Britishness Quotient Test.

[Gap Filler]

This isn't a meme in the strictest sense but if anyone wants to try it, feel free. Explain the appeal and/or the cultural significance of the following in less than ten words or the written equivalent of one minute.

1. Marmite
2. Allotments
3. Carry On Films
4. Oxbridge
5. Roland the Rat
6. Home DIY
7. Cricket
8. Saucy Postcards
9. Mortgages as a Casual Conversation Topic
10. Pantomine
11. HP Sauce
12. Morris Dancing

It should be noted that this is old. It did the rounds in my circle briefly when I came up with it while in still in school nearly ten years ago, then again when I put it on my blog a couple of years later. New Year's Day boredom is a wonderful thing because it leads to me digging through my old stuff and unearthing shit like this.

[The Jester]

Hey, no knocking Panto. It's fucking awesome.

[theDreamer]

You'll see he also puts HP sauce on that list, and that shit is delicious.

[Metcarfre]

Man, my boss would not shut up about pantomime over the holidays.

[Elomin Sha]

You forgot two corner stones of the British Culture. Queuing and moaning.
He love to queue and we love to moan about something. Usually we combine the two to moan about the queue we're in.

[Drdiggit42]

I'm not British(it would be awesome if I was), but i can honestly say HP sauce is the best brown sauce. EVER.

[Gap Filler]

Its cute in its own way that people automatically assume this is intended to be negative by default.

[KyrieEleison]

The one time I had HP sauce I found it kind of bland, but that's because I grew up with its brash, bold American cousin A1 sauce - stuff that makes my eyes water a bit if I put too much on my steak. However, my sister loves it.

Just a glance at the list shows I'm evidently not very British at all (no surprise, seeing as I'm Californian), because I can only identify a handful...

[gcninja]

The one time I had HP sauce I found it kind of bland, but that's because I grew up with its brash, bold American cousin A1 sauce - stuff that makes my eyes water a bit if I put too much on my steak. However, my sister loves it.

Just a glance at the list shows I'm evidently not very British at all (no surprise, seeing as I'm Californian), because I can only identify a handful...

BLASPHEMY! I could drink that stuff, sweet jesus its good

[Geoff_B]

Okay, I'll have a go:

1. Yeast extract. You either love it or hate it.
2. Plots of land for growing vegetables and swapping gossip
3. Gave Kenneth Williams the opportunity to say "Ohhhh Matron".
4. Portmanteau of Oxford and Cambridge. Makes one sound posh.
5. Saturday morning puppet presenter who hasn't been seen since 1980's.
6. Chance for men to totally botch things up
7. Invented by British, understood by no-one, we always lose.
8. 1970's equivalent of dirty magazines. Currently banned I believe.
9. British people are never happy unless complaining about house prices.
10. Two-bit celebrities seek publicity by dressing up in silly costumes
11. Best. Sauce. Ever. Named for Houses of Parliament.
12. No-one knows why. It just is.

[LogicSword]

9. British people are never happy unless complaining.

FTFY

[theDreamer]

Don't get me wrong, A1 is great, but when I want to actually taste my steak but with a little flavour?

On goes the HP.

[Metcarfre]

HP is strictly a breakfast sauce, IMO.

[Geoff_B]

HP is an everything sauce. I would gladly put HP sauce on everything. Apart from puddings. Cos that would be weird.

[Gap Filler]

I'd stick HP on a pud. Hell, I'd stick Marmite in a pud. Just saying.

[Metcarfre]

This reminds me that I have German curry ketchup in my cupboard...

I GOTTA GO-

[Elomin Sha]

Damn dirty Jerry rotters.

[Merrymaker_Mortalis]

This isn't a meme in the strictest sense but if anyone wants to try it, feel free. Explain the appeal and/or the cultural significance of the following in less than ten words or the written equivalent of one minute.

1. Marmite < Bovil
2. Allotments - Parents own them
3. Carry On Films - Sigh
4. Oxbridge - ?
5. Roland the Rat - I'm too young
6. Home DIY - Shudder
7. Cricket - I enjoy the sport. Shame the balls are hard and humans who are more skilled than you are cunts.
8. Saucy Post cards - Sigh
9. Mortgages as a Casual Conversation Topic - Too young.
10. Pantomine - Sigh, same as carry-on films but worse as they're aimed at children.
11. HP Sauce < Mayonnaise
12. Morris Dancing - Lethal

[auberginequeen]

I was bored, so I thought I'd fill it in from my Canadian-who-watches-too-many-comedic-British-panel-shows perspective.

1. Marmite - A spread made in the depths of Hell.
2. Allotments - I like allotments a lot.
3. Carry On Films - Films about luggage.
4. Oxbridge - Like Uxbridge but with an O.
5. Roland the Rat - Like Rizzo the Rat but doesn't hang out with Gonzo.
6. Home DIY - Perfectly sensible if you have any idea what you're doing.
7. Cricket - The only sport at which my high school excelled.
8. Saucy Postcards - Covered in HP sauce to make them more appealing.
9. Mortgages as a Casual Conversation Topic - The Brits are nosey.
10. Pantomime - Hey! It's actually pretty impressive!
11. HP Sauce - Deliciousness incarnate.
12. Morris Dancing - You mean this actually exists?

[Geoff_B]

Do I spy influences from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue in there?

[plummeting_sloth]

It's one list sung to the tune of another. If that's unclear, allow me to elucidate:

Anyone having trouble grasping this concept may care to consider a list to be like a tree. The leaves represent the words, which occasionally fall off to be replaced later by new leaves, or different words. Obviously, the discarded words don't form a slimy layer on top of your lawn like leaves do, that is why they should be swept up and placed in a heap to be burnt on bonfire night to the accompaniment of loud bangs as the hedgehogs explode. Now I come to think of it, there is no record of a few lists ever causing an express train to sit outside Tunbridge Wells station for nine hours at a time, not that you would think leaves on the line would be such a problem these days, so few trains actually seem to stay on them. I can guess what you are thinking — what kind of species of tree is this? Is it an Elder? Is is an Ash? You could try asking a so called expert, but in all likelihood he wouldn't know his Ash from his Elder. At the piano, Colin Sell

[theDreamer]

...

A list that's like a tree?

(list 1 2 (list (list (list 3 4) 5 (list 6) (list)) (list 7 8 9)) 10)

[Tycherin]

...

A list that's like a tree?

(list 1 2 (list (list (list 3 4) 5 (list 6) (list)) (list 7 8 9)) 10)

You're giving me LISP/Scheme flashbacks. Is (list) even valid?

In other news, I don't think hedgehogs are supposed to explode. But hey, maybe that's a British thing. I only even understand about half of the Britishness list, so maybe that's just what hedgehogs do across the pond.

[theDreamer]

Pairs and Lists

It was in "Dr. Racket" which may not technically be Scheme, I forget.

We were told it was Scheme, but the guys who made the UI wanted to call it something else.

[Lord Chrusher]

7. Invented by British, understood by no-one, we always lose.

I was under the impression that Britain retain the Ashes during the last series. Britain is currently the topped ranked country in Test cricket.

The British are quite good at inventing sports that foreigners turn out to be better at.

Badminton
Cricket
Curling
Field Hockey
Golf
Netball
Rugby (both codes)
Soccer
Tennis