The Mixed Emotion Thread

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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 19 Aug 2016, 01:39

Shutting off the ability for emotions to affect me seems to be really helpful during times that some would find stressful, especially when you get some possible bad news. My mother had to go into hospital again last night, they may have to remove her colon (needs a scan first).
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 19 Aug 2016, 15:18

Two friends of mine are in a comedic youtube music video.

They are the two having fun during a car wash. I do not know how to take this. It's a feeling like when you first uncover condoms in your parents' bedroom. You know on an intellectual level that they have a love life. It's just weird when you are reminded on a real level.

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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby NebulosDisconcertion » 26 Aug 2016, 23:14

I found out someone is married and I thought 'What a surprise, how nice for her'.
I found out she's married to a woman and my happiness for her became more genuine.
Why did that happen? That's not how I want to react.
Also I'm jealous. Feel bad about that, too.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby JustAName » 27 Aug 2016, 09:30

I think it's because we often seek to support queer romance and happiness doubly so because it can face such challenges. This isn't to say it's not genuine, it's just also a, "Gotta be real supportive!" sort of moment.

Also, on a warmer note, you get to think of how whatever struggle she might have faced for her identity, she has now found happiness. And that's wonderful!

Also, it's one more point of queer visibility which is always nice and personally makes me happy.

And it's not unreasonable to be jealous of happiness, tbh. Just separate the feelings of wanting happiness from the being happy for her and you should be alright.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 28 Aug 2016, 12:25

I do have the thought that since society makes it harder for people to be in same sex relations, people who want a sincere deep lifelong mono relationship with someone of the same gender decide they're worth that extra potential difficulty. And as people who are outside of the relationship we want to support them harder because of this.

It's nice seeing happy heterosexual relationships. But I find same sex relationships cuter because I want that to be considered more standard.

I am feeling envy of my two friends who are together. I have the same issue of happiness for them and wanting to have what they have.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby My pseudonym is Ix » 29 Aug 2016, 14:54

NebulosDisconcertion wrote:I found out someone is married and I thought 'What a surprise, how nice for her'.
I found out she's married to a woman and my happiness for her became more genuine.
Why did that happen? That's not how I want to react.


I do this all the time.

A fact often underappreciated by the LGBT movement in general, I feel is that being LGBT is... kinda weird. I don't at all mean that negatorily; I mean that it puts one in a minority that gets relatively little cultural exposure, meaning to a lot of folk raised straight-and-narrow it just instinctively feels a bit off. Even if you're as supportive of LGBT rights and freedoms as this forum tends to be, you are not immune to this bias; it's like watching somebody enjoy eating liver, with the key difference that it's critically bad form to visibly retch.

I guess what I mean to say is- sorry if we find it a bit difficult to get our whole brains on board sometimes. We try, really.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 14 Oct 2016, 05:20

I finished watching Gravity Falls.

The feels. The series got really good after the mid-point of the second series.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Dutch guy » 15 Oct 2016, 07:20

Within 24 hours of being asked: "Would you mind terribly going to Taiwan?" I'm on my way to Taiwan.

Not entirely sure how I feel about it. Its all happening fast and its the first time I'm taking an intercontinental flight by myself. On the other hand I'm going to Taiwan and getting paid to do so. Though I doubt I will be getting to do much touristy stuff.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 16 Oct 2016, 15:08

My most favorite husband has fixed up a computer for me to use since my other one killed the motherboard. Luckily we had 3 spare towers.
But I can't do anything outside of browsing the internet since it only has 2GB of RAM.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 17 Oct 2016, 04:34

MinniChi wrote:My most favorite husband has fixed up a computer for me to use since my other one killed the motherboard. Luckily we had 3 spare towers.
But I can't do anything outside of browsing the internet since it only has 2GB of RAM.


How many secret husbands do you have? UNCLEAN!
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 17 Oct 2016, 12:39

Elomin Sha wrote:
MinniChi wrote:My most favorite husband has fixed up a computer for me to use since my other one killed the motherboard. Luckily we had 3 spare towers.
But I can't do anything outside of browsing the internet since it only has 2GB of RAM.


How many secret husbands do you have? UNCLEAN!



I have no secret husbands, and currently only one husband. Which makes him my favorite husband. Much like how you are my favorite Elomin.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Elomin Sha » 18 Oct 2016, 01:24

LIES!
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby hacofo » 04 Nov 2016, 06:36

I'm actually not sure if this fits here, the depressing, happy or venting thread...
Well actually with that combination it should fit in quite well with mixed emotions.

I managed to power through two rather large projects at work, that required me to work 60 - 70 hour weeks for the last two month, one is finished now and the other one should be done before my Desert Bus break starts. But the downside was that I totally bombed today's test at University because with the 20 hours I have to be present at University there wasn't enough time left to learn for that. (Tests are Mandatory so not going wasn't an Option)

Aside from that, I'm totally happy that one of my best friends had his first child with his girlfriend a few weeks ago. But I can't help feeling somewhat envious, he's younger than me and has it all worked out.
I'll turn 30 in a few weeks, am married to my job and university and single. (Not that there is enough time left in the day to develop a relationship.)
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 07 Nov 2016, 16:54

Returned from a solo trip to Catalonia to see friends there. It was a lot harder emotionally that I thought since I ended up spending a few days alone out there. It gave me chance to introspect and see what really mattered in my life.
And now I am home, with a new outlook.
I was not able to see my good friend there. I was so very close, but he was way too occupied to be able to give any time.

But the future is unknown.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 07 Nov 2016, 16:54

Returned from a solo trip to Catalonia to see friends there. It was a lot harder emotionally that I thought since I ended up spending a few days alone out there. It gave me chance to introspect and see what really mattered in my life.
And now I am home, with a new outlook.
I was not able to see my good friend there. I was so very close, but he was way too occupied to be able to give any time.

But the future is unknown.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby empath » 15 Nov 2016, 11:39

Just had a job interview; it was a lock - as soon as I showed up I had the job, the rest of the time was just some paperwork and training. :)

The mixed emotion is - uniquely I did this while gainfully employed already (though the term is 'underemployed'), so I also had to give notice with my current company, and I'm gonna kinda miss 'em.

...but this is the taxi business; the current company is not getting enough work to sustain me. I hate to speak ill of others, but the company is being mismanaged, with the owner trying to operate a 'latch-key' operation with little input needed from him...and the company is suffering; having delays in getting accounts paid (and thus income to maintain the cars, PAY THE DRIVERS, etc.) New drivers are just put on the road with almost nothing for training - one chap only had his taxi driver's license for a few weeks and had only moved to the city a month before; he didn't know where any big landmarks were, he needed to be shown how to use the RADIO and the METER (!).

By contrast; as I said, the other cab company spent a good while getting me, and experienced cabbie, up to speed on their specific procedures - this contract with <company> or that, where the stands are, how to use the debit machine (I've used the exact same model but I did learn a couple of shortcuts :) ).

And while most cab companies pay you once a week, this one pays you the next day; if you go out and get $300 in fares but most of it was debit and credit card slips, when you start your shift the next day there'll be your share of that waiting for you in cash.

And this owner is VERY proactive; he head-hunted a couple of the brokers from my old company; he paid for the cars to be repainted; he paid for minor repairs (replace a missing hubcap, etc). The garage has a car wash you cna use for free to keep the cab shiny and new, he pays for drivers to get first aid training (the next class is this sunday) and so on; he lives by the axiom "it takes money to make money" and HE PROVES IT.

So while it's a tiny bit sad to leave my current employer, I'm looking forward to a company that SORTS OUT a lot of the headaches same said current/former employer leaves up in the air...
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 02 Dec 2016, 14:07

My 7 year old is making dinner tonight. Nuggets and KD, but I'm sick, so it's amazing.

Mixed emotions because the Mom part of me is just a little scared he's going to get hurt (a little burn doesn't scare me, the big burn does). The professional cook in me is afraid he'll ruin it. But I'm so proud of him. The war of emotions is so real.

As I type this, the oven is beeping, and he is telling it "Yes, I hear you. Wait Oven! Yes Oven, Stop!"

Exactly what I do. :lol:
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Omega Lairon » 09 Dec 2016, 15:17

Have an odd one today.

So I've had anger issues for a large part of my life. I'd let some really dumb, insignificant thing get to me, and then I'd be yelling and swearing... there'd be a nonzero amount of property damage and self harm. The worst part is that it tended to be a self-sustaining cycle, the original irritation would just start the ball rolling, and then I'd just be angry because I was already angry, etc.

These last couple of years I've really been putting effort into calming the f*** down and trying to be a less angry dude in general. And not just for my own benefit, but because deep down I really do care about my family and people around me, and my actions were just making all their lives crappy too.

It hasn't been the smoothest journey though - I've made mistakes, little relapses... I can barely make it through a morning commute without at minimum calling other drivers some of the more offensive synonyms for "mentally incapable". BUT by and large, it's been a productive period in my life - I feel generally better, I don't get angry all that often any more, and when I do, it's a lot less intensely.

So, flash forward to this morning. I'm playing Pokemon, which is usually a pretty simple / easy game for me (and honestly, most people). I get to this one fight which just seems unreasonably tough... the guy just keeps getting bulls*** critical hits, he has really great type coverage over my team, etc. So it takes me a few tries to beat him (I mean... technically I'd have got it in one, but I'm playing by dumb self imposed rules where I don't allow fainting or using items), and during this, I sadly let my anger get the better of me for a moment. But hey, it's okay... this is what I've been training for. It takes me a minute to cool down, but eventually I just sorta shrug it off and go about my morning (beating the s*** out of that particular trainer helped a lot : p )

A little after that, dad comes in from his morning swimming / breakfast. I make an admittedly dumb comment to him - essentially "where's my food?", which he responds to with his trademark passive-aggressive pissy attitude. That's always fun to deal with. Fortunately I had calmed down from my own deal enough to not feed into it and get caught in a negative energy / anger spiral thing. It still annoyed me a little... I mean, it sucks if you have a crappy morning, but that's no excuse to take it out on someone else. And that's when I realised that maybe I'd made more progress with my anger management than I tend to give myself credit for. I saw where I had come from, and I reacted to it with calmness and gently keeping it from getting any worse.

I mean, it's still not great because he doesn't seem to have gotten any less angry at all, but still, baby steps. Also, I guess a mental note to watch out for things that I might say or do that would be a trigger for someone else's anger explosion. So I feel happy for my progress, a little concerned about his (or lack thereof), and also a little hurt/annoyed at him getting pissy... and also still a little from Pokemon : \

TL;DR - Trying to be less angry, had a mild relapse, avoided a potential fight because I was able to stay relatively calm.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 10 Dec 2016, 10:56

Omega Lairon wrote:Have an odd one today.

TL;DR - Trying to be less angry, had a mild relapse, avoided a potential fight because I was able to stay relatively calm.



This belongs in the thread of Win more than the Mixed. It's great improvement if you're noticing it. Congratulations!
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Omega Lairon » 10 Dec 2016, 14:00

Emotions are tricky. It was still pretty fresh when I posted it, so I guess I was feeling more of the bad with the good. And/or I was a little worried that the progress has overall been good, but that incident was particularly worrying. *shrug* Emotions are tricky.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Jenelmo » 12 Dec 2016, 12:31

My friend is coming home.'
I have a good friend who since August has been having an internship in Australia and was supposed to take a semester there as well this spring.
But she has decided after a very rough fall that she is coming home around New Year and taking the final year at the school were we both go.

One one hand i feel very sad that she has had such a bad fall, as she really deserved so much better. Also I was going to visit her for a fortnight around easter, something i was looking forward to, but that was mostly because i missed her.

On the other hand i am glad that she is coming home, have missed her, and are looking forward to hanging out.
And i feel kind off guilty that i am happy she is coming home
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby MinniChi » 27 Jan 2017, 18:31

My husband brought me home a bottle of wine tonight!

I'm pregnant, and thus, should not drink.
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Re: The Mixed Emotion Thread

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 11 Feb 2017, 15:36

+ I keep making new friends.

- Some of them are people I get attracted to but discover they are already in a romantic relationship or are sexually incompatible.
Or are single, and compatible but I have no idea when I will meet them again to get a feel of the vibe, and too afraid of ruining a good early friendship. After one night, they are a very lovely person.

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