Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Drop by and talk about anything you want. This is where all cheese-related discussions should go

Will bard actually manage to finish this?

Of course, bard is the most awesome and reliable person in the world!
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Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 06 Nov 2011, 10:02

So, recently (Read: about 3 hours ago.) I decided i was going to rebuild my backyard. That sounds strange... Currently there is two small redback infested tin sheds, a path leading to a clothes line that hasn't been used in 10+ years, a gravel square leftover from when there was a car thing there, and a fence from...I don't think anyone actually remembers why it was put there... There are also a lot of trees bordering one fence.

Now my plan is to remove, prettymuch all of that. The gravel is going to be turned into half dirt for grass, and have a new, brick shed built their. Because fuck spiders, and fuck tin for letting them get in. This will be damn well air tight.
I plan to demolish the fence because... Seriously, why is it there!?
The path and clothesline can go away, along with quite alot of the paths, though i will be placing a new stone path up to the back of the yard, for access to -
I'm building multiple Green houses... Sort of. See, the basic principle of Green houses, is that they are there to help you grow stuff and regulate temprature, humidity and sun exposure. I intend to make 3 such rooms, but not exactly glass. They will likely be made out of wood with some other material used to seal it from the outside. Depending on use for them they will probably be designed different, i already know that one will need a glass roof for sunlight, and that shall be the "Hot" one, which will be used to grow things that need alot of heat. I'm also looking at growing spring onions, carrots, garlic, bell peppers, chilli's, peas and snow peas, lettuce and tomato's... so far.
I also intend to replace that fucking sheet metal gate that has 3 seperate locks and still needs wood wedged under it to stop it banging in the slightest wind.

Basically, I'm bored.

So, here's the purpose of this thread. For a start, i intend to do all of this with nothing but the googles and common sense.
And i intend to keep this thead updated on my progress, things i learn in the process, how long it takes me to have a nervous breakdown due to spiders and working in the summer.

For a start, I have a question of anyone else who grows things in an isolated space. Is it possible to dig down a few feet and lay cement flooring, then put dirt back. To ensure that no, there will be no spiders or other bugs here... EVER.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby ecks » 06 Nov 2011, 10:54

I'm not sure half the things on your list would be able to produce anything without bugs to fertilize the flowers. You're probably doomed for no bugs anyways, since there will almost certainly be some living any soil you put in there, but you can probably keep most of the spiders out if it's well built.
I can't claim to have any specific experiences with greenhouses though, so I'll just leave you with a paraphrased/poorly remembered Jurassic Park quote: "Nature uh uh uh finds a way"
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Elomin Sha » 06 Nov 2011, 11:17

The only DIY I know is how to clear all your debts. Buy a shot gun and blow your own head off. Oh and I do know fire will work on spiders, worms, women and unsightly grass.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Master Gunner » 06 Nov 2011, 12:39

I don't see any reason why you couldn't put a concrete base in your greenhouses. It will essentially just turn your flowerbeds into large flowerpots, and you can certainly grow things in pots without a problem (I have a small herb garden in my basement). The only thing that you will have to be careful of is to make sure that the beds have adequate drainage, since the water can't just sink down anymore.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 06 Nov 2011, 14:24

It's gonna be pretty hard keeping all spiders out. Regularly shoveling and turning your soil to keep it aerated is gonna probably help more than a concrete "bucket" as a base.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Evil Jim » 06 Nov 2011, 15:19

Well remember, before you build anything, first you'll have to start punching trees...
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Elomin Sha » 06 Nov 2011, 16:50

Evil Jim wrote:Well remember, before you build anything, first you'll have to start punching trees...


Man Gardening! HAAAAAAAAAH!
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby the amativeness » 06 Nov 2011, 17:19

Elomin Sha wrote:
Evil Jim wrote:Well remember, before you build anything, first you'll have to start punching trees...


Man Gardening! HAAAAAAAAAH!


Why hasn't someone spoofed this with Minecraft yet?
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 06 Nov 2011, 19:09

Well now.

Eckz: I was intending to just make it air tight and use any artificial stuff that it's missing. Obviously i am going to have a way for air to get in, but that is just a giant filter to keep bugs out. And to be honest, i never realised you needed bugs for the dirt..

And to everyone else: What else should i try growing?
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 07 Nov 2011, 01:35

So instead of going out there and taking measurements etc... I spent most of today emptying the pantry, cleaning everything i'm keeping...
It used to be full. After emptying out all the out dated stuff, it's now empty enough that i COULD fit everything on one of the 5 shelves...

Also, Vanilla essence... Expiration date: 15/9/89.
It's official. My grandmother has cooking stuff older than i am.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Stinkychops » 07 Nov 2011, 04:08

Of my DIY projects, the ones I always finish are the things which inconvenience me if I don't.

Sprinklers fucked up, wood blocking shit, can't drive the car etc etc

What I'm saying is, if your backyard looks like a minefield, you'll git er dun.
I'm kind of a big deal.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 07 Nov 2011, 04:43

So, I've decided that, since the D.I.Y stuff will take quite awhile for me to be able to do (Co-Op housing bullshit -_- ) I will in the meantime, keep this thread updated with cooking. As i'm about to start cooking food for all four of us 6 nights of the week, i will share the process and recipe's as i do them. Because hey, why not.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby Master Gunner » 07 Nov 2011, 05:30

You don't actually need bugs for the dirt. While they certainly are an important part of the ecosystem and bring nutrients into the soil, you can also handle that yourself. Fertilizer, compost, and turning the soil over occasionally should keep your plants in good shape.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby Metcarfre » 07 Nov 2011, 07:15

You should definitely start an herb garden. You can start them in pots now (it's spring down under, right?) and transfer them to the beds later. I'd suggest thyme, oregano, sage, rosemary (lots!), chives, dill, mint (just keep it in its own pot or it will take over), and if you can manage it, basil. Plus whatever else you like.

Note how this segues nicely into cooking.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 07 Nov 2011, 07:21

Thanks meta and master (Meta-Master?)
And i strongly doubt now is the time to start it meta, it's summer soon, and where i live (About an hour and a bit out of melbourne) this house and yard tends to be kept at about a permanant temprature of 40+ degree's.

Hell, tommorow i am going to go and buy a large black tarp to cut up and tape over my bedroom windows since they face the sun for 90% of the day.

Speaking of melbourne weather, it's still warm outside, no wind at all, no rain, not particularly dry, what i like to call "No weather" because it's everything is just normal or not there... Except for the gigantic crashes of thunder every couple of minutes that started half an hour ago -_-

And now starts the rain...
And as this was posting... At 2:54 am, pitch black night, my entire room just got brighter than it was at 3pm today... I hate lightning when i'm alone.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 07 Nov 2011, 23:26

ALRIGHTY! Welcome to

Bards How To Lemon Chicken And flied Lice!

Grab your ipod or mp3 player of choice and put on some of your favourite tunes. Singing along is optional, whichever you prefer. But for someone as quick to anger at my own stuff ups as i am, the music helps to balance it out and keep me happy.

First off. Get yourself some of them there chicken breasts, now slice them into really small pieces, for 4 people i used 1kg of chicken breast.
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Got them sliced nice and small? Right, now then, grab yourself a container, prefrably large, but if like me you only have old chinese take out containers (Ironic, right?) Divide them up so that no container is none too full. Now first put salt on them to taste, but not too much! Then mix em up, i used a single chopstick here as i have no idea where the other one is. Now we get some flour, again enough to coat the chicken but not to smother it. Then seal them containers and SHAKE IT BABY, SHAKE IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
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Now set that chicken aside, but there are two ways to this. If you want your chicken nice and crispy, no more than 5 minutes. If you want it to just cook but not go crispy, as long as you wish.
Now to get yourself some lemon chicken sauce! First up grab everything in this picture.
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Here's how it goes: Grab a bowl and add in 1/2 cup of chicken stock, 1 tbspn soy sauce. 2 teaspoons of red vinegar, 1 tbspn of suggar, 3 teaspoons of corn starch(Corn flour here in aus.) and of course, lemons. Lemon to taste really, for this much i would use about 2 lemons, but i like it lemony so instead i used 3. Now stir that baby, stir it like you mean it! Then set it aside.

By now you should start deep frying that chicken of yours until it is golden. While that's frying start making your rice.

Now when your chicken is nice and fryed you want to make it into LE'MON CHIKKINS!
Start by draining your chicken of oil and putting it aside on a plate, then in a new pan or the one that you just emptyed, add in a little oil, about 1-2 teaspoons (I prefer peanut oil for this.) Then get some of that delicious lemon flesh from them squeezed lemons and throw that into the pan and start frying that up on high for a little while. Meanwhile, grab your sauce and re-stir it. Then after that lemon flesh has absorbed some of the oil and started frying up, dump in that sauce. (BE DAMNED CAREFUL HERE! Depending on what you made the sauce in, fair chance it's gunna be a pain and spill everywhere.)
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Stir your sauce for a short while until it starts thickening, if it is having trouble thickening here's how you make liquid corn starch. Get a little bit of water and corn starch and mix them together in some small container, then just add to your sauce. (Don't use to much, you want it to be a sauce not as thick as honey.)
Now that you've done that, add in your chicken again, and stir for awhiile until the sauce has thickened to an ooze like thickness, making sure all of the chicken is coated.
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Now when it's all oozey, coated and hot, plate up and top it with a slice of lemon. Enjoy!Image
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 07 Nov 2011, 23:35

Right, now onto that flied lice that some people find difficult.
Note: ALWAYS WASH YOUR RICE FIRST! Use whatever you can to wash it thoroughly, get all that starch off of it until the water you're using runs clear again.
Cook yourself some rice in a rice cooker, steamer whatever you use, then prefrably let it sit for a day. If not going to let it sit due to time or other factors, stick it in the cold fridge for as long as you can, and make sure you mix it all up occasionally, the reason for this is to prevent the rice sticking to itself in clumps.
Now that we've got our cooked rice we want to slice up the things we're going to add. Tonight i used Green onions (Spring onions here in aus.) Sweet corn that i sliced off of the cob, and snow peas. (You can also use green and red bell peppers 'capsicum' if you're in aus. chilli if you like, bean shoots etc.)
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Grab your rice and add some garlic powder to it to taste, if you like garlic add a lot, if not it's not the most important thing in the world, but still add some, it gives it a nice smell while cooking and that smell cooks into everything. And remember, MIX UP DAT RICE!
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Now get your pan or wok, put in a little peanut oil and let it heat briefly on high. Now crack in two eggs and scramble them eggs quick like!
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Now add in your onions corn peas, whatever you've chosen to loose and cook them briefly, by now the eggs should have soaked up most of the oil but don't worry! Now we dump in all that rice! and start your stiring! mix that all up really nice. Now that your rice is mixed nicely, add in soy sauce and seasoning sauce to taste, then keep on mixing until it's nice and cooked! Take off heat and keep stiring to avoid it burning on the bottom.
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Enjoy your tasty and easy Flied Lice!

I hope you guys enjoyed, all feedback is welcome, return tommoro for Sweet N Sour Pork Balls.

Also, if someone who understands the whole nutritional fattening stuff and wants to PM me how fattening my dishes are after posting so i can put down a rough estimate of whether or not one serving of something is going to make you suddenly gain 50kg it would be great :D
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby Metcarfre » 08 Nov 2011, 07:27

I guess it depends exactly how 'deep fried' that chicken is. I mean, like, did you fully submerge it in hot oil? Or just cook it in a bit of oil in a pan? Especially, if I'm reading this correctly, if you added all the oil to the sauce.

Did you add some lemon zest to the sauce? That could really punch it up even more if you want.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the_lone_bard » 08 Nov 2011, 07:34

They were fully submerged, but you remove them from the oil with one of them circular things with wholes in them (I have no idea what they're called.)
The sauce only gets a tiny bit of oil put into it.
And i know that lemon zest can be good, but the thing that i use for crushing lemons (stops seeds winding up in it, and is thorough.) but it ruins any chance of using the zest.
Over-all apart from the deep frying process there is barely any oil used.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby Metcarfre » 08 Nov 2011, 07:38

OK, you can zest the lemon ahead of time if you want.

You may consider just stir-frying or baking the chicken instead, that would cut out a lot of fat.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby the amativeness » 08 Nov 2011, 16:27

Fail. If you're gonna call it "Flied Lice", then call it "Remon Chicken"
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Re: Bards D.I.Y thread.

Postby Drdiggit42 » 09 Nov 2011, 05:06

the_lone_bard wrote:And to everyone else: What else should i try growing?


Not sure how your doing with the green houses but I thoroughly enjoyed growing zucchini when i had a garden. the trick is they need a lot of room. I would use the water-fat ones for zucchini bread and the lean ones for a vegetable with dinner. also I had an outdoor garden and i planted basil around my tomatoes and it kept the bugs off them pretty well. It didn't stop the rabbits from eating the basil though.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby Dutch guy » 09 Nov 2011, 09:36

My own recipe for lemon chicken is a bit different. (And I serve it with potatoes boiled in the skin, and ginger green beans)

First make a marinade by mixing the juice of one lemon with a tad of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of honey, some thyme (preferably fresh) and one or two parts of garlic. Then add salt and pepper to taste. Let the chicken soak in that in a covered bowl in the refrigirator for as long as you want (but 15 minutes minimum) Cut a scrubbed lemon into small parts and place the marinated chicken with the lemon parts in a preheated oven at about 180 degrees C for about half an hour (or until done depending on how well your oven works)

I usually use chicken breast fillet for this, but legs also work nicely.

The ginger grean beans are rather simple. Boil the green beans for about 5 minutes (After cleaning) cut a red pepper into small bits. Press some garlic (or a lot, to taste) and grate about 2 cms of ginger root into the pan and add the pepper. add a bit of oil and stirfry this for about a minute. Then add the green beans and stirfry for another 2 minutes.
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Re: Bards D.I.Y and Cooking thread.

Postby Metcarfre » 09 Nov 2011, 15:59

I have two lemon chicken recipes. The first, and easiest, is to place some chicken breasts that have been seasoned (salt and pepper) in a hot frying pan with a little olive oil. Zest a lemon, then squeeze half the juice (or more) over the chicken. Top with the zest and herbs (sage, rosemary, and thyme are good bets). Sear for two minutes, turn, and repeat treatment. Then put in a 350 F oven for 15 minutes (you did use a pan that can be used in the oven, right?). Remove, let rest, serve.

Otherwise, a more family-sized meal is a whole whack of thighs, bone in, tossed with oil, salt, and pepper, and layed out in a baking dish. Dump lots of fresh herbs on, lots of zest, fresh lemon juice, and slice one lemon and put a slice on each breast. Roast at 350 F for, I don't know, an hour? Yeah.
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