KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

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epocalypse
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KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby epocalypse » 13 Aug 2010, 11:27

Well, folks, as some of you may know, I just moved to a great new place in LA (and went temporarily looney tooney, but better now, thanks :) ). Part of this means that for the first time in my own place I have a really boss kitchen. I was raised cooking by an Italian mother who's far my superior, and a Portuguese father who can make three things awesome: Omelets, Barbecue, and a single kind of cake, and now I'm finally again going to be cooking for myself a lot.

My favorite style of cooking is what I call Foodprov, (Food Improv). Though I know a lot of recipes, I've always loved making up new stuff up. This week, I've cooked for myself a bunch, and done some pretty cool things, which I'll list here. I invite you all to come and do the same, MAKE YOUR FOOD UP, YO!

First up: Chicken Fried Riceless

I set out to make something that taste like japanese fried rice (or yaki soba) which I've tried before, always without a recipe, and usually coming up with edible failures. Ironically, today, on the eve of my most successful attempt, I was missing more than just a recipe. I had no rice or noodles, so here's what I did:

Ingredients:

1/4 stick of butter
~1/3 cup of skim milk
3/4 lb of chicken, diced
1 big semi sweet onion, large diced
2 eggs
~1 tbsp of Mustard Seed
Salt/Soysauce and Black Ground Pepper to taste (Fresh if you've got it) (SPICES)
1 Zucchinni, medium diced.
Olive Oil, 3 splashes

Here's what you all do:

first, dice your onion into thick slices. For me, this took eight cuts (cut into halves, then each half into eighths (16ths of the original onion)) These should seperate into fairly large slices. Place aside.

Now, turn on the vent above your stove, get a fairly large pan (a wok might be good, but not necessary) take your butter, and the milk, put em in the pan, light onto a a hisghish medium flame, and spread the suckers out, coating the pan's surface

At this phase, add a bit of SPICE!

After you start to get a sizzle, a little browning in the butter, toss in yo ONION, and add egg number one. Turn to high for a minuter, and start mixing that all up until the egg starts to cook. Set aside back on medium.

Now take your chicken, dice up to at least nuggetish size (you want chicken to cook through, so be careful. Add into the pan, mix thoroughly. Add a bit more SPICE!! Keep going with this until the chicken flesh starts to cook (not all the way through). At this point, add egg number 2, amp up the heat a bit again, and stir that fry until egg starts to cook. SPICE as necessary. Kick it back to medium.

Chop up your Zucchini into medium-small sized slices, and add it in. At this point, add the olive oil, 3 splashes (Splash is to Olive Oil as Swig is to Beer, it's all very scientific) SPICE!

Now, keep on mixing and frying, until the onion starts to show some browning. At this point, mix in all the Mustard Seed, mixing it in thoroughly. Keep cooking and adjusting spice level for taste (use the onions to taste test, if you've done everything right, they should be quite juicy, and really display the whole flavor) until the chicken is cooked through. This should take about twenty minutes to prepare, and is about a lunch for four.

Add your experiments! DO IT NOW!!!

Edit: I meant Zucchini, sometimes I confuse the names, IN MY MIND!
Last edited by epocalypse on 14 Aug 2010, 09:02, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby madrak_the_red » 13 Aug 2010, 11:30

Take bread, lightly toast, butter up, add HP sauce, fold over, voila, brown sauce sandwiches (I don't cook much)

...so good...
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epocalypse
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby epocalypse » 13 Aug 2010, 11:32

Haha, Delicious.

*Deactivates Sulu Mode*
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby Elomin Sha » 13 Aug 2010, 12:20

Don't forget to mush the bag.
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby Metcarfre » 13 Aug 2010, 12:42

Who cooks cucumber?
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby madrak_the_red » 13 Aug 2010, 13:35

oh yeah. That is weird
You're weird, epoc
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby Snowfire » 13 Aug 2010, 15:47

The texture is sometimes needed ;)
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby tak197 » 13 Aug 2010, 17:25

I'm guessing because he didn't have zucchini.
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epocalypse
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Re: KICK ASS KITCHEN MEANS KICK ASS COOKING~FOODPROV!

Postby epocalypse » 14 Aug 2010, 09:01

Probably. In fact, I had two zucchini and one cucumber.... let me go check.

Yep sorry, my fault, meant a zucchini, I'd already used the Cuc in a salad.

So I'm not weird, I'm ADD... and Weird.
Time flies when I launch grandfather clocks from my trebuchet.
Arius wrote:Epocalypse? More like Epicalypse, amirite? -Arius
and now, here's a link to new animated film, broken_test_zero's blog, and here'sa link to our facebook page.
my personal site

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