The U.S. for you canadians...

[madhousezack]

Now we all know that Americans like me are a race of silver-tongued devils who promise wealth and fortune to other folk in exchange for their soul, first-born son, or petroleum reserves. This we do not deny, as it is how we have lived since we were first born of the demon prince Leviathan and some chick from Jersey. What i'm saying is, this is a thread for non-Americans to ask questions, get answers, and give me your money.

[Evil Jim]

I have a feeling most Canadians (well ok, at least those that are in LRR) know more about US history than a lot of Americans. They definitely know more about the US than I do of Canada.

[Elomin Sha]

Here's a question from your former masters: do you regret leaving the Empire because of your egos?

[Graham]

Evil Jim is right, we get taught US history in school as well as our own.
Also, we get all of your TV so we kinda know the culture pretty well.

Any questions for us, perhaps?

[Psyclone]

Is it true that you're breeding an army of super-moose to take over the US?

If so, please spare Seattle in the upcoming carnage.

[Myrph]

Are you getting ready for the imminent bearpocalypse, now that our furry friends have learnt to ride on public transport?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-16171850

[dackwards d]

The best thing about that video is that they clearly used a vulcan nerve pinch on the bear.

[Lyinginbedmon]

How important is the Bible belt to your governmental politics?

[the_lone_bard]

I've got a question for the US.

How is it that nobody in your country seems to realise that your president is a meaningless figurehead with absolutely no power at all?

[Elomin Sha]

How important is the Bible belt to your governmental politics?

More than you know, look up Blue Laws.

[Geoff_B]

If it ever became necessary would you be able to defend your border with the US as your national anthem declares?

[Lord Chrusher]

Remember that the United States was founded by political radicals, protestant non conformists and people who did not want to pay taxes.

[Geoff_B]

Hmm who was Australia founded by again?

[Ahlir]

The Irish.. Though they had little say in it.

[Lord Chrusher]

Convicts.

I am Canadian, remember. Canada was founded to keep Europe supplied with beaver.

[Geoff_B]

I am Canadian, remember. Canada was founded to keep Europe supplied with beaver.

Well now I know you're lying - Canada was founded to keep the world supplied with LRR!

[Lord Chrusher]

The Irish.. Though they had little say in it.

Most people transported where English. Almost all convicts where sent to Australia for theft and related crimes.

[Elomin Sha]

Remember that the United States was founded by political radicals, protestant non conformists and people who did not want to pay taxes.

We call those in the UK, Students.

[Lord Hosk]

So much of Canadian history is them looking south at US and saying "oh you screwed up there didn't yah, We are gonna learn from that"

We had SNL, Canada said "oh hey, we have kids, we have halls, we win!"

We had Nickelodeon Canada said "Well you cant do that on television eh, Mr Wizard wouldn't like it!"

Im gonna call it a draw with Mr Rogers and Mr Dress up.

We have a super over bloated military industrial complex and Canada says "hey you know those 500 jets, could you make us 40 too?"

We have a intolerant society which constantly belittles minority groups, Canada said:
"come on over irish you need a hug?
Send them blacks north we will give them hugs!
Hey man you wanna marry a dude? well I think thats yucky but clearly you don't so here have a license go and be miserable together."

We said "hey lets establish the greatest health care system with the best doctors then make it unavailable to the majority of people" Canada said "hey that doesnt seem right" Now on this one I think most Canadians would agree that they didnt get it quite right but atleast they gave it a good shot unlike our new health care plan of "hey go buy it, its good!"

Plus as anyone who has lived in a northern state that could pick up the CBC can tell you Curling is AWESOME! no one knows why but its Saturday night and you end up cheering on Paul Flemming.

[plummeting_sloth]

How important is the Bible belt to your governmental politics?

It's vitally important for keeping American's pants (ie, the South) from falling down. The last time the delicious opiate failed to calm nerves down there, there was a war or something.

[plummeting_sloth]

I've got a question for the US.

How is it that nobody in your country seems to realise that your president is a meaningless figurehead with absolutely no power at all?

I'm not sure... the last foreigner who asked that question was killed by a unilaterally authorized drone strike and we never got an answer.

[nonjabiru]

I've got a question for the US.

How is it that nobody in your country seems to realise that your president is a meaningless figurehead with absolutely no power at all?

The writers on SNL seem to have it figured out. I can only find a clip on Hulu (Link) so it might not be available worldwide.

Quick version if you can't watch it boils down to this.

1 Congress
2 Grover Norquist
3 Oprah
4 NHL
5 Mark Zuckerburg
6 Supreme Court
7 George Soros and Koch Brothers
8 Tyler Perry
9 Pixar
10 Verizon Customer Service
11 The President
12 Pippa Middleton
13 KIA Gerbils

[Mowinckel]

Why are you on the wrong side of the ocean?

[Metcarfre]

Why do you insist on calling toques beanies? When beanies are clearly those hats with propellers on them.

[gcninja]

because toques is a general term while beanie is just a beanie