Venting Thread Gamma

[the_lone_bard]

Ahhh, see mine is more like, a constant pain when it's in full force, and I can't seem to move my upper leg more than an inch or two, like my brain is up there like "huh? How do you do that?" Simmilar-ish, but not the same.


Anyway, now for a vent, that should be in the relationship thread, maybe.

So, I get home, and the girl I love is on MSN. And it turns out she had a day that just, well in her own words, she was about ready to punch a glass fridge because she tried to open the wrong side and started yelling at it instead. So I talk to her, make her smile, get her in a better mood and all, and Lo and behold, her boyfriend is infact home, has been the entire time, she had to go because, in her own words "X is in the room... Drunken idiot."

I mean, fucks sake, I love the girl more than anything, and I'd do anything for her, but I can't be with her due to sheer distance, and yet you are with her. And when she's this upset, you're off in another part of hte house what? Jacking off? Getting drunk? Watching TV? You couldn't hug her, talk to her, just be there for her? You fucking asshole, sure she might normally be happy with you, even if you do have normal relationship problems, but if I have to watch her be with you, can you at least pretend to care. For fucks sake! Why is it that I have to be the one who's there to comfort her when she's upset? I'm on the other side of the fucking country, and if I had the money I'd catch a god damned plane to Darwin just for the night to be there with her. And you can't be fucked to do anything even though you're in the same house?

I'm gunna go listen to some music, try and not remember that the girl I love is with an inconsiderate prick.

[2stepz]

I wish my advisor would just answer my questions unstead of taking this "you'll have to wait and see" attitude. It's... frustrating. Extremely frustrating. I do not work well in a foggy haze of doubt. You want me to be efficient? Give me some light, dammit!

[JustAName]

Thanks for the concern, guys. Seems to be fine this morning. And it wasn't on the spine, it was a bit to the right, so it probably wasn't spinal?

[2stepz]

kidney?

[JustAName]

Too high for that, I think.

[TheRocket]

MOLNITOR CALIBRATION Y U FORSAKE ME!?!?!?!

[Dutch guy]

I think I've said this before but: When it comes to medical issues there is only one rule: when in abnormal pain, SEE A DOCTOR!

[JustAName]

If I went to the doctor every time I had a weird pain that wasn't debilitating, I'd never get anything done. It isn't normal to have twinges and aches? 'cuz something hurts every day.

[Wraith]

If I went to the doctor every time I had a weird pain that wasn't debilitating, I'd never get anything done. It isn't normal to have twinges and aches? 'cuz something hurts every day.

This.

[Dutch guy]

If I went to the doctor every time I had a weird pain that wasn't debilitating, I'd never get anything done. It isn't normal to have twinges and aches? 'cuz something hurts every day.

Hence the "abnormal pain" bit

Ahhh, see mine is more like, a constant pain when it's in full force, and I can't seem to move my upper leg more than an inch or two, like my brain is up there like "huh? How do you do that?" Simmilar-ish, but not the same.

This is not what I'd consider normal.

[JustAName]

This is true. Sorry; without quotes, I thought you were responding to me ^^;

[Dutch guy]

It was sortoff also directed at you, but if everything is now ok then it's not really a problem.

[the amativeness]

STUPID ROUTER! WHY WON'T YOU WORK PROPERLY!?

More on this at 11. Because I'm about to go see Spamalot, to take my mind off this conundrum.

[JayBlanc]

Me: "Hey, Blur are reforming, and are going to be doing the Closing of the Olympics with The Specials!"
Other Person: "Who are they?"
Me: "... You've never heard of Blur?"
Other Person: "Who are the Specials? Are they Athletes?"
Me: "..."

[Lord Hosk]

did you explain that in Victoria BC Canada there is a concentration of people with extraordinary powers ranging from the ability to be a awesome cleaning lady, to making bacon appear from thin air, from Super strength and Flight to turning oneself into drywall?

[Fezzul]

Not sure what I'll end up typing, but typing anyway.

I spent last night getting a friend who drank far too much to an ER, and keeping an eye on him. This was the evening. During the day I shouted at a close friend, lost my rag with someone who just trying to be nice to me, got turned down by the latest girl I've been interested and the burst out crying for no reason. It was a weird day, not exactly the greatest.

As it turns out, all the work I'm doing physically and mentally at the moment, in terms of (Sickening luvvie warning) emotional self-discovery through my acting training, is releasing a lot of pent up emotion. A lot of sadness, a lot of loneliness, and a whole heaping ball of anger that seems to go on forever. This is a normal part of the process of developing as an actor, but it's not fun. I want to hit people I love dearly, I want to shout at people who annoy me for being less intelligent or capable than I am and call them weak moronic wastes of space who don't have the right to be within a mile of me. I should do talks at care homes...

I'm glad I'm developing and becoming more available to this stuff, it's good for me as a performer, but I don't want to lose my friends in the process, or do something I'll regret.

I'm also feeling very lonely. It's being intensified by the work I'm doing, but I seem to have, at least partly, regressed back to a teenage state of 'no-one here gets or understands me'. I'm also still single. This shouldn't bother me as much as it does. But it does. I'm really unhappy being single. At least I think I am. I know for a fact that being with someone would not fix my life, but it seems to be taking over my every other thought. This is not helped by the fact that I have a knack for picking the wrong women. Well, no they're exactly the right women, they are marvelous, shining lights for one reason or another. And damn fit. But out of all of them I seem to constantly be able to search out the ones that have boyfriends. I mean, it makes perfect sense. It stands to reason that I would not be the first person to discover that this person is terrific. Why shouldn't some other lucky fool get there first? But the fact that it's understandable does not make it any easier to deal with being rejected, no matter how politely.

And then it's supposed to make me feel better when people around me tell me I'm a terrific guy. Damn fucking straight I am. I'm somewhere between 6'6" and 6'7", I'm moderately handsome and I'm damn smart. (Belated ego warning) I'm a brilliant writer (of poetry and prose and playscript), I'm a masterful guitar player, I can sing, I can act and I can solve other people's problems. I'm always helping out other people when I can, and I'm damn good in a crisis. I'm also funny. Really funny. Superbly witty and clever. (Did I mention my ego?) I have a wonderful speaking voice, a scintillating British accent, and I'm fucking sensitive and understanding. In short, and this is a question I have run by several different panels of judges, I am excellent boyfriend material. And yet, here I am. Leads me to believe I'm doing something wrong.

Oh yeah, and last night. At a bar. My friend had too much to drink. Like really too much. Halfway to alcohol poisoning too much. Starts stumbling around. We get him to the bathroom. He throws up for about half and hour. I'm there the whole time. He's not getting any better fast. He's as tall as I am, and heavier (more muscles than I have). He lives in the South Bronx, we're in midtown Manhattan. No way we can get him to a subway. He's in bad shape. People are starting to worry. I stay calm. I call my friend whose a trained EMT. Find out what we're supposed to do. I do all the vital checks she says to do. She says if we can't get him home, we should take him to a hospital. So I say to call an ambulance. The bar doesn't want us to call an ambulance, because this guy is 19 and the bartender will be arrested if we call an ambulance to the bar to pick up someone under 21. So we need a cab. I'm co-ordinating all this, much to my own surprise, and doing it well. Giving orders as if I've done this my whole life. What's more, people are listening. We're keeping him clean as we can, fluids when he can take them. We get a cab, I get him to the hospital, leaving my guitar with a friend to look after. With some difficulty I get him inside. The taxi driver fucks off as soon as I get him out of the car. I get him inside and checked in, handling the doctors and so on,. They're very helpful. I take care of keeping people informed of how he's doing. I stay with him the whole time, from 11 PM to when they discharged him at 6:30 AM. I get maybe two hours bad sleep. I've been awake since 3AM Friday morning. We walk to the subway. I'm freezing because it's somehow winter again, and he threw up over my jumper, and I don't feel like wearing it until it's been cleaned. I get home, and I sleep through till the evening, missing a seminar I wanted to go to this weekend. He's fine though.

I feel like a bit of martyr. And I also feel like maybe I only did any of it because I wanted attention. I also put myself at legal risk by going to the hospital. I'd had one drink, and I'm also 19, if any paperwork had gone through, or the cops had been called or anything I could have been in trouble. Which could lead to me being deported. As it is, they never got my last name or age, I never signed anything, no cops, and I told them I hadn't been drinking (I was completely sober from 8:30pm onwards). But I risked something, and I'm not sure why? Am I just selfless and good? I find it hard to believe. Do I want attention? Do I think that word will get around and suddenly ladies will swoon over me? I think on some level that I really believe that. I don't know... why am I even posting it here? Is it because I need to get it off my chest, or because I just want you all to tell me how fucking great I am? I've mentioned my ego, yes? I sicken me sometimes.

I suppose I did the right thing at the right time. So That's something And then I was home. And I watched TV. I was feeling down, so I watched 'Easy A', great film. I wrote some bits and pieces. I lamented on how after all the evening's events I'm still on the same bed, with the same thoughts, with the same feeling that there's something missing in my life, that I have tried to plug with every form of achievement and kudo. And I decided I need to watch 'Ferris Buller's Day Off' again. Because life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. So that's what I'm going to do now. Dinner and a movie.

Discuss amongst yourselves and the pass judgement

[Tapir12]

Sometimes people do things simply because it's the right thing to do and someone needs to do it. So maybe you did want to look good in front of your friends at some level, but it sounds to me more like you did what you thought needed to be done.

[Darkobra]

Bullshit did you want attention for it. You did it because it's the right thing to do. You did it because you cared. The reason you were able to do any of that was adrenaline. Fear. Panic. But because of your acting classes, you knew how to hide all that and keep your cool.

If you wanted attention, you'd have left him at the hospital door and walked off and not put your own career at risk. "Passed out drunk! I got a seminar this weekend! Busy man! I'm an actor! Tell him he's an idiot for me! Bye now!" You stayed there for him. Not for your own sake.

You just want to punish yourself because you feel responsible in a way. I've been there. I know. You get older, you learn from those mistakes, you learn to know when other people are heading down the same road and can be there to stop them from doing it! But only if they're willing! God knows I've got a friend who if I cut off her drink supply, she'll just flash some boob and get someone else. You can't help those that can't help themselves after all.

And as for why you're posting this? Well, if you're anything like me, you start at point A. Then you think "But what if B or C happens?" and then you think of C branching to F and G, B brancing to D and E and it becomes a huge tangled vine of thoughts to the point you get confused! You're untangling that vine by posting here! You're slowly reeling out your thoughts and possibilities! Tell me your head's not clearer after posting that.

And now that you HAVE thought things through, you already know the answers! You already know what to do, the problems you have and know how to nip them in the bud! The thread! Has served! Its purpose!

[Drinnik]

Testicle still hurts. Can't go to work today. Was in crippling pain helping clients, walking up stairs, crouching, breathing. Going to the doctors again today and hopefully I'll get some pain relief.

[Drinnik]

So, now I find myself in the A&E, slightly high on morphine, waiting for test results. FUNNEST PAIN EVER.

[Dutch guy]

Woooooooooooo, morfine!

[Vanguard]

If I may borrow a lead-in from the "You Know You're Poor When" thread for but a moment.

*ahem*

"You know you're poor when it looks like you have to foreclose on your home and move somewhere else. I would know. This is a thing that's happening."

Seriously, the month of March can suck all of the dongs that exist, have existed, and ever will exist, because it has done me no favors.

[Elomin Sha]

Well, GAME has been put up for sale. Smeg.

[Darkobra]

Well, GAME has been put up for sale. Smeg.

Suppose it's a good idea to see what cheap and old games they got now. Get them some sort of business going. I got Dragon Age 2 there for £10!

[empath]

So I was in charge of the deli today.

One clerk comes up an hour or two after asking about getting something for a headache (I always have a bottle of no-name ibuprofen in my backpack for my arthritis and told her to go take some). Let's be honest, she's hung over; first thing (after getting in an hour late) is chat with another clerk about the karaoke bar he recommended. She's heavy-lidded, and dragging somewhat (mind you, I'm not much better being up two hours earlier than usual thanks to the time change AND the early shift ) And she'd commented to another co-worker how she got totally blitzed last night.

So by about noon, she walks over and asks if she can go home "since it's so slow".
{inward cringe; she's worked in the deli for months now, and should know better that Sundays ARE ALWAYS SLOW before maybe 12:30pm-1pm once church lets out, then there's a sudden rush of people in clothing too nice to cook in }

"Well, you did get in an hour late-"

"But that was totally not my fault!"
{second inner cringe; DST change is one thing, but none of the other deli clerks showed up late; it's not like the date the changeover had recently been reset or anything, it's been the same date for the past five years, and I KNOW she was present yesterday when ol' AssMgrfromHell yelled out "Daylight savings! Don't forget to put your clocks ahead tonight!" amid some high-spirits about her hubby getting back from a trip one hour earlier because of the time change To claim 'it's not my fault' is really kinda weak and makes you look irresponsible. }

"Well, you know we get a rush of church-goers just after noon; it may be dead right now, but that could change in just a half-hour."

In the end, we agreed to wait and see how things were going; by 1pm, there had been a small surge (it's been pretty slow all weekend), and since it had settled down, I told her it was okay to go home. She said she would do so after she finished helping another clerk with some trays and left at 1:30pm.

Cool.

I had no problem with sending her home early because she WAS feeling poorly; I didn't care if it was a flu bug, or indigestion, or self-inflicted dehydration and poisoning - she wasn't feeling well, and wasn't working at her best. Once I saw that we wouldn't be so busy we'd need even her under-the-weather self to help, I let her go.

...but I'm more concerned about how she made her 'short shift' request; the arguments she used. I would have been more sympathetic to her if she'd simply been honest and focused on her simply not feeling well - what tacks she did try really fell flat and were actually detrimental to her argument.


THIS is why I don't seek promotion to a supervisory position.