The Mixed Emotion Thread

[goat]

Uh... community college consists of classes aimed at middle schoolers, classmates who are mostly much older than me, so I don't really spend time with them... it's somewhat like high school, and somewhat a boring waste of time that I'm sitting through so I can leave. I don't learn anything there. I've only really made friends in one class, which was a required class for transferring, most of which I'd gotten out of the way with AP classes etc, so most classes I take are just for the credits. Not to mention my mom flipping out at me on a weekly basis for not attaching the same level of meaning to "family" that she does.

And this is essentially different from the college experience... how?

(that was completely serious, btw. Methinks this is a classic case of grass being greener and whatnot. What exactly are your expectations of "the college experience"?)

[JustAName]

To have classes that actually teach me something? To not be verbally abused on a regular basis?

[theDreamer]

To have classes that actually teach me something? To not be verbally abused on a regular basis?

...Don't go to college...

[JustAName]

...I really didn't want to cry today as well. Fuck.

[I X]

Guys, I know college can be a pain, but way to sell it. I mean, jeez. Most of the time it's fine, for me anyway. The good FAR outweighs the bad, if you're
-doing a course you're actually interested in
-remotely competent
-making an effort
so there's no need to make it look so bleak. Just saying.

[Metcarfre]

I don't think 'verbally abused' was referring to college, it was referring to her mom. I think.

[goat]

Guys, I know college can be a pain, but way to sell it. I mean, jeez. Most of the time it's fine, for me anyway. The good FAR outweighs the bad, if you're
-doing a course you're actually interested in
-remotely competent
-making an effort
so there's no need to make it look so bleak. Just saying.

Well, it's not all bleak, but it's not exactly fundamentally different from she's saying, either. It sounds an awful lot like she's stuck in a shitty class(es) with shitty profs and shitty students. That happens at every college/university.

My guess was (and still remains) that this is a case of greener grass on the other side of the fence, in no small part stemming from larger issues. Fayili, we're not trying to be mean, but what we're saying is true. There are shitty classes/profs/students/environments everywhere and you're really not missing out on much of what would commonly be considered "the college experience" by attending your specific shitty classes. In fact, we're arguing that these shitty experiences are pretty much integral parts of "the college experience".

Nobody when talking about college/uni will tell you about all the great profs and classes they had (unless they're full of shit). Most of what you'll get is how much class X sucked, or why Prof Y was incompetent (have I told you about the one where my prof was late to her own final?).

So yeah, it sucks that you have to miserable at home (nobody likes being at home when they've started school), but you've only got another year and then you can go as far away as you'd like to finish up.

edit: @met, I assumed that was a rather thinly veiled stab at us, but I can see the mom thing, too.

[goat]

double post:

totally just making this worse, aren't I?

[JustAName]

I JUST WANT TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HOME, OKAY?

And yes, it was about my mom. Slightly hyperbole, but sometimes it feels that bad.

Christ, I never should have said anything. In the first place.

[I X]

I have some great lecturers and classes. Sure, there are plenty of crap ones, too, but why be so down on everything? I'm here to learn, among other things, and I'll only really get one shot, so there's no point in complaining about the bad stuff and ignoring the good.

Further, I don't think she's gone into all that much detail about her classes on here. They really are below university standards. And for good reason. It's not a university. So there is almost certainly going to be a net improvement. Am I even making sense? I'm quite tired.

[JustAName]

I'm going top posting now. I'm sorry. I didn't-- I'm sorry.

[Metcarfre]

No need to be sorry, we're just giving our perspective.

Well, at least at school you can usually contrast the shitty classes with the very good ones.

Taking the first two years in college - as opposed to university, to use the Canadian paralance - is generally an OK idea, as the first/second year courses tend to contain the shitty stuff.

...On the side of being dumb/having dumb people/dumb profs. Conversely the later years shitty courses are dumb because of how stupidly hard they are.

But, again, there's generally enough really good stuff to make up for it.

[Tycherin]

I'm sticking my head in to throw in my vote for college being kinda alright. If you don't put any effort into choosing courses you'll enjoy, then it's going to suck. Also, if you don't put any effort into said courses, it's probably going to suck. That said, if you get yourself into some courses you enjoy and you work at them, they can be really amazing experiences. It's like a lot of things in life like that: garbage in, garbage out.

Plus, you get to be away from home and on your own for the first time. So that's neat-o.

I have some great lecturers and classes. Sure, there are plenty of crap ones, too, but why be so down on everything? I'm here to learn, among other things, and I'll only really get one shot, so there's no point in complaining about the bad stuff and ignoring the good.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Metcarfre]

Use ratemyprofessor.com or local equivalent. IT WORKS.

[JustAName]

I use it. I thought I was going to be okay. Then I spend all last semester in a class - a Shakespeare class - the ONE CLASS TO WHICH I WAS LOOKING FORWARD - bored out of my mind. We either made T-charts with themes on the one side and images on the other, or watched a movie or (badly acted) scenes from the play we were studying at the time. That's not college. That's not even high school. Hell, that's BARELY middle school.

[semysane]

Actually, that sounds like every university English class I've ever taken.

[theDreamer]

...I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to be so negative.

I do totally get living away from home: one of the things I looked forward to most about going to school (these past months of summer break have been hell for me, I assure you).

It's just...Up here in Canada, things are really different, and it's hard to compare.

We have private institutions, which are bullshit scams, like Everest College; we have good colleges which offer 3 or 4 year programs and are very hands on and prepare you for a job; we have high level universities that are very abstract and...well, high level, and expensive.

I have to work hard to remind myself that your community college != our "college."

Secondly, the comment about dorms was merely sparked by you, not directed at you.

I have cousins in the states who are living in dorms still, and while I doubt I would WANT to, the fact that at my school that option does not even EXIST continues to piss me off.

I am truly sorry.

[Master Gunner]

I have to go with that being barely middle school. I haven't taken any English courses since AP, but I'm still fairly sure the ones here are better. I'm sorry we haven't being more helpful, Fay, I guess we just didn't realize exactly the scope of how sucky your current school is, and now it's sounding more like a high school equivalency course than post-secondary. When you do get away from home and into a decent school, things will improve, and you will have plenty of fun times, I'm sure.

[JustAName]

Thanks. I'm sorry, guys. I don't even understand my emotions lately. I'm not entirely sure there isn't something wrong with my hormones. Bluh.

[JustAName]

Dreamer, Gunner, Metcarfre, and Goat: I made this for youuuuuu.

[Deedles]

I love WoW, I really do, but I know how the tale goes. I get nostalgic about it and one more fall for it's simply epic world and music, and I feel like playing it again ... Yet, I know how it'll go, like it always does. I come back strong for a month or two, and then I'm annoyed by how much time the game is taking up from my music and drawing, and even from playing other games, and I fade away and finally quit the game ... again

Maybe I should really draw that WoW comic that I've considered doing for a while? It might help me satisfy the part of me that misses the world, lore and simply the feel of Warcraft, but doesn't mean me paying a 13 Euros/10 quid subscription fee.

[Tapir12]

@Fayili:

For what it's worth, I had a lot of friends who stayed local for the first 2 years and then transferred to a university for their last 2 and I think they all had the university experience regardless. And in my second year I lived in a dorm with people from the first all the way through to the fifth year. Plus I went to Uni for my first year and had a pretty terrible experience. It wasn't until second year that I started to enjoy being at university.

As for the next year, could you move out but stay in the city you are now? Maybe find a place with a couple friends? For academics, are there any extra-curricular groups or clubs that you could join that would be more stimulating? A debate team? A volunteer group? I did a lot of volunteering while I was at school and I actually think I learned more from that than I ever did in my classes. Is there a school newspaper you could be the editor for? Or could you talk to a prof about doing an assignment differently? If you find the right teacher, they can be really open to allowing some flexibility. Or maybe you could audit a class at a local university? Even if the classes are boring (and even uni ones can be) there's a lot more to a good college experience.

If you feel like you are wasting your time right now, it's up to you to find a way to get something out of it. If it's not what you dreamed, don't worry too much. Take it as motivation to do something differently or try something new. What opportunities do you have because of where you are now?

[JustAName]

I thought I would be able to move into an apartment with a friend this year, but she wouldn't be ready until Novemeber, and I *might* be able to get favorable arrangements come January, so it might not be worth it. We'll see. Another frustrating thing is that the school has no performing arts. Another school in the system has an orchestra, but I've heard from the girl who was first chair clarinet before me that it really sucked. The ensemble I used to play with invites grads back, but I have a class during their rehearsal time this semester.

I'm working on a couple other projects; I may get more involved with some creatve projects, and hopefully those will help me deal somewhat. I'm also looking to do concurrent enrollment and take some classes at UC Berkeley; unfortunately ALL the interesting English classes are restricted, and the programming course I was looking at has been changed/isn't happening this semester, so I think I'll take some Linguistics courses if I can; it should be interesting and I've got a friend who's taken several courses in the subject and would most likely love to talk to me about it and help me if I get muddled.

Basically, I've found ways of coping. When it gets too much I start another knitting or writing project, or practice clarinet or numb myself with excessive media... but sometimes it gets to me. And this was one of those times. :/

[epocalypse]

Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to share this again. I had to talk someone important to me off a 20 story ledge in NYC from here, in Los Angeles, and the main person I want to talk with about it is still not talking to me. I succeeded, and talked to some other trusted people who helped me vent, so this is, in the end, a net win (a jumper not jumping is good news, especially when it's one of my closest friends) but I'm still a bit more than emotionally drained by this. Totally surrendered this day to recouping mental balance.

[JustAName]

Oh man, I totally understand that. If you want an ear for any of the vents you don't wish to unleash on the people who depend on you, I'm so here for you.