Spammers

[goat]

Can... can we do this?

To make this a real thread:

What's the most ridiculous spam you've ever seen (the play Spamalot is not a valid answer, and I will make fun of you endlessly if you say that)?
What's the most ridiculous spam protection you've ever seen on a website?
How often do you think people fall for spam?

[Elomin Sha]

You didn't say No to this...



Customer:
Morning,

Waitress:
Morning.

Customer:
What have you got?

Waitress:
Well, there's egg and bacon,
egg sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce
served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife:
Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:
Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam
That's not got much spam in it

Wife:
I don't want any spam!

Customer:
Why can't she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage?

Wife:
That's got spam in it!

Customer:
Hasn't got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it?

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam!...)

Wife:
Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then?

Waitress:
Iiiiiiiiiiiich!!

Wife:
What do you mean 'Iiiiiiiiiich'? I don't like spam!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress (to choir):
Shut up!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:
Shut Up! Bloody Vikings!
You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife:
I don't like spam!

Customer:
Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it,
I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans,
spam, spam, spam, and spam!

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:
Shut Up!! Baked beans are off.

Customer:
Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress:
You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam,
spam and spam?

Choir (intervening):
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

[Danzama]

@elomin Sha, I now love you

[Vigafre]

To rerail the thread, I hate when I have to do more than read to get past bot security. Like what Wiki does with the whole math thing. And what some other sites do with the "Which one of these is not a cat?" Fricken hate those ones.

[Zyxst]

[empath]

{wonderful comic - see OP}

Can... can we do this?

Now, see - if I hadn't had to work today, I'd have had time to start a thread about that epic comic myself. (thanks, goat )

To make this a real thread:

What's the most ridiculous spam you've ever seen (the play Spamalot is not a valid answer, and I will make fun of you endlessly if you say that)?

Some of the more egregious spambots here can get pretty entertaining in their irrelevance to the actual topic of discussion.

What's the most ridiculous spam protection you've ever seen on a website?

I remember seeing a rather...unfortunate coincidence of words randomly choses for a 'captcha' - I saved a copy...on my dead compy, but I think Zyxst might have a copy.

EDIT: yeah, that's it (she obviously types faster than I do )

How often do you think people fall for spam?

Not very often, but apparently often enough for spammers to stay in business...

To rerail the thread, I hate when I have to do more than read to get past bot security. Like what Wiki does with the whole math thing. And what some other sites do with the "Which one of these is not a cat?" Fricken hate those ones.

Dude; I do that sorta 'brain puzzle' stuff for FUN...

[Master Gunner]

@Elomin: I was going to do that, but I stopped myself because I had to get to class and couldn't remember more than a couple lines off the top of my head. Thanks for picking up the slack.

[Vigafre]

Dude; I do that sorta 'brain puzzle' stuff for FUN...

Like what specifically? I'm not sure what you mean by "brain puzzle."

[empath]

Well, for one thing: my Brain Age is currently about 27.

And often enough, there's these activities; Odd One Out, for example, or Prison Pete, or Evil Twin...



ADDENDUM: Scratch that; today I hit a record for Brain Age - 21(!)

[Myrph]

I'll admit I've come across a couple of corkers, but this one really takes the biscuit, to the point where I saved a copy of it on my computer in case I needed a cheap laugh!

Do any of you still chat in Yahoo Chat?
I stopped using yahoo chat over a year ago after it was completely over ran by spam bots and arabs. But out of curiosity I logged in the other day to see if it had gotten any better but of course it's worse than ever. I think there were probably 15 bots toevery 1 real person in there. I also noticed that they got rid of most of the adult rooms. It's nothing but a joke now, not even sure why they haven't just pulled it offline by now.

The rest just tried to promote the really catchy named 'Oohya Chat' (points if you can guess where that came from) and wasn't as amusing as 'over ran by spam bots and arabs'!

NB - No offence meant to Arabs, I just copied this word for word from an actual spam post from a forum I moderate!

[goat]

So... it's racist and self referential? I am both disgusted and surprised.

Surgusted.

I hate not being able to tell the difference between L, I and 1 in captchas. Also 0 and O.

[Dubious_wolf]

So... it's racist and self referential? I am both disgusted and surprised.

Surgusted.

I hate not being able to tell the difference between L, I and 1 in captchas. Also 0 and O.

Duly noted. I also find it neat this above post is 1948.... just random.

[BennyBuns]

You didn't say No to this...



Customer:
Morning,

Waitress:
Morning.

Customer:
What have you got?

Waitress:
Well, there's egg and bacon,
egg sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce
served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife:
Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:
Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam
That's not got much spam in it

Wife:
I don't want any spam!

Customer:
Why can't she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage?

Wife:
That's got spam in it!

Customer:
Hasn't got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it?

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam!...)

Wife:
Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then?

Waitress:
Iiiiiiiiiiiich!!

Wife:
What do you mean 'Iiiiiiiiiich'? I don't like spam!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress (to choir):
Shut up!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:
Shut Up! Bloody Vikings!
You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife:
I don't like spam!

Customer:
Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it,
I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans,
spam, spam, spam, and spam!

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:
Shut Up!! Baked beans are off.

Customer:
Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress:
You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam,
spam and spam?

Choir (intervening):
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

GOD DAMMIT

[Elomin Sha]

GOD DAMMIT

I will be your eLOLmin Sha for the evening, sanity will not be included for the duration of my posting on this forum.

[Evil Jim]

I hate not being able to tell the difference between L, I and 1 in captchas. Also 0 and O.

Agreed.

I hate captchas in general as they are an annoying hoop to jump through for various website functions. Often the words to enter are so scrambled I can't even read them. This is not useful or productive.

A couple websites I frequent have better spambot tests. Or rather, if not better, than easier to tolerate. If you use the contact form at ectomo.com you are asked a question like "Spider Jerusalem's surname is what Holy City?" & given a field to fill in. At the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival website, when you create an account you are asked what H.P. Lovecraft's first name is.

P.S. Thanks, Elomin

[Elomin Sha]

I do my best to make others laugh.

[BennyBuns]

GOD DAMMIT

I will be your eLOLmin Sha for the evening, sanity will not be included for the duration of my posting on this forum.

Its all good. I was merely commenting on the fact that it was only the second post and someone cracked open the old spam sketch.

Your humor is welcome good sir.

[Elomin Sha]

Hang around the forum a lot longer and you'll see much of the same humour from everyone else.

[wartjr2373]

I like to plug my laptop into my TV and lie down on my bed, but unfortunately that leaves me some distance away from a keyboard, making captchas particularly annoying. Typing with the On-Screen Keyboard can be rather tedious, you see. At least MegaUpload only requires four characters to be entered, not this two-whole-words bullshit.

Related to spam, I saw a spam post in the Man Cooking - Swiss Meat Roll thread that made me lol.

Nice post really liked this, man cooking is much more better then anyone else, as all the leading hotels have men as chiefs.

[BennyBuns]

Lurking since 2OO8. But thanks.

[Dutch guy]

I like to plug my laptop into my TV and lie down on my bed, but unfortunately that leaves me some distance away from a keyboard, making captchas particularly annoying. Typing with the On-Screen Keyboard can be rather tedious, you see. At least MegaUpload only requires four characters to be entered, not this two-whole-words bullshit.

The answer: Wireless keyboard. They are not that expensive.

[Myrph]

I like to plug my laptop into my TV and lie down on my bed, but unfortunately that leaves me some distance away from a keyboard, making captchas particularly annoying. Typing with the On-Screen Keyboard can be rather tedious, you see. At least MegaUpload only requires four characters to be entered, not this two-whole-words bullshit.

The answer: Wireless keyboard. They are not that expensive.

Can be a bit of a pain to work with though. I had one for similar purposes and although it worked 90% of the time, there would be times when it just decided that it didn't want to play ball and would just not work entirely...

[Maerarde]

I bet you like no money at all cos I'm cheap that in the future you will be able to connect a usb to your brain my inserting it in the nose.

[empath]

I like to plug my laptop into my TV and lie down on my bed, but unfortunately that leaves me some distance away from a keyboard, making captchas particularly annoying. Typing with the On-Screen Keyboard can be rather tedious, you see. At least MegaUpload only requires four characters to be entered, not this two-whole-words bullshit.

The answer: Wireless keyboard. They are not that expensive.

Can be a bit of a pain to work with though. I had one for similar purposes and although it worked 90% of the time, there would be times when it just decided that it didn't want to play ball and would just not work entirely...

That other 10% is just telling you it's time to change the batteries. I've been using the same Logitech Cordless Keyboard™ for...geez, must be seven years now. Kept it through three computer changes, and currently plugged the receiver into my stand-in laptop while I save up for replacement parts for my desktop. This thing has been dropped, had stuff dropped on it, been slammed in overwhelming rage, had drinks spilled on it, and still works perfectly.

[The Jester]

Yeah, my Logitech wireless mouse and keyboard are fine except for when the batteries are dieing, and it's pretty obvious when that happens. Cordlessness FTW!