My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
- An Evil Herbivore
- Posts: 98
- Joined: 03 Mar 2010, 16:26
- First Video: Worst Day Ever
- Location: Tennessee
My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
(Hold on to your hats, people. This is gonna be a long one.)
This is a discussion on Timidness.
Specifically, social timidness.
More specifically, my social timidness.
Even more specifically, my social timidness in regards to online interaction.
Now, if you were to see me hanging out with my friends, you would never really notice anything particularly odd about me.(Well, you might hear me singing loudly in public, but that's totally normal, right?) The problem comes in when I'm confronted with any number of people whom I'm not very familiar with, I get incredibly quiet and nervous. This happens when I'm with actual real people, or even just surfing the web for forums and chatrooms.
A perfect example of this situation can be found right here in these forums. I've been a member of the forums for over a year, but I've made a scant 6 posts(7 if you include this one), and most of those have been in the past couple of months. It's not that I'm a shy person by nature; Get me talking, and I'll be as outlandish, boisterous, and weird as anybody. It's just that when I'm faced with a number of people I don't know, I clam up.
I'm not even sure why this happens. I mean, by all accounts the Loading Ready Run forums are some of the best, friendliest message boards out there, but even knowing this, I find myself hard pressed to actually submit anything for fear of judgment and ridicule.(Frankly, I'm amazed I managed to post this topic.)
Obviously, the problem isn't helped by the large number of users around here. Including quite a few who have been here a long time and all seem to know each other. I mean, even the introduction thread, ostensibly the place where someone should feel most comfortable beginning their forum journey, is intimidating as all hell with a whopping 166 pages of previous introductions.
Not that I'm criticizing the LRR forums in the slightest here, I've found this same problem on pretty much every major forum I've been to. It's just the example that I've chosen to use to illustrate my point.
This rambling thought process is getting pretty long, so I suppose I should try to wrap it up. I guess I don't really have a point to make here, it's just a thought that struck me while surfing around here at 7:00 in the morning(EST). I suppose it's also my attempt to overcome the whole thing and be a little more active around here.(How else can I show off my avatar of myself proclaiming the evil inherent in cylon toast?) I'd like to hear if anyone agrees or disagrees with my assessment of things, or if anyone has any advice on how to overcome this kind of thing(online and in real life). I'd also kind of like to know if I'm just spouting pure gibberish since I haven't actually been to sleep in over 24 hours at this point.
So that's my attempt to explain (and overcome) a problem I face way too often. Lemme know what you think.
This is a discussion on Timidness.
Specifically, social timidness.
More specifically, my social timidness.
Even more specifically, my social timidness in regards to online interaction.
Now, if you were to see me hanging out with my friends, you would never really notice anything particularly odd about me.(Well, you might hear me singing loudly in public, but that's totally normal, right?) The problem comes in when I'm confronted with any number of people whom I'm not very familiar with, I get incredibly quiet and nervous. This happens when I'm with actual real people, or even just surfing the web for forums and chatrooms.
A perfect example of this situation can be found right here in these forums. I've been a member of the forums for over a year, but I've made a scant 6 posts(7 if you include this one), and most of those have been in the past couple of months. It's not that I'm a shy person by nature; Get me talking, and I'll be as outlandish, boisterous, and weird as anybody. It's just that when I'm faced with a number of people I don't know, I clam up.
I'm not even sure why this happens. I mean, by all accounts the Loading Ready Run forums are some of the best, friendliest message boards out there, but even knowing this, I find myself hard pressed to actually submit anything for fear of judgment and ridicule.(Frankly, I'm amazed I managed to post this topic.)
Obviously, the problem isn't helped by the large number of users around here. Including quite a few who have been here a long time and all seem to know each other. I mean, even the introduction thread, ostensibly the place where someone should feel most comfortable beginning their forum journey, is intimidating as all hell with a whopping 166 pages of previous introductions.
Not that I'm criticizing the LRR forums in the slightest here, I've found this same problem on pretty much every major forum I've been to. It's just the example that I've chosen to use to illustrate my point.
This rambling thought process is getting pretty long, so I suppose I should try to wrap it up. I guess I don't really have a point to make here, it's just a thought that struck me while surfing around here at 7:00 in the morning(EST). I suppose it's also my attempt to overcome the whole thing and be a little more active around here.(How else can I show off my avatar of myself proclaiming the evil inherent in cylon toast?) I'd like to hear if anyone agrees or disagrees with my assessment of things, or if anyone has any advice on how to overcome this kind of thing(online and in real life). I'd also kind of like to know if I'm just spouting pure gibberish since I haven't actually been to sleep in over 24 hours at this point.
So that's my attempt to explain (and overcome) a problem I face way too often. Lemme know what you think.
I have changed my name like 3 times on this forum. Guess who I am!
- Lord Chrusher
- Can't Drink Possible Beers
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Do not worry, you are hardly the only shy person here. I can be quite shy but I am usually better online.
It took me a while to become a regular here. When I joined the LRR forums six years ago I felt like I was breaking into a clique of friends with there own in jokes. I was told off a couple times for posting stupid stuff (well intellectually stupid stuff; this was when The Hitman was around) which made me think more about what I posted. I did not start posting a lot until about eight months after I joined when I had a job which involved a computer with an internet connection and a lack of direct supervision. I procrastinated about my job by going on these forums a lot so I became more of a regular. I think a period of lurking might be better than someone who charges in and makes twenty posts on their first day.
However I think it was easier to join when the forum was smaller (my post in the introduction thread is on page 5). I also had the slight advantage that I knew or knew of a few people, including Graham, in real life who were on the forum.
It took me a while to become a regular here. When I joined the LRR forums six years ago I felt like I was breaking into a clique of friends with there own in jokes. I was told off a couple times for posting stupid stuff (well intellectually stupid stuff; this was when The Hitman was around) which made me think more about what I posted. I did not start posting a lot until about eight months after I joined when I had a job which involved a computer with an internet connection and a lack of direct supervision. I procrastinated about my job by going on these forums a lot so I became more of a regular. I think a period of lurking might be better than someone who charges in and makes twenty posts on their first day.
However I think it was easier to join when the forum was smaller (my post in the introduction thread is on page 5). I also had the slight advantage that I knew or knew of a few people, including Graham, in real life who were on the forum.
We are all made of star dust. However we are also made of nuclear waste.
Remember to think before you post.
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Did someone just steal my thoughts and make a topic about it? Oh wait, they sing loudly in public. Not my exact thoughts, but close enough.
In all seriousness, my advice to you, and any new members to any forum, is just to jump in and see what happens. As long as your first topics and posts aren't blatantly insulting any of the members you'll be fine.
In all seriousness, my advice to you, and any new members to any forum, is just to jump in and see what happens. As long as your first topics and posts aren't blatantly insulting any of the members you'll be fine.
- Elomin Sha
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Cylon Toast, I'd eat that even if it had a health warning on it.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
- James Ether
- Posts: 327
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
I'm pretty much the same. I joined here about a year ago and found it difficult to fit it, mostly due to the fact there's so many people on here and there's so many topics.
Needless to say, I'm up for giving this place another go.
Needless to say, I'm up for giving this place another go.
- theDreamer
- Posts: 5978
- Joined: 20 May 2008, 17:51
- First Video: Quantum Documentary
- Location: 5th Level of Hell
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Just relax. Most of us here are terribly shy and keep on deleting posts.
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Judgement!
Ridicule!
That wasn't so bad, now, was it?
Ridicule!
That wasn't so bad, now, was it?
- empath
- Posts: 13531
- Joined: 28 Nov 2007, 17:20
- First Video: How to Talk Like a Pirate
- Location: back in the arse end of nowhere
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
FM#? Look at it like this - a chunk of those 166 pages of introductions are of people that - for any number of reasons - are not on the forums anymore.
Everyone's timid about this sort of situation; anyone who's not even slightly uneasy about presenting themselves to a big group of total strangers has something mildly WRONG with them! (Even Sir Alec Guinness said that actors as a group are people that haven't fully grown up and are stuck in that 'PRAISE ME!!1!' phase that the rest of us went through)
Anyways, welcome and JOIN IN OUR RAINDEER GAMES. You've got people that are already going to watch your back for you.
Everyone's timid about this sort of situation; anyone who's not even slightly uneasy about presenting themselves to a big group of total strangers has something mildly WRONG with them! (Even Sir Alec Guinness said that actors as a group are people that haven't fully grown up and are stuck in that 'PRAISE ME!!1!' phase that the rest of us went through)
Anyways, welcome and JOIN IN OUR RAINDEER GAMES. You've got people that are already going to watch your back for you.
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
(that scene is weirdly hard to find on GIS...)
- ElementalAlchemist
- Posts: 278
- Joined: 19 Feb 2011, 16:54
- First Video: Rejected WiiPlay Games
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
That's pretty much exactly me. I post occasionally, but I take my time feeling my way around new fora. As in, really take my time. I've been here for a couple months and I'm still not quite there... although you can tell that by the time I've been here this long I'm not going anywhere, just going to keep making my way in. Eventually I'll be posting like the rest of them. But in the meantime, here I am.
-
- Posts: 17
- Joined: 05 Jun 2010, 11:27
- First Video: unskipable lost planet (if that counts)
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
I have to say one thing, Thank You!, I act in exactly the same way as you in this case, both off and online and it really helps to see im not weird as others do it aswell. When it comes to getting over it though I (as you might have guessed by my weird ass post) really am of no use, sorry. But ya again thank you =)
- Theremin
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- Location: Bristol, England
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
As long as I'm addressed as 'Sir', we'll have no problems.
- The Jester
- Posts: 6141
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Don't worry about instant abuse and ridicule here or in real life social interactions with strangers; if a person's first reaction to you (assuming you haven't opened with an insult a la Toadstool a few days ago) is to be hostile and judgemental it's not on you. You would not be at fault. Anything they said could be confidently discounted as worthless BS, because if a person's first reactions to strangers who've done them no wrong is hostility then, quite frankly, their opinions are not worth listening to.
You've mentioned that you're aware we're friendlier than most; just remind yourself of this if you're feeling nervous. We won't bite (well.. most of us. And probably not unless you ask) so don't worry.
You've mentioned that you're aware we're friendlier than most; just remind yourself of this if you're feeling nervous. We won't bite (well.. most of us. And probably not unless you ask) so don't worry.
- thatlaurachick
- Posts: 1605
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- First Video: Unskippable: Devil May Cry
- Location: Seattle, WA
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Theremin wrote:As long as I'm addressed as 'Sir', we'll have no problems.
Yes m'am.
I want a Pinkie launcher.
- Theremin
- Posts: 7603
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- Location: Bristol, England
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
That was the opposite of what I asked for.
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Would you prefer madame?
- An Evil Herbivore
- Posts: 98
- Joined: 03 Mar 2010, 16:26
- First Video: Worst Day Ever
- Location: Tennessee
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Elomin Sha wrote:Cylon Toast, I'd eat that even if it had a health warning on it.
You fool! That's just what the cylons want!
SilPho wrote:Would you prefer madame?
We could always go with mademoiselle.
But seriously, I appreciate everyone here giving their support. It's nice to know that everyone here is as laid back as I'd heard.
I have changed my name like 3 times on this forum. Guess who I am!
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
SilPho wrote:Would you prefer madame?
M'Lady perhaps?
- Theremin
- Posts: 7603
- Joined: 30 Nov 2008, 12:24
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- Location: Bristol, England
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
'M'lady' sounds good.
'Sir', especially when used in the service industry, can feel very sarcastic.
Maybe a 'mademoiselle' if I'm feeling fruity.
'Sir', especially when used in the service industry, can feel very sarcastic.
Maybe a 'mademoiselle' if I'm feeling fruity.
-
- Posts: 272
- Joined: 25 Oct 2010, 14:58
- First Video: The Job
- Location: Colorado Springs
Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
I wouldn't call this a large or bustling forum by any means, though it does feel weird coming in on a group so tight knit that's been around for so long. I only just became a fan at the end of last year, so the only event I've been 'in' on with the rest of the community was Desert Bus 4. Still, it's a nice bunch with repeat posters. I'm too used to browsing message boards where seven people have already stated your opinion the moment the thought formulates in your head.
- TheRocket
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
I find it to be a lose/lose situation. We've had people complain the forum is too big to break into, we've had people ocmplain the forum is too small and closeknit to break into. We've had people complain that there is an influx of new people, we've had people complain that there are too many older members. It jsut seems like there really is no happy medium when it comes to peoples social anxieties. I mean, there is the introduction forum where there is a welcome wagon to greet you, a rules thread so you know generally how things work, and then for the most part people enjoy a good disussion even if opinions don't match. Most are open, accepting and friendly.. I don't know what else we can do as a forum to create a welcome environment. I mean, we can't just get UNclose knit. There are a lot of good friendships that started here, and I think if you stick around you will find lots of people to relate to and share interests with My only advice (because you asked) is keep posting in threads that interest you, and don't be scared off when someone differs in opinions.
That, and don't feed me after midnight.
That, and don't feed me after midnight.
Walk in like DeNiro, and leave like Brando.
You're living proof that Darwin was a moron.
You're living proof that Darwin was a moron.
-
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
I still find all the older (as in, have been here longer) members intimidating.
- Deedles
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
I get nervous around large groups of people that I don't know, and while it's a lot harder to handle offline, online I nearly find it easier to handle if I'm just posting a lot. I guess you could say that I spam my way through the "Will they hate me or not?!? They'll hate me! They'll hate me!" part because once I've realised that people won't hate my guts for simply posting on their forum I'll be cool, for the most part. =]
So, my best advice to you is post, post and post some more!
So, my best advice to you is post, post and post some more!
Hurp-De-Durp!
- Elomin Sha
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
If you're worried just do what I do: ask every six months if forum members find me annoying. It appears to work and boosts the ego a little.
The most unique, nicest, and confusing individual you will get to know. Don't be stupid around me, that's my job.
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If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
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If you need art, I take commissions, PM me.
- Deedles
- Posts: 4043
- Joined: 29 Nov 2010, 13:19
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Re: My Problem With Forums That Get Too Big
Wow! I should totally try that too!
... Wait, I just gave myself away! FUUUUUU-!
... Wait, I just gave myself away! FUUUUUU-!
Hurp-De-Durp!
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