Question for the dating oriented

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Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 15 Sep 2010, 23:06

So I am me. And me is not a social person unless I know them. Even if I know them I tend to be shy and shut up. And when I don't I know that I can be semi annoying very quick. Well as you know I broke up w a chick in march known only as "psycho bitch". Well I haven't wanted to touch the dating scene for a few reasons. 1) I dont want to end up with another "psycho bitch" 2) Im not social 3) I don't think I have a snowballs chance in hell of getting a chick. BUT recently (3 or so months) I found a chick at work that I like. Shes into anime, manga, video games, and like pokemon :O I KNOW. I have a thing that could be considered a crush, but I don't show it as I usually would because as stated above, im not like that.

THEN theres the other thing, shes a coworker, and in my list of rules, RULE NUMBER ONE IS: DON'T DATE YOUR COWORKERS. Which is a good thing cuz it can fuck things up. Now thats my side, people think shes weird and somewhat annoying but I've dealt with worse. Now for her side from my perspective.... We hit it off instantly and started talking about anime and our favorites, followed by me lending her some books (my whole collection over time) and such. Now, at work she would occasionally pop outta nowhere next to me and we'd talk til she had to get back to work, and then we'd repeat this once in a while. Some times I joke about her (nothing mean course) but she would reiterate with "Gosh, your so mean" (and yes she said gosh) but with a general smile and laugh with it. Recently shes moved to the other shift, which means I only see her about an hour a day and thats during the time shes playing DS and im working or im off and shes going on. Some times when theres time between the break of her and my work we would share music and name off what anime or band its from which i personally consider odd as I've never done that but with two other females.

One time a couple days ago, I went to work on my day off but she was working and I had to help a coworker with something. I was sitting there waiting for another to go on break to grab some grub and she came by as I was watching something. She began to watch it too with me and occasionally tap my head phones repeatedly til i took them off and looked up at her then she just looked at me til I went back to my video. I know I seem to be ranting but with all this that we've gone back and forth with, should I scrap rule one for her, ask her to grab some grub (as a date) or should I just not try to fuck things up. I'm asking your guys opinions as I'm VERY bad with signs.

Im like this
MSN is geek the new chic? wrote:“When [a geek is] invited up for coffee, he doesn’t know if he’s being invited up for coffee or sex,” he explains. “They don’t have that emotional intelligence. They have to get really good at reading the specific clues. How close is she standing? What is her body posture? Is she laughing at my jokes?”

It reminds me of the time I said to a geek ex, giddy while out walking one spring day, “Look how blue the sky is!” Rather than taking my hand, he delivered a lengthy lecture on the Tyndall Effect: Why the Sky Is Blue. And this wasn’t a guy who lacked empathy; he nursed our houseplants back to health and cried during March of the Penguins. It’s just that a geek’s approach to life tends to be if-x-then-y. They don’t get hints.


so.. help?
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Evil Jim » 15 Sep 2010, 23:10

Dude, she likes you.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 15 Sep 2010, 23:15

But...Rule number one... THERE ARE RULES FOR A REASON
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Lavos » 15 Sep 2010, 23:17

Rules are made so there are exceptions to them, brah
i dont know what's happening anymore
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 15 Sep 2010, 23:26

brah... do you play TF2 Lavos?

hmm... still the chance of FUBARing it
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Murakami » 16 Sep 2010, 00:59

She's in different shifts right now, right? Even if you were to fuck it up, it would not make things that more difficult, right?

As Evil Jim said, it is very, very obvious she likes you. You like her too. Just go with it, and see where it leads you guys!

If you do: good luck to ya!
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby JustAName » 16 Sep 2010, 01:13

Yeah, she likes you. Or she's really bad at not flirting with people, but in that case she'll be nice about it and she'll probably be really flattered. Go for it!
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby iamafish » 16 Sep 2010, 01:15

while i would normally say that it's ok to love your neighbour, but never ok to LOVE your neighbour, given that you're on different shifts that doesn't really apply to this situation. You rule is a good one, but it need not apply here.

Ok so now we've dealt with the platinum rule, I can reiterate what everyone else has said. She is most definitely into you, and you are clearly into her. Ask for out for dinner or something. Worst case scenario she says no and things are a little weird for a while. Small price to pay. So go for it.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 16 Sep 2010, 01:21

Thanks. I'll see in a few weeks. Keep you updated. Also, different shift or not I still like the friend aspect and she IS still a coworker too<_<
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby korri » 16 Sep 2010, 04:14

iamafish wrote:while i would normally say that it's ok to love your neighbour, but never ok to LOVE your neighbour, given that you're on different shifts that doesn't really apply to this situation. You rule is a good one, but it need not apply here.

Ok so now we've dealt with the platinum rule, I can reiterate what everyone else has said. She is most definitely into you, and you are clearly into her. Ask for out for dinner or something. Worst case scenario she says no and things are a little weird for a while. Small price to pay. So go for it.


way to slyly get in the HIMYM reference. I salute you.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Gordon Fearman » 16 Sep 2010, 06:37

Lavos wrote:Rules are made so there are exceptions to them, brah

In the immortal words of the Universe's best dating expert:

If you can figure out who without cheating, then you have my blessing to date her wrote:There are no options. The Prime Directive is not a matter of degrees. It is an absolute.

Followed by the words of the Universe's most knighted dating experted:

Although, this is pretty easy to guess where it's from wrote:See the Prime Directive has many different functions. Not the least of which is to protect us. To prevent us from allowing our emotions to overwhelm our judgement.


And indeed, I must even consult the world's oldest dating expert:

No guess, this one is Plinkett wrote:So wait, love leads to the darkside but getting fucking pissed doesn't...


I rest my case. But I also ask who the hell cries at March of the Gorramn Penguins?
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Master Gunner » 16 Sep 2010, 08:23

SEAL.

THE.

DEAL.



Or not, your choice.

But still, at least ask her out for coffee or something so you can establish how far you can go with this.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Murakami » 16 Sep 2010, 08:43

Coffee is a good idea. It's friendly and allows you to explore a little. THEN you take her out on the best first date ever, or at least show her a good time.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Master Gunner » 16 Sep 2010, 08:47

Murakami wrote:or at least show her a good time.



If you know what we mean...
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Murakami » 16 Sep 2010, 09:00

Master Gunner wrote:
Murakami wrote:or at least show her a good time.



If you know what we mean...


Isn't that the third date? Or maybe you're gonna make her wait until she really, really, rehehealy wants it? :P

This should not turn into a sex discussion XD
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 16 Sep 2010, 09:45

Murakami wrote:
Master Gunner wrote:
Murakami wrote:or at least show her a good time.



If you know what we mean...


Isn't that the third date? Or maybe you're gonna make her wait until she really, really, rehehealy wants it? :P

This should not turn into a sex discussion XD

This. Of all the dudes I talk to, either I hang with the wrong people but I am the type of person who thinks sex should come last. This might be to getting into the pants of my first (and so far only) girlfriend in about 4 days but its on the bottom list (marriage not on that list)
Its like 1) meet them 2) get to know them (looks after personality MOSTLY) 3)quite a few dates 4) a few MONTHS in then I consider sex. thats how I am but when I mention it, people seem to look at me like I just shit on a plate and tried to serve it as chocolate pecan roll to them.

But ya, we'll see in a few weeks after I got everything down if I'll go for a shot.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Murakami » 16 Sep 2010, 09:56

gcninja wrote:
Murakami wrote:
This should not turn into a sex discussion XD

This. Of all the dudes I talk to, either I hang with the wrong people but I am the type of person who thinks sex should come last. This might be to getting into the pants of my first (and so far only) girlfriend in about 4 days but its on the bottom list (marriage not on that list)
Its like 1) meet them 2) get to know them (looks after personality MOSTLY) 3)quite a few dates 4) a few MONTHS in then I consider sex. thats how I am but when I mention it, people seem to look at me like I just shit on a plate and tried to serve it as chocolate pecan roll to them.

But ya, we'll see in a few weeks after I got everything down if I'll go for a shot.


I hear what you're saying man. Me and my current girlfriend are waiting too (not just because she's being vaccinated against cervical cancer, but that helps too, haha), until we can both honestly say we're having sex because of eachother not because of having sex.

Anyway, this is all things that should be discussed after we know you guys are going somewhere!

Keep us posted!
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Dutch guy » 16 Sep 2010, 11:21

LAVOS!! YOU LIVE!! We missed you around here
THE DUTCH!! THE DUTCH AGAIN!!!!!
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Dubious_wolf » 16 Sep 2010, 19:30

Holy shit It's Lavos!!!
...
I'm sorry what were we saying? oh right dating advice. I used to be similar to you dude. As I recently learning if you think there is even the tiniest attraction just ask her out! That is what a date is about seeing if you actually like each other, to get to know each other etc.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby Gordon Fearman » 16 Sep 2010, 19:41

And then thread was renamed "Lavos shows up once, hurrah!"
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 16 Sep 2010, 19:51

EJ wrote:Lyinginbedmon, I'm looking forward to when Paul or Graham reset your & Elomin's post count back to zero. If you keep it up it's bound to happen =p

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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby iamafish » 16 Sep 2010, 20:42

gcninja wrote:This. Of all the dudes I talk to, either I hang with the wrong people but I am the type of person who thinks sex should come last. This might be to getting into the pants of my first (and so far only) girlfriend in about 4 days but its on the bottom list (marriage not on that list)
Its like 1) meet them 2) get to know them (looks after personality MOSTLY) 3)quite a few dates 4) a few MONTHS in then I consider sex. thats how I am but when I mention it, people seem to look at me like I just shit on a plate and tried to serve it as chocolate pecan roll to them.

But ya, we'll see in a few weeks after I got everything down if I'll go for a shot.


Waiting is a good plan. Slow and steady wins the race (and no i'm not try to excuse my current almost 10 month sexless relationship (ok I sort of am, but waiting is still good))

@korri thanks, I'm glad you noticed.
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby the amativeness » 16 Sep 2010, 20:58

iamafish wrote:Waiting is a good plan. Slow and steady wins the race (and no i'm not try to excuse my current almost 10 month sexless relationship (ok I sort of am, but waiting is still good))


Oooh... 10 months? However have you lasted that long?

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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby iamafish » 16 Sep 2010, 23:54

well we're both virgins and it's our first relationship.

Also for the last 2 and a half months I've been on the other side of the world and will be until next june. If not for that we'd have probably done it by now. The reason we didn't for the first 7 months or so were mostly down to her wanting to take things slow. And no, I'm not bitter (Ok i am a little bit, but i'll cope)
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Re: Question for the dating oriented

Postby gcninja » 17 Sep 2010, 14:31

WEll today walking home I ran into her. She brought up the fact that her father seems to know about be and gave her a boyfriend talk, and that she mentioned that were "friends" to him( which is the second time, a few months ago we were walking home and she brought up the face that we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend)...
As she lives with ehr father (in the work housing) IDK how to proceed
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