournaments (it's nice a cool out here, great for playing *ball and not getting overheated in 30c weather ;^) So I'm getting the paperwork sorted out - need a higher class of driver's license, and to get that I needed a medical done by my family doctor...which I just got back from, with flying colors. :)

So-so News: Welllll...because my blood pressure has been consistently high over the years (usually 130-150/80-90; it's enough to be concerned with), and I'm in my 40's now, and I've got family with hypertension too, my doctor's decided to put me on blood pressure medication; starting with 1/2 a 4mg pill a day, and I check back in a week to see what effect that blood thinner's having.

Oh well - I've had this notable (no symptoms to me, but if I check my BP it's usually a little high) for even longer than I've had her as our family doctor, and ultimately, it's probably partially due to a) family history but mostly due to the extra weight I'm carrying around...if and when I can work this 'gut' off of me, I'd probably see my BP drop to the normal range. So I don't really mind this - it's hardly a hassle (maybe more of not losing those dang half-pills when I cut 'em ;) ) and it should help head off any incipient problems...

Anyways, here's hoping the job will help me lose weight - I've been getting out and walking a fair bit when the weather permits, but I also have been kinda binge eating now and again when the 'unemployed boredom' hits, so it's probably been cancelling out - my weight is maybe down a half-pound since I left the deli job...

Tl;dr? Kinda 'sigh' but mostly "YAY'. :D
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 05 Aug 2015, 08:55

Not sure if I think King of the Nerds UK is a morally good reality TV show.
I seem to enjoy watching it since I like the people on it, even the schemy slimey guy who reminds me of Yatzee.

Konnie Huq hosts it too. Charlie Brooker will be a judge on it. So can't be too bad.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby JustAName » 05 Aug 2015, 21:22

I genuinely do not understand people who look at the bad things in the world and don't think "I want to help fix that." I understand if you're worn out from doing some beneficial things that you prioritize, and sometimes you pick yourself, because you have to. But I don't understand people who never want to help ever. People who will rationalize their way into thinking that other people deserve the misery that an injust world and misfortune happen to throw their way.

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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Jamfalcon » 05 Aug 2015, 22:48

I wonder how often that comes from people trying to play devil's advocate and explaining why they think something might have happened, but then falling into believing it was the way things should be for themselves... not saying that's always the case, mind you, just a random thought that spurred.

Unrelated mixed emotions:
Man, this summer has been crazy. I've been away from home more than I've been at it, and while it's for almost entirely enjoyable reasons, it's so weird being completely off my normal schedule for this long. Sometimes I miss not having anything to do. :P
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 06 Aug 2015, 07:17

Molly's gone home now. I get my room and my bed back, but I'm already missing her.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Jenelmo » 07 Aug 2015, 05:46

Just realized that "The Shepherd's Crown" the last Discworld novel Terry Pratchett wrote before his demise in March is being released later this month.

One one hand it is a book by my favourite author in a book series that is largely responsible for my love of reading.

On the other hand it is the last time i get to read a new discworld novel, this is the last time i get to enter this fantastic world for a new adventure.
I am afraid that the finality of it will make me break down crying while reading the book and not enjoying it as much as i should because this is in the back of my mind
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Deedles » 07 Aug 2015, 05:55

Maybe the writing won't reach you in the same way that it normally would, but I bet it would still be an experience that you'll remember and treasure.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 07 Aug 2015, 08:49

When I read the synopsis my heart tore a little. I feel like it will be a wholesome and appropriate final novel.

I'm willing to embrace any feels. Perhaps it might enhance my immersion of the story.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 23 Aug 2015, 18:28

In the space of 24 hours, I have turned vegetarian, eaten bacon, breakfast sausage, chicken, and meatballs.

I am the worst vegetarian.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Lord Chrusher » 23 Aug 2015, 20:35

Tomorrow morning I fly to Liverpool to start my new job as a postdoctoral researcher.

I am sad to be saying goodbye to all my friends and family here but I know I will be back at Christmas to see everyone. I am excited to explore a new city and a new country. I am looking forward to having my own flat but I am anxious about finding one quickly.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby RedHelveticaCake » 24 Aug 2015, 18:29

I have a crush. As someone who has not experienced a proper crush for something like 15 years (the last one lasted a really long time, the timing was never right, and they're married and have children now) it seems to be a foreign and painful sort of emotional sore. Sometimes it really does feel like something is squeezing my internal organs.

My rational self says - 'This person is not single, not someone I know personally, and nowhere near me geographically. How did you let this happen; this is stupid; STAHP.' My emotional self says - 'This person feels like the right one; everything they do brings me joy and I want to be with them.'

I try to tell myself to avoid contact with my crush so that my feelings will eventually heal over and go away, but I keep picking at the scab by following them online. It hurts, but I still enjoy what they do and how I feel when I'm around them (in whatever capacity I can).
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby betsytheripper » 24 Aug 2015, 20:05

Helvetica, as someone who kind of constantly has ebbs and tides of crushes, I'd like to offer this tidbit of perspective:

If they are far away, how well do you truly know them? Do you have a crush on them, or who you think they are? Especially when there's distance involved, you may find later that there's parts of their personality you haven't seen that you don't like. My personal way of coping with what at the time may seem like a dire crush is to think about if I am crushing on them or my idealization of them. It kind of pulls perspective to the emotion for me, at least, and tends to calm everything down.

I hope this can help you ease the pain, at least a little bit.
-betsy
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby RedHelveticaCake » 25 Aug 2015, 08:30

Thanks. I'm well aware that this crush is not based on a whole lot of concrete knowledge of the person, which is what makes this whole thing so infuriating. I know better than this, but it's happening anyway, regardless of any rational input.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 25 Aug 2015, 15:58

There are more than one The Right One.

I had been in a similarish boat as you. Crushed on a person for a year.
But I crushed on an "avatar" I created of that person. I miss interpreted the signals they were sending off. I ignored their faults. I wasn't crushing on them, I was crushing on the idea of crushing on someone who was them perfected.

It hurts not being with them. It also feels nice being in a crushy bubble.

I will be thinking of you. I hope you can find ways of earthing your fantasies. Try and open your eyes and see all of them, good and bad bits. See them as flawed human. It might help you rationalise what you feel.

Are you sure you have romantic feelings? Love is a humongously broad term which the English language fails to understand.


What I had was that I was romantically attracted to the perfection version of this person. But I felt something close to "soul mate" to the person themselves. You can have an intense affection for someone and it not be sexual at all.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby fantôme » 26 Aug 2015, 00:35

Well put, people are often not what they at first seem to be - whether by your own romanticisation or misinterpretation, or by their failure in communicating or just downright fabrication of personality. A lot of things can go wrong. My approach to crushing has always been: have no expectations, but pay attention to chemistry.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 26 Aug 2015, 01:46

Had a friend of my friend who I miss dearly. In fact, I kept waking up, went back to sleep and they kept featuring in it.
It was a pleasant experience in the dream. But of course, when you wake up you're like "Oh... What now...? That was kinda, weird, I miss it..."
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Kapol » 27 Aug 2015, 18:00

I found the last four years of High School in yearbook form. It's really neat, and I want to go back and look through them... but I'm honestly scared. High school wasn't my best time. And, more than that, it feels like a reminder that I literally haven't gotten anywhere in the last 6 years...

And now I feel old to top it off. :(
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 28 Aug 2015, 07:58

A Youtuber is a little more open that other Youtubers about their fetish and it's quite uncomfortable.
I feel like I shouldn't be spooked by it because what he likes is up to him and what I like my creep other people out.
But still, it's slightly creepy since he combines it with his Youtube topic, and that topic appeals to children.
His fetish is restraint. I would say bondage but that conjures up images planted by society's interpretation of "bondage".
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby betsytheripper » 28 Aug 2015, 12:55

Even though I'm upset my car isn't working, deciding to just deal with it after the move has been a big relief. And while I hate moving and the uncertainty of this move in particular (there's an at least 5 hour gap between when I have to turn keys in and when I get keys, and I have cats and no idea what to do besides sit in the car with them on top of I think my mom mixed up her days and I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm moving tomorrow-Sunday not Sunday-Monday as I actually am and she's my only assistance with the move), I'm feeling good about how prepared I am, and am glad to be going to a bigger place with central AC, less neighbors, closer to campus, and a semi-private front porch and back patio.

I have to get back to cleaning though. I hate the packing and deep cleaning aspects of moving. They're the worst.
-betsy
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 30 Aug 2015, 09:31

Attended my sister's wedding yesterday. It was a lovely informal party that definitely suited my sister.
Mixed emotions come into play as I walked away with what looked like the beginnings of 3 horns growing out of my head. The mosquitos were terrible.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 30 Aug 2015, 10:15

6PM!
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 30 Aug 2015, 12:11

I noticed how alone I felt in church today after service. Everyone was chatting with each other and I was trapped against the wall with no one to talk to.

I ended up talking with a few people I knew.

There's too many people at my church in the morning service. I end up feeling alone in the sea of people.
I prefer the evening service with fewer people. I feel less overwhelmed.

I guess if I carry out my plan on moving to Catalonia, if I feel alone in that church, it will be no worse than here...
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 30 Aug 2015, 19:50

I'm typing this from a hotel in the Albertan Rockies. I'm with my family, the scenery is beautiful, the trip's been fun, the food has been gorgeous throughout, the people have all been lovely, and there's still about a week of it left.

I am, however, still managing to feel utterly depressed, lonely and miserable a lot of the time, and don't know what I could be doing to feel better. I kinda wanna just be back home- not because there's anything I'm particularly looking forward to back there, but just because it would be home.

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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Twinklefeet » 31 Aug 2015, 13:25

I missed out on the registration for an event as demand was super high, but I did manage to get on the waiting list and I'd say there's an OK chance of me getting a ticket. Most of my friends did not get this far and they're talking about not even bothering to try. I'd rather not end up going alone. I'm sure we could do something fun together otherwise, but it feels bad to miss out.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 06 Sep 2015, 12:43

Came back from an epic weekend.
Two of my friends got married. On top of that, a vast amount of my friends were there too. Including my Catalan brother.

I am now at home. Missing my Catalan brother. I will see him again in under too months. I'm happy and sad at the same times.

I need assistance with focusing on the happiness.

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