What has TV taught you?

[The Mimm]

Just some fun. What has TV taught you?

It taught me:
[*] No matter how grim the news gets, there's always a group of comedians who can show you the funny side.
[*] If a guy wears a leather jacket, has swept back hair and acts like a roguish gentleman, he is clearly a vampire
[*] When we finally get into space, everyone will be incredibly attractive. On that note, Firefly taught me that, to reach serenity, you must have Zoe's loyalty, Wash's tenacity, and Jayne's strength. You must feel like River, be cheerful liek Kaylee, faithful like the Shepherd and smart like Simon. Love like Enara, and don't be afraid to be your own gorram captain.
[*] The inane, formulaic bits of life may not be as amusing, but they will be the bits that get a stable income.
[*] nothing else is quite like a movie.

[auberginequeen]

- You can be able to chase down bad guys and be the pinnacle of badassery without working out.

- All murders can be solved within a matter of days.

- Everyone has sex in the missionary position unless they are a slut.

- Normal people never use the internet except for the sake of looking something up or doing research, preferring to spend most of their free time in bars.

Not that I watch much television.

[dackwards d]

- If you have done or said something that upsets your significant other, do not discuss it with them. In fact, pretend it never happened. After a messy break up and a series of wacky hijinks, important life lessons will be learnt and you will be unconditionally forgiven.

- Sheets naturally sit just above a mans waist and a womans breasts.

- Anyone with an accent is either meant to be sexy or evil. Often both.

[iamafish]

noone ever used the toilet. Ever

[dackwards d]

Heros naturally have a bullet deflection field that forces all projectiles to miss, albeit sometimes barely. This field may weaken during times of dramatic tension, but will still ensure no vital organs are damaged.

[auberginequeen]

Heros naturally have a bullet deflection field that forces all projectiles to miss, albeit sometimes barely. This field may weaken during times of dramatic tension, but will still ensure no vital organs are damaged.

But then... do they have the field because they are a hero, or are they a hero because they have the field?

Hmmm...

[Geoff_B]

- Mouse cursors can be moved by randomly tapping a keyboard
- Robots will inevitably turn against us
- Bowties are cool
- Fezes not so much

[Haberley]

Computers can do ANYTHING in the right hands. These hands are attached to people with no real knowledge of the terminal or copmputers in general, but know what they want to do.

[Metcarfre]

- All people in New York live in large, stylish, rent-controlled apartments.
- Restaurant food is also much, much cheaper in New York as everyone eats out, all the time.
- Everyone goes to Ivy-league schools.
- Don't bring ride-on lawnmowers to the office (Mad Men only).

[The Mimm]

Computers can do ANYTHING in the right hands. These hands are attached to people with no real knowledge of the terminal or copmputers in general, but know what they want to do.

-The programmer always puts in a "back door"
-the password is usually "jeff" (after the programmer, Jeff McJeff, born in nineteen jeffty jeff)

[Drinnik]

-Two people can type on a keyboard.

[Geoff_B]

carrying on with the Eddie Izzard theme introduced by Mimm:

To print a page you press Ctrl-P. Repeatedly. Then wonder why it can't find the printer.

Also a screen full of random hexadecimal characters is instantly recognisable and the program's function can be instantly determined from it.

Not forgetting computers have huge built in countdown timers, you know, just in case.

[dackwards d]

Heros naturally have a bullet deflection field that forces all projectiles to miss, albeit sometimes barely. This field may weaken during times of dramatic tension, but will still ensure no vital organs are damaged.

But then... do they have the field because they are a hero, or are they a hero because they have the field?

Hmmm...

The field is initially generated through valiant acts of derring-do and the general buckling of swashes. Unfortunately as soon as the field dissipates the laws of the universe are restored, which invariably results in the sudden and bloody death of the hero. Not surprisingly subjects finding themselves in this situation tend to attempt to maintain a steady state of heroism in order to delay their inevitable execution, so in a way both options are equally true.

Tragically this costs hundreds of lives a year. I hope that you have found this interesting and informative. Visit the Hero Help Fund to donate or for more information.

[JustAName]

If there seems to be a simple answer, it's probably wrong, unless you expect it to be wrong, in that case it's 50/50. If you arrive at a long, convoluted conclusion that explains everything, but no one working within the normal bounds of logic could have put it together, you're right, because of plot.

[iamafish]

whenever anything crashes into anything, at any time, it explodes. always.

Villains always monologue. always.

Everyone is beautiful, unless they're a nerd, in which case they're comically ugle, unless they're a female nerd, in which case they are beautiful but no-one notices because she wears glasses.

noone is aware of well known folklaw or fantasy, if the thing in question is being rebooted.

[The Mimm]

In direct contrast to Fish, for all the Supernatural fans out there:

There will always be lore on it. Always. And the Winchesters will never thank you for finding it.

[WBAGNR]

When someone hangs up on you, you get a dial tone.

[madrak_the_red]

Policemen are either ignorant buffoons, or crime solving magicians

[Tapir12]

You can tell absolutely everything about a person from just their bones.

[Geoff_B]

Any plan that's cooked up in the last five minutes of a show is absolutely guaranteed to work, unless there's an ongoing story arc, in which case it's guaranteed to fail.

[Haberley]

Equally - if you get to the answer too quickly, no matter your skill level, it will be the wrong one and will only make things worse.

[goat]

Except for the christmas episode, it is ALWAYS summer.

[Jamfalcon]

Nobody under the age of 80 ever needs to take pills, but everyone has several bottles at the ready in case they're feeling suicidal.

Tradespeople live dull, uneventful lives. (I honestly can not think of a single primary character in any show that works in a trade)

If you don't live inside a city you must be a farmer.

[Duckay]

Jamfalcon, I really want to prove you wrong. I, unfortunately, cannot think of anyone, but I will get back to you as soon as I do.

[dackwards d]

If you don't live inside a city you must be a farmer.

Or the staff of a greasy spoon diner, or small town sherriff.