The thread of hope.

Drop by and talk about anything you want. This is where all cheese-related discussions should go
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Reila.Oda
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Reila.Oda » 31 Dec 2014, 10:42

(Accidental double post!)
Last edited by Reila.Oda on 31 Dec 2014, 10:43, edited 1 time in total.
I’ve come here from nowhere
Across the unforgiving sea
Drifting further and further
It’s all becoming clear to me
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Reila.Oda
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Reila.Oda » 31 Dec 2014, 10:42

Thought I'd share my personal hope story. I've been a lurker in LRR for quite a while and enjoyed the videos I had never engaged with the community. I'd had my dark moments in my own life and when my Honey is not around It gets challenging. During one of the particularly nasty phases I had nearly drowned myself. It was right after one such episode I stumbled into my room. I heard Alex from IDDQderp pumping through my speakers, which was strange. I didn't recall starting the video but IDDQderp S.T.A.L.K.E.R COP Episode four was playing. I don't recall exactly what he said but in my semi catatonic state I heard something and I burst out laughing. It was like a bolt of thunder, it somehow put my depression on the ropes. I managed a smile and kept watching.
It took me about four hours of solid IDDQderp before my phone went off. It was my love she kept freaking out and for several seconds I couldn't figure out why. "Are you OK!? Where the hell have you been? I thought you would be home by now and I've been calling you." I remember staring in disbelief, before managing an answer. I realized it was almost eight at night and IDDQderp had managed to keep my brain from spiraling into that dark place again.
I was freezing and I realized I hadn't even gotten dressed after my drowning attempt and the moment IDDQderp finished I felt that crushing wave hit me again. It was during my re-watch of FNAF in the lets nope that I finally broke free. I managed to call my love and fall asleep.

I wanted to share that moment. I've had a few more since then and it has been amazing. I cannot express my gratitude to the community for being here for me since I've rejoined. I owe quite a lot to you guys. It's been incredible.
I’ve come here from nowhere
Across the unforgiving sea
Drifting further and further
It’s all becoming clear to me
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AdmiralMemo
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 31 Dec 2014, 14:28

*hugs Reila* This community is awesome and we're glad you're becoming a part of it. :)
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Ravynn » 31 Dec 2014, 16:34

*Huge hugs for Reila!

Anytime you want to talk, we're always here, in chat, online...everywhere. The community is always here for you.
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Reila.Oda
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Reila.Oda » 31 Dec 2014, 22:24

It's amazing to have a storm shelter in complete strangers and despite the strangeness of the people I'm comfortable with it. It's a great feeling and I hope one day I can shield someone the same way I was.
Hugs for everybody thank you guys so much.
I’ve come here from nowhere
Across the unforgiving sea
Drifting further and further
It’s all becoming clear to me
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Danielle Pepin
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Danielle Pepin » 02 Jan 2015, 11:39

Reila, I'm glad that unforgiving sea in your tagline has not drowned you before you found us. <3 *hugs*
Many of us spend more time on the Desert Bus IRC chat than on forums too. You never know when you may help shield someone. I did talk another chat member down from a bad episode once and have received help in other ways since my first chats.

Check your PM inbox for some of what Alex and some other people have shared with me.
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Danielle Pepin » 02 Jan 2015, 11:45

PS I've been watching old eps of Rainbow Brite from my childhood. I think colours are very much like serotonin...especially those from sunlight which help vitamin D to get to the brain. I think that show had more underlying science than I first realized...aside from kids and creatures appearing at random rather fantastically.
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Danielle Pepin » 02 Jan 2015, 12:30

Just now on Alex's twitter I stumbled on this:
https://www.tumblr.com/search/online+counseling#_=_
Perhaps good for people seeking higher skill levels of helps without leaving the house.
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Danielle Pepin » 02 Jan 2015, 12:37

...OK This one is just really cool:

http://voxlunch.tumblr.com/post/106591937183

:D
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Amake
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Amake » 04 Jan 2015, 08:35

Did we just watch a wizard do magic?
"I know I tend to sound like I think what I say is written in stone, but please ignore that. I assure you I'm well aware that I have no idea what I'm talking about." -Amake, 2015
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 04 Jan 2015, 21:13

This is one of those things where you can be like me and pretty much know how everything in the thing works... and still be blown away and amazed by it. I've seen and worked with the tech behind similar things, and it's still pretty amazing.

Also, I want someone to play the Dr. Who theme on one of these. :D
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Deedles » 24 Jan 2015, 05:45

Hurp-De-Durp!
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Elomin Sha » 24 Jan 2015, 12:20

There's another one I'd add to the list John Rabe. He was a Nazi Party member who was present at the 'Rape of Nanking'. He set up the Nanking Safety Zone to shelter 200,000 Chinese. He tred to petition Hitler to speak to the Japanese to get the massacre stopped. He was detained by the Gestapo.
After the war he was 'de-nazified' but lived in poverty. In 1948, the citizens of Nanking learned of his situation in occupied Germany and raised money for him.
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Lord Hosk
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Lord Hosk » 27 Jan 2015, 07:30

This may not feel like something that belongs in the thread of hope but for me it fits here perfectly.

Bowe Bergdahl is to be tried for desertion, when convicted he faces up to 5 years imprisonment in addition to reduction to the lowest rank, forfeiture of all pay and allowances to the day he abandoned his post and a dishonorable discharge.

The death penalty is also on the table because he abandoned his post during a time of war but I find that highly unlikely.

He is directly responsible for the death and maiming of dozens of men and women who he swore to defend.

I was on the early search and rescue teams, I was on the subsequent recapture teams, I have friends who lost limbs, suffered permanent bodily disability and were severely mentally injured on those teams, I have friends who lost their lives.

My biggest struggles are because of things that happened in the days following his desertion. Now I have faith in the military justice system that he will face the consequences of his actions.
Beware Bering Crystal Bears, Bearing Crystals. (Especially if the crystals they are bearing are, themselves, Bering Crystal Bears.) -Old, Stupid Proverb

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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby AdmiralMemo » 27 Jan 2015, 08:11

Yeah, not quite hope in the general sense, other than hope in the justice system to do its job, but you'll certainly have more peace and a sense of finality once he faces what he's due. Glad to hear that this chapter is coming to a close for you, as you deserve the feeling of completion once he's tried and sentenced. *hugs Hosk* :)
Graham wrote:The point is: Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I'm an old man.
LRRcast wrote:Paul: That does not answer that question at all.
James: Who cares about that question? That's a good answer.

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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Elomin Sha » 27 Jan 2015, 09:20

Good to know that things are coming together Hosk.
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby empath » 14 Jul 2015, 10:39

dysfunctionalunit.tumblr.com wrote:Live your life so Professor McGonagall would be both proud and exasperated by you
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby empath » 20 Jul 2015, 18:00

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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Amake » 05 Sep 2015, 09:54

I just heard this painfully inspirational song, and now you must hear it too.

It's in Swedish, but I translated the lyrics, here:

You who know a wall is just a bridge standing on edge
And know the way it is doesn't have to be forever

You who hear a cry for help when no one else does
Do what you do but never get anything back
If you don't there's no one else to do it

You who go where you go with no one else to direct you
You who get your marks without becoming martyrs
You who dream but don't close your eyes to the world

You who laugh your way into the absurdly serious
You who make people think you shouldn't be allowed out
You who do wrong and never are perfect
Play no games and screw proprietary
You who dare to be crooked and broken

You're not the most beautiful in the world
The world is most beautiful in you
And it's not in your eyes
But in what you see

O, how you succeed in inspiring
Make me want to be stronger
Without me feeling worse, or needing to accomplish
O, how you manage to exalt
Give me strength to want more
It comes through your voices
It shines through when I see you

So you are the most beautiful in the world
The world is most beautiful in you
And I see it in your eyes
Where I see what you see


And I think, have I really tried to be the kind of person this song is about? What can I do more?

Worth thinking about I think.

But I wanted to share it with you, because this community is easily more than half who the song is about, and you should have a nice song about you.
"I know I tend to sound like I think what I say is written in stone, but please ignore that. I assure you I'm well aware that I have no idea what I'm talking about." -Amake, 2015
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Lord Hosk
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Lord Hosk » 24 Sep 2015, 12:18

I went to the store today, in the middle of the day. I got all 6 items that we needed without a written list, and I didn't have a panic attack.

This may not seem like much to some people but to me this was a really big win.
Beware Bering Crystal Bears, Bearing Crystals. (Especially if the crystals they are bearing are, themselves, Bering Crystal Bears.) -Old, Stupid Proverb

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You hear that Khoo? We're almost better than the comic!
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby JustAName » 24 Sep 2015, 14:26

That's so awesome Hosk! I'm really glad to hear it.
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Merrymaker_Mortalis » 25 Sep 2015, 02:58

I had a chance to properly think about my upcoming baptism. It was a nice interal vortex of warm fuzz feelings. That was nice. I don't much chance to do that in between job seeking, art business, helping at home, organising logistics about my baptism, learning spannish, reading the bible, playing the violin and escaping into the internets because I feel lonely 5/7 days of the week.
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby fantôme » 26 Sep 2015, 02:56

For a while I'd been working too hard, sleeping too much and barely eating anything at all. My body and mind began to slow down considerably. So I redeemed a bunch of the good will I've built up and I took a "fuck it" day off work, and made a conscious effort to get back into better routines.

It's working, I'm spending more time making delicious things in my kitchen - and I'm back above 9 stone again. I've slowed down at work - gotten some colleagues trained up on what I do - and have even been enjoying myself enough to begin flirting with a woman that I met as a result of my work rearrangements. And sleep is the enemy, I'm getting back to no more than a few hours a night - and now have so much more time. Things are looking up.
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Reila.Oda
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby Reila.Oda » 09 Nov 2015, 23:41

It's been far to long since I posted here... My story is a long one and to some of you pretty far fetched. However... It's my life... A giant sea of crashing feelings and gut wrenching feelings. It was during an IDDQderp in which Alex talked about false pushes of 'hey you got it' and it really sunk home. So here is the timeline version of why I haven't been active, and have been in such bad shape. And please, do not tell me DB will help, that's the same vein as what Alex was talking about in my book. SO here is the timeline.

About six months ago I move from Tuscon Arizona to a girl I thought I loved house in Cedar Falls Iowa. We were together two months afterwards, and soon the relationship became rocky. We were in the same bed month three, and that was when... Shit started.. I'll spare graphic details but there was non-consensual sexual touching. About three months afterwards one of the members of chat Anaerin managed to convince me she was abusing me. She was... emotionally physically, and sexually. So I moved out with my friend Amanda into a friends house... Not about a month later, I made a comment to Amanda honestly detailing a collapsing relationship and my housemate found out. She was furious that I would rat her out like that and kicked me to the curb. Thanks to Dan9299 I was able to crash at his fathers place. This all happened in less than a year. So here I am back with the girl that's always been at my side, desperate to sort my life out and struggling to find community. I desperately want people and at the same time can't freaking stand them.

I have no job, a barely intact friends circle, and a relationship that's doing all right. I have no money, only thing I have going for me is a very understanding roomate willing to let me get my psyche in order before demanding anything... Which is a huge benifit, but... If Only I'd listened to my parents... and a lot of you Runners. This was a massive mistake, and one I had to make, I just wish it hadn't left me with so many scars....

I scream myself to sleep into my pillow, sob myself awake, and wake for no reason at stupid thirty in the morning because I thought about a certain someone. I'm sleep deprived, and sick of this crushing feeling... Walls feel like steel cages, and not the fun kind either. So I know the tone here is lighthearted but that's... how I'm coping...

I owe thanks to people of LRR for keeping my spirits up during all this.. Without your streams to talk me to sleep, or keep background noise when I'm freaking out. I wouldn't be here.. I made a dive for a knife and it was Alex's laughter that shook me free. I realized I am not OK. I'm really not... I need help. No matter how much I fight for my stream, I can't muster the courage to try, n omatter how proud I am of myself as a person, I always feel like I'm wrong. I can't bring myself to go running to people and scream for help because I don't feel I'm worth it... I had a thought earlier that scared me and sent chills to my core.. if I died I'd be missed... Right?

No I will not do anything I'm just... REally not in a good spot right now.... NO need to call authorities.. I'm just in a funk that's all...
I’ve come here from nowhere
Across the unforgiving sea
Drifting further and further
It’s all becoming clear to me
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empath
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Re: The thread of hope.

Postby empath » 15 Feb 2016, 19:14

Boy has cancer; family moves across Canada to get closer to children's hospital that provides chemotherapy.

Boy's cancer resists chemo; family starts crowdfunding campaign to afford a experimental treatment (CAR T-cell therapy).

Lead actor of film about a Canadian with resistant cancer who undergoes experimental treatment learns of boy and his experiences.

Actor gets advance copy of film, six weeks before its release, and brings it to hospital for he and boy to watch.
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