Worst game ever? You tell me.

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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Elomin Sha » 21 Jan 2011, 15:43

Oh, I completely forgot: Command & Conquer 4.

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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 21 Jan 2011, 16:07

RobertMc123 wrote:And now Game Number 2: Shadow of The Collosus(sp?)
(sorry these are long winded but these games REALLY pissed me off)

So once again I try to make myself unpopular, last night when I had some free time I decided to try out Shadow Of The Collosus on PS2, this was after listening to and old Listen Up podcast where they procrastonate about how great this game is.


I booted up the game, watched the slow opening as the young hero travels to a distant land on horseback, he turns up a temple and places a girl, who is quite obviously dead, on a plinth. Suddenly a god-like being talks to him, notices he has a legendary sword and asks what the hero wants. The hero says he wants the girl brought back to life and the god like being says he will do this but only if he kills 14 of the Collosi that roam the land beyond the temple. The young hero nods and sets off on his quest.


So you start off on your quest, you and your horse ride out onto the barren lands looking for the Collosi, and to find them you must hold up your sword and light will shine from it, if you point it in the right direct the light beam becomes more focussed and your controller vibrates. Travelling on the horse is slightly clunky and I had a lot of issues with it. So I pinpoint the first Collosi, ride across the plains, not feeling entirely comfortable with it and get to a set of cliffs and walls that I need to climb up.


Next comes the next problem, the controls, everything about the controls feels wrong. Triangle is jump but you also must hold down R1 to grab onto something. Coming off games were the controls are simple and fluid, this game feels ackward, like they thought about the controls last and focussed more up on the look of the game.

Personally I never had any problems with the controls, neither had a friend of mine as he was playing through the game, so I don't really see the problem, but each to their own.

Not to mention that you say that the controls of the horse were clunky ... well, it is a PS2 game, I haven't really played a single game from the PS2 or Nintendo 64 that can't be considered clunky when compared to Xbox 360, PS3 and Wii controls.


RobertMc123 wrote:Whilst I digress, the look of the game is fantastic, everything about it is pleasing to the eye and when you finally catch sight of any of the Collosi you are very impressed.


So I climb, ackwardly, up the cliffs, falling a few times because the damn controls wont behave. At the top of the cliff, the game suddenly takes control for a few seconds as you watch the large Collosus walks by. It is a huge lumbering beast that is carrying a club, but it is just walking along. It's not bothering anyone. Hmmm, anyway I run after it and jump and grab some fur at his ankle, the sword I hold reveals weak spots on the collosus and luckily this one has one weak spot on his ankle so I hack at that spot and the beast stumbles to one knee, this puts his body at an angle that I can now climb his huge body. That's another thing the Collosi are make of skin and stone, their bodies built in such ways that they have platforms and ledges. You need the ledges because you have a grip meter and when it runs out, you lose your grip. So I climb the beast, it takes a while, I fall off a number of times and die twice but I hoist myself up his back, the Collosus trying to throw me off it's body, but I get to the top of his head and see the weak spot. I charge up my strike and drive the sword into the top of it's head. Black blood sprays out, the energy bar goes down by a third, the Collosus howls in pain and range but does nothing else, so I charge another blow and strike again, more blood flies out and it howls again but does nothing more to get me off. The energy bar is now only one third full, one more strike but I am holding back, I could strike one more time, end this and go after the other one but it is difficult. Eventually I strike the final blow, the beast falls and I roll off it, now I just want to go on my way but no the game makes me watch the beasts death throws and then something happens to the character and he wakes up back at the temple.


In the temple I am told to go after the second one, but I am torn at this point, how selfish a character is this guy? I mean I have played anti-heroes but dude, you are killing 14 rather peaceful beasts just so you can do the mattress mambo with this chick? You make me sick! These creatures aren't terrorising anyone, in fact the lands that they occupy are EMPTY, there are no villages being destroyed, no people under threat and no big baddies to destroy, your only "enemies" are the 14 collosi and they don't know you are coming for them. They are minding their own business and along you come, the evil Don Juan, climbing their bodies and striking down these beasts for other reason except to get your nuts wet. So with a heavy heart I went after the second beast, which I finally found on a large sandy plain, it was on four legs and looked like a Collosi approximation of a dog. OH COME ON! You want me to kill a dog?


That's it!


The game is off now and I refuse to play it again. People go on at length about how beatiful and wonderous Ico and Shadow of The Collosus are, I haven't played Ico so I cannot comment, but Shadow of The Collosus is a game that makes you feel bad! Not like Manhunt which makes you feel dirty and unwashed, but bad in the fact that you are a selfish prick who kills some beasts to get sweaty and squelchy with some dead bint. You know what dude, move on! There are plenty of other girls out there, and if someone tells you to go out and kill 14 peaceful beasts to bring her back, then that person is messing with you. The people who love this game, LOVE THIS GAME, they are fanatical about it and if you speak out against it then "you didn't get it". Get what? Get that you play a selfish dickwad who is a sociopath and his sole motivation is do go balls deep in some dead broad? Well if I don't get that, then GOOD! If you want me to feel good about killing these beasts FUCK YOU. This game is horrendous in its motivations, I hate it. It's not a "bad" game by any standards, it looks nice and the theme of it is odd but it just makes you feel wrong. I choose not to kill these beasts and I have deleted my save, I wont be going back to this game ever, its sick and its wrong.

On another note, killing small animals is the first sign of a serial killer, he is killing an approximation of small animals in Colossus form, that means this guy is going to be the biggest mass murderer we have ever seen, don't encourage him!


Initially I wasn't quite sure what to write in reply to this, apart from the very thing that you mentioned: You obviously haven't gotten the point of the game. It's not meant to make you feel like a hero, because you're not. You're a man who's love for this woman has gotten him obsessed with bringing her back to life, obsessed enough to steal the sword that he has in the game and taking her to that temple. He knows far too well what he's doing, but the point is that he doesn't care about anything else then bringing his love back to life. It's not about him shoving his dick inside her, it's not about him just wanting some pussy, it's about him loving her to the degree that he will go to such means to bring her back, that he is so obsessed with that goal that he does selfish things, he does kill these seemingly harmless creatures. That's called a tradegy.

I can understand that it's not the type of game that everyone will love, but I'm just stunned at the absolutely vulgare and shallow responce you had to a game which was meant to inspire so much depth, which obviously worked on you too, but it simply wasn't your cup of tea.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Slack Mesa » 21 Jan 2011, 21:43

The worst game of all time is Half-Life.

After the headcrabs start jumping on the scientists' heads, your character is given a crowbar. But instead of letting you save the scientists by prying the headcrabs off their heads, the game expects you to use the crowbar to kill the parasites and the scientists.

Rather than letting you help the victims, the game asks you to view them as damaged goods that need to be removed from the complex, lest they lower the property values in Valve's sterile utopia. Half-Life brazenly wears its objectivism on its sleeve. I'd accuse its designers of trying to copy Bioshock, but graphics in Half-Life are so much worse that it's like they weren't even trying.

And we mustn't overlook the fact that Gordon Freeman's signature signature tool for murdering scientists is a crowbar. The game wants us to pick up a traditional blue-collar tool and use it to beat down those who dare to pursue knowledge and reason.

Half-life also takes the cult of machismo that's all too prevalent in modern gaming and escalates it to a shameful new level. The protagonist isn't just the typical FPS space marine, he has a beard to emphasize his manliness. As the other scientists have their hairstyles and facial hair replaced by headcrabs, the game portrays them as nonhuman.

The game's thinly veiled homophobia also disgusts me. When the macho, bearded, crowbar-wielding Freeman reaches the rocket engine test chamber, he finds three giant phallic symbols. Feeling threatened because they're bigger than he is, and and even more threatened because three of them are nesting together, he murders them in cold blood.

The game even promotes cruelty toward man's best friend. Every time one of the cute, harmless, 3-legged space puppies runs up to the protagonist, he kills it.

The game may be called Half-Life, but the vile misanthropes who created it are surely half dead inside.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby RobertMc123 » 22 Jan 2011, 00:38

Okay, I get it some of you liked the game, can we please get over the fact that I didn't? It's called an opinion people, everyone looks at everything differently and I looked at that game and didn't like it, much like people will look at games I like and slate them. This thread is to express what you THINK is the worst game YOU played, so please get over it and let's get back on topic. Sheesh!
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 22 Jan 2011, 04:27

Slack Mesa wrote:The worst game of all time is Half-Life.

After the headcrabs start jumping on the scientists' heads, your character is given a crowbar. But instead of letting you save the scientists by prying the headcrabs off their heads, the game expects you to use the crowbar to kill the parasites and the scientists.

Rather than letting you help the victims, the game asks you to view them as damaged goods that need to be removed from the complex, lest they lower the property values in Valve's sterile utopia. Half-Life brazenly wears its objectivism on its sleeve. I'd accuse its designers of trying to copy Bioshock, but graphics in Half-Life are so much worse that it's like they weren't even trying.

And we mustn't overlook the fact that Gordon Freeman's signature signature tool for murdering scientists is a crowbar. The game wants us to pick up a traditional blue-collar tool and use it to beat down those who dare to pursue knowledge and reason.

Half-life also takes the cult of machismo that's all too prevalent in modern gaming and escalates it to a shameful new level. The protagonist isn't just the typical FPS space marine, he has a beard to emphasize his manliness. As the other scientists have their hairstyles and facial hair replaced by headcrabs, the game portrays them as nonhuman.

The game's thinly veiled homophobia also disgusts me. When the macho, bearded, crowbar-wielding Freeman reaches the rocket engine test chamber, he finds three giant phallic symbols. Feeling threatened because they're bigger than he is, and and even more threatened because three of them are nesting together, he murders them in cold blood.

The game even promotes cruelty toward man's best friend. Every time one of the cute, harmless, 3-legged space puppies runs up to the protagonist, he kills it.

The game may be called Half-Life, but the vile misanthropes who created it are surely half dead inside.


Half-life - Released November 19, 1998.
Bioshock - Released August 21, 2007

Personally I haven't really played Half-life so I can't say that know much about the game itself, mainly remember watching my brother playing it back when I was a kid.

RobertMc123 wrote:Okay, I get it some of you liked the game, can we please get over the fact that I didn't? It's called an opinion people, everyone looks at everything differently and I looked at that game and didn't like it, much like people will look at games I like and slate them. This thread is to express what you THINK is the worst game YOU played, so please get over it and let's get back on topic. Sheesh!


I never disagreed with the fact that you dislike the game, I know very well that it's not a game that everyone will like, because it's simply that type of game. I was moreso pointing at the fact that considering that the game you dislike was all about depth, your review/opinion of it sounded quite vulgare, and shallow.

Hate the game as much as you want, I'm not going to stop you or try to change your opinion. :D
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby elvor » 22 Jan 2011, 04:58

Deedles wrote:Half-life - Released November 19, 1998.
Bioshock - Released August 21, 2007

Personally I haven't really played Half-life so I can't say that know much about the game itself, mainly remember watching my brother playing it back when I was a kid.


I sense mister mesa is trolling. :P
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 22 Jan 2011, 09:05

elvor wrote:
Deedles wrote:Half-life - Released November 19, 1998.
Bioshock - Released August 21, 2007

Personally I haven't really played Half-life so I can't say that know much about the game itself, mainly remember watching my brother playing it back when I was a kid.


I sense mister mesa is trolling. :P


Doh ><

I thought it was strange that someone didn't know how old Half-life is. Dx
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby JustAName » 22 Jan 2011, 09:08

Considering his name? Yeahhhhh...
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 22 Jan 2011, 10:16

Fayili wrote:Considering his name? Yeahhhhh...


Yeah, feel like a bit of a twat now.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby JustAName » 22 Jan 2011, 10:26

Because you take things at face value and attempt to sort things out and clarify any confusion? That's not a bad thing.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 22 Jan 2011, 11:31

Fayili wrote:Because you take things at face value and attempt to sort things out and clarify any confusion? That's not a bad thing.


I guess so, because I'm usually happy when someone tells me that something I've said is rather silly/contradicts facts, but I've been called a bitch and know-it-all for doing it too. So, yeah ... Ahem.

I keep doing it though, so it doesn't stop me, I just get worried and think "maybe I took it too far this time?".

I don't know .. God, I'm a bit of a mess right now, sorry.

On a happier note, I'm gonna go and drug myself on coffee now! 8D
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Slack Mesa » 22 Jan 2011, 13:02

The worst game of all time is Mass Effect 2.

That game is such a tease. It claims to let you pursue a romance subplot, but the truth is that the developers never finished writing the code for it.

I walked up to a Hanar in the Citadel and tried out my best lines on... her? him? That's another thing, the character models are so poorly detailed that I couldn't even tell. Yeah, Bioware, you can try to explain it away with your big, fancy words like "polygon count" and "texture budget," but if you're going to put unclothed Hanar in your game, at least make an effort to render the hanartalia correctly. Anyway, I used my best dialogue options on this NPC, and... nothing.

Oh, I know: this must be part of the game's famed dynamic storyline, where the choices I make determine the options available later in the game. So I replayed the game as both male Shepard and female Shepard, and still... nothing. I played as Paragon and Renegade... nothing. I bought all the DLC... you guessed it, still nothing.

I never thought I'd say these words, but: this game is even worse than Half-Life. At least in Half-Life you could unlock that love scene between Gordon and Barney if you hit the final boss 50 times with a crowbar without losing any health.

So shame on you, Bioware. And shame on me for falling for the Mass Effect 2 hype.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 22 Jan 2011, 13:43

Slack Mesa wrote:The worst game of all time is Mass Effect 2.

That game is such a tease. It claims to let you pursue a romance subplot, but the truth is that the developers never finished writing the code for it.

I walked up to a Hanar in the Citadel and tried out my best lines on... her? him? That's another thing, the character models are so poorly detailed that I couldn't even tell. Yeah, Bioware, you can try to explain it away with your big, fancy words like "polygon count" and "texture budget," but if you're going to put unclothed Hanar in your game, at least make an effort to render the hanartalia correctly. Anyway, I used my best dialogue options on this NPC, and... nothing.

Oh, I know: this must be part of the game's famed dynamic storyline, where the choices I make determine the options available later in the game. So I replayed the game as both male Shepard and female Shepard, and still... nothing. I played as Paragon and Renegade... nothing. I bought all the DLC... you guessed it, still nothing.

I never thought I'd say these words, but: this game is even worse than Half-Life. At least in Half-Life you could unlock that love scene between Gordon and Barney if you hit the final boss 50 times with a crowbar without losing any health.

So shame on you, Bioware. And shame on me for falling for the Mass Effect 2 hype.


I'm not gonna fall for it this time! NOT THIS TIME! Dx
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby empath » 22 Jan 2011, 14:59

Good for you on the 'once bitten, twice shy', but (and not just for YOU)

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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Deedles » 22 Jan 2011, 15:12

empath wrote:Good for you on the 'once bitten, twice shy', but (and not just for YOU)

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Once bitten, twice shyyyy!
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye!
Tell me baby, do you recognice me?
Well, it's been a year it doesn't surprise me.

Happy Christmas!
I wrapped it up and sent it!
With a note saying 'I love you', I meant it!
Now a know what a fool I've been,
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again.

Laaaaaaaast christmas I gave you my heart,
But the very next day you gave it away!
Thiiiis year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone SPESHUUUUL!


*coughs* Yeah ...
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Slack Mesa » 22 Jan 2011, 20:30

The worst game of all time is Tetris

In the late 1980s, the United States thought it was winning the Cold War. Despite all the military spending on both sides, the true battles had been economic and cultural. The Western ideals of freedom, opportunity, and individuality had produced four decades of GDP growth since the end of World War II, while the Soviet ideals of central planning and conformity had brought round-the-block lines to buy bread.

The Soviet Union, however, was preparing a secret weapon. This weapon would be aimed not at military targets, but at the American homefront. Its name was Tetris.

The game was aimed at the young and impressionable. It taught players a simple lesson: fit in. Assemble into orderly rows. And then disappear quietly and obediently.

Tetris started on computers and then spread to mobile gaming devices. It became a flagship title on the GameBoy, and casual gamers soon fell under its spell. Players began dreaming about Tetris, even when awake. They felt compelled to accept the shape assigned to them by a central authority - and to fall in line.

The Berlin Wall fell in 1989, and the democracies of the West thought they had won. Little did they realize that they had invited the Trojan Horse of falling blocks into their homes.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Gollom » 22 Jan 2011, 23:39

Slack Mesa wrote:The worst game of all time is Tetris


This one is true. Forget World of Warcraft, Tetris has taken more of my life then anything else. And for that reason, it's the worst game ever. As soon as someone says the word Tetris, I hear the music. That horrible, beautiful music...
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Elomin Sha » 23 Jan 2011, 08:24

Tetris.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Slack Mesa » 23 Jan 2011, 13:59

The worst game of all time is Edgy McEdgerson's Hedge Edger

Edgy McEdgerson's Hedge Edger was created by an indie auteur who felt personally offended by Roger Ebert's announcement that video games could never be art. Unfortunately, the title goes so far in its quest to be art that it forgets to be a game.

In the first of many instances of self-referentialism, the game opens with a cutscene of Edgy lovingly cultivating his bonsai garden. After half an hour of this, his domineering stepmother walks in, smacks the tiny plants across the room, and grunts that Edgy is late for his job trimming hedges. Fair enough, the tiny bonsai trees are a metaphor for artistic indie games, and the hedge edging job represents the assembly-line development of mainstream games. We get it. The game doesn't need to stretch out the cutscene to 73 minutes. The first bonsai tree crashing to the floor in super slow motion was stylized, cinematic, and--dare I say it--artistic. But we didn't need to see the same treatment repeated for every one of the plants.

Then Edgy reports to his job, and we get to experience one of the game's few attempts at interactivity. According to the GameFAQS walkthrough I was following, the player should tap on the screen to start the edger normally or shake the device to kick the edger. Here the developer's pretensions become obvious. This clearly was a title written by people with iPads in coffee shops for people with iPads in coffee shops. I trust that the artistic elite who form the publisher's target audience are delighted with this control scheme, but I was playing the 360 port.

Shaking the console didn't cause Edgy to apply his boot to the hedger, it just red-ringed my console. Six months later, when my repaired 360 arrived in the mail, it was accompanied by a stern letter explaining that I had violated the warranty. Microsoft didn't even try to recover my savegame, so I had to sit through the entire 73-minute opening cutscene again. This time, having learned from my mistakes, I gently tapped the screen to start the edger. The "game" responded by doing... nothing. I tapped a bit harder, and still nothing. I backed up to the far wall of my living room, got a running start, and tapped the screen as hard as I could. Six more months of waiting brought a replacement television and a stern letter from Samsung explaining that their definition of "reasonable wear and tear" was quite stricter than mine. Okay, fine. Edgy feels frustrated and alienated as he strains against the confines of a world that seems designed to marginalize him. And the clever, artistic game director wants to break the fourth wall and make players feel Edgy's pain. We get it. I got it the first time, after I had to pay repair costs and shipping for my Xbox. The TV was just a step too far.

When I posted an account of my experiences on my favorite gaming forum, a dozen pretentious jerks, probably posting from iPads in coffee shops, pointed out that I should press the X button, "as clearly explained in the manual." Manual? I carefully studied the game box and found that it did indeed contain a paper manual explaining the controls, along with a graphic novel explaining Edgy's backstory. Congratulations, latte-sipping videogame auteur, now you can add "multimedia artist" to your business card.

I bitterly pushed forward through Edgy's hedge-edging edgetravaganza. At the end of Edgy's work day, the game allowed me a moment of participation: pressing X made the underachieving hero drive his decrepit but charming car to a coffee shop where he sat down at a booth with the story's love interest, voiced by Winona Ryder. As a single tear rolled down Edgy's face, landing on the table and splashing his iPad in super slow motion, the game popped up a dialog box asking me to choose what Shins song to play.

That was when I turned the game off and switched to Call of Duty 12: Coast Guard Carnage. I may not know art, but I know what I like.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby It's My Delorean » 23 Jan 2011, 14:24

Actually, the worst game of all is The Game you all just lost. As did I by typing it. Oh well, at least I'm taking you all with me. This woulda never happened if that Crapshot hadn't popped up in my recommends.
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby empath » 23 Jan 2011, 14:44

Elomin Sha wrote:Tetris.


Yes; the two biggest games of that year on the PC were Microprose's Pirates! which not only had (satisfying relevant) key phrase copy-protection, but the game WAS ITS OWN BOOT DISK...

...and Spectrum Holobyte's licensing of Tetris that, on the other hand, had NO COPY PROTECTION AT ALL.

Conspiracy theory? Or one last gasp of the KG-used-to-B at 'psy ops' to ruin the productivity of the "degenerate corporate sheep pimps" of the West?
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby grimreaper0 » 23 Jan 2011, 22:16

Slack Mesa wrote:The worst game of all time is Tetris

In the late 1980s, the United States thought it was winning the Cold War. Despite all the military spending on both sides, the true battles had been economic and cultural. The Western ideals of freedom, opportunity, and individuality had produced four decades of GDP growth since the end of World War II, while the Soviet ideals of central planning and conformity had brought round-the-block lines to buy bread.

The Soviet Union, however, was preparing a secret weapon. This weapon would be aimed not at military targets, but at the American homefront. Its name was Tetris.

The game was aimed at the young and impressionable. It taught players a simple lesson: fit in. Assemble into orderly rows. And then disappear quietly and obediently.

Tetris started on computers and then spread to mobile gaming devices. It became a flagship title on the GameBoy, and casual gamers soon fell under its spell. Players began dreaming about Tetris, even when awake. They felt compelled to accept the shape assigned to them by a central authority - and to fall in line.

The Berlin Wall fell in 1989, and the democracies of the West thought they had won. Little did they realize that they had invited the Trojan Horse of falling blocks into their homes.


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falconknight06
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby falconknight06 » 23 Jan 2011, 23:50

Slack Mesa wrote: ..Call of Duty 12: Coast Guard Carnage...


I would play that game. Coast Guard doesn't star in enough games nowadays
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Mowinckel
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Mowinckel » 24 Jan 2011, 00:19

It's My Delorean wrote:Actually, the worst game of all is The Game you all just lost. As did I by typing it. Oh well, at least I'm taking you all with me. This woulda never happened if that Crapshot hadn't popped up in my recommends.




CURSE YOU.
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Vigafre
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Re: Worst game ever? You tell me.

Postby Vigafre » 24 Jan 2011, 08:59

Conversely, ::The Game:: is pretty awesome.

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